I GOT MY LICENSE TODAY!!!!:D:)

FINALLY! I wore my prayer necklace and hoped a lucky seven date would work for me...and they did! I can now drive on my own (even though I won't do it for a while)....yet another milestone of my life is accomplished. I feel much better now.;)

Today it was so warm out you could wear short sleeves without a coat. I loved the weather. I kept the window rolled down in the car on the way home.....it's not everyday you can go outside WITHOUT a coat in early March.:P

How was everyone's Saturday?:)

SPRING IS COMING!

Lately it's been so much warmer out, and I hear BIRDS in the morning! And the groundhog said we're getting 6 more weeks of winter! For once, I'm glad that groundhog was wrong. If there were 6 more weeks of winter to endure, I'd go insane!

Anyways, I'm so happy for SPRING to come that I feel completely optimistic about...everything! Except for Grad Project. That is a pain in the behind, but I'll make progress this week. I can't wait for the next 3 months to fly! Then it's summer, and all I have left of school is SENIOR YEAR!

Has it been getting warmer for all of you? I certainly hope so, the warm weather is so much cheerier and enjoyable!

First of all, I want to say that I'm glad so many of you Harry Potter fans liked those gags I posted in my last two blogs. I can you didn't see the message I posted below the last one, I did not create those. I came across them on the Internet, and they were made by a girl who goes by kellyannthevampire. Credit goes to HER!

Now, another thing...because I like to share jokes with people, I just have to share one with you guys that I heard at work today. There are mostly adults there and dirty jokes often get passed around..and this one might be funnier to adults or older kids, but I had to share it with you all...

*President Obama decided he was no longer going to overpay the military veterans who needed to retire. He decided that they would get $1,000 for each inch of skin they had on their bodies. The military veterans all went to get measured for to find out how much money they would receive.

The first man went in to get measured from his head to his feet. He was 72" long, so he got 72 thousand dollars.

The second man went in to get measured, and he chose to be measured with his arms spread out, and for his money to be equivalent to the length from the tips of left fingers to his right. It was a whopping 82 inches long, and so of course he got 82 thousand dollars.

The third man went to be measured, and he chose to be measured a bit...differently. He wanted to be measured from his p***s to the tip of his b****s. People told him he would not get much money that way, but that was how he wanted it.

So he took of his trousers and one guy began to measure him. As he measured the you-know-what however, he noticed something and became quite startled.

Measuring Man: Sir, where are your b****s?!

Third Man: They're in Vietnam. START MEASURING BUDDY!:lol:

Now, the last thing I want to mention, I promise. This may sound REALLY STUPID, but it was scaring me and I had to get it off my chest. You see, for the past couple of years, I've been dealing with really strange spasms of pain on the right side of my chest. It never occurs while I'm exercising...I could be sitting here, for example (and this has happened) and the pain comes, and I never know why. I try to press my hand where I feel it, but it doesn't go away. I usually have to lay down with hand pressed at the bad area and inhale with deep breaths, clearing my mind of all thoughts. I now might be doing yoga on the WiiFit to help with stress and anxiety, so I can quit worrying and deal with the problem. I was upset right before I got on here because I had pain and it wouldn't go away, and I had an even worse spell earlier in the day. I did some research online and thought I might have a problem where certain chest muscles don't get enough of oxygen-pumped blood. However, I got lightheaded from reading about it and had to get off. I won't say anything because I've had blood taken a lot over the past couple of years and there's nothing wrong with me! I don't want to waste my time at a doctor...oooh I have to stop now. I'm getting lightheaded.

300 Things Not To Do At Hogwarts

151. The Ravenclaws are not "Mentals in training".

152. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazghul is coincidental.

153. Professor Flitwick does not wish to be adressed as "Admiral Naismith".

154. I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.

155. I will not teach the first-years to sing "A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End".

156. If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have said so already.

157. I will not go to meals dressed as Choda Boy.

158. Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corp.

159. I will not draw an "H" on Percy Weasley's forehead.

160. My name is not Captain Subtext.

161. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab does not sell potions ingredients and I will not resell their products as "Veela Pheremones".

162. I will not refer to Kingsley Shacklebolt as a "Big Black Sex Auror".

163. I cannot Hadoken anything into oblivion.

164. I am not the Defense Against the Boring Lessons Professor.

165. I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.

166. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled "Firewhiskey".

167. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not
permitted on school grounds, not even for entertainment purposes.

168. First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

169. A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored I become.

170. It is inappropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape's personal postbox.

171. I will stop referring to Hufflepuff's as "cannon fodder".

172. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions lessons.

173. First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.

174. Novelty or holiday themed ties are not to be worn with my school uniform.

175. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin house mascot.

176. When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I
will not lift my wand skyward and shout "There can be only ONE!".

178. I should not refer to DADA professors as "canarie in the coal mine".

179. I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life." to Lord Voldemort.

180. I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.

181. Albus Dumbledore's proper title is "Headmaster", not "My Liege".

182. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that Iforesaw her death.

183. I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.

184. If asked in school what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling "It Does
DEATH!!!" may be correct but it is not the manner in which one should
answer.

185. I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here.

186. I am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.

187. A time turner is not a flux capacitator, and I should therefore not install one in any Muggle cars.

188. I am not allowed to use silencing charms on my Professors.

189. I will not charm Hermione's time turner to rotate every half-hour.

190. I will not attempt to recreate the Key to Time in Transfiguration lessons.

191. I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos".

192. When being interrogated by a member of the staff, I am not to wave my
hand and announce "These are not the droids you are looking for".

193. I am not a member of the Spanish Inquisition.

194. Albus Dumbledore is not my personal Jesus.

195. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.

196. I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts: A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.

197. "OMGWTF" is not a spell.

198. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.

199. I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbott and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.

200. I will not cast the occasional Oblivate spell on Dumbledore, even if it would be amusing.

201. I am not allowed to give the Gryffindors Pixie Stix.

102. I will not douse Harry Potter's Invisibility Cloak with lemon juice to
see if he will become visible wearing it and standing near the fire in
the common room.

203. I will not tell first years that Moon Prism Power is a basic Transfiguration spell.

204. I will not yell "Believe it... or not!" after any of Dumbledore's speeches.

205. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they are real animals.

206. I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.

207. I will not sing The Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.

208. I will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.

209. I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

210. I am not allowed to begin each Herbology lessons by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes".

211. I will not teach the first years to play "The Penis Game" in the Great Hall during dinner.

212. I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue.

213. I will not organize a Hogwarts Fight Club.

214. There is no such thing as the Chamber of Double Secret Probation.

215. I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow Peeps.

216. I will never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.

217. Voldemort is not Ganandorf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.

218. I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rock series during Arithmancy exams.

219. I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas feast.

220. I will not call Professor McGonagall "McGoogles".

221. I am not allowed to make lightsaber sound with my wand.

222. "Draco Malfoy Takes it Up The Arse" is not an acceptable Quidditch chant.

223. I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.

224. I will not wear my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT! shirt to school.

225. I am not allowed to reenact famous battles of the Revolutionary War in the charms corridor.

226. I am not allowed to declare an official Hug A Slytherin Day.

227. I am not allowed to introduce myself to the first years as Tim the Enchanter.

228. I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance into any ****oom.

229. I will not try and start Naked Thursdays in the Common Room.

230. It is not necessary for me to yell "BAMF!" every time I Apparate.

231. I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.

232. My name is not "The Dark Lord Happy-Pants" and I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.

233. I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.

234. I will not dress up in a Dementor suit and use a Dustbuster on Harry's lips to get him to do what I want.

235. I will not start food fights in the Great Hall.

236. I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

237. The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife.

238. It is not necessary to yell "Burn!" everytime Snape takes points from Gryffindor.

239. "Y'all check this-here crap out!" is not an appropriate way to announce
that you are about to perform an experimental spell.

240. I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout "I have the power!"

241. I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.

242. Getting everyone in the Great Hall to do the Time Warp will not earn me any house points .

243. I shall not throw Professor Snape down on the floor and have my way with him.

244. I will not ask Voldemort why Harry Potter got a lightning bolt on his head instead of a flaming skull.

245. I will not transfigure Ron Weasly into a levitating snake.

246. I will not ask any centar about his/her mating habits.

247. I am not allowed to set up a first-year on a blind date with Moaning Mrytle.

248. I will not assassinate the current DADA teacher to get it over with.

249. I will not pluck feathers from Fawks.

250. I shall not give Professor Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.

251. I shall not refer to Malfoy as a cuddle-monkey

252. I shall not aim an angry dragon at the Whomping Widdow and take bets on which comes out the victor.

253. I will not tell Wormtail that his silver hand looks "groovy", nor will I encourage him to replace it with a Muggle chainsaw.
254 The Slytherin house badge has nothing to do with the Auryn.
246. I am not one of the 110 types of Rhinovirus Animagus; and even if I were, it would be cheating to win a Wizard's Duel by transforming.
257. If Lupin requests something of me, it is considered very rude to refuse by replying, "Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!"

258. "Dr Mordrid" is not an educational film.
259. I will not attempt to repel Dementors by coating myself in chocolate body paint.
260. I am not allowed to shout, "Boy howdy, looks like the circus is in town!" when the new Profs. are introduced.
261. Chocolate frogs do not come in "crunchy".
262. I will not set up a blind date between Dumbledore and that Nimue chick.
263. I will not tell any Weasley that porn is "hilarious", nor will I insist that it is "crucial".
264. No matter how badly she botches that potion, I shall not refer to Hermione as "Kitty Galore".
265. The Necronomicon Ex Mortuus is not the wizardly version of the Kama Sutra.
266. No spitting in the Pensieve.
267. G. G. Allen is not the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.
268. No one is bogarting my mandrake, dude.
269. I will stop pestering Prof. Flitwick about ioun stones, Prismatic Spray, and any type of fireballs.
270. No, that is NOT the main ingredient in Pixie Stix, and I am not to imply that it is so.
271. R'lyeh is not located under the Lake.
272. "Blast-ended skrewt" is not synonomous with crayfish/crawdad/mudbug/freshwater lobster, and I am not to suggest so to the House Elves when they have gumbo on the menu.
273. That glowing green potion I mixed up does not re-animate the dead.
274. I will stop pasting happy face stickers on Lupin's office door.
275. Under no circumstances will I greet Prof. McGonagell by inquiring, "What's new, kitty cat?"
276. "Dead Man's Party" is a kickass song but probably not appropriate for a Deathday celebration. Ditto "No One Lives Forever".
277. Hermione, Luna and Ginny are not my Angels.
278. Sufficently advanced technology is NOT indistinguishable from magic.
279. I will not address Hagrid as "Groundskeeper Willie".
280. I will not ask Firenze if he can get me Mr. Ed's autograph.
281. Further, I will keep all "hung like a horse" jokes to myself in Diviniation lessons.
282. I will not detonate Squibs.
283. Puzzleboxes are to be solved on my own time.
284. I will stop asking if Draco is related to Andy Warhol.
285. I will not teach the veela the lyrics to "Whoops, I Did It Again" even if they ask nicely.
286. I will not use the time turner to go into the past and seduce my father, thereby ceasing to exist, which means I could not have gone into the past and seduced my father, which means I do exist, which means I can go back and . . . oh, nevermind.

287. I will not give Fred and George sporks

288. I do not have a Dalek Patronus.

289. I will not refer to Bellatrix Lestrange as Bellab****, Trixie or bellatrix **** if I don't want my head blown off.

-289b. Nor will I refer to her as "Voldie's Hooker", no matter how many people say its true.

290. I will not attack Voldemort with "My Big Book of Easy Spells"

291. I must not set up an underground dueling arena.

292. I must not pay first years a galleon to pee in Mad-Eye Moody's hip flask.

293. I must not use the Invisibility Cloak to sneak into the girl's/boy's dorm.
294. I must not ask Prof. Trewlawny where she laid her eggs.
295. I must not leave shampoo on Prof. Snape's desk with instructions on how to properly wash his hair.

296. Putting a snitch in Malfoy's pants really isn't all that funny. Even if it does make him scream like a girl.
297. I am not to tell Nearly Headless Nick that he'd forget his head if it wasn't attached--thats just cruel.
298. I should not confess to crimes that happened before I was born, even if I have access to a time turner.

299. "Swish and flick" is only a wand movement.

300. I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas