SHE...

I'm so glad to have you all to share my excitement with. :oops:

(Update on my life as soon as I'll have the time for that.)

These six said it all.

I've just watched Memento. First I had the only intention of finding Jorja in it, be glad that she's great and finish off with the rest as soon as possible. However, it's not just Jorja that is great about this movie. The movie itself is great, in a strange sense of the word.
You can't possibly enjoy it while watching. The whole topic of the story makes it impossible for the audience to relax. You have to listen to every little detail to follow the storyline, you have to connect the dots for yourself. In the very first minutes you realize that the only way to catch up with the main character's story is to study the events backwards in time.
The only thing you can be sure of is that this guy had a surgery (you've got (and actually he's got) no idea when exactly) and from then on he's lost his short term memory. He can remember the things that happened before the operation but nothing that happened after it. So he has to create a system that works. He's convinced that his wife (Jorja) was raped and murdered by a guy called John G. His only intention is to take revenge on him no matter what. He slowly finds out about some details and in order to keep the facts together he has a tattoo of each of them on his body.
At the end the whole story becomes a big mess. There are several possibilities and you've got to choose which one to believe. Maybe it was he himself who killed his wife, or maybe his wife died because of her diabetes or maybe John G. was indeed the murderer.
However, the idea is perfect alone, it's not the story that makes this movie so special. It's rather the fact that you can't just move on after watching. You can't just turn off the TV and go to bed.
The movie shows that how defenceless and weak a man becomes when he has no short term memory. And actually how all the other people use him for their own purposes. How desperate a man can be to try and solve a puzzle that cannot be solved. How a man who has no recent memories suffers from the memories he has from the past. How a man can fight for his long ago forgotten life.
And time by time for just seconds you can see a smiling and beautiful Jorja, the wife who was probably the only one this guy has ever loved. And from all his memories she's the only one who cannot ever be forgotten. No matter how hard he tries. And in the scene where he burns her stuff and says 'Probably I tried this before. Probably burned truck loads of your stuff. I can't remember to forget you' - you just find your heart broken. He can be reminded of everything by those little notes. Everything, except this. He can't remember to forget her. And in the same time it's both desperately sad and beautifully touching.
For all the 109 minutes of the movie you just wish to see them together. Somehow, somewhere, sometime. And it leaves an incredibly huge space behind. And deep inside you know that it is the way it had to be done. And this paradox made of love and pain makes you move and hold on no matter how hard it is.

You can just feel the details. The bits and pieces you never bothered to put into words. And you can feel these extreme moments... even if you don't want to. You put these together, and you get the feel of a person. Enough to know how much you miss them...

Stolen from Una who stole it from Brass... Someone said a while ago thatit's no crime to steal from a thief. ;)

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you said?
I should really wash my hair tomorrow...

2. When is the next time you will make out?
Nah, that's a good question.

3. What's a word that rhymes with "LUCK"?
Duck.

4. What's your favorite planet?
Pluto. (Nope, I really do not care that officially it's not a planet anymore.) He's so far away and so lonely and so little. I guess he really needs a friend, so I often chat with him. (Nah, guess I really need a friend too. ;) )

5. Who's the 2nd person on your missed calls list?
Flora, one of my best friends.

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
Oh, I hate every one of those. They're just... loud, I guess.

7. What shirt are you wearing right now?
A simple blue top. :)

8. What do you "label" yourself as?
I'd rather label Una, if that's alright. ;) Dunno, maybe I'm a geek. No, I'm really a geek.

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?
Barefoot (me too ;) )

10. Bright or dark room?
Bright.

11. What do you think about the person who last took this survey?
Wee, Una? :lol: She's definitely the only person who can make my worst days better with her wonderful sense of humor. ;) (And the only person who'd like to name her little girl Hugh.)

12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on?
Which has a night table beside it.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Watching the concert of a really old Hungarian band on TV. (It was pretty good, in case you were wondering. :P )

14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say?
Weeee, curly, really!? Is it permed or you just used curling-irons? That way it won't last too long. (Just for the record, it's permed. ;) )

15. What just so happens to be the best song in the world?
You mean the current best song of the world? ;) I've got no idea, it changes every day for me. Ok, Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head is definitely one of the bests. :)

16. What's a word or phrase that you say a lot?
Sure ;)

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
My best friend

18.Last furry thing you touched?
Umm, seems stupid, but I got a pen with purple fur on it from my godmother. ^^

19. How many drugs have you done in the past 3 days?
None

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
If I didn't have a digital camera, I'd definitely need at least three. ^^

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
3 was nice, as far as I can remember.

22. Hats or beanies?
Bah, hats.

23. Your worst enemy?
Someone, who'd like me to talk about my feelings. :P

24. What is your current desktop picture?
A heart made of ice. :)

25. What is the last thing you said to someone?
Bye Grandma', see you on Tuesday, take care.

26. Do you love someone?
Nah, that's a stupid question. Surely I love my family, but I guess it's supposed to ask if I have a boyfriend to love or not, and then the answer is no. ^^ (However I'm in love with Dumbledore. What? Why is it so important that he's not alive? ;) )

27. Last song you listened to?
Paradise City - Guns 'n' Roses

28. If the last person you spoke to on the phone was getting shot at what would you do?
That would be my oldest cousin. I really don't know. I don't think the family could handle any more loss.

29. Do you do the games in the ads on myspace?
No.

30. What are your favorite Pjs?
A red short with the red T-shirt I got on the physics tournament. (I told you I'm a geek.)

31. What do you do when you pass graveyards?
Usually think about my Mom.

32. Have you ever seen a shooting star?
Sure.

33. How old do you think you'll live to be
If Una invents the youth elixir, then forever. If not, for 73 years.

34. Song lyrics stuck in your head?
You'd love me to want you, the way that I want to, If you only let it be...

35. List five things you want to do in your lifetime: (in no particular order).

1. Have a little girl called Krisztina (at least for middle name)

2. Become a physicist

3. Go skying with my best friend

4. Visit Australia

5. At last I'd really like to say a proper goodbye to the people I love. No, I don't want cancer. ;)

36. What do you put on your hamburgers?
I don't like hamburgers.

37. Do you eat raw hot dogs?
Huh. No.

38. Do you like sushi?
Tryed it in South Korea, and well, I should say not my type.

39. How much salad dressing do you put on your salad?
Depends. If my father makes it then a lot. If it's from the shop then not so much. ^^

40. Next place you will go on holiday?
Maybe Croatia. Hope so, at least. ^^

I tryed it so hard to think about and colllect all the logical reasons why you should not consider not getting an A on your exam as a total disaster. I tryed it so hard preparing to comfort you when you finally let the tears of your broken heart fall onto the well-known pages of the biochemistry book. I tryed it so hard, but it's still not easy. It's not easy because for you it is a disaster and it would be my job to convince you that it's not, however I truly feel your pain. I know how ashamed you are, I know how many pieces your heart was broken into, I know the shape of all the pieces, I know that you cannot be convinced. I know you.
And still, I have to say something. First I thought about my father's ideas. About the things he says when life is too disappointing to handle it alone. He really has no idea about life. His main reason is that 'you can't be good at everything'. I guess it's supposed to make you feel better, it has to total opposite effect. Practically it says that though you can be good at lots of things, this one is definitely not among them. And surely that's not something you'd like to hear right now.
So I tryed to find deep in my heart all the things my Mom used to say. All her comforting words, her comforting tone. She always told me that however it seems like it, life is not about exams. There is something more important here that should be found. And though exams are important, life is not long enough to afford to have your heart broken at every one of them. And then she simply took my hand, and it was just then when I suddenly realized that my heart was whole again.
Maybe I can't heal your heart completely as I really can't turn back the time. I'd only like to stick the pieces together.
You don't always have to be so strong. You don't have to prove us anything. You are a fighter, the greatest. And we all know it.

Tomorrow comes to take me away
I wish that I... that I could stay

Bah. Actually today comes to take me away, but yeah, the second line cannot be more true. Anyway, brb after the loneliest bike-tour ever. Yay. -.-

Una, you just go on running while I'm away, otherwise you'll be officially labelled as a 'kinda-normal person'. ;)

Bugs, if you happen to read this, signal me somehow that you're alive. :)

Gs, have an amazing holiday in Chicago and don't forget to take LOTS of pictures. :)

Brass, if you have any new stuff (video, fanfic, whatever), write me a message so I can catch up with them when I return home. Thank you. ;)

Everyone, have a beautiful summer, take care, and huh, see you in a week.

It would be so much easier. Much much much more easier. Just to type in the keywords and the appropriate book would start flashing. Or dunno, making sounds. It would be so much easier to find it. Bah. I want that book so desperately and Dad keeps saying that it's somewhere in the house. Huh. Thanks. Somewhere. So much for the help. Anyway, sometimes I feel the world should be computerized a little bit more. Just to find that freaking book. I would type "Szerb Antal" (the author) and all the Szerb Antal books would start flashing or making sounds or popping from the shelves or whatever.*needs that book* See? Life is hard. ;)

Anyway, on a totally different topic. I'm glad you're here Guys. All of you, really. It's just... it's good to see that someone cares. So basically I just wanted to say thank you. :)

Eh. Again. Sorry everyone, my grandparents can't stand that I'm at home while they have that house at Lake Balaton. Ok, well, the current weather suggests being near a lake but I'd rather die without internet than without water. Addiction? No way. Why do you think that? :P

Whatever. Have a beautiful summer everyone, I guess I'll be back on the next weekend. -.- *hates going away from home... ehm... from her computer*

It's kinda like ironic when you accidentally step on the little angel figure attached to your pencilcase and after all you get such a deep wound that you can't even stand up.

So that's it. The decision has been made and cannot ever be changed.

That's life...
And as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks
Stompin' on a dream...

Right. If I ever die (I mean if Una doesn't invent the youth elixir quickly enough by chance), COD will definitely be caffeine-overdose. I. Want. To. Sleep. Hope I've made myself clear. *dead tired*