So anyway, this new glitch where I cannot see my PM's is getting annoying-in fact it's taking annoying to a whole other level. -_- I'm sorry but for now it seems I cannot carry on a basic conversation, so I'm sorry to those who I was talking to lately and if you noticed that my replies have seemed to stopped it's because I cannot see anything, nor reply to any of them, I can only send out. -_- man this is so annoying. Even when I post a new message it's taking me all the way to the first post and page. I mean it's NEVER been this bad before. Anyway, I thought I'd tell you all. For the time being you can use this area to talk to me. I've officially designated it a Larxene Zone, where you may ask all the questions you want in limitation. I'll be checking it a lot since my PM's are down. ;) Yeah life's been okay lately, I'm going to see the new Saw movie tomorrow. Payday is Monday as well, and I'm hoping for a decent sized check. I really do feel better when I come on this site as I have people to talk to who aren't half as incompitent as the people I work with. I really do want to strangle the lot of them. Anyway, a topic I'd like to add to my blog is: Do you ever feel like you've truly come alive when you're with friends? Is that the real person you display to them?

Yes I am back. You've been warned. Been idle for a while focusing only certain things because I became completely overwhelmed by emails and personal things. I am back. Life's been grand at McDonalds, why-because I MADE IT SO. That's right, it was time to take initiative, because it's dog EAT DOG. I didn't want to get stuck flippin burgers. So I walked up while someone was absent and started filling orders, CORRECTLY-something a lot of others are to lazy to do. What happened then? The floor manager was stunned to see me do something other than grill, straws, napkins, condiments in the bag quickly and orderly. We have 90 seconds to grab everything from the grill team, and hand it to the Presentor in time, however even when slow orders are taking 130-250, which is 2minutes and 70seconds. Way too long for your food to be given to you. So they're slowly changing my position I'm working, and I'm butting into other positions, I've slowly trained myself into the different positions and now I'm a jack of all traits. This is good for me, bad for front counter employee's and drive through runners. Infact I'm quick enough to do HBO's. (Handing Before Order completed, meaning it was put together before they got to the final window usually taking 50 seconds) My relationship with Josh is extremely strained, to the point of I want to break his neck every day, to I just LOOOOVE him sometimes...He's so freggin' random I swear. However arse kissing to someone younger than you in a better position with anger management issues is tough at times. I've been making good money too lately with 60-70hours. I've finished with my Xmas money. I'm still waiting for my FAFSA to finish, the college is reviewing it now. I've made good relations with the over night crew which is nearly perminent since there are so few who would work it. I work with Jesse, Vanessa, and Tiffany. :P Making simple accidents like adding extra cheese, or an extra patties goes a long way with both Jesse and Vanessa. However Tiffany is harder to get accepted by, she's a real hardcore woman, and she's actually pretty tough as I think she might beat the heck out of me if I said something wrong, but the overnight crew is lazy, and that's how I get accepted by her by doing my work thoroughly and quick.

Let us not forget the brave souls that fought in S.E.E. Hurt and Heal game, Team Paladin. We (Runic Warriors) wish you the best of intentions and luck as mercinaries. We will fight the rest of our opponents with determination and absolute ruthlessness to achieve our goal-victory. There is no such thing as luck, only skill on the battlefield.

I still have no social life here other than work, I've been feeling real lonely lately. I truly CANNOT wait for college to start, maybe I'll meet a good friend like Joy or Nathan in real life. :P But I don't get along with a lot of these Oregonian women, they're very different here. I'm also hoping I get Halloween off as well, I requested it two months prior, but some of those stupid darn teeny-boppers is going to get it of course, that wouldn't be right if I got it. If I do, I'm going to be happy though, but I won't hold my breath. Even though they request it a week before or a few days, they always seem to freakin' get it. ARRRGG! I'm back as you know, I guess this place is better than my real social life, so I'll stick around a while longer. :) I've been to see many movies lately, and many more are comming out soon that are beyond capturing my attention. I'm 2 DVD's short of my Fushigi Yugi series being completed and these past two have been GREAT, and I'm enjoying my third Scrapped Princess DVD. I'd love to talk more but I've got some stuff to do. Later~

I'll be sending a movies list topic around soon, so look forward to that! ;)

Well today was a pretty good day which seems to be getting rarer day by day. I woke up and watched my BRAND NEW DVD that came yesterday of an anime that is of THE HIGHEST quality called Scrapped Princess. I at first was kinda thrown off by it's light heartedness as I was afraid it was going to be too happy go lucky no point for me. However I was VASTLY wrong about it, I was thrown off many times by how many dark themes were hidden in it, how real it seemed, how sinnister some of the plot twists truly were. You never, NEVER know how people will act in this anime, because often the nicest are the most cruel, it's got a major cast too. THere's so much going on it feels like you're lost every bit of the way, lost in it's wondrous lore. The animation quality is EXTREMELY well done and VERY FEW anime's EVER have this level of quality. The soundtrack as well is INCREDIBLE, and they actually put effort into it. The voice work done is on par with everything else from everyone like Kari Wahlgen, Steven Jay Blum, Crispin Freeman, Yuri Lowenthal, and other major named actors. I was DEFINITELY left with a feeling to buy the next DVD, and I will DO so until I've completed it, this is a rarity that comes along every so often, I will NOT pass this chance up!

Well after eating, and showering before my mother came home, I decided to plop down and play my new Game Soul Nomad: And The World Eaters, I got a call. It was from my work, I was delighted to see them call me because it meant I'd get more hours, little did I know it'd get them alright...So I was 45 minutes late to my shift I had today, because I misread one of the days I worked because it's in military time. I thought I had the day off but I was supposed to be in at about 5PM, I got there at about 6PM...It was 5minutes until dinner at the time, so I never got to eat...I couldn't eat at work either or else they would've been EXTREMELY angry, especially during dinner rush. :D So I got my only break at about 9:30, 30minutes until I was going to leave.... :D Yay, starving lil' ol me!! This totally hunky urban kid walked by me while I was cleaning the lobby, and he had on colonge, and my GOD!! I cought a wiff of it by breathing, and I was like OH MY GOD!!! I was like DAYUM!! It wassexy tosay the least. I would'vetalked to him if I wasn't in my oh so sex appealing McDonalds uniform midlife crisis' wear. -_-;

Now I'm back home catching up on GS, starting to feel overwhelemed by the SHEAR size of emails I'm getting....I love you all, don't get me wrong. :) Now I've FINALLY cought up with PBR's! Yay!!! :D Also I am trying to catch up on anything, so If I've missed something please tell me. Overall my day has been pretty good, which again-is a rarity it seems.

Catch you all later~

I know some of you are very nice, and behave very well. But recently I'm being pestered by obnoxious spam, and you know who you are. I am warning you, I will put you on ignore if you continue your CHILDISH antics, and it will get you NO WHERE on S.E.E. I will NOT tolerate childish 1337 speak, or constant PM's just because you're bored. All of you, my friends have been warned as well. I do not play ball like that, two strikes and you're out.

Also on the side note I picked up my copy of Soul Nomad, and I'll be playing it after I catch up tonight. :) Looks good though already! I love the box art!

I put SWEAT, and BLOOD into my latest OST review.....one noone had done before... I was finishing it up and all of a sudden gamespot glitched out on me by clearing my page....I spent a freakin hour writing a brand new refreshing review.....looked for rare and peculiar eye catching pictures.....wrote a very indepth review one I was SURE to get praised for......all gone.....at the end.....I give up!!!

Ps. Getting off now, not in the best of moods.

HIM: Venus Doom is definitely his darkest album to date, but definitely not the best. I still am in deep love over Dark Light and this one seems to be a let down for me. There are a few key songs which are VERY good, but the rest seems to fall short. Also all of his songs are now uneedingly longer, all are about 5mins, and one even 10minutes long with filler inbetween lyrics, and horrid drumming which strings out the time between actual music. The other CD I got was very good, Bluestone: Breath, it's New Age/Electronica, and I am VERY happy I spent all of 13$ to get it at Barnes and Noble. :) I am aiming to get Mysteria: Tempting The Muse next, I hope some of you have heard of it. My favorite song from the new HIM CD is Passions Killing Floor simply for the edgey guitar solo piece inserts, but song wise mine is Daydreaming Past Hope, which is long but very good. Traveler and Confession, and also Contact are THE premier songs on the Bluestone CD. They remind me a lot of Enigma only with less of a sexual theme, and more good songs. Some of it is so easy to get lost in. It comes complete with sexy French inserts and Gregorian Chants, even a few inserts of Native America chants-it's appealed to me much more than my overpriced HIM CD. I'm going to see Resident Evil 3: Extinction tomorrow so that's why I'll be gone most the day, because I also have work right after untill about midnight.

I ask myself, "Am I too human?" at times. I truly wonder this as people never seem to see the ugly side of things. Some people never seem to understand, nor wish to about the things that go on around them, they'd rather relax and feed off their own denial. This truly sickens me, and has made me come to a relization. Am I too human? Human nature depicts certain aspects of our personalities, and behavior patterns, we cannot defy them try as we might. We hear about heroes such as those of 9/11, a guy who saves a dog from a burning building, or perhaps our soldiers from Iraq, but what makes them truly heroes? If you just said it's because they're willing to sacrafice themselves to keep our country safe, I'd have to really say: What a dumb response. Allow me to digress; I beleive what makes them "heroes" a title granted to those who surpase our human limitations is granted only through death. I don't beleive in a "hero" that still lives. I beleive what makes them heroes is their ability to surpase our human instincts, such as risking their lives to save someone or something-yes I know that contradicts what I stated previously-here is where our opinions probably dissapate. I beleive that is not something worth the title of "hero", perhaps it's because to me they seem brain washed, or forced to give up something no human could. Am I the only one too see the grass on the other side? Am I too human? It's human nature to destroy, and waste, waste, and waste on we run-but there are those who transcende these regulations. Is it out of love? The incurable diseases which hampers our senses, eridicates our human instincts? I don't beleive in love. Love is futile, and born from what I beleive to be selfishness. Love is when you fall in complete disaray, head over heals for someone be it of the opposite or same sex, that'd you'd do anything to see them again, to wish them the best, to make sure you stay with them for...eternity. Is that truly, love? We want to remain with them forever because it is human nature to be selfish, we want to own them, to have them to ourselves, this inherited flaw is imprinted unto all of us, leads us to kill, to rape, or to go as far and comment mass genocide. Am I the only one who see's both sides of the coin? I look at Hollywood now, and I see nothing but glits and glam so to speak, nothing more than cheap blockbuster magic. Did you know that Hollywood doesn't actually exist? The real one you see on TV is actually near LA and it is just a red carpet and a theater most the time, more illusions to spread the design of wealth. Wealth to me is truly the most grandios illusion of them all, we the capitalists spread the mirage further and further as we drink it's blood red elixer of acheivement. There's no such thing as wealth, the wealth now a days is just paper, and metal, items which we spend trying to gain items which we couldn't have before, and then it disapears, is there no greater mirage? I am no communist by any standard, I'm just saying does anyone else feel enslaved; made a fool? I look at Hollywood at most of the actors, people who've done nothing really but spend about 2hours on camera saying fictious lines gaining millions of dollars, yet are treated as gods. People try to idolize them, becoming more like them by the second. Why are they granted spotlight over stories which should be aired? Tell me, if a little black girl was kidnapped and the parents tried to get air time to help their girl get found, and Tom Cruise just took a dump on a sidewalk, which would be aired? I needn't ask the question as you already know, again I feel disgusted by myself over being too human. I feel no emotions of hearing some dead girl, a murderer's rampage, a rapists destructive wake, but I get giddy over hearing about the newest HIM CD comming out. Again human nature comes to play, we've been tugged by our human instincts once more, greed, lust, envy, gluttony. Tell me, would you care? I don't. I feel too human. Do you ever wonder why the latest fashions from Ambercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, or perhaps Hott Topic are all the rage? The answer is so easy, and corperations have used it to stimulate sales; because it stimulates our urges, our lust. Sure some say it's only to look pretty, or to look nice-but why would you want this deep down? To look good is to be noticed, peoples denial only masks our true human intentions; I speak of course of lust-again I feel too human. People shy away from more serious films because they'd like to wish beleive that fantasies are true, or see comedy's which make no sense, because they don't want to be reminded of truly themselves; what's the real worlds like. I ask you, would you prefer to live in something like the matrix? I beleive the matrix was the closests thing to Eden. Some say, that it is not because it is ruled by machines, divinations created by human intellect, wouldn't you like it if computers controlled us? Computers are not flawed by deadly sinful urges, and logically choose the wisests choices when possible, if we sacrafice our freedom we feel threatened because of our humanity, we're controlling, illogical beings, and yet why does it disgust me to be around my own kind? I feel so alone at work, I know at the end of the day they only spit curses at my name when alone. I don't like to conform to the traditions set by Hollywood nor anyone else, I like to carve my own out. We only live once, why should we copy others when we can realize our own? I've never met anyone else who thinks as I, or seems to be as truly human as I. I don't beleive in love, because in all truth it is just lust and selfishness, I've never met "the one", perhaps I never will-I feel too human, too ugly.

Thanks for reading my personal heartfelt journey into my persona. I didn't think it would get this large. I'd like to know what you think.

Hey everyone, I know I've been a wee bit cranky lately, and I appologize. I guess I've been PMSing quite a bit and I appologize, I'm just a little stressed. I'll try to be nicer more often, thanks for having the patience to deal with me. :)

Yeah, I know I've been a little less active in our union lately. However I am being kept busy by work, and PM's though. :) I am on at later times at night so it makes me seem gone a lot. However, fear not, I am there! I am also busy working on some other things with some friends here, and sending out comics which people seem to enjoy! I have rented two things this week, Howl's Moving Castle, and Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories. My god I watched Howl's Moving Castle, and it did NOT live up to the hype, it FAR SURPASSED it. My goodness that was such a wonderful and incredibly spirited movie about the joy of life, and love....I'm DEFINITELY going to add that movie to my Miyazaki collection. I really miss his movies, I know he'll come out retirement for like the 5th time sometime soon and make a new movie! I haven't seen Porco Rosso which is the only movie I've yet to see of his. I rented Disgaea 2, and it lives up the first just by a hair.

I don't like some of the sprites though, and the humors a little more shallow. However the battle system is still the same which is what keeps me hooked, with a few new jobs, new things to do at the Dark Assemybly a brand new Item World set up, and you can now get subpoena'd and convicted of crimes! :D Which in that game is a GOOD thing! Yes the game even comes with those lovable penny pinching sinful exploding penguins known as the Prinny Squad, DOOD!

:D I am really happy I spent 5$ to get both. I got a new account at Hollywoood Video so my rentals are half off for the next Month. :D But games are normally like 6.50 for the PS2 ones, so once it runs out I'm not going there any more. Way to expensive. And movies are like over 5$...:( A store owner of another one told me how to manipulate the half off prices which really made my day as she also held both the items I wanted at another store. She was really cool. :) Just so you know I am catching up on all of your guys' blogs, and there's plenty to catch up on! I almost got to do my SOC today however student new guy took the attention of someone. There was drama today at Mcdonalds too, someone who quit came back today with a shi77y attitude. :D That made my day! I never liked the shirker in the first place and he'd never listen to me when I tried to help him! I was going to be on all day today however I got called in early this morning and went in at 11AM-7PM today, and 8hour shift on my day off. :D I've got work tomorrow too but only for like 5 hours so I'll definitely be on later. :D I hope you guys had a great weekend, I'm in a good mood because I'm rockin' out to Arch Enemy: Doomsday Machine, the heaviest stuff around from Angela Glossow! :D

Yes, while working at a fast food restuarant you should expect teeny-bopper drama. However the night before's drama was quite a thiasco, and a mellow drama of a farce. First the three managers on duty were raving, and I mean RAVING! Someone who was supposed to show up didn't, and so they called them at their home, the manager said they needed to get here or else they'll be in trouble, however the person said they didn't work that day. The Manager that was supposed to come to work never did because he was wrongfully asigned the hours. It was made through a mistake, however they were going to be short on a Swing manager, so he NEEDED to come in anyway. So lots of drama, screaming on the phone, and yelling insued inside the tiny cramped office at McDonalds...I of course was wary to stay out of the trampling path of my Manager Tiffany. God forbid getting in the path she was pacing, you might get stepped on or an evil gaze which might bore a hole right through your noggin'. So she started calling up the different managers, none of which volunteered to come help. So she got stuck doing part of a graveyard shift, and was VERY unhappy...so I kinda stayed away from her the rest of the night until I requested to do my SoC's a type of test to get a badge that show's you can do other tasks, it's really annoying. She kinda was upset so I told her: "Some of these managers suck, I would've came. I'm always up during the night too." She said: "I know you would've. However I can't do your SoC's tonight, and I appologize you'll have to do them next time, sorry." So, I planted my seeds of succession into her while she was still ripe. (I should say I was weaseling my way into the upper eschelons of Managerial positions...I know that isn't going to sound right..) So things were finally getting BACK to normal.....until we get a call from the cops! Yes THE cops, the officers whom serve us in thebright shiney badges. A fight had taken place outside of our McDonalds on our property, and no one reported it. Where it happened almost noone inside could see, so of course the blame was put on Tiffany AGAIN,and the cops made her call the store Manager named Pipn (Pernounced Pee-In). Of course being woke up at night is nothing morethan a bothersome ordeal, however having to listen to copsand Tiffany sure would drive a wedge between their relationship....Anyway...Things settled down, and when I left someMORE teenagers were lounging outside our restraunt. Okay, listen, our McDonalds is VERY, VERY clean and one of the best ones I've seen, however at night some VERY crazy things happen. Lots of drama, fights, homeless, and in one case anangry drunk came in threatening employee's. Well, what ever, I know I'll live because my motto is: "First to run, last to die."