I just wrote this up on myspace, so I figured I'd just bring it on over here!
As most of you know, I am home from Holland. I can't believe it myself...all those months, counting down to the big day...it was August, finally September, and now it's almost November. Where did all the time go? *sigh* Let me start where I left off...
A week before I was supposed to leave, I lost my job. I was in a panic since I was expecting to have about 500 extra dollars to take with me on my trip, and have a job when I got home...it was quite a shock. I pulled myself together, and Michiel reassured me that everything would be just fine. Abby, Nikki, and Heidi all came over the day of my flight, September 17, to see me off. It still hadn't even really HIT me that I was leaving the country, by myself. My Dad came and picked me up and took me to the airport..once I got in there, it was real. Getting my bags checked and everything. Lucky for me, I boughta sidekick ID cell phone so I can access msn messenger and was able to keep in contact with all my online friends and Michiel.
My flight that was taking me from Cleveland to Chicago was running a delay and my flight from Chicago to Amsterdam was supposed to leave at 6pm. It was not good at all. I knew I wasn't going to make it. I finally get to Chicago, and take off running for gate C9 like a MAD woman and as I'm running up to the door, the f*cking plane is pulling away!!!!!!!!!! I started BAWLING my eyes out. I called my Mom first to tell her, she told me to find the customer service desk so I could get put on another flight, and I got off the phone with her and then Michiel called me quick and tried to calm me down, but honestly you guys...waiting soooo long to meet someone, and you're soooo f*ckin' close to having it happen...then just, nothing.
I went to the customer service desk and they tell me that they can't get me on another flight to Amsterdam until 6pm THE NEXT DAY! 24 HOURS! So they put me up in a nice hotel for the evening, paid for my meals, and flew me in business class! SCORE! I suppose it wasn't so terrible, because when I was in Holland, I b!tched at them and they added three extra days onto my trip! Woo!
When I finally got to Amsterdam, I was a nervous wreck. When I had to stay in the hotel, I had none of my bags. All my carry on bag had in it was like, my lap top, the charger, camera, my purse, some money...no make up, no hair stuff, nothing and no clean clothes. So I was lookin' likesh!t especially coming off of a six hour flight.
But then when I saw him standing there, waiting for me...there were no words. Literally. I walked up and he put his hands on my face and I put mine on his...we just stood there for what felt like ever..just looking at each other, then he kissed me. That was the absolute best kiss of my entire life. Everything changed...in one moment. Nothing else mattered except me, and him. He grabbed my big bag, I grabbed the small one and we walked to find the train, holding hands of course. We had only waited almost 9 months to do so. On the train we were like a bunch of little teenagers, kissing, smiling and our faces were red as all hell.
I didn't really get jet lag...I think because I was working third shift before, my sleeping was already really screwed up. I did sleep though, since they are six hours ahead and I had been up all night, and he had been too. We went to a few towns, and Paris. Paris was wonderful. I'd love to go back and visit. We went for 4 days, and met up with Elise and her fiance, another friend of mine off of our forum. It really is amazing the relationships and friendships you build with people who you've never met. I got to meet his family too. Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister, Brother in law and the neice and nephew. His brother in law was a marine, and is an American, so that was cool. We all got along very well.
The days started getting less and less. We went to Amsterdam on a Thursday, I was leaving Sunday. We got their late in the day, so didn't get to see everything so we were gonna go back on Friday, but just spent the day home. Friday night after dinner, we were watching a movie and I was FREEZING and my head hurt soooo bad that I couldn't even stand up by myself b/c I would have fallen over. I don't know what brought the fever and headaches on, but they stayed. Saturday, our last day together, I was in bed all day long. :( It sucked. I kept drifting in and out of sleep as the fever would come and go. Sometimes the only way I'd keep from shaking from being cold is he would have to just hold me to try and warm me up under 3 blankets! It was scary...the next morning we had to be ready and out the door at 7 to make it to the airport by 8. Michiel stayed up all night long, kept checking on me to make sure I'd be able to actually fly and make it to the da*mn airport.
That morning was terrible. I felt like absolute sh!t My hair was just a huge tangle because I washed it and didn't dry it before I fell asleep so it dryed a f*ckin' ball of tangles. I just pulled it in a pony tail. It was just so not real...leaving. It didn't feel possible, that when I walked out of his apartment, I wasn't gonna be coming back until who knows when. I could still hardly stand up by myself and I had a huge fever. I shouldn't have flown...we had a good hour before I had to go through security, so we just sat down and had some coffee and tried to enjoy the little time we had left.
Then it was 10 and I had to go. I just keep replaying this whole scene in my head and I don't know why this one..because it's the one that hurts the most. There were all sorts of people hugging, kissing, crying, saying goodbye...and then he put his hands on my face just like that first time and I started crying...we kissed and then I had to go. I showed the guy my passport, walked through the ropes, but then we hugged again and kissed and I had to walk away from him and I think that was the hardest thing that I've ever had to do. Not to just turn back and stay took everything in me..
I cried the entire way home, on every flight. I felt terrible because I was so sick, but the further away we got from Holland the more sh!tty I felt. I didn't know it was going to hurt so much. I still didn't know it was going to hurt THIS MUCH. I've been home for over 3 weeks now, and it still feels like yesterday. It's terrible...I try to be positive, because I know how blessed and lucky we are. The odds of us meeting the way we did, and having found something so remarkable is just not heard of. He is coming here for the holidays..we've just been waiting to hear when court is in recess so he can get away. So December is only like a month away...not much longer now.
In February, my friend Kori Staley, also one of my friends I met off of tv.com and she is a moderator on the forum with all of us...she got stationed to Naples, Italy. She and her husband are officers in the Marines and are flying myself, Tricia (the girl I went to New York with), and Michiel to Italy. Trish and I are staying for a month..we're gonna go to Russia, Spain, and Greece (atleast that's the plan for now...hehe) and Michiel and I are checking out schools for me to get enrolled in. Yep. I'm moving. To HOLLAND.
If somebody would have asked me a year ago where I would be in a year, I could have never of imagined this. I really owe Michiel, Kori, and Tricia. They were there for me to talk to when I needed somebody...which, about a year ago, was a lot. I am so happy with the choices that I have made in my life.
Somebody once asked me if I was going to throw away two years of my life. I'm never going to throw away any years of my life, and I don't feel that I have. Because the thing is: one person cannot, and will not be my whole life. Never, ever again. You have to have your hobbies, your friends, your job. You can love somebody, and love other things as well. You have to, because when that person is gone, you have nothing. I had nothing and it was my fault. Now, now I have everything and I am so proud of myself because I am way, way stronger than I have ever given myself credit for. Where I am right now, is because I found the strength within myself to do what I needed to do, and I will continue doing just that.
That's my story, for right now, and I'm stickin' to it.
Love you all.
Brittany
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