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lonely rolling star

This song makes me feel sad :(

Katamari Damacy - Lonely Rolling Star

hidamari sansan
kokoro wa haremoyou
futatsu no hitomi wa
himawari no tane no you
-
The sunny spot, brilliant and bright
My heart looks like clear skies
Those two eyes of yours
Look like sunflower seeds

katarai kasanari
katamari karamari
issho ni iru koto
zettai hitsuzen
-
Chatting, piling up,
katamari entangling
Being together
is absolutely necessary

demo anata daiji na yume wo egaku
owaru made wa zutto sou koko de matteiru
-
But you are painting an important dream
Until you're done, I'll be waiting here always

You're lonely rolling star
tachidomaranaide nee
You're lonely rolling star
saa mae wo muite yukou
-
You're lonely rolling star
Don't stand in one place, ok?
You're lonely rolling star
So, face forward and let's go!

hoshi.zorakirakira
konpeitou no you
amakute setsunai
omoi ga tsunoru no
-
The stary sky twinkle twinkle
It's just like confetti
These sweet yet painful
Feelings grow intense

dakishimeta omoi wa yozora wo mai
kyuukoukashi.te anata no moto e todoku kara
-
These warmly embraced feelings dance in the night sky
And rapidly plummet and arrive at your feet, so

You're lonely rolling star
akiramenaide yo nee
You're lonely rolling star
tama ni wa denwa shi.te
You're lonely rolling star
aitai yo ima sugu
You're lonely rolling star
haa tameiki ga hitotsu koboreru
-
You're lonely rolling star
Don't ever give up, ok?
You're lonely rolling star
Give me a call once in a while
You're lonely rolling star
I want to meet you right away
You're lonely rolling star
Haa, a single sigh escapes

raigetsu mata ano basho de machiawase shiyou ka
-
Shall we meet again next month at that place?

You're lonely rolling star
tachidomaranaide nee
You're lonely rolling star
omoidashi.te yo nee
You're lonely rolling star
matterarenai no nee
You're lonely rolling star
saa mae wo muite yukou
-
You're lonely rolling star
Don't stand in one place, ok?
You're lonely rolling star
Remember me, ok?
You're lonely rolling star
I can't wait for you, ok?
You're lonely rolling star
So, face forward and let's go!

* * *

It's pretty simple, I can set it up and play it by myself using 2 keyboards. But why, why a lonely rolling star?

I miss my sister. It's hard to explain if you don't have a twin. We could look into each other's eyes and tell what the other was feeling. She was the light to my shadow. The mirror to my secrets and dreams. The voice in my head I could trust. And now she's dead and I'm alone... a lonely rolling star.

omoidashi.te yo ne?
matterarenai no ne?
aitai yo ima sugu
-
Remember me, ok?
I can't wait for you, ok?
I want to meet you right away

:(

/wrist

happy holiday

Happy Eid to all my muslim friends. We visited several houses in fine Malaysian tradition, and ate and ate and ate :D I think I gained a kilo -_-"

Been reading a lot recently. Well, technically it would be re-reading, but there isn't really much happening in the places I bookmarked. Generally, when something is done as a hobby and not as a living, updates really take time to appear, heh. Then again, who am I to talk >_>

Came across an old piano tune that I never got around to practising, finally had a go at it in between grinding on 2Moons. I think I'm gonna quit it, it's just another lame grindfest with the additional fatal distinction of not being admined properly - just listen to all the gold farmers advertising their "services" ingame.

I'm not about to waste my time on a pay MMORPG, besides they're not really all that good either, just look at Archlord for example (it was pay2play before Codemasters (the publisher) re-released it as a free2play game with a Cash Shop). Buggy as all get out, and fairly poor latency / movement prediction. I'm in the market for a decent, simple, even browser-based MMO. Oh, I'm still playing DW:SoE, but it's just TOO simple (heh). I never was a great fan of Enix's Dragon Quest franchise anyway (having Toriyama-sensei (of Dr. Slump and Dragon Ball fame) as their art director doesn't help either, I don't like his sty1e).

laughing and crying

It's kinda late, but I just read GaaraDesert333's recent blog post about, well, offing himself. Fortunately he didn't. But still. Dude, you're lucky you have so many friends who responded. Treasure them.

For some reason it reminded me of the guy in that Eminem song, Stan. Sure, people like to laugh at how pathetic he sounds, but when that you live through that kind of sh!t, it's not so funny now is it? Being different, being alone, being laughed at. Feeling lost, isolated, shut out. Malice. Misery. Illness. Suffering. Pain. Despair. Death... Think how poor Ryouga felt, shunned as a freak and a dangerous maniac with a loaded chi attack. Small wonder the Perfect form of the Shi-shi Hokodan takes himself out as well. The kind of misery you need to summon to gather enough heavy chi for that effect, you'd want to die too.

Lately I've noticed that it's way more soothing for me to practise my guitar technique rather than the keyboards (I probably don't need any more piano/keyboard practise anyway, yes I know, I'm so modest :P ). If you're distracted, that kinda rules out the woodwinds, plus it's easier to channel your frustrations through an electric guitar, that's what amps are for... Izumi was kind enough to accompany me on rhythm through Dragonforce's Deathsquad Revolution, and I must say that spiralling through the 5:28 - 6:40 grind is intense enough to take my mind off how badly things have been. How can you not feel anything but exhilarated, running through that at lightspeed, in the middle of a darkened studio with the bay windows closed against the lashing storm outside?

On the flip side, I could be playing Haikei, Akane-san, but like I said, I'm not going down Ryouga's path. Despair is a dangerous itch to keep scratching.

* * *

Another friend recently asked me to check out a couple of other MMORPGs. Archlord was interesting, but suffered from similar control/lag response flaws most 3D MMOs with that aspiring to reality look suffer from. Plus the character stats were auto-allocated. Then I tried out Acclaim's 2Moons... and I have to say, it looks mighty interesting at the moment. Another GameGuard protected game, and from what I read in the forums the mods are pretty active too. Sounds like this one's gonna be a good replacement for FlyFF, for those who can't bear to play older looking games, and still want nice looking MMORPGs.

....and my apologies to those who just dived into the Dragon Warrior Byond game, I'll only be playing it infrequently.

eight bit dreams

It's over, I'm done with FlyFF.

Heh, not that I was really that much into it anyway, it was just another pretty grindfest. Guess what I ditched it for... a Byond game, Dragon Warrior: Shadows of Erdrick (DW:SoE). Yep, you got it right, a 2D tile-based FAN game. I'll still peek into FlyFF from time to time (one of my friends is a graphics hoe and thusly doesn't "get" DW:SoE), but I won't be playing it much.

See, it's got more content than FlyFF, and a bunch of other Korean hacks I could care to name. I wasn't really a big fan of the Dragon Warrior / Dragon Quest franchise, but I did do my time, and I did enjoy them. The thing about DW:SoE though, it's multiplayer :P What could be better than playing with a bunch of like-minded oldschoolers? Nothing, that's what :D

You can pick up the latest Byond client here: http://www.byond.com/ -- make sure to get the version 4-something link there, not the public release version 3.5 (it's already outdated). You'll need to create a (free) Byond account too. The Byond client acts as a launcher of sorts -- it remembers the games you've played, the friends you've made. It's sort of like an IM client, but you don't chat with it, you just use it to see who else is online and to connect to the game servers.

Sure, I admit, fan games are mostly crap (take a look at the, ugh, anime section). But DW:SoE has been in development and polishing for 6 years. 6 years! You don't find that kind of dedication easily. Sure enough, soon as I logged in the game I saw for myself how friendly and close-knit the community is. True, it isn't a very large server (normally 15 players online at any one time), and true, most of them are the long-time players, but there's always a bunch of new people coming and going. Going, because of course this kind of thing doesn't appeal to everyone. They won't capture the graphics hoe crowd, for one.

But there are way many things that DW:SoE offers that many pretty grindfest MMORPGs don't: there's no cheating, botting, hacking, or farming for one thing. That by itself guarantees a level and friendly playing field. No high level snobby elites running around in glowing +10 gear that you as an honest player will never be able to afford. No constant spamming of websites selling virtual money.

There's alchemy, imbueing items, capturing monsters to use as pets (!) too. That's been a big draw for me, ever since I tasted the original Dragon Warrior Online Byond game a couple years back -- although back then the games were new, and servers were often coming and going (which is why I didn't play for long at the time). Now, with a stable server, DW:SoE's turning out to be the fun time-wasting MMO I've been looking for. Sure, it isn't terribly complex (it IS based on the Dragon Warrior / Dragon Quest franchise, after all), but there's still enough content there to make it worth playing.

Here's the link to the DW:SoE launch page (you'll need to have the Byond client installed, and a Byond ID to join though): http://games.byond.com/hub/SoE_Team/DragonWarriorShadowsOfErdrick

My Byond ID is Senrigan, so feel free to add me to your Byond friends list on the Byond client.

Everything else quiet, mostly. This is the muslim fasting month, and in true Malaysianspirit the locals abstain from drinking and eating, only to gorge themselves at the breaking of fast in the evening, if the quantity and quality of the food on display at the special evening markets are any judge :) Seriously... if you don't eat all day, then eat the equivalent of 3 meals in one go at the end, I don't think that's good for you. I've sampled most of the local delicacies over the years, they're pretty good, although it can be dangerous to people with a sweet tooth - there's simply too much to choose from!

My brother is the more level headed one, so I leave the buying of goodies to him. If it were up to me I'd be going on mini-splurges just like the natives, heh. Frosted mini doughnuts, trays of pastries of all shapes and sizes, sweet flavoured fruit juice of various fruits (and all colours of the rainbow, hahah that can't be healthy, lol), kebabs, satay, glutinous rice, ayam percik (spicy roasted chicken, a REAL treat), popiah, apam balik, putu piring, and so much more...

This should be named feasting month instead of the fasting month, heh.

Not much on the music front either. Just been practising a lot lately, it's vexing how easily Shinju and Izumi perfect a particular harmony in half an hour where it takes me half the day... Well, the guitar isn't really my forte, and I really need to stop neglecting my woodwinds, I made three mistakes in one flute section alone :/

Here's the original Present Holiday by Tamao Sato. For our cover version I had to dub the vocals separately. No problems with the instruments, it was a fairly easy piece. Izumi had the honours of cosplaying Asamiya Athena during the recording ~ originally we thought of Princess Athena's original Golden Armor but that was, obviously, too bulky to be playing a guitar in. The trademark Athena red bikini was out too, so in the end she went with the generic schoolgirl uniform, albeit with Athena's fingerless gloves and signature starred hairband.

By the way, if you didn't get the reference, that song is by Asamiya Athena of King of Fighters fame (this is the KoF'96 vocal). Come on, you guys know game music rocks :p

It's back to Byond for meantime though :)

fly for fail

As per today's (Thu 20/09/2007) update, Aeonsoft apparently changed the FlyFF servers to all-PvM, and set aside a new server for PvP (a la version 9). After going through the forums with a finely-toothed comb, I have come to the conclusion that the developers (i.e. Aeonsoft, not Gala-Net) suck.

Apparently they can't mix PvM and PvP like previously (each server had 4 clusters, one of which was PvP). Also, from the clues I put together, the new monster speedup and terrain/obstacle avoidance is the direct reason why they nerfed skills which affected monster speed (sneaker, ice missile, etc). According to the poor GMs who are easy targets for angry players (everyone likes to shoot the messenger) they were told that due to new code they can't mix PvM and PvP anymore (no reason was given for the speed/skill changes but it stands to reason that they were done for the same reason).

Now... programming is hard. Writing a decent game engine is pretty darn complicated. However, FlyFF already had most of the infrastructure in place during v7 though. After the v9 debacle and subsequent fixes, the only changes that stay are mostly bad: pets still suck, speed/skill changes suck, and the dying/exp thing sucked.

Changing the graphics engine would be one of the hardest things to do properly. However, changing how damage is dealt should be pretty damn trivial. See, when you need to draw an object on-screen, there are gazillions of considerations: from the camera angle, is the line of sight obstructed? Partially or wholly? Lighting effects? Frames of animation? Clipping? ... and drawing stuff in 3D uses up loads of power, tons of computations a second. There's a reason your graphic cards are so freaking expensive, require their own actual processor and memory, and get driver updates every other minute (exaggeration). Contrast that with a damage calculation algorithm: base damage * modifiers. Heck, it can even be a single line of code (for simple games).

I'm no hardcore programmer, but even I can see the flaws in Aeonsoft's flimsy excuses. Merely wanting to change, for the sake of change, is not a valid response either. Come to think of it, does anyone else realise there's a spate of grindfest, crap no-story Korean MMOs lately? It's like a whole class of Korean developers recently graduated from MMO school, and now they're all churning cookie-cutter crap grindfests.

I can point to text-based "games" interfaced using TELNET (for God's sake!) that have WAY BETTER content than most of these graphical travesties. For example, Imperian (one of the Iron Realms MUDs), or Materia Magica (use of ANSI colour makes this one look really nice). Player-run factions, player-submitted (and accepted) equipment/skills/events, and THOUSANDS of quests -- don't take my word for it, google up MM's quests, there are several fan pages containing scads of information. And all of this WITHOUT a fancy interface.

These graphical MMORPGs look great, but content-wise they're like stuck in an early-90's 8/16-bit mindset. I feel nothing but derision and contempt for the current crop of Korean grindfests. Why the hell is everybody so freaking preoccupied with "shiny". Hollywood already proved to us time and again, a crap movie with a million-dollar special effects budget is STILL a crap movie. Polish up a turd, and it will still be a turd. Grindfest MMO designers = FAIL.

...on a lighter note, the free-for-all PK'ing has been removed from FlyFF (well, contained to one server only now, i.e. Demian), so it's safe to play again :PIf anyone is still interested in checking FlyFF out, you can find my guild (the Sisters of Shadow) on the server Mushpoie, and we usually log into cluster number 2.

guitarous

Shinju was down with a cold last weekend, so while I was over at her place making soup I messed around a little with her guitars. Our recent bout with speed metal had left me wanting to polish my technique, and who else better to learn from than a maestro. Right Shuu? :P She's sooo modest >__>

Never one to take it easy, I figure Yngwie Malmsteen's Flamenco Diablo should provide plenty of amusement. That piece feels pretty calm and soothing to me, I like how it flows. My fretwork is okay but I'm a little sloppy picking; being lefthanded is a little tricky at times when it comes to instruments designed to be held the other way.

On the gaming front... the latest update, version 9 of FlyFF, has turned out to be a total debacle. I would advise people not to play the game for the time being until GalaNet/Aeonsoft get their collective heads out of their collective arses and revoke this mad global-pk thing. What the hell were they thinking? Or were they not thinking at all? Just because some games are successful PvP games, does not mean other games should blindly follow suit. Do you think giving Mario a chaingun will attract the FPS gamer crowd? Hell no. There's a time and place for everything, and people did not play FlyFF for the rampant playerkilling which pervades (and destroyes) so many other MMOs.

Until they fix this, please avoid playing ANY of GalaNet's GPotato games -- despite the outcry and a currently 74-page complaint thread (and growing by the second), they have NOT deigned to respond. Such a lousy attitude for a company that lives and dies by voluntary player contribution (they are using the Free-to-Play (F2P) model which includes a Cash Shop where players may purchase Premium Content).

flying for fun

Kinda long since the previous update, but I haven't really been playing any new games. In fact I've got a copy of NWN2 lying around waiting to be installed. Other than real-life stuff, my time has mostly been taken up by that F2P (Free to Play) MMORPG, Flyff.

Heh, yeah, I did pan it in my review, but you know what? The uncommonly active policing and lack of hacking REALLY makes up for an enjoyable experience. Unlike in many games, hacks and cheats are practically nonexistent in Flyff. Plus the GMs are responsive, all you need to do is screenshot someone bug abusing/harassing/whatever, and email them, and poof! After they verify your report, that player's account is dropped. Got rid of a few unpleasant people myself, heh. This is one game where it's actually safer to keep quiet. Wait till the idiot accosting you starts swearing, take some screenshots, report, ????, profit. As a bonus, this forces people to act more civilly and avoid quarrelling over stupid crap, like "I was here first!" or whatever.

Think about why most MMOs (especially the free ones) suck: it's the damn community. They're almost always chock full of 2 types of lamers: the passives (botters, farmers) and the actives (griefers, noobs). Without the former, the economy isn't screwed up and it's actually possible to make some ingame money without resorting to buying premium/cash shop items. Without the latter, it's actually possible to meet NICE people, instead of the ever-present beggars, silent unresponsive botters/farmers, or jeering lamers. Not that Flyff doesn't have the latter, they're just a smaller percentage of the population. Overall, this really helps make playing Flyff a lot more bearable, and so I'm still playing it, mainly to see the higher-level set item equipment though. I don't really mind the level grind, it's what you do in most games anyway.

I just started my own guild, mainly for my own amusement though ("Sisters of Shadow"). If anyone out there is at all interested in Flyff, I'm on the Mushpoie server, and I mainly play on cluster #2. Drop me a line through the in-game mail system, send your messages to the character Kyono (spelling and capitalisation does matter). Kyono isn't my main character, nor on my main account, but of course I wouldn't reveal that here :P

Belated edit: I meant spelling and capitalisation of the name of the character you're sending mail to - you can use abbreviations in the actual message body :P Oh, and there's a text size limit, I suspect they used a char(255) database field limit, the lazy buggers.

speed

Wonder why it took us so long to discover Dragonforce, heh. Trucidation recommended this vocalist and he's okay, we did Dragonforce's Through the Fire and the Flames. We had a blast doing this number, I'm seriously thinking of getting us all tickets to watch the genuine article when the time comes.

It wasn't easy reproducing Herman Li and Sam Totman's twin speed metal guitar harmonies; Shinju and Itami really had their work cut out for them. I hear this song's gonna appear on Guitar Heroes 3: Legends of Rock, by the way. Rawsome.

- " Through the Fire and the Flames "/ Dragonforce -

On a cold winter morning, in the time before the light
In flames of death's eternal reign we ride towards the fight
And the darkness is falling down and the times are tough all right
The sound of evil laughter falls around the world tonight

Fighting hard, fighting on for the steel
Through the wastelands evermore
The scattered souls will feel the hell, bodies wasted on the shore

On the blackest plains in hells domain
We watch them as they go
Through fire and pain and once again we know

Tonight we're fly ever free
We're free before the thunderstorm
On towards the wilderness our quest carries on
Far beyond the sundown, far beyond the moonlight
Deep inside our hearts and all our souls

So far away we wait for the day
For the lights all so wasted and gone
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
Through the fire and the flames we carry on

As the red day is dawning
And the lightning cracks the sky
They raise their hands to the heavens above
with resentment in their eyes.
Running back through the mid-morning light
There's a burning in my heart
We're banished from the time in the fallen land
To a light beyond the stars

In your blackest dreams we do believe
Our destiny this time
And endlessly we'll all be free tonight

And on the wings of a dream
So far beyond reality
All alone in desperation
Now the time is gone

Lost inside you'll never find
Lost within my own mind
Day after day this misery must go on

So far away we wait for the day
For the nights all so wasted and gone
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
Through the fire and the flames we carry on

Whoah, whoah, whoooooah, whoah, whoah, whoooooah

Now here we stand with their blood on our hands
We fought so hard now can we understand
I'll break the seal of this curse if i possibly can
For fredom of every man

So far away we wait for the day
For the lives all so wasted and gone
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
Through the fire and the flames we carry on.

================================

Kinda reminds me vaguely of ManOWar after a fashion, heh. Thanks to those who mailed me after the previous blog post; I'm ok, just unsettled. Happens all the time to rootless people. As long as I have my music and my brother, I'm good.

Update: the Youtube video that Dragonforce uploaded: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3H4liC2sWg

if i must

Well, that's some list. I don't know all of you, but, I guess, have a nice life. I'm just feeling tired right now. So tired. I just want to lie down in the snow like Kanzaki Urumi and sleep.

Delicate line between heaven and earth
The calm of the ages, all the world's worth
Such minuscule measure, while we think it so grand
Just five specks of smallness, This soft quiet land.

So frail and so fleeting, in the end you will see
Simple dreams were Horatio's philosophy
For all the truth, all creation, all secrets of yore
Can be told in an instant, by then they're no more.

Ah, the unexplainable, all worries unsettled, heartache unresolved
All questions unanswered, with death, shall be solved
We already teeter, this sheer cliff so high
When we fall to corruption, insecurities die.

To end is to start; to surrender is to know
Despair and depression, together they grow
Hope shall meet the hopeless
When there's nowhere to go.

If I must, I shall. For the moment though, I'll let my fingers play music a little longer. Do you hear me, Mommy? Even though Aufeya and I, we never knew you, you were always close in our hearts. Now sister dearest is with you. And maybe my turn will be soon.

So very... tired. Hold my hand a little longer, brother. I love you. These 27 years, so quickly they go. We should have met sooner, yes? They listen but don't hear. They look but don't see.

* * *

Sorry guys, I'll post something else later. Not in the mood to talk now. Want to sleep. Tv white noise.

hey, you can't do that

"This is a friendly reminder, don't upload mp3s."

Jeez, and I was about to post some of my t3mdc songs too (granted, we do other peoples' stuff, oh well). I guess whoever in charge decided a blanket ban was easier to deal with. Whatever. And here I was, not half an hour after rendering La Soldier and thinking it'd make a great showcase piece here. I practised my part for weeks until I was hoarse, too :|

In any case, you can grab the original here (i'dliketoseethemtrytakingthatdown) - http://www.sailormusic.net/tracks/bonus_singles.html

It's the 1st song in the 1st group of 4 songs ("La Soldier & Sailor War", CODC-227). It's in ogg vorbis format, if your pitiful media player can't handle that, download Audacity (a well-known freeware music utility) and export it as mp3 (you'll need to google the LAME mp3 codec to export in mp3 btw, and that's also a free download).

La Soldier / performed by Moon Lips

これ以上ムリよ 待てないわ
スレスレで 終らせないで
あなたのすべて 欲しい
ふたりをへだてたスライドが
ハラリ 滑り落ちて あとは
露わにされた真珠

まなざしに攻められて
こころが透き通る 芯まで

幾千年 くり返した
恋は神秘の戦いね
あなたからの あいのMoon light
浴びてわたしは 変わってゆく
鮮やかに 秘めやかに La Soldier

もっとこのままで いたいけど
微笑みで変わす別れに
約束はこめないで
また逢える次回が明日でも
二百年後でも同じ
運命が迎えにくる

こころの形 そっと
なぞって 忘れずに 憶えて

めぎりめぐる ロマンの中
恋はいつでも 戦いね
わたしは今愛のLunatic
奇蹟も夢も見せてあげる
果てしなく 麗わしく La Soldier

幾千年 くり返した
恋は神秘の戦いね
あなたからの あいのMoon light
浴びてわたしは 変わってゆく
鮮やかに 秘めやかに La Soldier

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

I've had enough, I can't wait anymore
We're so close... Don't let it end
I want all of you
We are separated by a slide
But after gently sliding downwards
A pearl was revealed to us
From the way you look at me
It's like you can see into my mind, even into my heart

Repeated for thousands of years
Love is a mysterious battle, isn't it?
From you comes the Moonlight of love
I'm showered in it and am transformed
Vividly, secretly, into La Soldier

Continuing like this is painful, but...
The smile that we exchange as we part
Does not include a promise
We may meet again tomorrow...
or in 200 years - it's the same
Our meeting is foreordained
The shape of the heart is secret
It's said to be a riddle - don't forget... remember!

Cycling around again in this romance
Love is always a battle, isn't it?
Right now, I'm a love Lunatic
Miracles and dreams... I'll show them to you
Everlastingly, Beautifully, La Soldier

Repeated for thousands of years
Love is a mysterious battle, isn't it?
From you comes the Moonlight of love
I'm showered in it and am transformed
Vividly, secretly, into La Soldier

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

One of my favourite bits is

まなざしに攻められて
こころが透き通る 芯まで
Struck by that look
My heart becomes transparent to the core

(the synth part at the end of the first line was a nice touch)... What do YOU read into that tone of voice? Mind, I've been (re)re-reading OACDYCSF recently.

Oh, and we do an instrumental version centered around a couple of glockenspiels. Can't gloss over mistakes like you can on a synth.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programme.

When is Sins of a Solar Empire coming out? I can't freaking wait! :D