Well, to put it fast, tuesday was just boring...i watched Shogun with my mom again, but other than that not much happened (I did have a great time watching it!!)... i got to hear my message from master Kirael again...that was cool too, so here goes the transcription: He said something like this: I asked him why everything seemed to be going in slow motion, so he said that before i asked my question he would tell me a bit about him and the medium (Fred); he said they had come here a couple times (not in a physical form) and had been working and doing some "works" down here in south america; the good thing being i was a lightworker, because of that i would not feel the changes to much, but everyone else around me would, so I would be feeling a bit like in slow motion while everyone else "resisted" those beautiful changes and new energies, he said this would take actualy some weeks to fully work out, but insisted it was one of the most beautiful changes or events he had been able to participate in a long time, he also said they had been able to "lit" up all the way from south america to canada, so i was just catching the remnants of what had taken place. One of the things that really took me by surprise was that he said that I was one of the reasons why they were here, so i should feel very proud! So then he asked me if i had a question...after thinking for a few seconds, i insisted that the question was why MY life was going in slow motion...lol...now that i think of it, it must´ve sound kinda repetitive...lol...so he answered that as I got more and more clarity on the things i was learning it would take me a while to get my feet underneath myself again, but insisted that the world needs me so i would have to open up my energies and let the people know who i was and what i was doing, insisting that i neednt do a big scene out of it, saying that i just needed to let my light unfold gently so that the world could know who i am, and so letting more lightworkers join me so that i could really do many of the things (down here) that i had wanted to do...he said that he set the stage (well, himself, the medium and a number of angels...20.000 according to him!)...he also said that many of them where still working on this arena...then came the coolest part, he said that by the way, i should be very careful because about 33 and a 3rd seconds after i hung up the phone, one of the MOST beautiful angels would come with me...he told me to say "hi" to her from his behalf...wow...i was so excited by that, that i couldnt really "see" anything ...but i did feel a presence...that was for sure... wow

So tuesday´s night came and i slept like a baby...and dreamt a lot... here goes...

First i dreamt i was for some strange reason at my college, it was supposed to be college but actually it was the church that is just a few blocks from my grandma´s house, even though the church itsefl wasnt there, there was a normal building which i suppose was the "principal" building from school... what i remember very well is that it was snowing (that NEVER happens here...i´ve hardly been in snow two times in this lifetime and i was about 5) so it was all white and beautiful, and snowing, there was a calm wind blowing, and i wasnt cold at all...as soon as i got into that building (which had some red carpets) I would come across one of the people from there (dont have a clue who that was) and there was also a secretary, i needed to do something about some papers, but the guy couldnt receive for he was receiving a phone call...so i had to wait...while i was waiting i could hear his conversation, he was a bit mad and surprised with whoever was on the other side of the phone, so he started yelling at her saying that she couldnt quit school, not in the last semester, and even worse, she couldnt have another child yet! And so it hit me...it was Shely he was talking to!!! I remember leaping of the couch i was seating at and telling hime to let me have a word with her, that i could convince her...so he handed me his cell phone (just like mine) and so i started talking to her, we were both surpirsed for the strange coincidence that had just taken place, but i cuold feel her a bit "uneasy" about what was going on, i remember walking outside the building and while i was in the snow, talking to her... she would even tell me she wanted to get a divorce from Simon (her husband) and go away with silvia (her daughter) ...i remember that on that instant my thoughts were "that could work, i could use that situation to my advantage somehow getting with her"...and then i thought "maybe she is the one for me, and that is why all this is happening..." suddenly after that i realized that i was to help her out of that situation, not gain from it... so i told her to be calm and think about her life, that she could make it if she wanted to, and then (in a very "dream" fashion) we were suddenly chatting on MSN...i was very happy to find her there, and wanted to chat, but she insisted that she had tons and tons of homework...so i let her do it, and thought she was ok if she was doing homework...although i recall her telling me that it was too difficult and too much , i remember telling her that she could do it, that ot was the LAST thing she had to do before graduating... and so the dream ended...

After that dream i had te STRANGEST dream ever...i dont remember it all very well but what i remember was that i was at kipling school (why do i dream with that place so much?) and Luis, some friends and i were there although we were graduated...they invited me to a classroom but refused to go (it was math class...yuck!) so we skiped it somehow...a while after that i found myself at a kind of apartment (i think it was mine) which by the way was a big mess, there was all sorts of stuff everywhere...and suddenly, God only knows why, i got a hold of my...breasts!?!? i was in shock, i had breasts all of a sudden!! and they were SO real (i was even VERY sensitive!) i was scared out of my wits! i couldnt possibly explain what it felt or how it had happened, and all of a sudden my entire body was changing into a woman´s!!!! (ALL of it...ok?) all but my face...you can pretty much imagine how i felt...i remember noticing that my curtains where open, so blocking my breasts out of the other building´s view with my arm (i remember actually "feeling" them) i closed the curtain and the window with the other arm...then my mom came, and i told her all about it, so as shocked as i was, she would help me do something about it, but before we could find a bra for me, my friends came so i had to put a shirt on just to "hide"...somehow... i remember thinking "oh what the heck, ill just wear my normal clothes and no one will notice" and then all of a sudden i could see how my breasts could not be hid so easily... lol... just WHAT IN BLAZES WAS THAT DREAM ABOUT!?!?!!? man...

The third dream was not as strange as the last one...thank God!...as usual in dreams. i was in a hotel in a beach somewhere in the world... to not make it too long, i was in the swimming pool, and all of a sudden i would notice Alicia was swimming there (the girl i ran into about a week and a half ago), she was wearing a black bikini and looked good (meaning she looked being happy) so a bit surprised she was there i remember trying to scare her or doing something to call her attention, and so i grabbed her ankle as she was swimming and pushed her ...making her hit her nose with the end of the pool, i remember feeling quite bad about making her hit, so i swimmed to were she was and asked her if she was okay, she said she was fine and said hi to me... we were both surprised about each other being there, and i also remember her telling me that she couldnt believe it was the second time i did something like that to her (hitting her...somehow we seemed to have a past or something, and i had hit her before sometime...in "dream memories"...that actually never did happen) so i remember that after that we would both co to the end of the pool and just rest there, holding afloat with our arms on the edge of the pool and watching the horizon (mustve been hawaii because there were some volcanoes in the distance) and as we were chatting about our lifes, one of the volcanoes would start erupting, and i remember it all looked like a cartoon, and suddenly, we were watching "The Simpsons" on the horizon (as if the horizon was a huge tv) and i remember Homer getting hi by lava, and dancing and the falling to the ground all burned (in a comic way), and Alicia and I laughing a lot and having a grand time... i remember thinking at some point or at least remembering she had a boyfriend...but didnt seem to care!...and neither did i!...so as we were watching all that happen, i remember her cuddling by my side and me feeling SO happy...then all of a sudden we were all in the hotel room (apart from us two, my friends were there and we were all lying in bed watching tv) but the "hotel" room was actually my parents room, and we were all lying there in our swiming suits, Alicia and i were lying together in the right end, and little by little she would cuddle more and more by my side, and all of a sudden she was practically "stuck" to me...her leg holding me, her arms around me, her head next to mine...i also remember she was softly touching me all the time in a very loving manner...and then she was giving me little kisses everywhere near her face (so she didnt need to move a lot and no one noticed)...it was a grand moment...i remember thinking again "could she be the one for me?"...and all of a sudden she would whisper to my ear "... tonight i will leave all the doorlocks at my house open...please come" ... i remember i was shocked! (but of course happy about the "imminent" outcome that would be) and i remember visualizing her normal house when she told me that...and thinking..."well, she isnt at the hotel then, she must be renting a house!"...what about that one!!

Well, one thing is for sure...my "nightlife" is getting better than my waking one!!!...lol...we´ll see what else i dream these days...i think that "sleepstate programming" does work...

I wanted to call Shely all day long, but forgot about it...damn...ill call her tomorrow...

On monday 11 some very interesting things happened... first of all, Pablo came a while in the morning and we kept writing that stroy...its turning out to be such an interesting story, so full with detail, characters, lessons te learn... i love it...

Later that day Daniel and Pepe came again and we went to blockbuster to rent the second disc from 24/2..dman, we now want the third one badly!!!! lol...

That night i got connected to master Kirael´s webcast as usual, but decided to call this time...i felt like i needed to talk with him again...i FINALLY got my call thru (about 5 minutes before the program ended, and after messing up my first call that had gotten through, about 10 minutes into the program...lol) and asked him the following...well, rather "said" the following "Dear master Kirael, I´ve noticed and felt that my life is going pretty much on slow motion lately...whats going on?!"... he gave me a VERY long answer involving him having come to all of south america in the last week (in ethereal form) and fixing some things down here, preparing the land for the shift, etc etc... i dont remember everything he said but i DO remember he said I WAS PART of the reason he had come down here, he said I had a very big role in the coming shift in consciousness... i was amazed by that... he then asked me what my question was...lol... so i said..."well, my question is the same thing...why is my life going in slow motion!?" he said many things (i have to hear it again as soon as they upload it) but the principal thing i remember is him telling me that i have to tell the world, or at least the world nearby me, WHO I REALLY AM, he said I had a BIG mission in this... wow... i just hope i can listen to it again soon, then he said something that still has me a bit confused... almost before hanging the phone he asked me to say "hi" to the extremely beautiful angel that was going to contact me 30 seconds after we hang up the phone... you can imagine how i felt... the strange thing was that after we hang the phone, not much happened...Daniel sent me a messenger message...then Gaby...then Mariana... but somehow i fell he was NOT referring to them... so, as time and space do not exist in this diary i extend a warm "hi" and a BIG hug with much love to that angel..hope you can REALLY contact me SOON!!! =)

Later that night i had another strange, vivid dream, involving many things first of all i remember very well that somehow i had a hold of the Star Wars: Episode III DVD, that somehow it had already hit the market and the movie hadnt come to mexico yet...so everyone was very excited about it and i had to see it even though i wasnt very happy about it, i remember some scenes, like the firs one where MAce Windu was boarding a ship and fought some bad guys... it was very blue... i dont remember why... then some scene where he had to chase a ship in his own ship, but the thing suddenly turned into a videogame and you could play it...kinda strange...then another scene involved Anakin facing Darth Vader and cutting him in half (and so turning into the next Vader)...some other parts of the dream involved me using a lightsaber and actually becoming part of the movie...the strange thing came when i was in Sears watching the video playing in a monitor, and then was with some other people, all of a sudden i know i was with Lorena, and we were home (in my house) im sure we were STILL married (from the other dream) and she had some strange homework involving sketching a nude man... so she was asking me to pose for her, cause she needed a guy like me, and obviously we also took it the "fun" kinda way, so i remember we were in our room (somehow it was my sister´s room) and so we closed the door and she showed me another sketch she had done about another nude guy, and told me she didnt like it much so she preferred drawing me, the interesting part was that she only needed to draw from the waist down.... so i started stripping my pants and boxers off... all the while "playing" and enjoying the moment, the interesting thing was that i was wearing the VS Boxers (the ones i havent used since that day) and somehow thought in my dream i hadnt use those since the day we ended the relationship, and what a coincidence it was that i was wearing them that day... i also remember she was impresed with the way i looked (physically)... all in all, she liked me a lot...and i felt so good knowing that... there was a very nice feeling going on all the time... so half naked i was there posing for her and suddenly my mom came to the room so i jumped into the bed covering my lower half...somehow it was her birthday or had been, and my mom and sister where giving her her presents...i dont remember what my mom gave her, but what i remember is that my sister gave her a "Sully" (from Monster´s Inc.) suit, but the thing is that my sis was wearing it all along, and had been there in the room all the time lying with it, and suddenly she popped out of nothing making a growl sound thus scaring Lorena to the couch where she fell down screaming terrorized (as real as she would get scared of many things in real life) and then my sister would take the mask of while Lore was still crying but relieved that it was sharon, and they would give each other a bday hug...

I dont really remember much else... but i think that´s enough for me... the day after i dreamt that the first news of the episode 3 trailer came out... cool... but just that... the other part of the dream hasnt had any "real" outcomes... thank God... i just wish these dreams could have a much clearer meaning...

First came friday the 8th and so it started... another long weekend... first that day I had my Reiki class as usual, and then it got a little slow, that was until later that evening, Eliud came and we went to a party from one of the guys from the radio show... it was raining all night long and it was a very interesting night, full of VERY good looking gals, but as usual, not very "open" or "communicative" at least in a way I could sense or get interested in... although there were a pair of exceptions... I got to see some good old friends there, of which the coolest was Ahmed and his GF Mayra...we left kinda early because we were going to another party that night, one from TEC and to which Paul had invited us... so we headed there, and after getting lost for a while eventually made it there, met with the other guys, and after getting lost again, got there... to our bad luck it was almost over, there were a few people there; it was an exchange-students party, lots of french, german, etc. students...nothing interesting... got home about 4 in the morning...nice outing...needed something like that!!

Saturday was kinda slow, i had lunch here with my parents and had a good time...later that evening I got connected to Master Kirael´s monthly "topic" and watched the webcast, it was really interesting, he talked about the "light streams" and how to use them in our meditation, it was really really interesting... and then later at night Daniel came and then Luis came, we played MAME for a while and had a good time, then Daniel left and Luis and I went to the movies, had a nice chat all along. Im not sure, but i dont think we had ever had a chat like this, we talked about girls, and parties and many things...say, more "mature"... i think its all part of my change in life... we saw "The Manchurian Candidate" it was cool.

Then on Sunday i didnt do much...played viewtiful joe all morning... that evening Daniel and Pepe came and we went to blockbuster and rented the first disc of the second season of "24", what a good series that is!!! we saw the entire disc on one sit... of course we now need to see the second one!!!! We then played MAME for a while... after that they left and i came to the computer and then started trying to get into a "decent" chatroom...and got to the conclussion that at least not too many people are interested in having a "serious" chat anymore...i was up until very late trying to chat with someone, and just couldnt find anyone interested in doing so... quite dissapointing... But life goes on...of course then i couldnt sleep very well that night...

Other than fixing some things up for the radio show at night, i spent much time of the day drawing Elena...i impressed on how much i have improved my skills!!!

I also chatted with Jenny for a while, as nice as always!

Later that day i watched the movie i had rented and turned out to be a REAL good movie! (Avalon, by Mamoru Oshii)

That night we went to the EVA Radio show and even took my sister as a special guest, i think it was the best show we´ve made so far! LOTS of calls, lots of good moments, lots of info! everyone liked it!!! I think we´re finally going on the right track!! (me included!)

That night i had a MOST peculiar dream... i dreamt i got married, but i SWEAR it felt SO real... there were so many feelings involved... id say all of them good!... the strange thing was i got married with whom i suppose was Lorena, but had something "else" to her... it was here, but not quite...she was physically very similar but yet not quite her... my feelings where those of joy, those of happiness, yet there was this strange feeling or at least i knew i was getting pushed by her to get married, i knew she was the one that was "leading" the relationship the way she wanted, and i did nothing about it... yet was happy where i was... it was a very long dream (i suppose days and even weeks transcurred in it) and in one ocasion we went to a ex-kipling students meeting were many old faces poped up (including people i never even talked to during those days!) i remember hugging everyone and being very happy, and i also remember watching my hand and seeing i was wearing my wedding ring, and it gave me such a "fullfilled" feeling... it was really nice and strange, i remember thinking what my friends there would think if they saw me wearing that ring... my wife was there somewhere, but i kept having this "figure" of her as being a very harsh person, yet very loving with me... it was really strange... the in some other moment she would "call my attention" by telling me that it was wrong for me to go hugging and kissing her around all day all time, that it made the situation less interesting that way, and told me she didnt want me to do that all the time...and all of a sudden i would just give her a big happy hug, and she would reply by kissing me so sweetly on the head, telling me that THAT was the way to do it! But also telling me that I should not abuse that... by the way, i THINK we were living in my house while we found another one... what a Vivid dream...what a strange feeling... what are all these dreams trying to tell me!!!!

I hope i REALLY find an answer to all this!

In the morning i delivered one of the short movies we´ve made along with Daniel (Requiem V) to a contest thats been held, its called "Alucine"... i sure hope we win!!

Later that day I called the guy from the "videos" job and he told me he would send me all the information i needed via email... lets see how "serious" he is...

Later that day i got into "anxious" mode... and started getting really desperate, but found some peace buying some ice cream in the ice-cream place in front of the house...i noticed a VERY beautiful girl working in the taylor shop!!!...too bad i think she has a BF... well...whatever...

Later i decided to go and rent a movie...so i went walking and had a REAL nice and quiet time, rented Avalon... then my sister had to copy me (make a portrait) for homework so i couldnt see the movie, but got enough inspiration to start a drawing...i decided to start drawing Elena from Street Fighter III...she came out INCREDIBLY well!!

My day was full of stuff... at least in the morning, i went to my university to the meeting i couldnt go last thursday to... it was OK... the lady was in a defensive posture all the time (and i can understand) but it was kinda useless going there, we came to the point were she told me she wasnt the one responsible for not being able to send more job opportunities involving communication... whatever, the interesting thins was she got me an appointment with someone higher than her (job-wise) and offered me a freelance job... the catch: i had to wait for 2 hours.

Then came the interesting part, after waiting for almost 2 hours and a half...he didnt come... as usual, once again my university proves how, "serious" it can get... so i left my cel phone to his secretary... the good part: i got to see many friends i hadnt seen in a long time!!

Later that day i got a call explaining what they wanted me to do... some 4-5 minute-long videos for the screens they have in the university...sounds cool to me! They told me to call another guy that´s in charge the next day...

#$)=%(& CRAP! i just wrote about 2 hours of my life into this piece of #$%$ of a diary and it all got lost into cyberspace... ill put it short.

From Sept 27 to Oct 3rd my life sucked big time...

On wednesday 29 i had a strange but amazing meeting wit a BEAUTIFUL woman, we made eye to eye contact for about 5 seconds, and ill tell you... there was MAGIC in the air on those moments... the worst part: i know i know her from somewhere, but 5 days later i STILL cant remember from where...those beautiful eyes...wow... maybe it was an angel in disguise... naaaa, she had a BF...but didnt keep her from staring back! lol. I SURE hope destiny puts our paths together again sometime... what an angel...

Thursday crapped as no day has ever before, nothing good happened, my car´s battery went dead, i got stranded for about 3 hours on the street with a friend, never made it to an appointment, got late to the radio show, no one had ANYTHING prepared but me, and on the way out of school i got charged a 100 pesos for leaving after 10:30 (it was 10:34)...so i didnt pay and they kept my IFE...$%=#$% day...lol...on friday i was supposed to go to SLP with som friends and meet over there with a friend i havent seen for about 8 years... so i called her and to my day´s luck she told me that on that particular weekend she would go out to a wedding... so my day ended...

Friday and saturday sucked big time, nothing happened, all i was going to do with anyone got cancelled at some point or another so i was left alone the whole weekend...got lots of time to think about me and life and everything else...also remembered a lot about the angel-girl and met by mere chance with a friend I had not seen since high school, got her my digits and said she was going to call me sometime next week to tell my about a job she might have for me (all the while being pestered by her drunken boyfriend) so i rented some movies and the next day watched Shogun with my mom...

Then came Sunday, we went to have some brakfast at Wings (it was my parents 28th anniversary) and then went to play some Gotcha with Luis and some of his friends, we talked a lot that day, it was cool, he told me about the crappy wekend he himself had had too... damn meteorite tautaris (got past earth on wednesday)..it sure got us all on a BAD weekend... after that we came back, had som dinner with his friends, and the we both went to get a bath and to the movies to see Resident Evil 2...again...lol... then I had some weird dreams involving HOT moments with a friend I havent seen in years (also from the time of Alicia) and then I had the strangest dream involving UFO´s crashing and then telling me i was the only hope MANY people had to survive on New York before the Hydrogen bomb... or something like that...

So that was my last "memorable" week...i just thank that this diary will show that PRETTY soon all my life will change for good...AND that i WILL NOT have to write this down again!

Amen! ;-)

Last week was full of little moments... but nothing more...things are suddenly slowing down again... i guess they´ll start speeding up anytime now... i know they will...the only constant thing last week was that i got together with pablo almost everyday to write the story...its coming up incredibly well!!!

Wednesday had one of those ironic moments life is so full of... my friend Eliud came and we went to the bazar yet again to see if my roms were finally downloaded to my xbox, as usual something happened and couldnt get completed...anyway, we then went to plaza satelite to print some of my sister´s digital photographs, the best thing that day, an astonishingly beautiful lady got the photos, she was really beautiful, not much more to say there, but she really made my day...later we came back to get the photographs and noticed she had a ring...lol... she has a very lucky husband! ;-) While we were waiting for the photographs we decided to take a walk and so we did... obviously we headed to the movie theaters section, were there is the most people on wednesdays... and of course I took a peek at the hot dogs place... and well...obviously she was there! she looked beautiful, she wasnt wearing her "hot dog cap" so her hair was loose, and looked really well! But of course, i was with my friend so i couldnt do anything... later on we played some games back home, and later Daniel, Pepe and Natan came and we had a great time watching Resident Evil on DVD had a great time...

Thursday was a bit more...normal... not much happened, got together with pablo, then Daniel and Pepe came and we finally saw "The Return of the Jedi" on DVD...its soooo cool...i think there will never be a time when those movies bore me or anything even close to that...later on I used some time in the evening to put everything together for the radio program...our second one! when i was finished putting it together i noticed I had still a free hour left... so i decided it was finally time to go and meet Viridiana... and so I did... somehow i had the feeling she would be there, and so she was... i bought a hot dog for i knew i would be hungry after the radio program...the perfect excuse, and so she was there, alone, and i wanted a hot dog...so i came close to the register, got nervous, and asked for my hot dog...the only thing, i was 50 cents short (of course this was premeditated) and now i owe her 50 cents, the perfect excuse to go there again... but i have to be honest, i wasnt very excited about how things turned out that moment with her... maybe it was just me but she was kinda...cold... like she didnt really care much about me being there, so i took it how i felt it, just like master Kirael said...and instead of bringing some bad feeling it kinda brought some peace to me... and so i went to the radio program, had a good time there, we dedicated the program to the star wars dvds... although im not beginning to like very much the situation there... to much time saying nonsense and other things... well have to see how that develops.

On Friday i went to my Reiki II class, then to the bazar and FINALLY got all my roms!!!!! Then later that day Eliud and Daniel came, played a while some roms, and then we went to the movies...it was the first time i had gone to San Mateo since I had come back from Portland on that magical day with Lorena... it still hurts to know all that is gone...i cant really believe it... suddenly time has ceased to exist in my life...its so odd... so yes, it was difficult for me going to that place...very difficult, especially going past her house... but thank God the movie was so good i forgot about it totally...we saw Resident Evil 2: Apocalipse... loved it...helped me a lot...A LOT.

Saturday was such a slow and difficult day...to put it short, the only good thing was that Pablo came and we wrote a lot more to the story...i then went with my parents to Tencha´s house to have some grilled meat...then came back home, put my room in order...and...that was it...went to the Oxxo to buy something to drink and there was a beautiful lady promoting some cigarette company..she was going to ask me if i smoked, but then said she was sure i didnt... and we had a nice mini-conversation, the cashier lady told me the tea i was buying had a promotion so i went and picked another one...when i came back the cigarette lady says "see? we all have promotions here today!, what´s yours?" it was a nice little moment in time... there i was having a crap for a day and there was this beautiful woman asking me if i had a promotion...i was struck...i couldnt say a thing!! then suddenly the cashier lady says "i bet his promotion is that he is going to back here in 15 minutes!" ...u can pretty much imagine my face... lol... so i said goodbye and came back home...later that night i did something i hadnt done in years...i went into a chat room... and apart from the horny lady that wanted to see me naked via web cam, and the couple of 16 year old lesbians (i swear this was a NORMAL chat room) i made a friend that night... as much as a "cyber" friend can be considered...odd...slow...crappy day... i guess there´s a balance in all this...

Sunday was slow too... my life is really slow right now to be honest... i read a new channeling from master Kryon, it was absolutely incerdible...talks about the spiritual winter we are going through right now...made LOTS of sense with my life and how slow its going right now... later I went with Daniel, Pepe, and his sister and Dad to the movies and saw "The Terminal" and saw this beautiful girl (ive noticed as of lately, that the world is filled with beautiful women...its incredible) she saw me, we glanced for a few seconds, and then while she was passing me by I noticed she was this actress from mexican movies (Martha Higareda)... she is a really attractive woman... and seems to be a nice person too... its kinda sad that she has to live with that "actress" status all her life, you could notice how everybody looked at her and how she tried to go "unnoticed"...i wish i could meet her, without being an actress... it was a nice thing...kinda gave a little bit of spice to my day...the movie was incredible, i loved it, it has so many messages in so many levels...after that we accompanied Daniel to the supermarket and then we came to my house and played a while...

This was a very...i dont even know how to call it...my life is like, paralized right now, im going through this strange "winter" that spans my entire existence... the only good thing is that after winter comes spring...i hope winter is almost over...

The following is a compilation of what happened from sept 16th to the 20th...many things happened those days, some good some bad... most very profound...but i didnt get to writing them down for i was really not in the mood and some days I forgot about writing, some other days i wasnt just in the mood... as i said, i lived may emotions this long weekend, so here are the highlights from those days... i think this diary is getting very interesting...

The only memorable thing that happened on the 16th was that apart from being "independence day" here on mexico i did mostly...nothing...lol... later in the evening Daniel came to my house and we went to buy some tickets for a movie called "The Eye"...since it was a holyday we went ahead of time to ensure we would get tickets... and well, also to see if i could get a glimpse of Viridiana... but you can pretty much guess what happened... we then came back and played the good old nintendo on my XBox...cool... later at night we went to watch that movie and were joined there by Luis later on, the movie´s not very good... one more to the list of "x" movies...

Then came friday quite a busy day! In the morning i went to my Reiki II class with Catita, it was cool, I learnt how to meditate better use colors for healing,etc...then came back home and went with my family to Coyoacan to eat some chinese food, we had a real nice time...then almost on our way out i came across one of my favorite teachers in the whole world, she was my kinder teacher when i was 5 years old, she immediately remembered about me!! that was really cool...later that day i went to the bazar with Daniel to give em a dvd to burn my downloaded roms... after that we went to buy tickets for "The Village" since it was sure to be one crowded day at the movies! and in the way there I also got a glimpse of the hot dog place, to see if I could see Viridiana... and once again...nothing...does she even work there? did i just make her up?... we then came back home and played good ol´NES; Double Dragon III, Contra, Punch Out it was so cool...we then went to the movies and saw M.Night Shyamalan´s "The Village", as every movie he has ever made, I loved it!!... after that came the interesting part, since the day after that was Luis´ bday, we went to a nightclub called "Bodo" he, and two friends of his (Ana and Melissa) and had a ...shall we say..."nice" time?... actually I had a pretty bad time in there, i just CANT go to nightclubs anymore, I dont really like dancing (unless i actually "have" someone to dance with...not just randomly), i dont drink, i dont smoke, and all in all i dont like the atmosphere of those places, full of hormone-anxious young kiddos everywhere, trying to score anything that moves anyway possible...i guess im never going back to a nightclub EVER again... the worst part? i dunno why, but Lorena kept coming back to my mind over and over an over... all I had advanced in the past 2 months got back to me in that place... we were the last ones to leave the nightclub...imagine that...it was at 5 in the morning... it suffices to say i didnt have the best of nights (if it can even be considered a night by then...)

On saturday it all started slowly thank God... I played a while in the morning and got bored quite fast so I decided to go... yeah... you know where, to the hot dog place... well i also went to see if there where any cheap tennis shoes somewhere around there... and so I did... and guess what... SHE WAS THERE!...and for the first time in the entire week i was DEFINTIELY not in the mood to go and meet her...it had MUCH to do with my "nightclub" experience and how it had resurfaced some of the "L" memories...and so I left with a smile in my face, knowing that she was there... but did nothing...Later that day there was a huge gathering here, we ate Chilli beans, Daniel came, Luis came, we celebrated his bday, even my cousin Domingo came, and had a great time... later that day we all went to the a Billiard (even my cousin came!) and had a real nice time, played a lot, listened to some great music...nice day, after that we went to have some dinner in a Taco place, and then went to sleep, i REALLY needed sleeping...

Then came a very slow sunday... but a very needed one after all the things that had been happening on that long weekend...basically nothing happened in the morning, went to the bazar to pick my games up and as usual they werent ready yet... so i came back home... the came lunch time and i suggested we eat some fast food to avoid cooking, so next thing you know i was heading to....yeap, the hot dog place...lol... and went there, bought some BK to my mom and got me a burger...guess what? ...she was not there... obviously... man...later inthe evening i read some very interesting things about masterhood from master Kryon and then went to plaza again to buy the shoes i had seen the day before... and so i went and bought them...so...i was there, why not give it a try going to see if she was there... and guess what... she WAS there again! but she seemed very busy counting some money or something, and as I was thinking what to do, my cel phone rang and it was my mom... Daniel was at my place and waiting for me... and so again I left...she never noticed i was there... but i was happy to see her... and so I came back here and watched the best movie ever... "The Empire Strikes Back" on DVD...it was soooo cool...we had a great time...

And so we come to monday...not much happened (why do i always say that?) in the morning, but one thing sure happened and it was that Pablo came and we kept writing the story...it is coming along SO well, i love it...then came the so-so part of the day and not much happened...until later in the evening when i decided i had nothing to do and went to plaza satelite to take a walk...and so i walked and walked until i got to the food court and went by the hot dog place to see if she was there so i could got and make my move...but, as you can pretty much imagine, she wasnt, so i walked and walked more... until i decided to go and seat in the food court and watch the hot dog place for a while, i was there about half an hour just sitting, and she obviously never came...but i thought a lot, and made my mind about calling master Kirael later that evening again...and so the night came and my call to master Kirael again...he was happy to hear from me and said i sounded very happy and well, and told him that about half an hour before calling him, i had gotten a phone call offering me a job and was very happy to anounce him that (that job offer came to me "coincidentaly" thanks to my ex ex gf!!...lol)...he immediately told me it was so nice, but that i shouldnt consider it THE job or anything like that...he said it was just one of many steps...And so came my question, and i questioned him about my current "sentimental" situation, asked him if there was a way for me to move on, or get past my "L" issue or anything like that...i told him i knew i was going through a big change in my life, especially in my heart... and so began his explanation...he told me that he felt i had a great love energy for this female energy (Lorena) and that i had given it with all my love, but that i wasnt anymore, he also said that i should get prepared for there was a big bump coming in my way, which basically was her coming back into my life and trying to get back into it...i was shocked... she is coming back to me?!?! why would that EVER shock me or be of any trouble??... he said there was something else which was going to shock me and cause me great trouble or joy in its time... he said there is another energy coming towards me..an energetic pattern that is VERY close to me and that has been searching for me for a very very long time, he said i should be patient, and in the case Lorena did come back to me, make PRETTY MUCH sure that she was changed, in mind and soul before accepting going back with her and that at least he was hoping i WASNT going back to her for there was this great other person coming to me very soon... TALK ABOUT GETTING ME CONFUSED!!!!!!! It was a great moment... i could feel his energy... wow...

Im still thinking about that...trying not to think and to let go and feel...i dreamt with Lorean yesterday, i dreamt we came back together and it was horrible, we didnt care about each other...more on this when i have more to tell, for now, that is all for this big entry... is it just me or are MANY things happening to me all of a sudden?

Today started as the usual day...not much happened until Pablo came and we got into work... the "game´s" story is coming up rather nicely, there´s been lots of changes, lots of new settings, lots of new parts to the original story...its shaping up rather nicely! My heart tells me we should contiune doing this until finished and then publish it...i dont know...something tells me this could be big someday... and its not my mind... its my heart =)

The day kept going and not much happened... until de evening came... I was here at my home, alone... and started thinking about Viridiana...again... I thought "well, If something interesting comes upwhile randomly picking a page out of a book, I´ll go and try to meet her..." so I went upstairs, picked up my "The lightwarriors manual" book, and randomly picked a page up... to my surprise came a little verse saying that a true warrior of light is very well known for doing senseless things, for taking senseless risks, but for always knowing that in that senselessness comes the satisfaction of knowing that you yourself chose that, and even that if it meant going for a great risk, you still did it... wow... I had no other choice than to go meet her... and so I went...

When i first got there i was as nervous as ever... so i decided going to a store first... and so i did...dont really know what for...and suddenly, it started raining cats and dogs, even the lights went out while I was strawling in that store... and thought...oh well, what the heck! and decided I should go to the Hot Dog place where she works... so as I started walking towards there, I obviously began getting very nervous, but kept going anyway...what the heck! If i was going to do something crazy, so would it be!... so i started going around the place, "casually" watching and trying to find her...but couldnt find her... so i decided to get a little closer, so I bought an icecream and sat more or less nearby to the place... obviously a bit out of sight, but still couldnt get a very good hold of the entire place... so i looked and looked but she wasnt there... so i changed place again... and could get a better hold of the place...still she wasnt there...actually of the three people that were there the first day i went, i could only see one of them... but not her... so i thought "well, i think my little adventure is over ...for today ...must´ve probably been her day off...

Later when I came back home i decided to call Olivia... had been more than a year since I last called her... we chatted for a while, had a nice time...its been almost 9 years since we met!! wow...time sure fly´s by...

Later at night my sister, Eliud and I went to my sis boyfriend party at his house, had a nice time, chatted a lot, met this crazy girl (Mariana) then Luis got there and had a real nice time chatting and all... one of those nicer moments in life... there was a really interesting girl that kept staring at me, over and over... wouldve tried something, but she was with her boyfriend... could never do that to anyone...

Fine day... hope tomorrow´s as interesting...