I've always said that I'd rather get anally raped by a train of wetbacks than return to this site. And that was a year ago. A year of being unable to sit down on a chair. And to make matters worse, my account just poofs back into existence like some kind of time warp. See, maybe if I got plugged in the dickhole, then maybe I'd still be banned. Maybe. But knowing this site and its piss poor management, maybe if I spammed System Wars with gay porn .gifs, they'd probably make me a moderator.

When I first signed up for this site, it was awesome. I've had my share of unforgettable memories, a ton of great friends, at one point had spectacular reviews, and just last year, I went out of my way to firebomb my way to a permanent ban and never looked back. Either Gamespot has officially proven they have no balls, or just that desperate to have users, because I'm not convinced that this site is doing any better than it was since I left.

So, what went wrong? First the reviews started to suck, because all the good ones who could actually write a coherent sentence without whining were long gone! I know for a fact that reviewers all down a 12 inch cock while typing, hence why I can't shake off the scent of words like "amateur" or "crap." I know for a fact, because I once wrote a blog while eating out a girl, and most people thought I was drunk when I published it.

The forums, something I used to love being a part of, ended up being the most bi-polar part of the damn place. Admins couldn't make up their fucking minds between Mickey Mouse and Showgirls, so in the end they said "**** it, let's blend the queers with the scumbags, and let them reproduce." Is it really that hard to tell a whiny little bitch to tough it out, and give a rowdy troll a fucking suspension? Little did I know that Admins were the type to pee sitting down, so to ask them of doing tasks that involve thinking were a little out of their league.

That left me with blogging as my only solace left on this place. Considering that most of my good buddies were so fed up with this place that they were hardly there, my efforts of speaking my mind were reduced to dealing with 13 year old wheelchair retards who haven't yet reached puberty. They most likely haven't commented because they had a hard time typing out a simple word with their dicks. See, I didn't give up blogging, mind you. I just got tired of wasting my fucking time spending hours staring at a computer screen trying to figure out what to write, for a website that would rather give reacharounds to fellow staff members than take the time to improve this site. If me being back in all my pissed off glory is an improvement, then shut this fucking site down. I was more comfortable doing cocaine off my desk than putting up with all of Gamespot's shit, just to get a simple message out.

See, the only thing I'm completely unsure about this site as of now is if I want to hang up the gloves ,or just run around pissing people off on the forums. But really, the way I see it, I won't be doing much damage...hell, I'll just end up fitting in with the rest of the morons. Times have changed; I'm going out more often, getting laid, eating booty, and at the end of the day, want a mature discussion about one of my oldest hobbies on a gaming website between adults. And that's for a website more worthy of my time. Gamespot's more like a pubic toilet you piss in and walk away from, not a website you'd like to settle into and call home.

I was a level 40 user with a clean record, so believe me when I say...when I firebombed my way to going out with a bang, I fucking meant to do it. It's a truly despicable place to be. The first thing I did when I found out my account was active was say hello to a few friends I've known for years...just to catch them in the middle of packing up as well. I mean, I've been losing friends for years because of Gamespot's ass-backwards innovations, I was just the only one crazy enough to say goodbye to this site with a middle finger. So I come back now, and it's truly disgusting to see that as bad as this site has degraded, I still manage to be one of the more tame of users nowdays.

So to be quite honest, Gamespot has given me the luxury of something I never asked for. If you really think I treasure the opportunity, go drink a 2 liter of Sprite through your ass. To start off with fond memories a minute to wanting to get the **** out of Dodge...I have ex-girlfriends for these kinds of moments. I think it's laughably pitiful that in the end, this site is crawling back to me, because I'm pretty sure that even Gamespot knows that Gamespot sucks. Without assholes like me running wild, this place would have no class whatsoever. Because even though my mind is as dirty as my fucking dick, every insult I throw around has truth to it. I don't sugar coat bullshit like the Admins do. So, don't think of this final blog as my goodbye, because it was said a year ago. Think of this blog as me taking my last shit on Gamespot's doorstep.

TL;DR: I'd rather give birth out of my anus and breastfeed the abomination with my dick than be a productive member of this website.

A guy got arrested for sexual misconduct with his child. People then called him Mr. Dickinson.

Chuck Norris once ripped his jeans when he zipped up a ball :cool:.

Here stands an old man, in front of a bathroom stall

Whom in a hurry, accidentally zipped up a ball

He tugged and tugged, and looked with a frown

He was pulling up, when it should have been down.

Two cannibals are eating a body. First cannibal says to the other, "enjoying the meal?" Second guy says, "having a ball."

So, I've made a self-discipline wager; from September to October, I'll try to save as much cash as I can without spending money on useless s***, and not going to the bar...for a whole month. I started a week early just to get any withdrawls out of the way (the week before, I went on a 4 day drinking binge to get it out of my system :P). Aside from picking up Guild Wars 2 (which should tide me over for a long time) and a new adapter (which my old one conveniently crapped out on me), I'd say I did pretty good. Then again, September hasn't exactly started yet :lol:. Anyway, I know I'll be missing out on some great upcoming movies (a part of me died inside when I held the DVD set of Boardwalk Empire season 2, then placed it back on the shelf :() and a few games releasing pretty soon (goodbye Borderlands 2 and Dead or Alive 5 :cry:.). Honestly though, I've calculated how much I'd save if I just spent money on essentials, and didn't cave in to wreckless spending. I'll save close to a grand :shock:.

Which...well, by the time October comes, I'll have a lot of money to fall back on in case I decide to spend more time at this bar that's just so conveniently close to where I live now. Anyway, hopefully I can pull it off...not so much about saving money (which I hardly value anyway :P) but more about the discipline. If I have the willpower to last this whole month and save that amount of money in my target goal...my reward is getting so s***-faced on October 1st :cool:. It will be the celebration of celebrations, and one that I've rightfully earned.

Since this site's on a roll raising their pitchforks and torches about this store, I shall tell you an experience of my own. See, similar to bars/nightclubs/raunchy hostess bars, I too have seen situations that make me giggle inside...so you got the hot broad cashier who pretends she knows a little about gaming to appeal to the nerds...and what do you know, akin to handing out your phone number to dorks so you'll make them loyal customers, she'd hand out her PSN/XBL name on a slip of paper :lol:. I mean, what you gonna do, take her to dinner on Playstation Home? :lol:

But, hey...here's something that isn't quite so funny: how much they care about you :|. Seeing as how I've gone to Gamestop enough times to know employees by name, they pretty much know why I've come here, because I already know what the f*** I want, and I've made it clear for years that I don't pick anything up that I don't plan to. Needless to say, these flirtatious, engaging conversations and the handing of Gamertags could never quite make it my way :(. In fact, I spend a total of 2 minutes at the store buying something, then these gorgeous broads just disappear...smiling at the next sucker who's pants gets super tight and will cave in and plow through a couple hundred. You know, like having a real girlfriend :P.

Funny thing is, me being a PC gamer is basically me being a black sheep at my local Gamestop. While I also do own a PS3 and waiting for games to come out in the next few months, I also never trade-in my games, nor do I ever buy some petty pre-owned one. Hell, I find it kind of alarming that Gamestop employees look at me like I'm nuts when I say I like to keep my games. That's right, it's all in the norm to sell a $60 game for $15 a few months later, but kind of weird that I like to...you know, put it on a shelf, look at it from time to time, and say "oh yeah! That's a keeper!" Because, honestly, I've been single for well over 4 years already. That PS3 game case with Lara Croft on the cover is the only window to sanity I have left in this world :(

Of course, that's assuming that Gamestop employees even play games whatsoever. I remember the time I decided to chat with one of the homeboys...same guy I bought Halo Reach from. He tells me if I enjoyed the game, because he's on it every night. I'm like, "oh yeah? Remember the part where you slide over a wall and dropkick the final boss on a bed of spikes?" And he says, "yeah, that was awesome! Best ending ever!" I think a part of me died that day :|. See, I've noticed that unless the game is advertised on a big ass bulletin board in the store, they know absolutely jack s*** about anything else. God forbid I pre-order a game, something Gamestop employees have an unhealthy obsession with, the ONLY time I ever get the honor to talk to a female employee...god f***ing forbid I pre-order a game that's so niche, they don't even bother ordering a single copy, so when I pick it up on release day, they have no f***ing clue what I'm talking about. In other words, I have to keep it simple. I have to make sure I reserve a game that had a billion dollar budget, guaranteed to sell out on opening night, and has a brand name. Or else, I'll never be able to buy a single retail game ever again! :roll:.

No, but seriously. Gamestop employees hate PC gamers. Considering that PC games can't exactly be milked with trade-ins, they're basically a one-time-use-only kind of sale. Also, any mention of me purchasing a game off Steam has an employee giving me that "I'm a kill you, motha f***a!" Samuel L. Jackson stare. Which I can't put the blame entirely on the employees themselves. See, the longer you work at Gamestop, the more it eats away at your soul. Kind of like guilt, but the very essence of walking into a Gamestop is like walking into the house from the Grudge. You just feel a sudden rush of dread surrounding you. See, a few months ago, there was this nerd-gorgeous employee. I had the time of my life flirting with her, because...well, nerds love sexy manly men like me who play videogames :cool:. So after a few weeks, we got to be homeboys, and I'd chat with her well after buying something...well, something was off. Like she too, had her soul claimed by evil. I noticed an elderly woman who looked like Mr. Burns was hovering over her shoulders. Yep, manager. With one icy touch on the cashier's shoulders, she blew me off, and focused her attention to the bozo behind me. And with that icy glare of Mrs. Mr. Burns, I got the f*** out. Seriously, I was half expecting a friggin' asian kid to start meowing at me on my way out the store.

It's a tragedy, because I was thinking of working there partime as well. I love videogames, and what better way to show that love than to expand your knowledge to unkowning people who just want to kick back and enjoy a good game? Well, that was after I decided to see what all the buzz was about when people were saying Gamestop was one of the worst places to work for. I'm not kidding you, reading comments is like listening to war stories from Vietnam. Kind of makes me want to run to Gamestop with a canteen of holy water and a cross, do a slow-motion action dive through the doors, rescue the nerd-gorgeous employee from this opression, and see black smoke in the shape of arms reaching out of the doorway for me as we leave on horseback. Now, I'm not saying I won't shop at a Gamestop ever again...I'm just saying next game I pick up, I'm bringing a priest with me.

For whatever reason that Blizzard decided, my Diablo 3 account got banned :|. After reading the e-mail about a dozen times, checking my account on the site, they weren't bulls***ting me. Basically, the reason for being banned was for cheating :lol:. You know, the e-mail actually doesn't make it quite clear what my offense was. It went on and on about hacking, bots, spamming...you know, stuff that I don't do in games.

Now, the funny part is that I haven't even touched the game in over two months. So when I got the e-mail, I thought my account was closed for no activity. I mean, seriously...I have no offenses on Steam or Origin, so I know that I don't secretly have some kind of program installed on my computer. See, I'm pretty sure my account got hacked. Hell, it's well-known that Diablo 3 had its share of hacks not too long ago. And, typical corporate response; ban the player who didn't even f***ing know about it :roll:. Now, I sent in a ticked detailing my issue, but we all know how it is: they're eager to take your money, but drag their asses when it comes to a time like this.

Seriously though, I'm 100% confident that some bozo from Korea did this to me. So for the off chance that Blizzard overlooks my complaint and denies my request, I sincerely hope that $60 I wasted on this game is enough for that kid's ticket to hell :|.

What can I say, it's been a pretty crazy couple of months...almost finished moving to my new house, and having to deal with rules (which is new to me :lol:.). I decided to move back with my mom, and now I can't smoke in the house, can't drink anymore (well, I can still hit up the bar, but I can't crack a few open here :() and have to take out the trash...as opposed to my usual "mound trash bags evenly, and invent the plastic couch" routine (which...as gross as it sounds, it's extremely comfortable :lol:.).

As for why I'm moving, it's pretty much a handful of things...I pretty much hated my neighborhood as it is, so it's already a no-brainer. That, and I guess friends and family were worried about me getting shot in the back of the head on my way home :P. But hey, now I'm closer to my friends, work, and a few relatives as well, so there's that...I just can't smoke in the house anymore. Still, I finally had my desktop setup, so I'll be a little more active from now on. Still need to move the furniture back in (which I can't wait for...really getting tired of using my clothes table as a computer desk, and the constant balancing act of having a stack of books as a chair...not to mention, you really...really don't want to know what I'm using as a bed :P).

Anyway, I apologize for the abrupt ninja manuever I pulled (you should know that if I have my account as invisible, I'll be gone for a while :P) but hey, I'm back :D.

While I'll forever stand by my thought that the PS3 and Vita are arguably the best console and handheld, they've also had their share of goof-ups that no one's forgetting anytime soon. Announcing a $600 price tag with a smile on their faces? E3 announcements that felt more like stand up comedies than actual videogame news? Announcing the PSP Go, the handheld that a total of 12 people bought? The infamous hack that left PSN down for months, and had people worried about their credit history? (which I didn't give a f***, honestly...I mean, hell. Go ahead and take the $40 I have left in my account :|) Could it be the once be all, end all machine had features taken out that left loyal fans feeling sour?

No, the one thing that made me fall off my chair laughing was the announcement of Playstation Move. For the record, I'm not offended by blatant rip-offs, okay? I find it kind of flattering, not to mention that it had potential to give me what I'll be missing out not owning a Wii. Okay, seeing the Move for the first time reminds me of a moment where I'm standing in line, checking out the long, slender legs of the person in front of me, eyes completely glued to that nice plump ass...then when the creature turns around, you see the five o' clock shadow, Adam's apple, and heavy muscle tone...yeah, I was basically having impure fantasies about a dude wearing tight jeans :|. Just the thought that Move actually reminded me of a memory I've spent weeks drinking heavily to forget, then suddenly remember in a split second is why I hate it for life :|. So, you got the Wii controller, spray paint it black, add some Playstation buttons to it, then go to a Circus, kick a clown's ass and steal his nose as a victory trophy, and stick it on top of this thing. So yeah...even if someone had an interest in Playstation motion control, people who fear clowns now have two things to hate (and when it starts glowing different colors, they'll start thinking about satanic clowns that'll break down your door, engulf you in cotton candy, board you on their ship and stick straws in it to drink your life essence.).

Off the record, maybe there was a point that I wanted to try it out for myself. I mean, somehow, despite my bias for this thing, I had a secret crush on it (the Move controller mind you, not the guy standing in line :oops:.). So, after seeing a gorgeous blonde play some tennis on the display, I'm f***in' sold! I may even wear a bra stuffed with paper so I can have the same physics as well. So, I'm mere seconds away from picking it up and paying for it, until I see that it requires the PS Eye to function. At this point, I'm dumbfounded. I mean, the Move bundle isn't exactly cheap, and now I'm expected to buy even more crap for this thing? Much less another gimmick I hated from Sony since the PS2 days? You're telling me I need a webcam just to play what the Wii pulls off effortlessly? :lol: Granted, the Wii needed a sensor bar for it to actually work, which makes sense...needing a freaking mockery of technology doesn't.

Some are free to debunk my bias for it by stating that the PS Eye allows the Move to function better than the Wii controller, which is true. I'm still going to pull down my pants and take pictures of my ass with it, though. Worse, Sony hasn't even attempted to appeal to people like me with the thing. Let's assume that the Sharpshooter attachment would slightly pique my interest...I love the Reisistance series as well, and I'd be stoked to play it differently. Well, my friends, that is a moment that I never want to see posted on Youtube, because I tend to get carried away. If you ever saw me play at the arcades, you will agree with me on this one...sometimes I tend to get sucked into the game, and by that point I lose all sense of reality. See, I don't want to die in the virtual world, for fear that my body cannot live without the mind. So I take drastic measures. Sometimes I'll surrender and beg for my life in a crowded room of people staring at me like I'm on drugs. Sometimes I'll grab the poor soul next to me and use him as a human shield. At its worst, I'll be playing a driving game, and when I see I won't make the turn, I'll do a Chow Yun Fat dive right out of the seat. Some people see the Game Over screen as more quarters to pop in...I see it as pleading for a second chance with the Grim Reaper.

So, my Rambo fan fiction is out of the question...that, and I'm not the steriod type either. According to my ex-girlfriends, my balls are small enough as it is :?. So, let's talk about games that you just cannot possibly experience without a Move bundle! *crickets* Let's see, there's archery, sword swinging, and Harry Potter spell casting. Games I already play at a urinal. Get me drunk enough, and I'll do the Zorro, I'm not kidding. I've got the black eyes to prove that I've done it on people's shirts as well :cool:. I won't lie that waving a magical wand that shoots out fireballs is kind of cool, but I've already done that as well...I mean, having an STD will cause your wand to spit fire as well, but at least that gave me proud memories of earning this magnificent power. Let's also not forget that there's almost no support for this thing. It's like someone at Sony came to work stoned, mistook the janitor's closet for the fridge, and tried to build a sandwich out of tools. Worse, he also made a blueprint out of it, and the executives saw this picture of a 3 foot sandwich, and decided to build a motion controller out of it. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I've gotten stoned and eaten my share of buttons that I thought were M&M's a lot of times.

Seriously though, you can't just make something, then pretend you didn't. Reminds me of when my dog poops on the floor, then gives me that innocent look. I'm drunk as well, mind you, so it's f***ing with my mind, and I'm starting to wonder if I was the one who did it. No, even craptacular ideas have some sort of following to it. I mean, you put games on an iPhone, and people will start to think they're gamers. If Apple can pull it off, then hell. I don't see how hard it is for Sony to do it. Then again, it's a well-known fact that Sony sucks at advertising. Kinect sold millions, and there isn't a damn thing worth boasting about for it. Microsoft's first ad for Kinect, and I kid you not, was a poster of Bill Gates in Uncle Sam's clothes, pointing a stern finger with the title, "I Want YOU...To Be The Controller." And I'm like, "hey, you can press my buttons anytime, sweetie :oops:." But to make Kinect appear just a little bit more manly, they chose to chuck $500 million away. Oh, and Oprah...see, she's basically the mafia of daytime television, so nobody says no to Oprah :|. I'll give Sony some respect on the fact that they refuse to become sellouts just to sell a product, but come on, man! Even Nirvana had a cult following.

Okay, to be a little more serious this time, Sony was always known for the console manufacterer to take risks. I mean, they weren't always original, but they did innovate a hell of a lot of things. I mean, a lot of the games I play today were either titles that were on old Playstation systems, or by developers who made games for it. Who made us throw our DVD players out the window when the PS2 launched? Who had the cheapest Blu-Ray player at the time? Who could take worn out concepts on tired genres and make them feel fresh again? Yeah...and now they're known for having the worst gimmicks that nobody wanted. I mean, it's understandable that hipsters like me won't touch it, but when it's known as a total failure, well...that's pretty embarassing.