http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1379182/

I have watched many messed up films in my life. I watched the horrific rape, and violence in Man Bites dog. I saw the painfully awkward pedophile dad scenes in Happiness, so when it comes to dark comedy I have seen pretty much the best of the darkest. I was not expecting this. Nothing could have prepared me for how twisted, and sick this film is in a delightful way. Dogtooth is a about a family where the father hides his children from the outside world. They have never seen anything beyond the fence, and the dad tells the the way the world works in ways that are very weird. For example he tells them that the word "Zombie" is a yellow flower. The children are also trained to be obediant. They are told to get on all fours and act like dogs, and to them this is natural. They are also told that planes that fly overhead fall to the ground as the toys they are given, and that the only way they can go outside the house is when their dog tooth falls out. The only non family member they know is Christian who works for the same company the dad works for.

She comes to the house to satisfy the son's sexual urges. When he can't do it one day she tries to seduce the eldest daughter. After doing this she tries it again later, but the eldest daughter will only do it if she gets the copies of "Jaws" and "Rocky" from Christina's bag. When the dad finds out about this he beats the eldest with the tapes, and then beats Christina for giving them to her. Things get even weirder from here when the dad decides to keep anything sexual within the family. I won't spoil what this means, but you can pretty much guess. I will not go into the plot anymore because you have to see it for yourself. It is probably the best dark comedy I have seen in years. However I almost feel weird calling it a comedy. It is very bleak, and twisted, but trying to describe it to someone would be impossible.

The way the children speak like they are in a trance most of the time, and the disturbing sexual parts are really tough to talk about in public. To me anything can be funny in the right context, but how are we supposed to know what the right context for anything is? Of course you probably shouldn't tell a rape joke to someone who was actually raped, but sometimes it's not as easy as that. We don't know what will offend some people because comedy is so personal. With drama we can all say that Schindler's list is dramatic, but we don't all think some films are funny. There is probably someone out there who finds knock knock jokes, and jokes about badgers offensive. Just like there are many people who find dead baby jokes offensive. I have a very dark sense of humor, but I hide it most of the time because the people I know would be very creeped out by it.

What makes this film great is that the dark comedy is unlike anything else I have seen. It has the weirdness of other fllms, but I kind of felt emotionally disconnected to everything in it. I felt bad for the kids, but since the film takes place in such a strange world I felt like I was not part of it. To me that is a good thing. Most of the time it wouldn't be, but it just makes this film more fascinating. Some people will see this as a dark comedy satire about various aspects of life, and growing up, and many will think it is a drama. The comedy comes from how foreign, and strange their world is.

We don't understand it, yet it is oddly comedic in it's obsurdity. We live in a world where we get so used to our own individual surroundings that we can't imagine being trapped anywhere. We have a whole world to explore, but these kids don't. To them the world is a scary place, and home is safe. It may be a strange life to live, but it's what they are used to. They probably don't like it, but they don't know any other way to live. I am so glad I found out about this film because it is by far one of the best I have seen in years. I highly recommend it. I don't see how any film in 2010 is going to top it.

I give it a 10 out of 10.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1155076/

I have to admit I was looking forward to this film. While I do like the original film, I also think it is a very cheesy film that has potential as a remake. That is why I found this film so dissapointing. I love the idea of Jackie Chan playing Pat Mortia's role, but sadly he is one of the few good things about this film. One of the first big problems with this film is Jaden Smith. I have never been impressed by him in the past. Hell he was terrible in The Day the Earth stood still, and only tolerable in The Pursuit of Happyness. However I was curious to see how he did in this film. Unfortunately he is mediocre at best.

Maybe it's just me, but I think it was a terrible idea to make the main character in this 11. I'm not talking as a fan of the original, I just don't find 11 year olds compelling most of the time. There are very few child actors who have impressed me in the past. Most of them play side roles so their characters are pretty minimal for good reason. Some like Jena Malone, Natalie Portman, Jodie Foster, and Anna Paquin are natural actors even as kids. They have charisma, and are compelling to watch. Jaden Smith lacks something as an actor. I find the delivery of his lines very dull, almost like he is reading them off the script as he talks. When he tries to act tough he just ends up sound comical.

Maybe he will evolve as an actor later on, but right now he is nothing special. If he had some chemistry with Jackie Chan I wouldn't mind his acting as much, but he doesn't even have that. Thankfully though Jackie Chan makes the film a lot more watchable. If the 11 year old change was bad I was really hoping that this film wouldn't have a romance part. Sadly it does and it was really cheesy, and poorly done. Kids have crushes at that age, but having a romantic interest in this film just seems weird, and unnecassary.

The original film was cheesy, but it had some basic understanding of martial arts and how it isn't just about fighting people who get in your way. In this film Jackie Chan seems to just teach Jaden Smith how to win a fight. Even though I have been very critical of this film so far I will say that I liked the China setting. The way the country was portrayed was slightly cartoonish but I can forgive that. Overall I would say this is not a good film. If you want to waste some time I guess you could see this, and you should form your own opinion of it but I personally thought it was mediocre. Shame too since I was looking forward to it. While it isn't as bad of a remake as the recent Death at a funeral, it is still very disappointing.

I give it a 4 out of 10.

The movie of the week this time is WATERSHIP DOWN!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078480/

I remember growing up watching this film, and to this day it freaks me out. If you didn't know any better you would probably think this is a happy kid's film about cute rabbits having a lovely adventure. Well it is that kind of, but it is also a very brutal film about death with some fairly complex spiritual metaphors that most kids probably don't get. These rabbits have hopes, and dreams of living a better life, and sadly many of them go through some pretty horrific violence. Art Garfunkle composed a song for the film called "Bright Eyes" that is absolutely beautiful. I highly recommend this to anyone who wants to see one of the best animated films ever. I don't know if it is really for kids since it can be very bloody, and the plot tends to drag a bit at times but I grew up watching it so it can't be that bad. You should also read the book by Richard Adams.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1017460/

I respect Vincenzo Natali. The guy has tons of potential but every time I see his films there is a point where they have a major flaw that drags them down. Whether it's the painfully cheesy acting in Cube, the monotonous parts of Nothing, or how Cypher get's distracted by it's own cleverness and has mostly boring characters. I really wanted to love Splice. It has a somewhat plausible and interesting plot, a good cast, and special effects, but like his other films there is a point where the film loses it's potential. I will get to that later though. In Splice, Adrian Brody, and Sarah Polley are lab partners Elsa, and Clive. They are trying to create a hybrid animal gene but the corporate they work for has spent enough money funding their project and want to get it done quickly. Of course Elsa rebels and slips some human DNA into the project which surprisingly creates a weird creature that grows at a rapid rate. She names the creature Dren and she and Clive pretty much become the thing's parents. The first problem with this film is that I never really felt the chemistry between Elsa, and Clive that would have made the film more compelling.

The parts that show Dren growing and learning are by far the best parts of the film. Dren is creepy, but loveable. It spells out words on a scrabble board and appears to be getting smarter, and more advanced by the day. At first Clive wants to terminate the experiment but Elsa refuses and decides to raise it as a child even though she didn't appear to have much of an interest in children before. Even though she appears to love the delightful little Dren they lock it in a barn. Because where else right? They know that they must keep this creature a secret from the world. Despite the scenes of Dren growing up I never really identified with it. The film focuses on the problems of Clive, and Elsa instead which while interesting I would have liked to find out more about Dren.

She makes odd sounds that seem to communicate with people, but it just feels like a strange animal rather than a creature I can feel sorry for. Instead of making Dren into a character with depth they make it oddly adorable, and human like which seems to be the default choice of creature design these days. We don't need a creature with depth, all we need apparently is a weird thing with wide set eyes that makes cute sounds.Dren also have wings, a tail, and sloth like fingers that make it look like the director couldn't decided on what the thing should look like and just threw a bunch of random animal designs together.

This film is an interesting mix of overdone ethical, and moral themes, mixed with the idea of whether we can identify with a creature that was created in a lab. The ideas are fine, but they have been done so many times before in better films like The Fly that I found it tough to identify with Dren. The minor characters are mostly generic caricatures that are mostly filler, but they play their roles well enough. Now lets get to the part that annoys me. The film gets to a point where the main characters make stupid enough decisions to move the plot to a point that really didn't work. I won't spoil it, but I will say that it goes from being an interesting sci fi story into a generic and cliche hollywood creature flick.

The different forms that Dren takes later are pretty ridiculous, and the film can't decide whether it wants to be a campy horror film like Slither or one with actual heart. It pretty much turns into Species later on when the film gets even weirder with themes of incest, and beastiality. The character motivations totally change in a way that felt random and purely to shock. Sadly I can't think of a way the film could have went plot wise that would have made it better. The ridiculous twist works despite how silly it is, but I can't help thinking that there could have been a better way to end it that doesn't have the weird sexual parts. Even though Splice is a very flawed film I still recommend it. I can't think of another film like it this year so it gets points for being kind of original.

Overall I give it a 6.5 out of 10.

The album of the week this time is...

THE MAGNETIC FIELDS- 69 LOVE SONGS.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L85cillM6ME&feature=related

I have been a fan of the Magnetic fields for years. Ever since their early lo fi and indie days in the 90's to their more synth based songs. The first thing that makes them stand out to me is the lead singer Stephen Merritt. Most indie bands these days have singers with annoying high pitched voices that get on my nerves after a while. Merritt has a very bass-baritone voice that makes him more distinct than most singers.

He reminds me of Lou reed a bit. 69 Love songs is a very ambitious album. It isn't a concept album with tracks that connect to make a story. It is just simply 69 songs about love, and all aspects of it including lust, loss, and innosense. If you like bands like The Velvet Underground, or The National then you should check out this band. A few songs from the album like "Punk Love" are a bit gimmicky and hit and miss, but overall this is a surprisingly consistant album. I highly recommend it.

The film of the week this time is LITTLE OTIK.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0228687/

This is a very weird film. Not weird in a quirky Tim Burton, or Terry Gilliam way. More weird in a disturbing mind rape kind of way. This film is about a woman who is so sad about not being able to have a baby, so her husband digs up a tree root and shapes it to look a bit like a baby. The woman not only loves this new tree baby but she tries to protect it as much as she can. Then the crazyness starts when the tree baby comes alive and needs to eat so logically it starts eating people, a cat, and hair.

This film is very similar to the campy B movie It's Alive, but Little Otik is much more surreal and it is based on an old fairy tale. There are a lot of close ups of people eating for no apparent reason, and a creepy pedophile who stares at the bum of an 8 year old girl. The film mixes stop motion animation and live action to make the strange tree baby. I will probably have nightmares about that damn tree baby now. I highly recommend this film if you want to have your brain smacked by a ferret covered in strawberry jam.

I was filming a short with a few friends last night. It was just a silly zombie film for a class and we had 5 people in full zombie makeup, blood, pale face and everything else. It was about 10 at night and we were filming near a truck stop next to a freeway and suddenly a guy drove past and one of the zombie guys lunged for the car as it went past and the other zombies started chasing the director which made the car speed away. Oh I forgot to mention that we had a bunch of fake limbs lying on the road, and some fake blood covering our zombies. A few minutes later 2 cop cars drove up and we had to explain what we were doing.

Worse part is our main actor was wearing a huge trenchcoat and all he did was stand at a distance and stare at the cops with a creepy grin on his face as they were talking to us. It was okay though, all the cops said was that we needed to get a filming permit and that if we filmed here much longer they would have to escort us away from the area. After that they drove off and naturally the director ignored the cop's advice and kept filming. After a while I was standing guard to make sure no cars came down the road we were filming on when I saw another cop. I yelled to the guys that we had to go and they threw the equipment in the cars we brought and drove off before the cop could catch us. Good times indeed.

The album of the week this time is...

NICK CAVE AND THE BAD SEEDS- LET LOVE IN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6QwJUBCXu0

This is one of the most depressing albums I have ever heard. Nick Cave has always been one of my favorite songwriters, ever since I was a fetus. His lyrics don't sugar coat anything. They can have a sense of dark comedy to them, but for the most part this album is just brutal and bleak. The album is a story of love and heartbreak that no other album has ever done as well. If you want to listen to some cheery music to brighten your day then please don't listen to this or you will just be sad for a long time. Still though this is a brilliant album that I highly recommend. Pretty much anything Nick Cave does is worth listening to but this is easily his best album.

Thanks to you I am addicted to 30 Rock, and I enjoyed Mean Girls, Date Night, and Baby Mama. How dare you do this to me. My manliness is at stake:cry:

The film of the week this time is TO LIVE AND DIE IN L.A!

This is one of William Friedkin's best and most underrated films. It came out at a time when everyone wanted to see goofy buddy cop movies. From what I understand this was even advertised as one too which is a shame because it is the exact opposite of that. What makes it so different from other cop films is the main character is very unlikeable. He does some good things but he also abuses his girlfriend and is very violent with suspects.

The story is a simple one about a secret service agent who will do anything to avenge the death of his partner. The plot is failry simple and a bit cliche but the way it plays out is not. Every character is flawed, and the story takes several twists that you wouldn't expect including an ending that for the time was quite shocking. Wilem Dafoe plays the villain Rick Masters, and like most of his roles he plays it very well. If you want to see a fantastic cop thriller with one of the best chase scenes in film history and some great atmosphere and characters then you need to see this.