Bwahahaha... yeah, I know. Not funny at all. At least I didn't go with "Mass Erection."

I try to ignore most of the major hype for new games (I fail at ignoring it, but I try). Usually, I put aside purchasing new games because

I have a large pile of shame that I need to attend to first
game prices drop after some time

But from time to time, a new game is heralded with so much critical praise and hype, that I feel I must buy it immediately. Such was the case with Mass Effect.

While I've owned this game for several months, I didn't make time for it until this past week. BIG MISTAKE.

This game wtfprawns.


I'm big on story and dialogue, BIG. So the fact that this game is all about story and spoken dialogue (as opposed to reading a novel on a computer screen - ugh), with a more complex system of conversation choices than normal, is giving me a nerdgasm every time I play.

The combat: awesome. The controls took some getting used to (I'm pissed that remapping the buttons on my Xbox 360 controller isn't a standardized option in games), but once I figured them out... whoa.

The character art and design: beautiful.

I'm also happy that this game is coming out for the PC soon. Granted, I've already purchased it for my Xbox 360, but the more people that play this gem, the better.

*recalls the awesomeness that was the Baldur's Gate series*

*sigh*

I think I'm in love with Bioware again.

So it's been awhile since I've updated, and well, the last update was pretty cheap.

Anyhow, on to the thoughts and musings of a random person that most of you have never met...

Spending Our Tax Return: My wife is incredible, and she deserves to have hot clothes to match her hot body. So we decided to spend a good chunk of our tax refund on new clothes for her. It was beyond awesome watching her try on clothes, and to see her so happy. She ended up buying some dresses (cue wolf-whistle), pants that make her ass look even better (I didn't think this was possible), and then some essentials.


Rock Band: After spending money on my wife's wardrobe, Maura convinced me to buy Rock Band. I know, you're shaking your head; I was ready to put this money is our savings account (see? I'm trying to improve!). I guess I had been talking about this game alot, because not only did she recommend that we buy it, she told me to drive to Best Buy and get it or she'd kick my ass.

So, the game is awesome. I'm having the most fun playing the bass and drums parts, and I'm looking forward to tackling the drums on "expert" mode; they're the same as the original drum track. Singing is ok thus far, but I've only done it once. The guitar is ok.

I can't wait to get two or three friends over, so we can rock out full-band-****

The downloadable content (extra songs) takes the game from awesome to "the bomb-diggity."


Planetside: my outfit Sturmgrenadier recently got back into playing Planetside. As much as I love playing this game solo, it peaks when played with a tightly-run group of friends.

We spent many hours last Saturday dropping from Phantasms (invisible planes) onto unsuspecting enemy tanks and light armored vehicles. I don't think it took us more than four seconds to reduce the largest enemy vehicles to smoldering ruins. I'm still sure the drivers still don't know what hit them.


Soldering: Problem - my laptop (on which I am currently typing) broken where the AC jack plugs into the motherboard. No power = no laptop (the battery supplied juice for a whopping 45 minutes).

Buying a new laptop - $500
Sending it in for repairs - $250
Fixing it myself - $25

That's right, **** I bought the part off of eBay for $5, purchased a soldering iron and solder for $20 from Radioshack, downloaded the service manual off of the internet, took apart my laptop (every piece), removed the broken power jack from the motherboard (removing old solder SUCKS), soldered on the new jack, and put the beast back together. Yeah, it took three days, but that's still less time than it would have taken for us to send it in for repairs.

*cue Mastercard's "priceless" commercial*

I Can't Wait to Buy Rock Band Now
So, I've known that I want to own either Guitar Hero II or Rock Band for some time now. But what I didn't know is which one I'd purchase. I'm not going to spend >$100 on both.

Well, after a trip to the local Best Buy with my wife, I made my decision: it's Rock Band all the way.

I played on a demo station at the store, and was lucky enough to walk by when nobody else was playing. There it was, an electronic drum machine made just for rocking out. But wait, it's a video game too... hmmmm... *rubs chin pubes* I played "Say It Ain't So" by Weezer (almost) perfectly. Combine that with the fact that I can play drums, bass, guitar, and/or sing in this game, I can play with three other people, I can rock out in an apartment, and there are a bunch of downloadable songs to play... and I'm sold.

Well, not yet anyway. There is that little problem of the price tag. *sigh* Hopefully now that I got ahold of somebody competent at Beaumont, I can start my second job soon. Maybe then the rocking can be had... maybe then...




Mass Effect
Mass Effect is a beautiful game. Lots of polish, great animations, closer-to-lifelike-looking models, etc. That being said, I'm still squirming to play it on my TV.

Now, I know that I primarily a PC gamer, and so I feel that RPGs play and feel better on a monitor, but I don't think that's the primary cause of my discomfort. I've been playing games for decades, and I never embraced PC gaming until 2003. Now, I recall playing Final Fantasy on my NES, and while I enjoyed the character ****s and game world, the game just didn't feel "right." Now, I understand why: I was playing a RPG on a TV.

Why that's odd, I don't know. But it's an observation of mine. Anybody else have the same, or a similar, issue while gaming?

P.S. This is now known as Bill's Law of Televised RPGs.




Racial Slurs + Baby = Ticket to a Happy Childhood
So, I'm standing on the corner near my school, playing "security man." As I'm greeting the first students who are making their way home, I see a young (18-ish) girl pushing a baby stroller towards my direction. She stops on the other side of the street, and begins to talk to the baby. "Knock it off, **** Stop, **** I'm appalled.

"I'll cut her some slack," I thought, "maybe I misheard her. Nobody would call a 2 year-old a racial slur."

Five minutes later, the 18 year-old's friend joins them, and she pulls the baby out of the stroller and begins to walk her across the street. "Hurry up, **** this new woman exclaims, as she pulls the baby's hand toward the curb.

At this point, I couldn't take it anymore. I felt that I had to say something. What I was hoping to accomplish, I don't know, but still I felt compelled.

"Please don't call a baby that word," I say as politely as I can muster. Although I'm a stranger to her with no authority, at least I was on my school's turf; I felt that I could show the extension of the values that the school excects (which are clearly middle ****values) to my students.

The teenager replies, "She ain't no baby. She already cuss' me out!" [sic]

Good luck, kid.

So as I may have mentioned before, I tend to go back and forth with (all things) gaming. I'll play one game at a time until I complete it for a few months, and then play four games at once for a few months.

At the moment, I'm going through a phase of the latter.

Granted, I've now completed more of Deus Ex than I ever have before, but I won't consider myself a monogymous gamer until it's completed.

As I've had a week off from work (spring break), I've been able to dabble in a whole bunch of other games too.

I'm still playing Team Fortress 2 (PC) a few nights a week, and now I've even roped my friend Dan McCue into playing online with me.

I've gone through one round of Lost Planet: Extreme Conditions on my Xbox 360. This was the game that first got my warmed up to the idea of buying a console again. It hasn't held up well over the years, but it's still ok.

Asia online, aka Exteel is a free-to-play, microtransaction-based, PvP mech game. It's free, and worth every penny. It should be a market hit in China, where the piracy to retail ratio is currently around 6,000:1. Although, if you're reading this now, there are probably about 100,000 people who are better than you.

I jumped back into City of Heroes for an hour or so this week too. It's the only MMO that I still pay a monthly fee for. I keep forgetting how awesome that game is with a good group. I leveled up my character in under an hour, and had a great time.

I was working on Diablo II (never played) for the past week or so, but decided to take a break from it in order to go all ADD as described above.

Phew!

Small update: things are good.

I'm still loving Evil Genius. I swear, games like these are underappreciated. All of the subtle polish, animations, AI, and features gel so cohesively with the campy humor, I'm amazed that this game didn't get more attention.

Anyhow, I've finally created my super evil lair in the volcano of my second island, which is further than I've ever delved before. Hooray!


I'm still exercising, and I've finally worked my body back into the point where I'm getting cardiovascular benefits from the workout too (>20 minutes).


What "older" game have you revisited lately and rediscovered?

That's right, kiddies, it's dad time. Time for game developers to realize that my demographic makes up the majority of your dollars.

We have the jobs, we have the money.

So, with that said, please feel free to delete the obligatory 1/5 of your game that just sucks.

Library level of Halo, I'm looking at you.

Not only will you have a better game, but it will be shorter as well. That means less money spent on making the game.

Being a dad, I don't have 78000+ hours to spend on games anymore.

10-15 hours sounds perfect. Your games don't have to be AAA quality, but no crappy console-ports need apply.




Some games that fit the DO rating:





What are some of your favorite DO or MO (Mom's Only) games? The criteria are: short game, much fun, still worth the price you paid.

While at family dinner this Sunday, I stumbled into an oration of useles "facts" about Scotland. Most were directed at Maura's Nanny, who is Irish, but was raised in Scotland. Some of these were funny, and all were dumb. A sampling:

Did you know that

Edinborogh is a real city?

It has a castle?

Scotland is a real place?

Scottish people actually make Lucky Charms, while the Irish make Ceerios?

If you go into a bar and ask for Scotch, you don't get tape?

When the Scots turn on their taps, whiskey comes out?

Scotland has the world's most powerful navy?

It's a documented fact that Scots make the best lovers?

So, now that my family's financtial situation should be worked-out, and the comparitive lack of stress at work is slowly letting me relax, life is beginning to feel alright.

I've been chillin, relaxin, maxin all cool, but haven't found the time to shoot some b-ball outside of the school. I'm giving in to my urge to play what game when I want, as opposed to feeling like I HAVE to complete one game at a time.

Oh, and then there's this:



"I wish I was my sister, so our dad would touch me more."
-Ashley Simpson

So my wife makes me exercise tonight. Only 1 mile (I have to warm up to exercising) tonight, but it's a start.

Yay, weightloss.

She also helped solve a recent financial situation that we had.

Points for her.

Just because a game is super-hyped, or even declared under-hyped, doesn't make the game good... to me.

Case-in-point: The Darkness

features: suck
gameplay: stale
cool factor: Mike Patton as the voice of "the Darkness"
Trust me, you'd rather pop in an old Faith No More CD than play this.