Last month i was starting to lo9st interest of what i was studying, i wasnt studying, or making th homework. I was starting to think i wanted to change my mayor to what i also liked, 3d designer. Lattly i have talk and go around with my friends and suddenly now i know whay i study what im studying. My friends as well are studying engineering, architecture, etc. I love to talk with them about it, its really entretaining and fun to talk about. I as always, try to in some kind try to be the best, i dont want to brag around but is how i feel, and now that i feel some kind of competition with my friends it makes me feel joyful again. I have desided to use the internet 50% of what i was used to use the internet. Thats implies sigs and design as well, even though that i steel love it. Im glad that i feel the same feeling as i use to, the feel of competition. I know this is nothing interesting to read about but oh well, this is my Journal after all :P. Give your feeling about what you are studying here if you want to :)

Today i was walking though my college, seeng how everyone speak, chair, and even laugh togeter. I notices some people have some resambles at their actitudes, some not. After some walk and thinking after my classes of the day finished a question came to my mind. i though, what if we actually can be two or more people at the world living at the same time, you dont know it, but it is you. What if we both have the same soul, it just devide in two o both of our bodies. After that crazy idea, i was thinking, if some one in the world is me, just different because of the way he leaved, Do his actions will affect me at the time of salvation? Well i know it sounds crazy, but it could be true. Another question came to my mind, if you knew that that person is yourself, and you see he needs alot of help, he hates alot or even he have killed someone, would you try to help him to help yourself? Helping yourself can help you be saved? I dont know, no on knows, but im sure most of you would have try to help that sole, help him, try to make him as good as you are now, saving yourself. We never will know if what i have wrote now could be for real, maybe god could have do it because if you cant help some one that you dont know that is yourself in the world, you just dont deserve to be with him. From now on why we just try to see life in another way, look at people, help them...laugh with them, take care like you would do it if he were you, why you just dont save yourself.

Sigs is not only about editting or custom brushes, i felt to post two of my sigs and make a few explanation of what i did. i course i wont tell everything but youll get he idea. BTW i know im not the best sig maker or something, i just feel to add something to my journal :P.

1. First SO sig i did to Yama:
Yama told me he wanted a SO sig. I first though of making a space sig or something, but then he told me he wanted the sig to be "a beach sig". The idea of drawing the Bg came to my mind, so i started to make a drawing of the sig and it ended looking like this:

I know it doesnt look fancy, but oviously i was goin to add more things into it. After searching for a while, i saw a SO logo that i liked alot, so i desided to duplicate it by drawing it myself, i also added some shapes i though looked fine on it. it doesnt look like the original one but it looks fine:

Well, after that, i saw the SO font and i just use it and add it on the sig, i also make some shapes to make the "Y" of yama's name. I also edited the images and madde some lighning...and added a thin white border.

2. I drew the BG of this one as well, and repainted and eddited the pic of Jill too:

First i drew the bg and Zombies, and used some of the brightness:

Then, i added some borders and font:

Finally it looked like this. I re-painted jill to make her look as she looks now....ill post the original pic of Jill after the sig:

Ok, i found it, This was the pic i used :)

Like you have read before on my journal, i love nature. Well, yesterday, i had been invited to some of my friends to go to the river. When i was on the way to the river i enjoy the time with my friends, jokes, memories, etc. That reminds me why i never go out with them, even though i dont like to drink or smoke, i should try to go out with the more. Even though i have more friends that day on the way on the river i was with 4 of thim....5 includng me; it was a long way to the river and it was a rainy day. We finally arrive, i could felt my feets :P, and i wanted to the bathroom so bad. To my surprice there wasnt any bathroom around there, i was kinda pissed but i solve the problem really quick...... clue....tree:P. I loved the place, it was so calm and the air was so clean. There was only 2 or three people there, i liked it like that, i dont like crowded places...i had a bad experience with crowded places 0_o. Well, we started walking trough the river with our bags, towels, food, etc, my friend told me up on the river was alot better. We started to walk through the mud and trees. It was really hard because the way was full of grass and it was hard to pass through. Well i was getting tired but to my surprice whe wasnt even half of the way of were my friend wanted to go. Whe started to climb some rocks, cross through the river with tenis and sock on:(, and the rivers tide was really strong. We finally arrive to that place, we left our stull on a rock so they dont get wet, my friend told us we need to swing with our tenis on because the rocks are slipery and we could cut our feets with them. They started to swim on the river to a really tall rock to jump into the river again; well i couldnt swing agains the tide...all of them could, i felt so stupid:(. Well i desided to stay down the river and watch some of them jump from that rock, it was fun to talk and look at them jump. Me and a girl friend of mind (friend) came back to were we left our bags, food and stuff, well we was tired. The rest of my friends went up the river again, to explore more the river, well because i could swim that well i couldnt go with them. After a few minutes the friends who stayed with me told me that she knew another way to go to were my friends went. We walk all the way, it was really hard to climb there, well the funny thing is that we actually arive, but we was really op the hill and we had to go down to arrive to where my friends are. My friend went first and she felt so bad that it was funny, she was rolling through the clift because the sliped because of the mud, lol. I, with style and beauty, went down with out even getting dirt :P. Well, we finally reunited and started to make jokes and swim a littler bit. They started to jump from an even taller rovk and it was funn to watch and make fun to some of the bad jump they did. Well, it was finally late, we went back to the car, but we were hungry so we desided to go to sizzlers to eat some food. Well i did a littler prank to one of my friends by telling to one of the employers of sizzler that it was his birthday. Well we started ta laugh when they started to sing happybirthday to him, but to our surprise he started to dance like an strpier...it was really shameful and funny at the same time. He did it because he was in some kind counter the prank and he did, the chicks workes of sizzlers wanted him to dance again, lol. Well After the laugh we left and now im here, it was a great day. I write this here so i can remember the fabulous day i had.

Sometimes when i sit in my chair thinking about my life i always figured out doesnt matter what i study or do, it wont be much different to how it is now. Alot of people use to tell me that you always can ashive your dreams if you work hard, with out quiting. Even though it may be true, my dreams are different of what people use to have. I dont dream about, what im goin to be in the future or how im goin to ashive what ever i want to, my dreams cant just be made in real life.

Even though sometimes its sad that there is no way i could make my dreams true, i still love to have them. I always dream about a peaceful place, runing trough the grass, tasting the fruits, the nature. Just try to think, how it would feel if you just lay down on the grass, then you just start hearing the birth singin a beatiful song, so relaxing. you think how it would feel tp feel the fresh and clean air pass trough your fingers like a really soft carpet making you small and smooth tickling on you fits and harms. Breath hard, feel the fresh air inside you, feel how we could have live if the human wouldnt have been so greedy, hateful, venganceful. Just think how whould you feel if you eat one of this fresh, clean fruits from the top of the tallest trees around that fantasy world, as tall as the biggest of the mointains, hard to ashive. How enjoyable that could be, ashive something unthinkable. When you start eating that fruit, you starts feeling how the sweet juice of the fruit pass trough your body, inside you, something freash and clean hard to explain. What i like of the dreams is that you can think what ever you want, you have the control, dont let noone control it for you, IT IS YOUR PLACE TO BE REALLY FREE OF EVERYTHING.

It is sad that the true world is so corrupted by power and hate, that a simple fantasy such as mine will never be true. Even though i know life is hard why whe can just leave in peace, loving each other, carring of others. Dreams will be always dreams, they are so hard to ashive that they will never be true.

With all the bad spelling and all, here is my VJ review. Youll get my point :P

http://www.gamespot.com/gamecube/action/viewtifuljoe/reader_review.html?id=1665371

Today i did a new sig, A RE4 sig, It took me kinda alot of time on editing it. The pics i used were all messed up, im satisfied of how it look, even though i know i could have do it better. I used pics like this one:

It looks nice from how it was, the sig is this one :):

I hope i get better on the next one.

I was thinking this days, why being skillful and some things are good at all? I consider myself really good at making sigs, wallpapers, and drawing (still need to learn). Im also not that bad at playing games.

When i began playing games i was really bad at them, but still i enjoy to play them, i liked the challange, the emotion and thinking how i could do this and that. I also had something similar when i make my sigs; when i was new to this kind of program like PS, Picture it, etc, i felt so great to make my sigs, do what ever i want with out carring of what people think of what i do. I remember i made so many sigs to my many friends and even though i knew they didnt like most of them i steel enjoy to try as hard as i can. I dont know if being noobish make you look at the world that you still dont know in a diferent way, but it surely make you more exited and gives you more freedom at what you do.

I always though, " being skillful at certein stuff is good or it just make you afraid of what people can think about you making you lock most of your thoughts and ideas inside you just for the sake of making other people like it? I certenly do think thats is true in some way, at least that apply to me. When i became good at design sigs and stuff, alot of people just expect from me something about what avarage people do, im starting to hate that kind of treatment. Even though i still have this noobish ideas of what i could do, i do not make them, i know those ideas will not pleece the people that i like to be admired from. Always came to my mind, is it good to be actually good? i seriously think it isnt. I basically keep repeating the same things i do in all the sigs, and i as an artist do think thats just not good at all and i lost interest on them really quick. Everything to satisfied the people that admired me........meh...why i should care if im not being happy, why i should care about what people that i actually dont know thinks....why, why, why ? being skillful rise the expectation of the people that know ou, i dont want that, i shouldnt care, but i do; i know i keep repeating the same things but is just that this kind of thoughts keep coming to my mind like some kind of virus on my brain. What is better, being "good" or being Happy. I seriously have to sit one day and reorganize my thoughts of what is really essential. To me something artistically that have alot of feelings on it is much better than just a cold plain, good looking art.

From now on i will became a "noobish" again and enjoy what i really like, alot of people complain about how bad is being a noob, but i do thing is one of the best things it can happen, you enjoy everything and everything is challanging to you. I just hope i can keep my thoughts right and dont confuse about what i want and what people want. I will try my best to express and try what i do really want to do, being a noob...start all over again from the begining, being happy.

Before i you read this you have to have in mind that i speak spanish and im still learning english. So, even though it will have some bad spellings and bad sentences concordance i will gladly if you read this :).

Alot of people must think that having a forum friends is something for nerdish people or people that do not have any friends in "real life", I was one of those persons. When i was in high school i had a friend that like to chat in the internet, me as well as most of my classroom friend underestimate him alot. Even though he was endeed a great friend we usually made jokes about how nerdish he was. Even though, at least me, though he was taking those jokes as a joke and not seriously, i noticed i was wrong. I indeed did alot of pranks to that poor guy, he even cried because of me. I fell really bad when i saw him crying, too bad i never like to express any feelings or pety to no one, i still do. Even though he call his mother and i got suspended from school for a couple of days, i always though why he was like that, why he dont have any "real friends"? Sudenly as we were growing and becoming more mature i noticed that my friend was changing, he looked different, and hes actitud was changing as well. I noticd that he now have the "real friends" he wanted that much, i was kinda glad but i knew those friends werent exactly the type of friends i was thinking of. To make this long story short now im in third year of collage studying mechanical engineering.

One day i was talking wit one of my best friends one day ( i knew him since six grade) and sudenly that guy came to my mind, i asked him about how he was now, is he studying, how he is? My best friend told me that he was on drugs, he isnt studying and he becamed kinda retarded now because of the drugs. He told me that his mother was sufering because of that, hes older brother was a drogadict as well, and she gave all her hopes on him. I was impacted when my friend told me that, the guy was even smarter than me, he had exelent grades, i never though he would be dumb enough to fell on that kind of life. I fell kinda guilty, i though i kinda enduce him to that life, i was the one of the pranks, mokery and the one thats asked himm all those stupid questions to him. He wanted to have friends and now look at him, he is worst now that he was when he hadnt any. I still feel guilty, but i dont think all the guilt have to be on me, he desided his life, and i cant make him change. There is a popular phrase in spanish that i always think when im goin to choose the friend im with " is better be alone than being with a bad companion".

It is sad i noticed that having some friends on the internet is not bad at all, if not of what type of friend you are with. Thats what make the difference in all, too bad i noticed that too late. Right now i have been in Gs over two years and a half, and i had alot of different friends here. Even though i cant interact with them i know the are part of my life and some of them make me what i am now. Even though i had alot of friends over the years i have a predilected bunch of friends. To name a few Yama, Pegnose, SL, and Hugo are my favorite friends here. Yama like alot of games i do, even though he is really good at them and i suck as much as if a car run over your head mean while a dog pee in your cloth, i like to talk with him about them some times. he also like design and stuff like i do, he is a really good internet friend. Pegnose even though is diferent from Yama and he dont type on aim like if he want to go to the bathroom so bad like Yama do (really fast), is a great friend as well. Is there is something i like of hism are their drawings, i also like drawings and thats something we chair as friends. Sl, even though in ths past month he always aim me and then he becaim idle on aim (anoying as hell) he is a great friend and artist, even though he sometimes make some jokes i dont get lol. Beside, he like tanga girls and that cant be a bad thing. He also recomended me some 3d programs and give me his opinion about my work,...and his names is Jaque.........HAHAHAHAHA j/k. Hugo, well he is the hardest to talk in aim, he always post this stupid faces i always hate.....well exept the lips face, that one owns all, he is funny. He sucks at PS7 and he is a spamer. Me, azrael and him use to make threads in spanish on OT inthe old days, those were the days :).

As a conclusion my point is that it doesnt matter, how far or how you comunicate with your friends, friends are friends, there is not such thing as "real friends". A friends care about you and dont induce you to be a poor, drogadict jack ass that dont have any ashivments in life. Even though i still regreat some things i did in the past, i cant change that, but i can became better that i was, and try to help and be as friendly as i can.