Since I was so distraught in my last post, I figure I should at least update this thing and mention that I'm feeling a lot better (knock on wood). I still have my down moments, but it's nothing like the depression I went through during December and January. Started dating again (or really, for the first time--my previous relationships started out through friendship and gradually evolved from there), trying to meet new people. So that's good. But I'm not very good at dating. Sadly, at 25, it's still a bit of a new experience for me.

It doesn't help that I feel conflicted about the town I'm living in. The rent is cheap, it's a house instead of a small apartment, I live close to a couple of my best friends, but there's nothing to do here. All the interesting stuff (and more importantly, gay women! ) is in Seattle, and driving there can be a pain at times, not to mention the parking. I dunno if my desire to go out more and discover new people and places is enough to make me move. I'll guess we'll see.

...that I don't have a girlfriend anymore.

Ah, I suppose I should back up a bit. I wonder if anyone is even going to read my blog, considering I've been pretty much gone for a year and a half. Well, to anyone who knew me before, you're probably surprised to even hear that I had one, since I was married...to a guy...last time I was really active on GS. In fact, I have the feeling that some of you may not even know I'm female, heh (well, I guess I do have a couple photos posted here). Anyway, I won't even try to summarize the relationship craziness that's been going on. Suffice it to say, after figuring out that I wasn't attracted to my husband (yeah, a BIT LATE, I know, but I was confused, made the best decisions I could at the time (kids, think before you get married (I know you all will;) )), I got divorced and fell hard for a beautiful, fantastic woman (and damn, I still love her so much), but she recently split up with me. She's already found someone else to date, which blows my mind that she'd move on so quickly. I'm depressed as hell, and I don't even know why I'm confessing this on GS, of all places.

I'm hurting too much to even THINK about dating again, but it's depressing to think about trying to find another geeky woman who has common interests with me. Somehow, it seems appropriate that I would come back here now, and join the ranks of the sad girlfriendless fellas who spend their time perusing GS (sorry for the generalization--I know many of you are in wonderful relationships--or maybe I'm being too optimistic, I don't know).

Speaking of which, I feel kinda out of place here, too. I don't have any of the current-gen consoles, so that leaves this pathetic bachelor feeling a tad outdated:P I like to keep up with gaming news, but it's a little silly when I'm unable to play any of the new stuff. Just bought a car a month ago, and that used up what little (read: nonexistent) disposable income I had. Hopefully I'll be able to save up for a new console sometime in the near future. Healing through gaming? Whatever. I need to get away from the computer.

So...How is everyone??

I think this guy's video game reviews are hilarious and worth a plug here. If you're even mildly aware of what's going on in the gaming world, I think you'll find them funny. Here's the archive of his videos, updated each Wednesday:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/zeropunctuation

...was a month ago. Ah well, you all know how am I with updating blogs. Anyway, it was a wonderfully busy day that started out with the Seattle Atheists marching in the QueerFest parade (although it's technically just a march, not a parade) on Capitol Hill. You should check out the pics, because we're all festive and such: Wendy's slideshow

After a long day at QueerFest (okay, maybe not that long, considering I took a nap), we of course went out to the popular birthday spot for dinner -- I Love Sushi. Yippee! Later, we went back to Tiff's place for cake and ice cream.

It's not often that I can look back on a weekend and feel so accomplished. I suppose it would have been most productive if, say, I got more work done, but so it goes. I played some racquetball Friday night, in which I was beaten miserably by Tiff. But that's not what matters, right? It's all about the exercise:P Hopefully I can start practicing more. Saturday was rockin'. Got my butt out of bed early enough to go to walleyball (I know, surprising). Had a good turnout that morning. After walleyball, I went to crochet club and finally finished my scarf. Yippe! Black, blue, and purple stripes, closed ripple stitch. I know it's bold, but those colors just never get old for me. Afterwards, I went to I Love Sushi for Kevin's birthday dinner. Sushi trumped the Winter Solstice Potluck this year. Split the good ol' tempura sushi roll and caterpillar roll with Kyle. Excellent, as always. Then we went to the Skate King for some birthday skating. Success! I actually did get to use my rollerblades before the year's end, haha. It's been quite some time since I've skated, but it all came back quickly. Once that was over, Jeff, Randy, and I headed over to Meg and Kyle's for some post-skating wine, pizza, and old-school video games. Good to see I haven't lost my touch with Dr. Mario. Sunday I slept in rather late (well, I usually do). Got a little bit of work done, and then headed over to Michael's place for an informal DDR meeting. I'd pretty much given up on the idea of getting together with folks to play DDR, but it looks like there's still hope. And he has metal pads:) Michael and his friend Sugi were cranking out the hard songs on heavy, and I was happily humbled in their presence. I really needed that; it's motivated me to continue practicing heavy-level songs. Then we finished the night off with some Thai food. So, needless to say, I woke up in quite a bit of pain this morning. But it's good pain. Ah, and here are some pics of my other short projects: Jayne Cobb Hat! Grey Beret!

w00t!  I'm past level 20!  I really couldn't care less about my GS profile statistics, but level 20 was so excruciatingly  long.  It deserves a w00t.  Okay, that's all:)

Well, I temporary one, of course. But it will last until at least the end of summer, so that's something. I'm working at Alaska Distributors again, this time doing various office jobs around the warehouse. It's good to have a regular job, but I don't know if the cost is worth it. I don't want to get into complaint mode, but the environment is just so busy and stressful, and I haven't been trained well as a result of the hectic pace. I'm not a people person at all, and doubt that I'm going to get anymore comfortable with it. I'm not the right person for it.

Wish I had some editing to do....

Working an eight-to-five job certainly makes you appreciate your little free time that much more. Which brings me to the real point of this stupid ass blog: Why the hell am I spending a Friday night alone in front of my computer instead of DOING something? I don't want to get into the habit of doing this -- coming home, taking a nap, squandering the opportunity to live a little. Not that I was really living before, but after a week of work, it just gives you a bit of a jolt, you know what I'm saying? I know the pattern I'll get into, and before I know it, the summer will quickly pass by and I'll have accomplished nothing of any real value.

I'm complaining. I'll just stop. If you're actually reading this, go bloody do something and quit wasting your time.

Okay, now that I've been using the name for a while and watched Nintendo's E3 conference, I must admit that the name is growing on me, LOL. I think Nintendo knows what they're doing. Shame on me for doubting:P

Well, Seattle Atheists thought that would an appropriate day to actually do something useful for the world -- donating blood. I'm pretty excited about that -- Jeff and I had never given blood before, and I'm glad we both were able to. Felt a bit dizzy afterwards, but I suppose that's to be expected given my size. Wow, several of them have been doing this quite regularly for a long time -- I know Jerry's donated over 100 pints! We'll definitely be donating more in the future:) And now for something completely different. . . . the original unaltered Star Wars trilogy is going to be released on DVD. FINALLY! How long have we been waiting for this?! It's about time. http://www.starwars.com/episode-iv/release/video/news20060503.html

Nintendo just announced that its new console is going to be called the Wii (pronounced like "we"). I realize that they're trying to pull in both gamers and non-gamers with their new system, hence WE're all playing games or whatever, but I'm still partial to "Revolution." Nintendo Wii? Laaaaame. It just makes me think of this.