I haven't really talked about my real life goings on lately. So I thought I'd give you an update of sorts. Do forgive me if it is a bit emo, but I don't have many emo moments. So please bear with me.

Okay, geez, where do I begin? I quit uni about... nearly 2 years ago now. And what have I done since then? Nothing! Absolutely nothing. I attempted to get a job several times but... I just couldn't bring myself around to actually go through with it. The thought of it terrifies me. I'm scared of meeting new people, I'm scared of doing something wrong, I'm scared of people not liking me, I'm scared of nearly everything. The night before an interview I would worry about it all night and not sleep and then in the morning I was having small panic attacks. At that point I didn't end up going. Repeat this process several times over that last 1 and a half years. Thankfully my mum is very understanding and didn't make me go to any of them. I have tried to get counselling but after... 5 months I'm STILL waiting for it.

But now I'm going back to college to go into something different, computing! More specifically, a Foundation Degree in Multimedia and Internet Technologies. My mum saw some of my banners and suggested it as something to do since I really can't get a job in what was my current career choice (Working with animals) But really, I'm still faced with the same problem: I have to meet new people. I just don't know how to approach someone I don't already know. I am looking forward to the course itself, its just the new people part that worries me. What do I do?

*Sigh* Here's me wishing I could go back to the person I remember myself as.

Anyway! You've probably noticed that I've changed my top banner once again! Since I'm playing FFIX (AGAIN!) it's FFIX themed. The obvious choice for a FFIX banner subject for me was Freya ^^ It is who I am known as around here! I also went for a different look this time and went for a black and white effect. I hope you all like it, I do! ^^

Yes! As you can probably see, I've finally made myself a profile banner. It's the Prince from Suikoden V and the actual image of him I rendered myself. You can actually find it on Planetrenders.com as I like to share my stuff with the world ^^ It nearly drove me mad trying not to erase his hair though! @_@ You might be able to tell that it had a water theme and I hope I conveyed that well. Also, the quote is from Kingdom Hearts but I thought it fitted really well with the Prince! I was told by one of my friends that it was a bit empty on the right side which I CAN see, but I don't know what to put there >_> I may see if I can do anything else with it, but I probably won't. If I do I will imform you :P I will most likely make myself several banners in the future as I'd like to change them regularly to reflect what I'm either play/reading! Good idea huh? :P

What's Thorpe Park you Americans ask? It's one of the big 3 theme parks here in the U.K! ^^ I went there yesterday with my brother and dad. I had lots of fun! Although I AM a wimp when it comes to rollor costers >_> I won't go on ANYTHING that goes upside-down or too high ^^; But they have alot of water rides there so it's okay! We got VERY wet on them :P One of the rides did break down but since we persisted and stayed in the queue regardless they gave us fast track tickets (they have fast track tickets here that if you pay for them, you get to cut the queue) and told us to come back later when they had fixed it! Lol. I also shouted at some kid while we were there that was quite funny! We had just gone down the log flume and I didn't realise it but people can pay to use these water jets and spray them at you while you are on the ride ¬_¬ This kid sprayed his gun at me and I turned around and shouted... "OI! YOU LITTLE BRAT!!!!" and shook my fist at him!! XD It was so funny :P We also went on the rapids and this rollor coster that is indoors, goes backwards and is in the dark! ^^

But yes, it was lots of fun! And very hot!! ^^; Not to mention it's killed my legs! All the back of them are really hurting me! T_T

So I've just completed Suikoden V again today with the good ending with all 108 Stars of Destiny and I have to say the good ending was totally worth the effort. [spoiler] The Prince looked so cool in his Queens Knight uniform! And he still kept his orange scarf XD It was also really nice that he got to see everyone who had died, like his parents and Sialeeds. I thought that was really nice. Lyon also looked alot older in her new uniform! [/spoiler] I'm really glad I played it again so soon to see that ending ^^

In light of this, I've decided to re-organise my top 5 yet again! XD

1. FFIX

= Okami

3. Suikoden V

4. The World Ends With You

5. Shadow Hearts 2: Covenant

I hope to track down the other Suikoden games (the ones that have been released here at any rate) and play them when I have the money to do so ^^ I'm so glad I've had the chance to play such a wonderful game.

Okay! Here are all of your questions and my answers! Do excuse me as I shamelessly copy and paste your questions rather than type them all out again >_>

zxv33

What's your fav system of all time? PS2
If you found a sack full of money would you keep it or turn it in? Keep it!
What's your biggest fear? Losing my family
What are your plans for the future? Right now, I have no idea.

lightwarrior179

Um..since when have you been gaming? Since I was little. I don't know what age... it was about when the Sega Master System came out. Although I mostly used to watch back then.
What would you like to become currently? A great person >_> Lol, I thought I knew once, but now I have no idea. Sorry.
Which is the most popular genre in gaming? (No biased view) I want to say RPG's but it isn't T_T It's probably either FPS or Sports games.
And,um..just because I am feeling a little geeky right now,which is your favorite subject in school/college? I don't go anymore, but it was... science, because I actually had someone to talk to rather than sit on my own.

kryu88

Have you ever traveled beyond the UK before? No, I haven't ^^; I'd like to go to Japan one day though
What is your favorite gaming genre? (besides RPGs that is. ) RPG's! XD Okay, I'd say Action/adventure. That is what Okami/Zelda is right?
Do you like chocolate? XD Yes, yes I do!

IpodHero176

Do you think Chrono Trigger is better than FFVII? Considering that I've only played CT once... no. But that may change when I get it on the DS.
Do you like muffins? Yes! As long as there's no blueberries or anything like that in them XD
What is your favorite movie? The Lion King >_>

alidallal

What is the most thing you hate Hights. But on the internet it's bad grammar.

Jack_Force

What makes FFIX Bahamut better than the rest? Well, I think he has more of a role than the others. Plus! You get to see him blow things up! And thats always fun XD Also! he has BIG HUGE WINGS which is ALWAYS a plus in my book.
Whats your favorite book? I don't really read >_> But I can give you my favorite manga! Which Is Tsubasa Chronicle :P

MonkeyStew

what are your top 5 games made between 2000 and 2006? I've checked and the only game that wasn't made during that period is TWEWY, so if we remove that from my top 5 it would look like... 1. FFIX, 2. Okami, 3. Suikoden V, 4. Shadow Hearts 2, 5. Kingdom Hears 2. Notice that Suikoden V has been bumped up a place! XD My second playthrough has changed my mind on where it should be on my top 5!

DrAwesomeMD

Why do you love FFIX so much? I tend to think that your first FF is your favorite. Which is true in my case, FFIX was my first FF and has always remained my favorite. I just love the characters, story, music, battle system and Bahamut >_> It just made such an impression on me when I first played it. It was, infact, probably my first RPG. Also I love Freya, who didn't get nearly enough screen time.

doubleajunkie

Would you rather eat shampoo or Purell Hand Sanitizer? I have NO IDEA what that last thing is. So I pick shampoo >_>

DraconigenaDeus

What is the origin of your name Gemma? Err, let me look that up for you >_>

...*runs off*

*comes back*

Okay, the internet says... "Medieval Italian nickname meaning "gem, precious stone". It was borne by the 13th-century wife of the Italian poet Dante Alighieri." So there you go XD

S_Jake

If you could have a single wish granted, what would it be? To have my own pair of wings and fly into the sky free...

But in more practical terms, I would like to have more confidence to be able to do the things I want to do ^^

latte428

What game would you most like to see a sequel made for? Okami would be my immediate answer, but my CURRENT answer would be for Suikoden VI >_>

Symondezyn

when you were a kid, what 'teen idol' did you have posters of on your wall? Hahaha... I'm afraid I wasn't ever into that sort of thing >_>;; My wall still has my old Lion King cut outs on it

Yup! Because I feel like it, you have another opportunity to ask me any question you like ^^ I'll answer them all in another blog in a few days!

Get asking!

If you've looked at my "What I'm playing" list recently you would have noticed I was playing Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, which I have just this minute completed. Now I'm a big fan of the original Phoenix Wright series so I was admittedly a bit sceptical about whether it could carry on without him. But I can now say with confidence that Apollo Justice is a worthy successor to Phoenix Wright's legacy. It maintains everything PW had and adds in a few bits extra, such as being able to look at items in more detail and some forensic science parts. Not many games can be carried by the writing and characters alone but PW/AJ is one of them which is why they are such good games and such a joy to play. I sincerely hope that they will bring out Apollo Justice 2 because I'm hungry for more!!

Phoenix Wright and Apollo Justice has my recommendation for any DS owner ^^

I've been thinking hard on where to place The World Ends With You on my top 5 lately and now I've come to a decision! So here is my new top 5 games!

1. Final Fantasy IX

2. Okami

3. The World Ends With You

4. Shadow Hearts 2: Covenant

5. Suikoden V

Wow! Thats the firs DS game to ever break into my top 5 and to be honest, I never thought it would happen. But I love the game to death and I think it deserves its place ^^ And also for the first time, I can give you my top 10 games! XD So here goes...

6. Kingdom Hearts 2

7. Dragon Quest VIII

8. Grandia 2

9. Phoenix Wright series

10. Final Fantasy VII

So what do you think? Agree or disagree? I like my list myself >_> It's my opinion after all!!

Also, I thank Soralover3303 over at DeviantArt for my lovely new avatar which she kindly made for me!!! Go check out her DA page! http://soralover3303.deviantart.com/

Wow, just... wow. I can't really describe how much I enjoyed this game, but I will try!!

The battle system is REALLY addicting. I just keep going back for more and more. For a game which has it's battles going on both screens at once, it's very fluid. I have my partner set on auto, but I am usually controlling them. The Pins are great fun to use and make great use of the DS's touch screen. I personally became addicted to leveling up and finding new Pins >_> The battling is so fun and finding and leveling Pins... it's all one big vicious circle! XD All I did was stand around and fighting... I was most probably overleveled at some points!

The music is also brilliant! I get all of the songs stuck in my head XD But I love them anyway, you can buy them in the game and listen to them on your phone menu!I thought that was a really nice touch.

Then of course there is the story! It was REALLY really good! I've completed the game now and the ending was confusing to say the least... do the secret reports clear that up? I would ask someone to explain the ending to me, but if the secret reports tell me then there's no point ^^; I've gotten 8 so far and they explain a hell of alot. Ending thoughts: (don't look at any of the spoiler tags unless you wanna be spoilered!) [spoiler] Woooooooooooah! Joshua was the Composer?? I NEVER saw that coming. I was like "WTF Joshua is the composer?!" and he DID actually kill Neku! Lol XD But as I said, the ending was extremely confusing... What did Mr. H have to do with it all? Did Joshua actually shoot Neku? What was Neku entry fee for the "shoot off"? Did Joshua decide to save Shibuya in the end after all? Did he bring them all back to life? Is the Game still going? So many unanswered questions... >_> [/spoiler] But as I said, don't tell me if the secret reports explain these! :P I also loved Neku, you could really see his character developing by [spoiler] what his entry fee was each time [/spoiler] It's funny, it reminds me of Tsubasa/xxxHolic :P I'm not sure who my favorite character was... Its between Neku, Joshua and Beat :P

All in all, I absolutely loved the game to bits. It's by FAR the best DS game out there and will probably make it into my top 5 games! ^^ If you have a DS, then I HIGHLY reccomend that you get it.

I've been working hard on one particular banner since my last blog. I'm really eager to improve!! I had finished up with version one, which I then posted on another forum for comments. The comments were rather harsh but it was what I wanted, constructive criticism. I was told the text needed to fit in with the banner and not just dumped in a corner, they also said that the render needed to be blended in with the background. Here was version 1.

So, I took that advice and went and looked for some text tutorials and stock blending tutorials. I couldn't find a stock blending tutorial that helped so I improvised. It was difficult trying to think of what brush to use, then I thought of what the theme of the banner was. To me, it looked windy so I chose a brush that looked like it would add to the "wind" theme. I even went and downloaded a font named "windy" and used a text tutorial to create a nice effect. So here is version 2, which I was told was a HUGE improvement on version 1.

So, what do you think? I really like it myself and I'm going to use it as my new banner! ^^ But, if you still have any more constructive comments for me, please do put them across! I'm also now working on something secret for someone else! I really hope I do them justice ^___^ You know who you are!

In other news, I've got Phoenix Wright 3!! AT LAST! Now, this game isn't out in Europe (for some unknown reason) so I had my sister get it for me while she was on honneymoon in America ^^; I'm really enjoying it so far, it certainly hasn't lost its humor!! I'll also be trading in a bunch of games on Saturday to get The World Ends With You, which I'm really looking forward to. Although I probably won't play it that much untill I've finished PW3!