well, college is keeping me a lot busier than expected, but it's alright. I'm back to my hometown for two weeks now, on spring break. I'd really rather not. I'd really rather have just stayed.

I want to get my hands on either a copy of Heavy Rain or Mass Effect 2 to spend my break time working on, but I can't afford to buy either and the rental is in the dead zone period. you know, when it's that awkward combination of too close and too far from release to be able to expect to find a copy anywhere. I checked three stores already, but wasn't expecting much. I had a coupon that expires in a week, so I rented a copy of Operation Flashpoint. I've been playing America's Army 3 during offtime up at school. And Total War: Medieval II. Now that I think of it, I really haven't updated here in a while.

I've made a couple friends up at school. Or at least, I've been hanging out with some people in my building. I'm bringing up my D&D books after break because they were interested in playing. And by interested, I mean they were so excited that one started pacing immediately and they apparently stayed up until 3am talking about D&D that night because they were too excited to sleep.

but anyway. not a whole lot going on. school is pretty sweet. back home=the pits. I mean, we still have snow down here. or at least, we got some yesterday. relatively annoying. but, as a plus, I get to drive again. I really missed going for drives out in the countryside. I expect to spend a lot of time doing that, as much as I can get away with. I also want to rent a cabin in the white mountains for a night. not sure if that'll go through or not. but...anyway. I'm sure I'll update a little more later since I've got plenty of time and not a whole lot to do. Operation Flashpoint=fun, but occasionally situations turn into the equivalent of me bashing my head against a wall for an hour.

or paid highly. probably a little of both. or a lot of both.

so last week, toward the end, at least, someone pissed ALL over one of the toilet seats. like, it looked like someone just opened a fire hose and pointed it in the stall without actually aiming for the toilet. I got the feeling more urine landed on the seat than in the bowl. and it sat like that. it was pretty gross. almost too gross to lift the seat with a shoe. and then my floor's janitor cleaned it this morning. and it was absolutely spotless. such a nice guy.

of course, heading back in a few minutes ago, someone pissed on the seat again already. the janitor must be a saint.

the collegiate life is a bit tiring. snow the past two days. unexpected. I don't tend to pay much attention to my wider surroundings. the other day, my roommate's friend was in the room getting something of his out. i at least realized someone was in before i entered because i heard him moving around, but it took me probably a good few seconds longer than it should have to realize that it wasn't my roommate. slightly awkward.

so tired this morning. i slept like half an hour past my alarm. which wasn't so bad. but still, i was up three hours earlier. tomorrow's schedule is a bit tighter. not looking forward to the likely impromptu speech i think i'll be having to make. not looking forward to having to pick a topic for my first speech either. suggestions? i'm really clueless here. of course, i don't necessarily even know if it's free choice or if there's a range to choose from yet either.

i'm really looking forward to the discussion for my first assigned reading for my candian lit class. Tay John was a really impressive novel. so glad I got landed in a candian lit class.

geology though...holy poop. i suppose i slacked on the reading a little and had to catch up hard and fast today. well, i had time, but i goofed off and read a little black company because i didn't think i had a lot to do. can't resist glen cook.

but anyway. it's been a while since i hit a concept i just plain could not wrap my head around. i think it was that sleeping beauty question. but today, when i had to try and puzzle out paleomagnetism...oh man. oh man. oh man. i pretty much have no clue, though i'm at least on the borders of understanding. i've discovered that pretty much all forms of magnetism are my weak suit. so thoroughly weak. this is worse than math.

i hit the books pretty hard tonight. or at least, it felt like it. hahah, i was in the first floor lounge because i like the chairs, and there are these guys that i'm pretty sure are on a table tennis team. they're down there playing ping pong pretty regularly, but this was the first time i didn't have my zune in and they showed up. so interesting to be studying and then hear (after one of them makes a good play) "**** YOU, JOE!" apparently one of them shares my name hahah. that made studying a little interesting, but the comfortableness of the chair more than made up for the very minor, very humorous occasional distraction.

hahah oh jeez. my roommate's been playing assassin's creed. and wow. just wow. he kills everyone. practically. i didn't know you could hidden blade the guards when they're rolling around on the ground after you've already beaten them. he always stops to do so. and then at the end, in masayaf, when all the towns people are zombie-like, he hidden blade'd them all too. pretty sure that was completley and unbelievably unnecessary if i remember correctly. but he just walked up to each one and put a knife between the ribs. spent like three minutes doing it too. nice guy hahah :P

which also reminds me that the other day he came in reeking of marijuana. i found that funny because last friday, some guys knocked on my door and asked if i had drugs they could buy. lucky straightedge me, being in room 420. still, they were nice enough guys, and we ended up hanging out for a while. what's funny is that they smoked in front of me, and i couldn't smell it, but it seemed pretty potent from their reactions. the roommate thing is funny because the scent was so potent on my roommate. also humorous is that my roommate made a 420 sign for the door featuring someone hitting a bong. or his old roommate did. it's been there since i moved in. i never looked close enough to realize what it actually was until today. makes the people assuming that i have drugs thing a bit more of a 'duh.'
i guess i'm really bad with drug references. my roommate has some kind of pot poster and it took me two days to notice the symbolism. i looked it up online and it's like old school hippy art or something. i think it's called 'mountain high.'

so, i can't really get my laptop online. kind of a shame, since i want to leave my webcam on. you know, to share my roommate with the world. not that that wouldn't be an invasion of his privacy, but whatever. i can't do it anyway. but the further significance of my laptop not working is that i'm sooooo glad i brought my desktop along. i'd be so screwed if i hadn't. not that i need computer access a whole whole lot or anything. but still.

i've done laundry up here once. i figured out that by choosing to do it on a thursday, i'm looking at something like 50+ flights of stairs. smart decision, but I suppose i need the exercise.

college really puts hair on a guy's chin. literally. i never really had to shave much. just from time to time when it started looking scruffy. but i noticed scruffy chin hair showing up a day or two after being here, much earlier than i was expecting. and now it's back again already a few days later. gosh darn. i don't want to have to figure shaving into my schedule more often. my moustache, which pretty much hasn't changed much since the 3rd grade, is getting awkward long and bushy too. but in a super scruffy sort of way. it's very difficult because i've hardly ever seen myself without some form of hair on my lip in the past decade and i wouldn't have a clue how to trim it without just shaving it all off. not sure that's even possible.

i'm much better with things like sewing. i sewed two buttons back onto my jacket today. the rest are super loose but i'm super lazy and only two actually fell off. i finally got around to buying a sewing kit at the campus store. the cashier woman, gray in the hair, a bit on in the years, seemed strangely excited and pleased by the notion that a college kid knew how to sew. she basically said it was tantamount to a lost art. nice lady, though i find her interest/excitement odd/interesting. i suppose in the scope of things, it's really not all that interesting. i'm sure a lot of people probably can't handle a needle and thread. not that i'm amazing or anything. but i did get the buttons on.

i'm not sure at which point i turned into a person that goes long periods without moving, but these gosh darn motion sensor lights that are everywhere keep turning off on me. no clue what the timers are on, and i highly doubt that they're adjustable, but i just felt like complaining. i wouldn't ever actually do anything about it if i could. probably.

my bed though, lofts. you have to send a request to have it adjusted, students aren't supposed to do it themselves. when i was headed downstairs earlier, i spotted a single bed that had been lofted up to a top bunk height, and the desk was placed under it. i have to wonder if he had a special bed. i feel like that'd be pretty convenient. it'd make a lot of floor space. hm. my room pictures are on my phone. i'll have to get them later.

or not. it occurs to me that i never got around to uploading pictures of cosades. i'm so lazy. i think i want to write some short fiction tonight. i've been tossing around a premise. i suppose i'll get cracking and see if it goes anywwhere. i really want to get to sleep early so i can wake up early. due to my alternating lab/lecture schedule, i've got my 'first period' when i'd normally have a lecture free, and then a lab later in the day. which basically means i could sleep in. but i want to stick to a (relatively) rigid schedule from this point on and get used to getting up at six or so every day. i can work on getting ahead in my psych book until my first **** i've been keeping up/ahead fairly well with the exception of geology. much more complicated htan i expected there, though. i guess that'll learn me for making assumptions. it'll learn me real good.

but anyway. writing+bed sounds pretty fantastic, some i'm off to fictioncity.

haha. i amuse myself.

woot! so glad the nearest dining hall has frosted mini-wheats. I'll worry about my diet that much less. shouldn't have any problems with dinner, so I think I'll be able to manage three meals pretty much from this point on.

and another cause for celebration is that i stepped into the campus bookstore and noticed that they have the new glen cook anthology. win. of course, i need to pick up and get started on my novel for canadian literature first, but it'll be a good reward to dangle over myself for studying and such.

turns out my roommate spent the night out. he was in the room when i got back from breakfast this morning. kind of awkward since we've got the same class first thing in the morning at 8 and i don't think i'd ever spend the night out. but then again, i'm a bit of a weirdo. i'm already a chapter ahead in my public speaking book, and i'm apparently the only person at my dining hall that ever puts ice in their drink. not sure what that's all about. i like cold drinks, gosh darn it. what's so weird about that?

after having some weird dreams. and felt relatively rested. and thought it was time to start my day. and then i realized it was only midnight. and my roommate wasn't around.

so i managed to get back to sleep. woke up off and on a few times, i think, but eventually got up. no idea what's going on with my alarm clock (if i'm sleeping through it, turning it off, or what) but i got up about half an hour after it. still plenty of time, though maybe not quite enough for a long blog.

anyway. on to breakfast? well, i should dry my hair first. and it doesn't look like my roommate ever came back last night. i feel like that's kind of weird, but i really don't know the guy so i'm not sure i could say just yet how weird it is. pretty sure he said he'd be back.

check.

relatively small, but still a meal. I'm almost on the right track. I woke up too late for breakfast again, so that part'll need some work. and once I get into a schedule, I can work on a slightly healthier diet, though I think I'm pretty fine so far.

in other news...well, there isn't really much of anything. true story.

yesterday, it was epic cold and would not warm up, but when i got back today, it was pretty roasty so i turned it down. and now it's a little chilly. not quite as cold as it was when i checked out campus a little last night, which is something to be thankful of, but still pretty cold when my hands are stuck out of my pockets (picked up my books). still, not so bad.

so I woke up a bit late. and had something like half an hour to get ready for class.

I ended up being a few minutes late, which really wasn't so bad. I've still got one more class left today, but it turns out that my schedule isn't quite as busy as i had expected. one of my classes and its lab component trade off, so i only need to get up at 6 MWF every three weeks or so. and my geology lab across campus is going to be online next week, and hopefully until it gets warmer. with my luck, i would get shoved into the dorm furthest from everything.

i was supposed to room with someone i knew from back home, but the houing office kind of screwed up. he still wants me to move in, but i've kind of already packed and i kind of like this dorm too. the RA's are nice enough, and the people on this floor too. and my roommate is a super nice guy, though he hasn't really been around so much.

college feels a lot like school, but slightly more adult. less hand-holding, and slightly more maturity from my peers. the dining system is proving a bit intimidating to figure out, just like the public bathrooms, and the walking is pretty tiresome. turns out i'm way more out of shape than i realized. it could be a while before i start hitting the bike.

forced to skip breakfast today. skipped lunch except for a few bites of a cookie. i'm hoping my eating normlizes a little more, once i'm less intimidated by the system and crowds. and hopefully i can find the lull moments to slip through the various dining areas. but i suppose i mostly just have to try harder. i can do this :)

so today was move-in and orientation. I got about an hour of sleep.

so ridiculously tired. I think I'd be golden if I went to bed now but there's a floor meeting at 9. ack. I really don't want to miss that since I'm a total noob and have no idea what I'd be missing (most of what I'd probably be needing to know, right?)

the campus is pretty big. the walking around in ridiculous cold weather shouldn't be so bad. i've added a scarf and earmuffs to my normal winterwear. i could use a pair of gloves, but i guess that's what pockets are for anyway.

the only thing that bothers me about getting around is that on thursdays, i have a lab alllll the way across campus. it's probably about a thirty minute walk, and it'll be dark by the time the lab is over. i really want to drop that class since its not so important (intro to geology doesn't seem super necessary for a secondary education: english spec major anyway) but i guess it depends on what happens if i go to see my advisor.

i'm so glad i quit smoking way back when i did. i kind of wish i'd gotten back in shape. i was in really good shape two summers ago, when i was 17. i was biking something like 10+ miles a day, which was relatively big for me.

i'm hoping to start hitting the gym here, just to ride an exercise bike for a few miles or so. i don't know if it'll be more than i can chew with all the current walking anyway. and that also assumes my diet can handle that. i'm going to try as hard as i can for a three meal day. i've been skipping meals like crazy the past few days, and sleeping pretty irregularly. this week's going to be a shock, but it'll be the pattern i want to assume. i really hope i can handle this. i haven't been to school or taken a class since i dropped out almost exactly a year ago. it's kind of ironic, a high school drop out being a secondary education major.

i think most people that know me kind of expected it though. or at least, they weren't surprised. teaching has always been a career that would make sense for me to anyone that knows me. i'm really not your typical drop out. i mean, i got my GED, applied to UMaine, wrote on the application where it asked what I had been doing since leaving school "nothing" and still got in? maybe it was the AP scores, and the GED scores. my SATs seemed mediocre to me. only like a 1500 or something? i don't know, not my strong suit. the AP scores were relatively average for AP scores, but they at least let me skip over english comp since they counted as a credit here. my GED scores though...it was a five part test, and the percentages are a comparison to how you scored versus graduating high school seniors. i had two 85s, a 97, and two 99s. and, if i'm allowed to say so, i think my essay with the application was pretty sweet.

it still kind of surprises me that i got in without an interview though. i mean, i dropped out a semseter shy of graduating and was enrolled in AP courses throughout my education, and my scores were good but still... i mean, i'm aware that i can sometimes do some ridiculous things, but getting into Umaine just like that? when my older brother applied, they insisted that he do a semester at a local community college first to prove that he could handle college work. but they just accept me four days before the spring semester starts, and let me enroll for something like 16 credit hours after more than a year out of school? i'm not complaining. i'm thankful, really. but sometimes i even amaze myself, and i realize better than most anyone what i'm capable of.

i'm not going to lie, i'm pretty nervous about tomorrow at this point, but its really not effecting me. i really just want to sleep. i'm confident i'll be able to manage to get around campus for the five classes i have tomorrow in pretty much a straight block from 8am to 3pm. finding out how to get out of my geology class though is a little more nerve-exciting.

oh. here's my courses.

fundamentals of public education

general psychology

intro to geology

fundamentals of public education (again, but this time the lab instead of the lecture)

canadian literature

anthropology (tuesday/thursday, so not such an issue since those two days are virtually free)

and then intro to geology (lab version, a half hour walk to do a rock lab for 3 hours. how exciting?)

i really want to swap that intro to geology for an online astronomy course. it should work out pretty okay, if i can work up the nerve to go talk to my advisor. i'm so scared of everything. hence the medication for anxiety, panic disorder, and ocd that i'm not taking.

i'm off the medication i was on. i'm confident that i don't need it, that i can handle life without it. but i brought my last few pills with me just the same, even though i absolutely refuse to take them unless absolutely necessary. and if they're necessary...i'm probably not ready for this.

well, another hour to kill until floor meeting? i didn't get my books today, but i can pick them up tomorrow. not before my first class though, which worries me. i'm always worried about something.

although, they say that education majors should get macbooks, that they're highly recommended, though not necessarily mandatory. i've got an HP tablet from a year ago. it's getting kind of old and slow, and hiccups frequently, but the part that'll make me stand out amongst my peers the most is the failing obnoxiously loud fan. i mean, they won't know that i'm running hot enough to burn myself if not protected by two layers, but the fan is distractingly loud from two rooms away. i've got to get to financial aid and see if i can get a student loan for a macbook.

but anyway. so tired. haha. broken record, i know. time to kill, time to kill.

don't think i mentioned that my best friend and i are dating now. we've been best friends for something like five years now and just decided to give it a try on new years. it's so much better than i expected :) i've honestly never actually wanted to be a girl's boyfriend before, but i take great pride in being able to call myself her boyfriend. it feels kind of childish and embarrassing, but i'm completely blown away by nice it feels, and how little i expected it. of course, the downside is that its bound to be a long-distance relationship until i can transfer somewhere closer since it'd be something like a six hour drive to visit now that i'm up in orono, maine.

but still, im happy, and i've got my fingers crossed for tomorrow.

that's right, me.

I slept through the call initially (since it's so close to second semseter, they're skipping the whole letter things) and I had the biggest feeling in the world that that was happening while I was asleep. but anyway, I woke up, listened to the voicemail telling me to call back, called back and got the news.

I'm supposed to go pick up somethings and get my ID tomorrow, orientation/move-in on sunday, and probably end up starting classes as a Secondary Education major on monday.

not much time to pack, right? and, this is basically my first time ever really packing to live somewhere else as opposed to go on vacation for a few days. I'm kind of pretty glad that I don't exactly have a lot of personal belongings. It's mostly my game/anime collection that'll take some coordinating to get together, but I, luckily, have a biiiig disc folder with the majority of my games and DVDs in it already.

I'm a little excited.

another year down.

but, um, well...so far, I've been sober this year. skills, right? I'm going to work hard on being able to say that one year from yesterday.

happy new year again :)