First off, before addressing the entry title, I must give one final update on the Steam problem: my unnaturally slow dial-up connection gave me more than 4000 minutes to update Half-Life 2. Therefore, I am now selling Half-Life platinum collection (due to the fact it doesn't work on XP), SWAT 4 (breathtakingly dull after the first play-through) and Half-Life 2.
Also, I am now adding a (+R) to all journal entries that include a game review, and a fancy new subsection:
REVIEW: Destroy All Humans
VERSION: Xbox
After playing Destroy All Humans, I am very surprised it got such a low rating on Gamespot. The single-player campaign lasted a good 13+ hours, straight-through - each time I thought the game was almost over, another mission came up. There is a great freedom of movement; there are usually many ways to complete a mission goal. Much of the game reminds me of Grand Theft Auto; if enough humans are aware of your presence, your alert meter goes up, like the stars in GTA.
The story is fairly interesting, but not enough that you look forward to the next cutscene. You are the Crypto of the Furons - a species degenerated from constant war against other worlds. Apparently, the Furons were once related to humans; deep inside a human's brain are strands of DNA that connect the two species. The Furons exist solely because of cloning, and each generation is worse than the last; its up to Crypto to invade Earth and harvest the DNA from the humans' brains and repair his species. Crypto is guided by Pox, the overseer of the invasion, as he attacks several different cities and wreaks massive havok.
Now, Destroy All Humans isn't the greatest game in the world - it doesn't come close. The missions are fairly repetitive, and it gets old very fast. The weapons at your disposal aren't interesting after a few missions, though some are quite amusing - one particular gun overloads the human's brain and causes their heads to explode, allowing DNA to be collected. Still, with the exaggerated ragdoll physics, it is great fun to throw humans up in the air and watch them hit the ground with a crunch, or just fling them to and fro, listening to their screams of terror. If you are particularly sadistic, you can hurl enemies into the air and catch them just before they hit the ground, or smash them into the pavement repeatedly, or launch them into walls.
Using his psychokenesis powers, Crypto can scan minds, implant thoughts, extract brains, or simply pick up objects and toss them at will. It uses up mind power, so you must recharge or scan more minds to keep your abilities intact, especially so when you are disguising yourself from the enemy with the Holobob - you can take on a human's exact appearance and melt into the crowd. The missions aren't to tough or frustrating; it is usually very easy just to flee and let your shields recharge (Halo, anyone?).
Overall, Destroy All Humans offers some quick fun, great for a weekend rental. The repetitive gameplay and lack of multiplayer causes the game to become old very quickly.
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