1. You cannot swim

2. You must listen to every word said

3. Woman do not exist to fight, it is pure sorcery

4. You are limited to the amount of moves you do, remember this, you will be repeating them.

5. Your enemies fists are more powerful than any weapon in the game.

6. You lack the ability to do anything more than punching and blocking when being a man.

7. Homeless people are the scum of the Earth, you must grab them and toss them down a stairwell.

8. You can never use any logical stealth moves. Just walking, or running. Or running like a madman. It's your choice.

9. Woman are strange, I know.

10. TYPING IN CAPS WILL GET YOU RESCUED. cryptic messAgeS will alSo help

11. House of Pain's Jump Around is the soundtrack to Assassin's Creed, with it's Irish Styled hip-hop.

I'm sick, so I need Slorg to walk the dogs. Freaky needs to feed my cats. And hmmm.. Someone needs to read me a bed time story. lzorro can do it.

Somewhere in West Philidelphia, you will find an old basketball court with a single ball lying in the middle. Pick it up and start shooting hoops. After a while, a small group of hooligans will approach you and challenge you to a fight, which you must accept.

After the fight, you must go home and relay the events to your mother. She will then inform you that you have an aunt and uncle living in one of the districts of Los Angeles, and out of fear, she will send you to live there for an indefinite period of time.

With your bags packed, go to the street corner, and whistle for a cab. The cab that will pull up will bear the word FRESH on the lisence plate, and upon closer inspection, novelty fuzzy dice will hang in the mirror. Although you will think that cabs like these are rare, don't say anything about it. At this point you MUST point out in front of the car and say 'Yo homes to Bel Air'. You will stop in front of a mansion, and it will be somewhere between 7 and 8 o'clock, even though it will feel like you've been traveling mere seconds. Get your luggage out and say 'Yo holmes, smell ya later!', but do NOT turn back to face the cabby. Walk up to the door, look over your shoulder once, and then knock on the door three times.

If you follow these intructions, your life will get flip-turned upside-down.

I totally want him in that special kind of way :3.

Just because slorgie screen capped it.

Slorg King
Yes

Yeah, sounds good.

It's everywhere now, sheesh. I can't believe you.

No one special. That's all.

Yes, I wish a very merry christmas to all who visit my blog.

Tep made this for me (DJPulserfan)

I'm currently listening to Cage.

He's good, check him out. Horrorcore Rap.

If the sea shakes like an empty maraca
I know [x4]
and she falls in love with the sounds of ships sinking?
I know [x4]

Which peacock is beast? Which peacock is priest?
If the heavens part and nobody, nowhere, nothing,
every apartment is vacant, every home for rent?
Hey Peacock?
What's that?
I just want to know what your feathers are made out of.
Is it bruises or roses or cradles or coffins? (It's all those!)
Which peacock is beast? Which peacock is priest?
If your friends are all cripple, all wither, all wilt,
I know [x4]
and you smile at their pain on your angel bone stilts.
I know [x4]
Which peacock is beast? Which peacock is priest?

If the brick you throw puts a bullet in your skull
and a police boot lands atop your gaping jaw?
Hey Peacock?
What's that?
I just wanna know what the babies mouth is full of.
Is it flies or cries or straw?
Which peacock is beast? Which peacock is priest?
Which peacock's police? Which peacock is thief?

If machine guns come knock, knock, knocking
Who's cashing out your bad luck?
If wedding bells sound like death knells baby
is a wealthy groom worth all this gloom?
If tuxedos slither off corpses
and copulate wild on wedding cake
and the priest starts snapping photos?
There's a peacock on your shoulder
pole dancing around your neck
while reciting the Book of Revelation.

So who do you love?
Who do you trust when your friends take a match to your front lawn?
A panicked face makes the peacock proud.
So who do you love? Who do you trust?
Who do you kill when your senator drags out your first born?
A panicked face makes the peacock proud.

If the forests turn to static and the gnarled branches, too?
I know [x4]
Your body starts to fall into a concrete tutu?
I know [x4]
which peacock is beast? which peacock is priest?

If you strike for better wages at the cola factory
and they drink champagne as they kick in your teeth?
Hey Peacock?
What's that?
I just wanna know what his blood tasted like.
Was it like sugar or vinegar or whiskey or dirt? (It's all those!)
Which peacock is beast? Which peacock is priest?

If machine guns come knock, knock, knocking
Who's cashing out your bad luck?
If wedding bells sound like death knells baby
is a wealthy groom worth all this gloom?
If tuxedos slither off corpses
and copulate wild on wedding cake
and the priest starts snapping photos?
There's a peacock on your shoulder
pole dancing around your neck
while reciting the Book of Revelation.

Things are never what they seem, the peacock's static melodies.
The peacock spreads its crooked feathers. [x4]

So who do you love?
Who do you trust when your friends take a match to your front lawn?
A panicked face makes the peacock proud.
So who do you love? Who do you trust?
Who do you kill when your senator drags out your first born?
A panicked face makes the peacock proud.