Well, I seem to have too many people on my friend list since I make a point of trying to comment in every blog in sight. So here's the rub: I can't keep all of you. A few of you may be immune to getting the axe (I hope you know who you are), but for the rest of you, this is how it will work. If you comment in this blog post, I won't delete you from my friend list. How does that sound?

Back in black!

I hit the sack!

I've been too long and I'm glad to be back!

Maybe you remember me, maybe you don't. But as of now, that's your problem. Because I'm back from being a POW in Australia, after I was transferred from Canada. Yes, these two peaceful countries have hatched a plot to overthrow every other country in the world with the use of yellow water pistols manufactured in Mexico.

But what has been going on? Secret things. Very secret. But not much has changed, although now I have Firefox over Internet Explorer, which is a huge improvement, by the way. My computer continues to deteriorate into an even greater state of crappiness, Giant Bomb.com bores me although it has a better review system, and I started watching The Daily Show and Scrubs and the new season of Burn Notice. Oh, and I now realize how awesome Journey is.

That's all that's changed, though. Same old End Boss, same old. But the most important thing is that the king has returned. The king of what? The king of rambling on in a blog that could have easily gotten to the point in the first sentence.

I will most likely be gone for a very long period of time. It's been fun here, and while I'm not gone completely, don't expect any further activity on my part for a considerable amount of time.

Sorry, Nintendo. Your channel sucks. For those of you who own a Wii, you may have noticed the Nintendo Channel launched a little bit ago. And that it sucks.

See, the Nintendo Channel is one big advertisement hub, although that's not necessarily a bad thing. You can watch the videos for many different Nintendo games on there, and even get some recommendations for yourself, or recommend games to others. So far, it sounds pretty good, doesn't it? That's what I thought, too.

But then it sinks in. Most often, the only videos available are information videos, some of the most generic advertisements I've ever seen. If an actual trailer isn't available, be prepared to muddle through this garbage. A man in an overly friendly voice will explain in a montage of game clips what the game is about and what you can do. These are absolutely, positively some of the most boring game videos I've ever had the displeasure to watch. And they barely hold up! They would freeze up more often than I would like, and I would find myself starting the video over again just so I would be able to watch it. The information videos aren't bad-quality, but videos not made specifically for the Nintendo Channel are. I tried to watch the Super Smash Bros. Brawl videos, which were the actual trailers shown at E3 and other events, along with the Solid Snake and Sonic announcement trailers, and their quality was terrible. Everything was jagged and out of focus between the frequent freezing-ups. There's the issue of variety with the videos, too. It seems that Nintendo hasn't taken the time to actually search out the actual trailers for some of the games on here, instead making the God-awful information videos or having nothing at all.

And maybe I wasn't doing it right, but whenever I decided to set more specific parameters for getting game recommendations, nothing came up. What had the potential to be a great system of finding what game is right for you is, instead, a broken pile of crap.

The only shining light in here is the DS Download Service. It turns your Wii into a hub for downloading demos for the DS, like you may have seen in some stores. And shockingly enough, it actually works well. I was able to download and play the Apollo Justice and Brain Age demos without a hassle. That's more than I can say for the rest of the channel, unfortunately.

Pick a webcomic, any webcomic. In about 99% of them, you'll notice one thing: there are more balloons than at Richie Rich's birthday party. This is why webcomic artists are idiots (and if any of you out there happen to be webcomic writers, the only way you could possibly make me apologize is to show that you haven't made the same mistakes.) Comics are a visual medium first and foremost; if I wanted to get some humor out of a ton of writing, I'd read a humor column. But I'm looking at the comics page in the newspaper, so there should not be enough text to make a Webster's dictionary blush.

This is what you'll notice about comics in the newspapers. Unless the comic is meant to be funny because there's a mountain of text, you won't see a Mount Everest of words. Webcomics are the "War and Peace" of the funnies; they simply have too much text. Words are good. If they weren't, I'd be out of a job.

Paintings are a visual medium. Imagine if Leonardo Da Vinci decided to write little notes on the Mona Lisa; "Observe how the background here is raised more than the other side." And he continues to explain why in roughly two paragraphs. Is that a good idea? No it is not. While comics are built almost equally on words, words should not grow a funny mustache, put on a red arm-band, and proceed to start a death campaign against pictures.

Webcomic artists are morons. Why? Because they write too much. If you need to write a seven-book series about a black-haired wizard with ginormous glasses who suddenly becomes emotionally unstable from the fifth installment on just to make the comic funny, your comic sucks. Throw it out and start again, and make sure there's about 95% less dialogue. Problem solved, Ctrl Alt Delete.

Well, first thing's first. I got to writing another review, which is of 5 Days A Stranger. It's a horror-themed adventure game designed by Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, who you may know as the man behind Zero Punctuation. I gave the game an 8, because I really, really liked it. The review can be found by clicking on the above image, and you can download the game here. I'd like some feedback on my review, too, if you don't mind.

My announcement would be this: sorry, but I'm not longer going to be writing my blogs in their previous format. I'd like to get blogs up as often as possible, and those ones just take too long to make. It was fun while it lasted, I guess.

And here's the random story. Some time ago, I was with my family going to see Monster House at the cinema. The theater was basically empty. We had our popcorn, our drinks....the whole she-bang. We were ready to see the movie, which I had heard some good things about from friends. Well....remember when I said the whole theater was empty? A group of people came in, and out of the whole entire theater, do you know where they chose to sit? Directly in front of us. A whole empty theater, and they say to themselves "let's sit in front of somebody." Now, I've never met these people but let me say this: if I could post a picture of my middle finger without getting busted by the mods (that includes you PAJ, darn you!), I would. Seriously, this is the very definition of being completely and utterly stupid or just plain rude. Had half a mind to ask them why, of all places, they had to be in front of us. In retrospect, I probably should have, too.

Well, I deleted my previous blog post since I had the text at the wrong size, so it was rather huge for no reason, really. Anyway, this is just a small blog post to show you my review of Bully: Scholarship Edition on the Wii, which I gave an 8. I'd really appreciate feedback on this one (both good and bad), since I tried to review it differently, structuring it on what I experienced instead of saying what you're going to experience. I didn't give it a read-through, so please let me know if there's any errors. Right now I'm busy putting Psychonauts into the format of my previous blog posts, so doing both at the same time was out of the question, on account of Psychonauts taking so long as it is.

Here's the review.

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I was bored, okay?

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