(Yeah, the Wii puns have been done to death, but I was feeling left out.)

Even after two consecutive lackluster Sony Computer Entertainment keynote addresses, I am still more likely to go with a PlayStation 3 than an Xbox 360.

It's about the games, of course. Heavenly Sword, Heavy Rain, Eyedentify and Untitled Naughty Dog Game (working title) are PlayStation 3-exclusives, are of great interest to me and do not (yet?) have Xbox 360 equivalents.

By contrast, many of the high profile Xbox 360-exclusives are shooters, a genre in which I have no interest. Gears of War and Halo 3 could be the best games ever, but I still wouldn't like them.

There will be Xbox 360-exclusive titles I will want, but my experience owning a PlayStation 2 and GameCube (and a Dreamcast, but that one doesn't count; I bought it after it was discontinued) has taught me that there will not be enough to justify owning two game consoles that do little to differentiate themselves from one another.

And the it's about the games isn't just about next-generation games. I have a large library of PlayStation and PS2 games. With an Xbox 360, they're useless. A PS3 would make it possible to continue playing them without first taking an old console out of a drawer and connecting it to my television set or having too many boxes permanently in my TV stand, with the added advantage of upconverting the graphics to high definition. (Argue backwards compatibility is overrated all you want; I'm still playing Street Fighter Collection 2 and Bomberman Party Edition after all these years.)

So it's either PlayStation 3 or Xbox 360, not both, and unless most of my anticipated PS3 games turn out awful or there's something spectacular for the 360 that isn't a shooter that comes out of nowhere, it looks like I will choose PlayStation 3 (after the price drops to something reasonable).

The Wii's modular, motion-sensitive game controller; unique game catalog and less powerful hardware do differentiate the console from the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360, so I can justify a Wii in addition to one of the other two.

But not at launch. With only white--I hate that color, and it looks terrible in my TV stand--Wiis available initially and other colors expected later, I will wait until it is available in black--I like that color perhaps too much--before I buy. As much as I want a Wii (a lot), I am not repeating my white DS Lite at launch, black DS Lite 3 months later incident. It isn't worth the money.

That and what I've spent on clothing in the last few weeks could have paid for both a PlayStation 3 and an Xbox 360.

Banana Republic, why do you have to be so expensive?

Mama said I made the perfect sandwich.

Nintendo announced today that the Wii will be available only in white at launch.

"This simplicity allows us to maximize volume throughout the Americas with simplicity and a continuous flow of product to minimize out-of-stocks," says Nintendo of America President and Chief Operating Officer Reggie Fils-Aime.

This is great for Nintendo and its retailers and distributors' inventory management and the few consumers who have entertainment centers or TV stands that work well with white products, but for most consumers a white Wii is an appliance that sticks out in a bad way.

Surely there will be Wiis in other colors eventually. New colors are a way to reverse declining sales of a  product. Nintendo has used this technique with previous hardware and has displayed Wiis in multiple colors at earlier press events.

But is restricting the Wii to a single color at launch a good business decision for Nintendo?

We expect the Wii console to be released in additional colors at later dates. How many consumers will choose not to purchase Wiis at launch only because they want theirs in colors that are not white?

I might be one of those consumers. The Wii's unique motion-sensitive, modular game controller has made me more excited about the console than I have been about any game system since the original Nintendo Entertainment System, but I don't want to pay $250 for a white Wii only to later lust after a black one, possibly spending an additional $250 to end that lust.

Either Nintendo moved up the North American release date of the Onyx (black) and Coral Pink DS Lites from September 13 to today or earlier or the EB Games in Chicago on Webster and Clybourn is selling them before it should, because I bought a black one today.

I had owned a Polar White DS Lite since June. I don't like white, but it was the only color option on the continent at the time and there were too many DS games I "needed" to play as soon as possible, so I ordered one from an Internet retailer.

I questioned whether this was a good decision from the beginning. Surely the DS Lite would be available in a color I liked at some point. And surely I would be angry when that happened.

And was I ever angry when I learned Europe would get a black DS Lite-a color I liked--in addition to the white one at launch.

That anger soon turned into lust. I like black, perhaps a bit too much--people complain that they almost always see me wearing black clothing. (Oddly many of the same people ask me for fashion and design advice.) I "needed" a DS Lite as soon as possible, but I would trade in my white model for a black one as soon as the latter was made available in North America. (I thought about importing a black DS Lite, but decided the high price, lack of support from Nintendo of America and need to purchase a North American/Japanese-style AC adaptor separately made it not worth the trouble.)

So today I walked to the nearest EB Games to trade in my Polar White DS Lite for an Onyx one.

I am satisfied. My new shiny black DS Lite looks classy. Even with the more easily seen fingerprints and lint.

And unlike the EB Games in San Francisco on Powell, the employees at the EB Games I went to were a joy with which to to do business. They answered the phone when I called; they answered my questions immediately and politely; they even more or less discouraged me from buying the extended warranty as they asked me if I wanted it--probably because I brought my white DS Lite in its original packaging, including the second stylus, all instruction manuals and plastic bags.

If this EB Games weren't a four mile walk from my home (and another four mile walk from the store back home), I would shop there regularly.

Oh, and if you decide to sell your GameCube to EB Games, don't forget a GameCube controller. They won't take it without one.

Darwin's theory of natural selection, survival of the fittest, doesn't work when a species has no natural predators. Smart people think before having sex and therefore have few children; stupid people don't and have many children. If this keeps up, the human race will be nothing but idiots.

Such is the premise of Idiocracy, the new live-action comedic movie directed by Mike Judge (of Beavis and Butt-head and Office Space fame). By the year 2505, all humans will be unable to make intelligent decisions. The economy will be in ruin; crop fields will be barren; ever-growing garbage dumps will avalanche; the most popular television series will be a reality show about a guy getting hit in the crotch by various objects; the most popular movie will be Ass, which is nothing but a close-up of just that (and will go on to win 8 Oscars); the people will speak in a mix of hillbilly, valley girl and urban slang and the President of the United States will be a professional wrestler and porn star.

But there is hope. Joe Bowers (Luke Wilson), an army librarian who has done nothing with his life, and Rita (Maya Rudolph), a prostitute; guinea pigs in a forgotten 2005 military suspended animation experiment; are knocked out of their hibernation chambers during a garbage avalanche. They are of average intelligence by today's standards, but they're the smartest people alive in 2505.

Joe, thinking he has been in suspended animation for only a year and unable to get answers from the local population because all they do is mock the gay (read: proper) way in which he speaks, goes to a hospital assuming he is hallucinating.

A hospital receptionist, with the help of push-buttons with pictograms on them, directs Joe to a doctor. Discovering that the weekly porno magazine in the doctor's office and his hospital bill are both dated 2505, he soon realizes when he is and that he is not hallucinating. The doctor, basing his analysis on the way Bowers speaks, disagrees and panics and has Joe Bowers arrested when he (the doctor) finds out he (Joe Bowers) has no bar code on his arm. Joe's court-appointed lawyer, Frito (Dax Shepard), doesn't understand that he is supposed to defend his client and takes side with the prosecution so Bowers is convicted and goes to jail.

Rita has better luck than Joe. The people of the future, being stupid, always want sex and are always willing to pay for it. She is able to use the temptation of sex to get money out of them (without ever having sex). Still, she doesn't like the future.

Joe escapes from prison by using his wits--he tells a prison guard that he's served his term. He finds Rita and has Frito direct them to the time machine in the local Costco. Frito knows the layout of this Costco well; it's where he went to law school.

Joe is caught again before he and Rita make it to the time machine. Instead of going to jail, he is sent to the White House where U.S. President Camacho (Terry Crews) appoints him Secretary of the Interior. It turns out Joe received, by far, the highest score on the I.Q. test in history. In a speech that would fit in well at a professional wrestling match, the President tells the American people that Joe will fix the economy, have crops grow in the fields and rid the country of its now tumbling garbage in a week.

Of course Joe doesn't know how to solve any of these problems. He doesn't know what the Secretary of the Interior does; he's never even voted. Fearing retribution, Joe claims he will go after the crop problem first so he can get outside in hope of reaching the time machine at Costco. Here, Joe discovers fields are irrigated not with water, but with a sports drink--it has electrolytes; plants crave electrolytes. Joe knows how to solve this problem.

After multiple failed attempts to explain to the rest of the President's Cabinet that plants do not crave electrolytes and need water to grow, Joe tells the Cabinet that he can talk to plants and they say they want water. The plants get their water (from toilets), but doing so makes almost everyone unemployed as the computer that runs the sports drink company--which employs the majority of Americans--lays off almost everyone after sales and its share price plummet, all before a single plant sprouts out of the ground.

Joe is sentenced to one day of rehabilitation: a combination of monster truck combat and wrestling. He is given a small, flimsy car with a limp, rubber phallus-like object blocking his view. His three opponents have armored trucks with large drills and guns, and their muscles are bigger than his own.

Describing any more of Idiocracy would spoil it.

A movie like this can easily lapse into an everyone whose opinion differs from my own is an idiot or I'm more cynical than you vibe. Idiocracy, fortunately, does not. There is social commentary, but it is never preachy. Idiocracy is comedy mocking stupid people and the things they like. It does this well. You will laugh at the stupid characters for their stupidity and for them laughing at stupid things.

That is, if you can find a theater playing Idiocracy. It is a limited release that has recevied little publicity so it probably will not expand.

People complain about $60 video games, but I don't have a problem paying that much for them.

In fact, I wouldn't have a problem if $70 were standard price for video games. (More than $70, we'll see.)

This is not an Americans should have to pay as much for games as the rest of the world rant. I am an American. I have lived in the United States my entire life. And while I live in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in the country, I try my hardest to make it one of the poorest.

I have no problem paying more for video games because I am discriminating in what I purchase. Unless a game significantly improves upon or greatly differentiates itself from what I already own, I don't buy it. Even if it is a good game on its own merits.

Take, for example, Jak 3. Yes, it's a good game; yes, it's a better game than Jak II, but it isn't a significant improvement and it doesn't differentiate itself from its predecessor.

It's games like Jak 3 that convinced me last year to significantly cut back on the number of video games I buy. Why should I spend money on games just like the ones I already own, especially when I don't have enough time to fully play them all?

Answer: I shouldn't.

By purchasing fewer games, I can spend more time playing and enjoying each one. And they're all unique (or, at least, better) experiences now.

If a game is worth $50 to me, it's worth $60 or $70 to me. No more waiting for games to drop to $20. I buy only the best games now, so if a game isn't worth the full price it isn't worth buying at all.

If the video game industry were to release fewer games but put more resources into making those fewer games good and also put more resources into promoting those fewer, better games, I think others would feel the same way.

But the $300 limit for game consoles still applies, so no Xbox 360 or PlayStation 3 for me for some time.

Nintendo announced yesterday that black and pink DS Lite handhelds will be released in North America on September 13.

I lust for a black DS Lite, and will probably buy one as soon as it is available in this part of the world.

Even though I bought a white DS Lite in June.

I don't like white products. I buy them only when there are no color alternatives. Since the DS Lite was (and will continue to be until September 13) available only in white in North America, I bought a white DS Lite.

And while I was sure DS Lites in colors that were not white would be available in North America sooner or later, there were several DS games I "needed" to play as soon as possible, which meant buying a white DS Lite.

This will not be the first time I replace video game hardware with video game hardware that does the same thing. Last year I traded in my original PlayStation 2 for a slim PS2.

But there are differences between my PS2 repurchase and my upcoming DS Lite repurchase.

There were four years and multiple price cuts in-between my PlayStation 2 purchases. I am about to buy a new DS Lite just three months after my first one, and at the same price.

Not to mention my slim PlayStation 2 offers advantages over my old model. The new model is smaller, lighter, quieter, has built-in networking and can be turned on and off with a remote control.

All a black DS Lite will give me a over my white DS Lite is a color I like.

There ought to be an alternative. Xbox 360 owners can replace their faceplates with ones in different colors or patterns. Portable game systems, which by nature owners want to better claim as their own, should have similar options.

Street Fighter II: Hyper Fighting for Xbox Live Arcade's easy to unlock CPU Battle feature, allowing a player to play one match against a computer-controlled opponent of his or her choosing, is a difficult to unlock feature in Street Fighter Collection 2 for the original PlayStation.

The release of Street Fighter II: Hyper Fighting for Xbox Live Arcade rekindled my interest in Street Fighter II, but since I don't have an Xbox 360, I played Street Fighter Collection 2 for the original PlayStation--which includes Street Fighter II Turbo: Hyper Fighting and the two previous Street Fighter II games--on my PS2 with the Disc Speed option set to Fast.

Viewing GameSpot's hints & cheats page for Street Fighter Collection 2, I discovered the games had CPU Battle modes that could be enabled by finishing each game's single-player Arcade mode without losing a match.

The Xbox Live Arcade version of Street Fighter II: Hyper Fighting requires only finishing the game's Arcade mode once to unlock CPU Battle, apparently regardless of how many matches the player loses, according to an Xbox.com interview with producer Alben Pedroso. 

After a week of playing Street Fighter Collection 2 I had CPU Battle unlocked in all three Street Fighter II games using Chun Li, my best character.

Chun Li's airborne spinning bird kick off her head stomp is one of the most effective defensive maneuvers in Street Fighter II Turbo: Hyper Fighting--the spinning bird kick could only be done on the ground in previous games--so I use it often. And since Chun Li says "spinning bird kick" every time she performs a spinning bird kick, I hear "spinning bird kick" often.

Rather, I hear "spinning star kick." Publisher Capcom may claim Chun Li is saying "spinning bird kick," but after fifteen years of playing Street Fighter II, it still sounds like "spinning star kick" to my ears.

And I am not the only one who thinks it doesn't sound like "spinning bird kick." Back in the day, the official Street Fighter II strategy guide, produced and published by GamePro magazine, claimed Chun Li was saying "spinning round kick."

It wasn't until now defunct magazine Video Games & Computer Entertainment ran a humorous feature on what the Street Fighter II characters were saying that someone (in English, at least) claimed that Chun Li was saying "spinning bird kick." The feature noted that the official Street Fighter II strategy guide got this wrong.

This came with controversy. A reader wrote to the magazine insisting Chun Li was saying "spinning star kick."

It wasn't until a hidden option in Street Fighter II Turbo for the Super NES to enable and disable individual special moves was revealed that anyone could be sure Chun Li was indeed saying "spinning bird kick."

So why does it still sound like "spinning star kick"?

Regardless, I wish I had known about Street Fighter Collection 2's CPU Battle feature years ago. Countless single-player Chun Li vs. Vega (the Spanish matador/ballet dancer/yodeler, not the Thai drug lord) battles in Street Fighter II Turbo: Hyper Fighting might be the most fun I have ever had playing a video game.

And the only thing that could make it better is if NubyTech's apparently cancelled wireless fighting pads were released.

"Well, better get back to work on that top secret Beetle Juice game!," ends the August 1 entry on Double Fine Productions' news page.

If true, this is the first public announcement of a new game under development at Double Fine, developer of the critically acclaimed but commercially unsuccessful Psychonauts.

If true. Double Fine could be mocking the rumor Tim Burton will direct a movie based on LucasArts' 1998 computer adventure game Grim Fandango, produced by Double Fine Productions founder Tim Schafer in his previous job at LucasArts.

Tim Burton directed the 1988 movie Beetle Juice.

Double Fine Productions has not responded to an e-mail asking to confirm or deny this rumor at this time.

UPDATE: Not surprisingly, it is a joke. Double Fine's "Info Cow" writes, "All I can tell you is that you should try to be more skeptical of the things you read on the internet. :)" (Emoticon and uncapitalized spelling of "internet" in "Info Cow's" e-mail.)

The official Anthrax Web site is reporting that "Madhouse," from the 1985 Anthrax album Spreading the Disease, will be part of the Guitar Hero II track list.

This is a terrible choice by publisher Activision.

It isn't that "Madhouse" is a bad song. It is indeed a good song. The problem is it features Joey "Belladonna" Bellardini (Anthrax vocalist; 1985 - 1992, 2005 - present) on vocals.

John Bush, who took over as Anthrax vocalist from 1992 until last year, can sing and write, unlike Joey Belladonna. And Bush's voice better matches the darker, more serious tone the band's music started taking in the early 1990's.

By nature, a John Bush Anthrax song is superior to a Joey Belladonna Anthrax song.

Yet Activision chose "Madhouse," despite that it is not a John Bush Anthrax song.

Which Anthrax song should Activision have chosen for Guitar Hero II? "Crush," from the band's 1998 album The Threat is Real. It is the perfect song.