There are now 4. Count them, FOUR PC games on my tracked and wish lists.

In no particular order:

Diablo III
Starcraft II
Spore
Space Siege

The last of which merely caught my interest this morning - but it made me think..

"Man - I hope PC games find a way to make a comeback"

It's not that I don't enjoy the consoles - I do...they're easier to deal with, the controller doesn't really change - no upgrades, or outdated drivers to mess with. At the same time though - I miss playing a good RTS game - or pointing and clicking in Diablo dungeon crawlers amassing loot because you can. I'm not pining for the old days or anything, but I'm getting burned out on console gaming, I want to change it up. I actually tried to find my old Diablo game the other night. I didn't - with my luck it's buried in the back of the storage closet under the stairs. Never to be seen again.

Maybe I'll go pick up Diablo II to sate myself.

w00t.

-------update---------

I went out last night after work to Best Buy and bought the Diablo Battlechest - Diablo, Diablo II and it's expansion all in one.

I loaded up the first one, just to see how well it held up.

Graphically : Not well at all. By comparison the pixelated mess on my screen was barely recognizeable by today's standards.

Gameplay wise : the game is as solid as ever - and that it much more important. Sure there are a few things it could benefit from, like, I dunno... a RUN option... however, mercy and forgiveness can be given, because for god sake, it's over a decade old. It terms of technology, thats like... the cretacious period or something. So now I'm playing Diablo, to break up my GTA'ing and Lost Odyssey'ing.

By the way - don't think I haven't noticed you bastards that don't comment. You know who you are.

I'm coming for you. :evil:

This is not your daddy's rubix cube. Oh wait.... yes it is.

So I got to thinking today about all the stupid crap I used to do as a kid.

Mostly because I came across an article about how toys in previous decades, by today's standards would be considered weapons of mass destruction by many of the modern day mommy's and daddy's out there. By comparison - I suppose there is some truth to it.

I never wore a helmet riding my bike around, knee pads? What for? Remember Pogo Balls?

No? Well then you probably suffered a head injury while using one. I know I did.

This makes me think that maybe my toys were the tools of my stupidity. I mean, c'mon... Lawn Darts?

Ages 8 and up, because remember kids: It's not a felony until you're 18!

So I guess the message is figure out who you don't want to see at your high school reunion by the end of 2nd grade. Then you'll have at bare minimum a solid 10 years to stick 'em.

Not that I wasn't able to overcome my desire to misuse these sorts of objects - I was never one for violence, but I have to say the temptation was there.

Don't even get me started on croquet mallets.

I had a chemistry set, which I guess was standard issue for strapping young men at the age of 6, just discovering the delights of chemicals.... And seeing what happens when you mix them together randomly. All I remember is the brownish stuff and the grayish stuff mixed in the water together and heated make the little glass beaker explode.

So, surrounded by all these tools of idiocy - what do I do?

I did what every kid did. I played with the box until I got bored, then tied a towel around my neck and ran around outside.

Here's where things get blurry though - I (somehow) got myself up onto our roof, and with the clever use of an umbrella, jumped off. I remember being surprised on my way down that I was not floating gently to the ground, but rather crashing into it at roughly 80,000 miles per hour. Instead of learning from the experience - I figure I must have done something wrong. MAYBE.... If I just had a running start.

Yes. Great idea. :roll:

So once again poised on the roof, I prepare to launch myself. I count my steps backwards, *bonus!* I'll be running down at an angle, so there's some extra speed for me. It was about that time my mom came looking for me, as she had neither seen nor heard me in 10 minutes, which meant I was up to something.

I never did find out if the running start would have helped me or not. I expect it would have.

The point is kids are going to do stupid stuff all the time. Some of them, like in my example above, more than others, and more often... Hell, I STILL do a lot of stupid stuff - yet the degree hanging on the wall in my office says I have an education and am supposedly above trying to propel myself down a hallway in a rolly chair with a fire extinguisher. HA.

Anyways - what brings all this rambling up is on my lunch break this afternoon, I went to grab a sandwich at this place not too far from my office. Good food and they have an awesome outdoor patio with the misty cooler thingies. I love those. Anyways, what compounded my thoughts on my childhood and the stupid crap I did was this: as I sat at my table munching away, mother and kids come up. Kid 1 wants to race Kid 2 to the door. It's all of 10 steps from their *groan* minivan.

Then mommy chimes in with all the wisdom of a misspent youth.

"Do NOT race. You'll fall and skid your knee then we'll have to go to the hospital and you'll get an operation!"

This was not said in jest. She was literally SCARING her children out of racing. Is this what modern parenting has come to? Traumatizing the kid so they'll never move faster than their favorite stuffed animal?

I didn't catch what else she said on the subject as they had made it inside without killing themselves, and successfully placed an order with no casualties. They exited, and sat at a table behind me. My back was to them, but at least one of them was getting antsy... Not content to sit quietly and enjoy the nice safe meal before him, he asks if they can go to the park and play on the swings after lunch.

Before you go "awwwwww! Family moment! Get the camera!" - bear in mind who is doing the writing here... I don't DO Kodak moments.

"Absolutely NOT! You'll get TETNUS from those CHAINS!"

Really? Tetnus. Why not throw some polio into the mix? I had a screaming case of the bubonic plague just last month from a swingset. I thought it was this stripper GodMode sent me, but no.. it must have been the swingset. :evil:

I understand the parental instinct thing I guess - don't want the kid to go fall down a well - but damn. If you don't want to take the little seed to the park, that's fine. Say you can't. You're busy. With other more important things. At least then when they're in therapy 20 years from now they can just say "mommy didn't love me." At the rate those two were going they're not going to know what's going on. "My mommy loved me a whole lot... but she really hated parks.... And anything made out of metal."

"What?" says therapist Joe.

Yes. I just referenced blind date. Shoot me.

That kind of control over a kid is just going to make them into one of those people... the ones that just go beserk at college, finally free from the overbearing parents - they drink themselves stupid then end up on a *insert gender / group of people here* gone wild' video.

I guess I'll never understand the thought process behind this kind of parenting... my mom kept as close an eye on me as she could - but she couldn't be there 100% of the time. That's just life. I made plenty of mistakes, scraped my knee, burned myself on the stove, came home covered in mud, and I ran around barefoot in the rain.... No this isn't a country song. I did all that stupid crap and lived. I had FUN. Why can't they? I CONTINUE, as I said earlier, to do stupid stuff and manage to survive (and have fun)... maybe it's BECAUSE I poked dead things with sticks and played football in the street. Who knows where my awesome powers come from? Not me.

So, rather than subject myself to being witness to the murder of someone's childhood - I sprung into action.

That's right. I did what I do best.

I got up and left.

Another victory for apathy! Huzzah!

And now..... Monkeys.

One more item - One of our fellow Gamespotters, KellyMae has been banned. I'm not 100% on the reasoning behind it - something to do with an homage to George Carlin's 7 things you can't say on tv, but twisting it to poke some fun at Gamespot.... frankly - even if she had typed it all out word for word in it's original uncensored entirety (which I'm positive she didn't) - considering how often she posted, and the general polite tone of the majority of her posts. I think banning her was in the excess. Yeah I know the ToS agreement and blah blah blah - no need to get all crazy quoting e-scripture at me. Or throwing the potential precious snowflakes that could be viewing such horrendous content. I'm just saying that given her usual demeanor a full out ban seems more a needless retaliation than a well-reasoned moderation. Gamespot gets a LOT of traffic, despite being, by FAR one of the most restrictive sites I can think of. Considering that in this same window I can unleash a torrent of boobage with a couple of clicks - a few asterisks here and there seem pretty mild. Even if they are making fun of the great and powerful Oz.

*spooky sounds and fire*

May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008

George Carlin is probably one of the reasons my sense of humor is so demented. I have enjoyed his standup since I first saw it, sneaking into the living room as a child late at night to "see whats on" - I'll admit it - I was hoping for boobies....He is one of the few comics who got funnier every year, instead of going stale. He made it okay to laugh at the tactless, and raunchy jokes that everyone loves to hear, but have to pretend they're not amused when they're heard, depending on the company. He attacked children, and religion - and loved to offend the ones who took him too seriously, and I loved to watch.


I'll miss him, along with many others I'm sure.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25322638/>1=43001

Mood: Apathetic

Dark. Like the inside of a coffin on a moonless night.

My life is like a wadded up piece of trash in a waste paper basket.

Alone.

I'm so depressed I bleed black.

As you've probably already guessed, I've been playing 'Iron Man'. The reviews you've read about this game aren't anywhere near accurate. Not that they don't try. You see, this game is so *bad* there just aren't words for it. Sure you can break it down piece by piece, the voice acting sounds like the actors all phoned it in after a 3 night bender with Downey, Jr. himself. The controls are a confusing broken mess that makes a Ford Pinto feel like a BMW... The story or "plot" if you will - is a convoluted mess. There is an old saying that says "put enough monkeys in a room with a typewriter (like I said... old saying) you'll eventually get Shakespeare." Well - the writing team on Iron Man was fresh out of monkeys. I've played my share of movie-games, and I never expect much... but like the battered women on the lifetime channel I continually, and to the wonderment of those than observe my stupidity, subject myself to this abusive bastard genre of the video game world. I always think "it has seen the error of its ways! It won't hurt me again!" then I show up to work with a black eye and an excuse about stairs or fences or someone's angry hamster.

I rented it because I literally thought to myself ... "it can't be THAT bad... It's Iron Man - the movie was awesome, how could the game not have at least SOME awesome in it?"

I really tried to play it... but the game is so horribly imbalanced that it's nearly impossible. I got probably ½ to ¾ of the way through. When I quit, I was honestly just hoping I was on the last mission, but last night, after failing the same mission for the 15th time in a 30 minute span, I threw in the towel. The game was shoved into Blockbusters drop off box this morning on my way to work, and I hope I never see it again. Ever.

.... and breathe.

Okay - next item. Spore. **** you.

I've been wanting this game like I wanted Jessica Alba before she got prego'd. The new Creature Creator hit the market this week and I was all over it. I notice as I'm bringing my $10 demo up to the counter of my local Gamestop - 'Internet Access Required to Play' I inquire to the kid behind the counter. "What's all this about, I thought this was an opt-in online game?" My concern stems from the fact that I do not have online access at home as I'm always at work anyways - where I have internet that doesn't cost me anything, and I've ranted plenty on my hatred of online multiplayer.

Anyhow, he informs me that the online is only required if I want to download other peoples content to my game or upload my own to the 'Sporepedia' or whatever it's called, otherwise I don't *need* it. "Very good then sir!" I exclaim in my oh-so-perfect imitation of a British accent. I then skip out to my car in great anticipation of at last messing with this editor I've been reading and hearing about for the last 4 years. I put in my registration code, install it, and then try to run it.

No go.

Suddenly, I'm cast back in time some 15 years ago.... My first real computer that actually had sound and a cd rom, with a color screen, et cetera. I remember how almost every game I installed required hours of tweaking to get it to run... setting IRQ's for the audio, manually activating a DOS mouse driver, changing settings on the cdrom driver.. it was always a nightmare - but the payoff was oh-so-gratifying. I no longer possess the skills or patience to do that...Granted the problem that presented itself to me couldn't be fixed by means of "tweaking" but it definitely reminded me of the endless barrage of seemingly futile problems I used to run into one after another.

"Could not detect internet. Check your Connection and try again."

Or something to that effect... you evil vile sinister corporation EA! I curse you! So now, if I want to play with my $10 demo of *PART* of a game that won't be released for another 3 months, barring further delays, I have to be prepared to drop another $850-900 bucks or so over the next year on an internet service contract for a game that I have been led to believe for the last few years won't require it to play, only to enhance. Yet because of their "t3h pirat3s r gunna git us!" software, I, a legitimate customer, have to suffer. As an accountant, it's my job to see the full cost of a purchase immediately... when I'm told this, I estimate that $10 for the demo, 50-60 for the full game on release, and internet service and initial $50 "set-up" fee Comcast likes to screw it's customers over with, the first month of play will have cost me about 200 bucks, and the internet that I never wanted in the first place will be costing me 70 a month over the next year, plus taxes, equipment "fees" etc.

I appreciate the fact that piracy has to be curbed in some way - but if they think crackers and hackers or whatever they call themselves won't get past that in a week or two, they haven't been paying attention. It sucks that paying customers, along with those that are also less tech-savvy are punished because they can't come up with a better way to keep their game from being hacked. I'm fine with them requiring a game to be registered - but they should have added a phone-in registration option.

So I guess I'll be getting internet. God I hate myself sometimes. :evil:

Well, I'd like to say this blog is going to be filled with tales of the drunken stupidity that you have all come to know and love about me, but it's not. Fear not though - I managed to get plenty drunk anyways on my trip. Like I said before... I -AM- the party. :D

So, let me start at the beginning - but first I have to explain something. In a former life I pissed off the god of Airplane seats. I must have - because my luck on airplanes is so bad it has to be the design of a higher being, amusing himself at my expense.

Wednesday: I worked all day - in fact, I busted my @.$$ - trying to finish up as much as possible so as not to leave a ton of work for when I returned. Seemed logical enough to me anyways... After work, I went out and had some drinks with my boss. His girlfriend showed up and got mad at him for drinking on a Wednesday, but he promptly pointed out that I am, in fact, the devil.... And she knows I'm pretty persuasive when it comes to having a good time out. So she sat with us and had a few drinks before remembering she was mad and left in a huff. Funny how that works.... The night then transitioned into

Thursday: About 2am I stumble into my place and go immediately to my liquor cabinet and break out a fresh bottle of Crown. I cranked the music and proceeded to indulge in my hookah. The flavor was a mix between vanilla and orange... which actually turned out to be pretty good - despite my drunkenness. It is now 3:30am. "Crap - I haven't packed yet" 5am "I guess I'll pack now." So I collected a random assortment of clothing and shoved them into a bag. (Seemed like a good idea at the time) I then returned to my drink and hookah. 6am "I'm pretty tired... but I should probably just stay awake until I get on the plane otherwise I might not wake up in time for -" 7:14am My mom was calling my cell over and over again she was outside waiting to take me to the airport. Whoops. I then ran (read: stumbled) through my house collecting everything.. wallet, keys, cellphone, ipod. "WHERE THE HELL IS MY IPOD!?!?" I didn't find it. :evil: The trip to the airport was uneventful, as was the waiting to board. I took my seat at last.. window seat. Over the wing. As always. "Figures." I say to myself. I then proceed to pretend I'm not incredibly uncomfortable. Then I realize... "I'm hungover." And I want nothing more than to get off the plane and lay down in a cold dark room with no sound. If you've ever been conscious as a hangover slowly claws it's way through your body, you know how truly miserable it can be, and you can't tell how bad it's going to get. During the flight I was maintaining pretty well, and for the first time I wasn't seated next to Darwin's nightmare version of human de-evolution. It was a pleasant older couple who were really just nice as could be, a first for me. Too bad I was hungover balls. When the lady got up to go to the bathroom, I took my chance to escape and bolted for the back of the plane and proceeded to conduct the time honored traditional ceremony of removing as much of the alcohol from my system as fast as possible. (For the naïve and inexperienced - I went and threw up - You'll learn) I immediately became all sunshine and happiness for the remainder of the 4 hour flight. On the ground in San Jose, feeling fully rejuvenated and ready for the day, my friend picked me up at just after 10am. (I lost two hours on the flight over - or as I like to call it... I time traveled. Flux Capacitor FTW) Our first stop was the liquor store, per my instructions.

We also drove to about 6 other liquor stores looking for tiny bottles of alcohol to throw in gift bags for the bridesmaids... we didn't find them. After that, it was time for lunch, and whenever I'm in California, I like to knock a few years off my lifespan by visiting In n' Out Burger. No trip is complete without the I-n'O. Good stuff. The rest of the day and night was spent drinking crown, and playing Mario Kart wii.

Friday: Considering I had not slept in over 24 until the night before, the fact that I woke up at 7am both confused and angered me. I then realized it was actually 9am my time. So I felt a little better. However if you've ever slept at anyone else's house and gotten up before them, you know it can be a little on the awkward side. So I took a shower and hoped when I emerged someone else would be alive. It was about this time I realized the clothing I had hastily packed in my drunken state left quite a bit to be desired. I had a ratty pair of jeans, 4 dress shirts, a pair of socks, a couple pairs of boxers; no t-shirts, no slacks, and the airport guy stole my toothpaste, and shaving stuff. So I went downstairs looking like a transient. Where I was met by ALL the bridesmaids... There's a great first impression. I made friendly with the conversation then promptly excused myself, borrowed (stole) my friends car and found the mall where I dropped 300 bucks or so on new clothes, and another 40 or so on the basics, razor, shaving cream, aftershave, deodorant, toothpaste. All the stuff airport security man took from me. Bastard. :evil: Back at my friends place I shaved, brushed my teeth, and changed into my new threads, thus allowing me to look slightly less like a guy he found on the street. We then proceeded to run around doing "wedding stuff" all day. I keep it vague here because I have no clue for the what and why of it all. After getting fitted for my tux it was kind of a blur until we were sitting in the church. I and the other 4 groomsman were sitting quietly as they were running through the ceremony. It was about that time I and 2 of the groomsman, along with the best man started cutting up like those kids who sit in the back of the cIassroom in high school and just get a kick out of themselves. We began to giggle like school girls. Much quoting of Wedding Crashers ensued. Afterwards it was strait to the rehearsal dinner, where I led my table of rejects to be the loudest, and most entertaining group there. Suitibly drunk on red wine, we had the time of our lives, and I got in good with the whole wedding party, and it was nice to have a group of people to hang with, which I don't get to do anymore. After that it was to a club in downtown San Jose called 'The Vault' where we had bottle service the whole night. 3 bottles of greygoose and redbulls later, and after a 900 dollar tab we called it a night.. well... most did. My friend (about to be married) his brother (the best man) and myself somehow ended up walking aimlessly around downtown trying to find a cab. Geoff and I were giggling endlessly and trying to push each other into various trees and bushes, while the best man was less than amused. We got home about 4:30 in the morning.


Saturday: This was supposed to be the designated recovery day. We were ALL feeling it. Somehow the bridesmaids rallied together though at 8am and did things with flowers while I sat with a blank cold stare on the couch. I wasn't really hungover, but exhaustion had caught up with me, and frankly being cheery was not high on my priority list. I didn't want to take a nap, thinking it'd be rude. About noon, I decided well screw it, I'm going to take a nap. Then a knock at the door. Groomsman #4 (the one who doesn't like to take part in the other groomsmans shenanigans comes in. Girlfriend in tow. I have nothing against either one of them, but they were pretty tired from the night before, and his girlfriend wants to lay down. The only available bed is mine... and I, being the gentleman, delay my own much desired and needed naptime for her sake and give up my room to her. 2 hours later she wakes up, and I begin my ascent up the stairs.. as soon as I lay down, in comes my friend "Hey dude get dressed, we've gotta go meet my parents for lunch" .. after some empty threats from me to reduce everyone in the house to ashes, I eventually dress myself and find a vehicle to sit in. More running around for wedding stuff, and finally I crashed into bed around 10pm.

Sunday: The wedding day. The Groom, Bestman, and Groomsman are all ready. The photographer comes, and we stand around posing for an hour. Pretending we're getting ready. Even when tuxedos are involved, ladies, we're still ready to go in 20 minutes, max. We arrive at the monastery on Santa Clara University. We go hang out in the back, lamenting the fact we were not yet drunk. Finally we got everything under way, and during the ceremony, as with the rehearsal, me and one of the groomsmen start whispering "Corenthians 3:19! 20 bucks!" "you're on" ... and now a reading from Corentians.. something something, then "we got a cryer, double or nothing" and sure enough the bride cried. If only I had meant it, I'd be 40 dollars wealthier right now. Oh well. The reception was fun, despite having no "real" alcohol. Wine and beer. However I am a professional drunk and made due with the wine. Good music, good friends, and just really a great time overall.

Monday: The time had come for me to leave. I was not looking foward to the flight home. I wasn't hungover, maybe a little tired. I just knew my flight there was just too uneventful. There was no way I'd get that twice in a row. Nonetheless I sat at the airport, watching, waiting. Finally the flight boarded, and on I went. Window seat, right over the wing. As always. The seats next to me weren't filling in though. I started thinking "wow, MAYBE I'll get this row to myself! that would be so awesome... well - thats not likely.. no better not think that." after about 10 minutes, still nothing. Then I started thinking " MAYBE a really, really hot girl will sit next to me and flirt with me the next 4 hours! That would be even BETTER!" - because hey, who couldn't use an ego boost?

Then I heard it.

The blood curdling cry of a whiney child coming towards me. I looked out my window "Oh please, airplane god, have mercy on me, I'm begging you!" .. then, as if I'd signed a contract with Satan himself, I got what I wanted. The kid did not sit next to me. His 400 pound mother did though, and he sat on the aisle seat. Kicking, and making a fuss about who knows what. "why airplane god to you detest me so? why why WHY!?" The plane was then delayed and sat on the runway for an hour. During this hour, this family (belonging to the 400 woman next to me and one of her offspring) broke out the BK. I'm not a huge fan of fast food to begin with, mind you. I'm not one to talk about the merits of nutritional value or anything, I just usually prefer something that I don't feel like crap after eating it. Although when I'm in a hurry or just need some quick food, hey - they don't call it fast food for nothing, and I make exceptions for things like I-n'O. So I'm not an innocent. HOWEVER, This armada had with them a giant bag of burger king - and it smelled like it had been in someones car trunk for a week. Gag me. I stared at my wing wanting desperately for the ground beneath it to go away so I could be on my way home.

Finally we did take off, but my adventures with Bigfoot and co. were not over. Next up on the "Annoy the hell out of Aaron to-do list" was to break out a bag of questionable fruit. This stuff smelled straight up rancid. Like if you throw something away, and forget to take out the trash immediately afterwards - and then you smell it a couple days later. Pure evil. When they finished it, I had pretty much come to the end of my sanity. Remember, I'm extremely OCD, being in close and constant contact with someone who has some obvious sanitation deficiencies is NOT easy for me.

But wait, It gets better.

So about halfway through the flight, it's time to break out the inflight snack. A small salad and a little cheese pizza with a twix bar for desert. I get my food, and I'm not suprised when my inflight friends take what is essentially their THIRD meal in two hours, but now it's time to involve Aaron. As I quietly ate my salad, trying desperately to think about being at home and not where I actually was I hear a voice to my left. "I can have?" Ignoring it, I continued to eat my salad. Then again, louder this time "I can have?" I sat back and looked at my neighbor, pointing excitedly at my unopened cheese pizza. "I have?" I am momentarily shocked and unable to speak, so for a FOURTH time, she says "I can have?" Seriously, who DOES that? My upbringing, or maybe just my understanding of society simply FORBIDS this conduct between complete strangers. I put my hand over my food and, as politely as I could mange, informed her that I have every intention of consuming my meager in flight snack. She seems to accept this fact and momentarily concedes her defeat. After I've finished my meal, my trash neatly tucked inside the box it all came in, I have nothing left but the twix, which I didn't really plan on eating, but it was sitting on my tray. Then once again, like returning to a bad dream after you wake up for a few minutes, calm yourself down and drift back to sleep - "I can have?" This time the pointing finger is directly in my line of sight. I think for a moment that perhaps I'm on one of those hidden camera shows where people **** with someone until they find their breaking point. Without a verbal reaction of any sort I picked up my candy bar and ate it in one bite. No. you can't have. Begone.

The flight was finished up with the kid kicking the seats and the grand finale of his mom letting him CLIMB OVER MY LAP to look out the window as we made our descent into Houston. I know what you're thinking... how did the kid make it past her stomach. Well. I'm here to tell you... he didn't. He just brought it with him. Think 'Along Came Polly' basketball scene.

If anyone wants me, I'll be taking a shower for the next 2 years.

Roads? Where we're going we don't need...roads.

This time tomorrow I should be landing in California for my friends wedding. I will be staying in an extremely overpriced hotel, where I'm sure I will gorge myself on room service that will cost as much if not more than the room itself. Since this little break of mine doesn't really allot for much "fun" time - I'm going to make it wherever I can, and if that means I splurge a bit on things I don't normally get, i.e. tiny bottles of alcohol and room service - then so be it. Plus I have an ability to be a horrible influence on even the most pure of souls. So I know that by Friday night I will have my best friend / soon to be married monkey, clinging for dear life to a spinning bathroom floor. That's how I roll.

I feel like I should leave you with a mild rant - I actually got to witness this a few weeks ago, then read about it on various boards and blogs on occasion that just scream at me to slap them with a fish.

Why is it that so many gamers have no patience with cut scenes and story/plot development? If you've seen them over and over again, fine. I have no problem with that... but if you've never played the game before, wouldn't you.. I dunno.. like to KNOW what's going on? Point in case:

Idiot "Gamer" A: OMGz! Dis game iz t3h sux0rz ! It doesn't even make sense! What iz going on?

Gamer B: What do you mean what is going on? What doesn't make sense? It's all there all you have to do is play the game.

Idiot "Gamer" A: all u can do iz run all aroun da lvl! Sooo boring! Y rnt there ne objektives//?1!?

Gamer B: The cut scene before the level starts tells you exactly what you're supposed to do.

Idiot "Gamer" C: kutseens are for sheep!

Idiot "Gamer" A: yeah! I don got time for that! I skip them becuz they are t3h gaey!

Gamer B: You are t3h ******* idiot. Please go find a busy street and blend in with pavement. Do it for your country.

Obviously I've embellished quite a bit here, but this is actually based on a thread I saw sometime back, and it has haunted me ever since. I think it was God of War, or maybe Shadow of the Colossus.. I forget. It's a small thing, why should I care that some kid is too stupid to play a video game? On the other hand, it's that kind of thing that makes it so damned tempting for a publisher to throw minimal funds to a developer to crank out some story deprived mess of button mashing stupidity that floods the market; Which, in turn, gives more reason to crank the price of quality titles higher just to keep them out of the kiddy pool... (That's the one that is that odd shade of yellow) Not saying it's something that could happen all at once, only that it's just one plausible (I think) outcome. It's always been something that has bothered me though, people that skip through that kind of thing. I remember when I was younger, whenever I was playing multiplayer at a friends house, or my house or wherever - they'd always hit buttons until whatever was happening on screen would go away, where as I, the odd man out, actually wanted to watch / read whatever was there. It wasn't ever enough to just skip though, there were also the additional comments along the lines of "screw this crap - I don't want to listen to this!" That I'm WAY too cool to enjoy the story attitude which just bugs me.... I often couldn't wait to be on my own so I could enjoy the game at my own more thorough, albeit 'slower' pace.

Imagine being in a theater, watching a movie. The main character starts to lay out the master plan to his cohorts.

"First we're going to need - .."

It cuts off then you see them all walking triumphantly away from an explosion.

Why? Some kid in the back hit the skip button because he wants to see something blow up. No time for plot. Busy busy busy. Things go boom = gud.

I'm a bit of a gaming snob I guess. I cherry pick from the best, and if I don't like it, it is relegated to the shelf... or if it is REALLY bad... *cough* twoworlds*cough* It goes right back to the store and is replaced with something sexier.

So like a wine snob who stands aghast at the uncultured swine chugging down a fine cabernet like its cheap beer - I feel sort of the same way about video games... and top shelf booze. Enjoy it, you paid for the damn thing, you may as well get your moneys worth, rather than skimming though things then complaining about not understanding something. If that's what you want to do fine.. but keep your mouth shut when you end up confused... and also keep your 50 year scotch chugging to yourself.

Sidenote:

ESPECIALLY booze. Don't ever, EVER waste alcohol in front of me, I will not stand idly by. I will kill you with whatever object is readily available. Even if it's just a stalk of broccoli.... I've done more with less. Or maybe I'll just sort of mangle you a bit, then let GodMode have at you. It really depends on the alcohol.

:evil:

My God can beat up YOUR God.

Alright, once again - I find myself completely powerless against the sweet, sweet awesome that calls to me from within a game case. You can't tell really what I've been up to on my 360 since I turned off my internet at home, and my card no longer updates on here, but I assure you, I've been playing the hell out of Lost Odyssey. Anyways, this time, that case belonged to none other than GTAIV. I have not played a GTA game in years. The last one I played and owned was GTAIII for the PC. I liked it, but it was just... okay. Nothing about it stuck out to me though, and other than owning it, and a few blips of imagery across my memory, there's nothing else I remember. I got GTAIV last night, and as I suspected I would, I completely ignored the piles of paperwork spread all over my living room (I'm in the middle of a huge project for work) and played until 3am. I didn't even realize I had been playing for 5 or 6 hours straight. It has been awhile since a game has pulled me in so much that it makes me forget about time completely. That, ladies and gents, to me, is how gaming is SUPPOSED to be. I don't feel I need to do impressions on this game, the reviews both peer and pro I think are spot on in most every aspect. Reading three or four should cover you as for getting a feel for how good this game is for those that like the genre and this series in particular.

Now then, to the purpose of this blog, an anecdote:

I've been attacked and demonized by many religious zealots before.... But this has NEVER happened to me before... my gaming choices are damning me to hellfire, and burning brimstone. I hear things like this all the time... but never witnessed nor been a part of this particular argument. That argument is one we've all heard blasted all over the internet, staining it like so many sheets in a cheap motel.

"GTA IV is the DEVIL."

Granted that isn't exactly what was said to me, but that pretty much sums it up. I'll get more specific in a minute. I found it amusing because I had read several articles and blogs where this very thing is going on, and a lot of it comes from people who wouldn't know how to turn on the gaming console, let alone play the game itself, then of course there's Jack Thompson, but we all know that his credibility even among his peers went out the window some time ago. Some of it comes from, as stated in KellyMae's most recent blog, and incidentally, I find this segment of those whom "know better" to be the worst because of their nature. Gamers. Maybe not hardcore, or professional, or whatever label some of us choose to go with. Personally, I just call myself a gamer. It's my hobby, it's what I do, and thus what I am. KellyMae called this group hypocrites, and there is no better word for them. You cannot tell me not to do something, then turn around and do it yourself. Even worse, when they base it on supposedly superior morals borne from a religious view; to me, that is B.S. of the highest order. Especially when it's followed up by the purchase of the game or one like it that I have just been told NOT to purchase...

The following encounter was not between me and another gamer mind you, but definitely a hypocrite, and a big one. I'll run through a summed up version of what went down, and you can tell me who is bats*** crazy.

Standing in line, I have my copy of GTAIV in hand. In front of me, a lady, looks to be in her late 30's early 40's... in front of her, a kid probably around 19 or 20 making his purchases. It's generally quiet, the store is relatively small and the few customers around me go about their business. I'm thinking quietly to myself my usual thoughts...

"I shouldn't be getting this game yet - I'm never going to get any work done..."

"If I had a monkey - I'd make him learn how to play a banjo."

"This lady is kind of hot. Here's to you Mrs. Robinson.... Yeah I'd hit it. Like the fist of an angry god."

"Did I leave my cell phone in the car? I hope so... it's not in my pants."

"Where the **** are my pants!?"

... and so on in that manner until....

Lady: Excuse me?
Me: Yes?
Lady: You know that game is extremely graphic.
Me: haha, yes - I believe I heard that somewhere.

Lady: and you're still buying it?
Me: Well... yeah. I figure I should just go ahead and desensitize myself now. Get ahead of the rush.

Lady: Have you accepted Jesus as your personal savior?

*** In my head: "Ah, crap - here we go" ***

Me: ........
Lady: This sort of filth will damn you to hell! Only Jesus can save you.
Me: ........
Lady: If you buy it then you're letting the devil into your life.
Me: Ma'am, I don't mean to be rude, but... are you kidding?
Lady: Absolutely not!

*** at this point she has backed me out of line and is now having this discussion in the used Gamecube games section. ***

" hey.. they have Twilight Princess...."

Lady: You have to go to church and pray.
Me: Okay - I am not "of a religion" I don't go to church, I don't pray - this conversation is incredibly awkward.
Lady: So you worship Satan?
Me: NO. I don't 'worship' ANYONE nor ANYTHING. It simply does not appeal to me. I received my morals from my family, and I don't feel the need for faith in something other than myself. I just don't.
Lady: Jesus will always come to you if you ask him.

*** at this point I am looking towards the cashier, my eyes pleading with her for help***

Cashier: Sir, are you ready to check out?
Me: YES.
Lady: I believe I was ahead of you.
Me: Be my guest.... *eyes roll*
Lady: c'mon guys!

*** from NOWHERE - two kids pop out, maybe 8 and 12, or thereabouts, each holding a game. ***

Lady: Give them to the cashier so we can pay and go home.

"yes. Home. Go there. Go there and never leave. Ever."

*** The kids handed their purchases over to the cashier, and I half expected to see GTAIV as one of their choices - it wasn't but man that would have been sweet. ***

They were used games so she had to dig through the drawer to find the discs, while that was going on; I looked to see the titles they had chosen. One was a gamecube game - ChibiRobo, chosen by the younger of the two, and the other was a 360 game - oh, sweet blissful irony, thy name is 'Saint's Row'.

It was one of their generic boxes - so you didn't see the box art, which is kind of dead giveaway for what kind of game it is, and the lady was completely oblivious to the giant poster advertising Saint's Row II right in front of her. The one with the guy all tatt'd up, holding a massive gun in each hand.

I said nothing, and smiled evilly to myself. The girl behind the register caught my eye and help back a giggle herself.

Finally, the lady had paid, they were all done and bagged up, the kids each holding the games that their high and mighty mother didn't bother to get off of her horse to come down and look at what she was getting her pre teen son. Naturally she had to have the final word.

Lady: Remember what I said, and you'll go to heaven. Jesus loves you.

Me: ..... yeah... (ugh.)

So I had a laugh with the clerk, got my game, and came home.

This is a paraphrased version of what happened, mostly just the highlights, there was a lot more talk about Satan using me as a pawn, and how Jesus will show me the proper way to live my life... standard bible thumper speak. Nothing I've not heard a hundred times before.

Anyone who has read my blog for an extended time period knows how I feel about religion. I do not have a problem with people who ARE religious; you are both free and welcome to do whatever you wish with your life, I will never tell someone to change because we don't happen to agree. I don't appreciate those that feel everyone must curb to THEIR belief system, and call everyone else's wrong.

More to the point : Someone else's religious view should never have any effect on what I choose to purchase. ESPECIALLY MY GAMES. Leave them alone, or I will find you. :evil:

In closing, I do have to agree on one point, though my means to this crossroads is a bit more twisted logic than a testament to my moral standards.

GTA IV is, in fact, the DEVIL.

I haven't been the least bit productive since I bought it, and I blame Satan. :P

This is why it's a bad idea for me to be sober.

I am the only person I know that makes spur of the moment, ultimately bad choices when I'm sober. The reason for this is because I'm a pretty stubborn person, and I have a hard time changing my OWN mind without reasonable justification for an alternative. This first happened to me a couple of Christmas' ago. I wanted a new car... something I mostly talked about doing when I was drunk, but somehow I knew better than to do that, and by the time I woke up the next day, I had forgotten all about it. Sometime in early December that year, having been binging for like 3 weeks straight (literally being drunk almost every night) I decided to take a couple weeks and dry out so I'd be ready for Christmas and New Years parties.... In this time, I started thinking hard about ALL the reasons I should get a new vehicle, and couldn't sway my iron clad will. (Trait only active when sober) Ten minutes later I was driving home in a brand new Toyota Sequoia Limited, fully loaded. In hindsight, and SUV was a HORRIBLE idea. It's expensive by itself, and, happy day, it only takes premium fuel. You can imagine the obscenities that stream from my vocal chords when I'm at a gas station.

I find myself once again right in the middle of yet another self imposed 2 week alcohol break.

... and now I'm sitting next to a 47" Toshiba LCD 1080p something or other.

The moral of the story: Aaron should not be allowed to be sober. EVER.

On the plus side, my games look ****in' AWESOME!

This is left over from a crappy camera I had back in college (note the similarly crappy, recently replaced tv) :

Here's me hung over at some banquet a few months ago. I did NOT want to be there.

and here, more recently, is me being bored in traffic trying to go home (not unlike ET) :

Now everybody leeme lone! :cry:

I keep resizing the damn things and they won't stay. :evil:

I blame this entirely on GodModeEnabled.

Okay, so I've been tagged. I felt sure that this tag trend spreading through our blogs faster than some kind of mutated strain of influenza would somehow pass me by.

.... Buuut.. it didn't.

5. From age 4 until age 17 I was heavily involved in martial arts, I started in Kung Fu, and when I was about 9 I switched to Jeet Kune Do. I quit competing in 1998, but still practiced on my own until....

4. I was in a major car accident in March 2001 in which I broke my back. By November the medical bills had piled up, I had been laid off from my job, and my then girlfriend took off with all of my savings and most of what was in my checking.

Christmas that year I discovered Alcohol and hookah. I now have a fully stocked bar at all times with a minimum of 5 different flavors of tobacco for my hookah. Thus began my decent into drunken debauchery.

3. I graduated in December 2005 with a Bachelors Degree in Finance from Bauer School of Business at the University of Houston. I then left the file room and began moving up in my company bit by bit to get where I am now, which is a senior accountant. (Corporate Accountant mind you, I won't do your taxes.)

2. I am extremely Obsessive Compulsive... If I see a digital clock change, I count seconds until it changes again, and keep doing it until I time the minute exactly right. I count footsteps; my dishwasher is loaded in a very specific pattern. I'm a total germaphobe. If I hear a word pronounced incorrectly, I have to say it to myself over and over again until the need passes. When something really gets to me, I endlessly tap my fingers against my thumbs, and I get worse every year. The only thing that balances me out is alcohol.

1. I played the cello from 6th to 11th grade... (quit senior year because quite frankly I had had just about enough... chicks don't dig the dude with the cello) A couple of years ago I bought my first guitar and have been messing with that on my own ever since... I still suck pretty hardcore bad, but not as much. Plus the ladies like it. The cello is on display in the living room and serves as more of a conversation piece than anything. I think it's missing a string.

So there you have it. 5 completely random and useless facts about me; having thusly fulfilled my part of this ungodly ritual, I must now pass this gift on to 5 other poor souls so that they too may walk with the damned.

Zyxe

Garudoh

EdgecrusherAza

FoodThing00

Phantom_Leo

Also, my last blog is still active damnit, I'm not letting you guys off that easy! :evil:

... 'cause I gots definition, baby!


Lame ass jokes about my physique aside, I do have a legitimate question.

As you know I have yet to upgrade to HiDef TV... and that upgrade is still quite a way off. However, I make due. My question is concerning Lost Odyssey. How does this game do on SD? Specifically the parts where there's a lot of reading, and the text ingeneral. The reason I ask is because one of the first games I ever bought was Dead Rising, and I can't read ANYTHING on my 36" SDTV, rendering the game obnoxious. It was fun to play.. but not being able to read what I was supposed to be doing made it had to progress, and thus it landed on the shelf awaiting the day I finally make the jump to HD. (Again, still some time to go)

So if you have the game and play on an SD, or.. if you have the time and patience, along with the game and an old TV you use as a table.. could you see fit to throw this financially challenged gamer a bone?

Please? lil help?:oops: