Two days ago, I rode on the Durango & Silverton Scenic Railroad. It certainly wasn't the first time I've ridden it, and was one more steam-powered ride I could add to my dozen-plus total. But this time was...special. For the past two years or so, I've been fretting about what I was going to do with my life. I was the typical Higher Than Average IQ Joe who didn't want to do the things typically associated with higher than average IQs. I didn't want to be a doctor, certainly not a lawyer or a politician, and I didn't have the patience or will to be a computer engineer. I was stymied. But then, I went on the aforementioned trip, and on the D&S. It was being pulled by K-36 engine 480, which was a plus for me as I've always loved the 480 series. Afterwards, at Durango, I stood in the railyard and watched as she chugged in. She was beautiful. The smell of burning coal and steam, the clanking of the drivers and wheels, the chuffing of the boiler, the mournful wail of her Pennsylvania 3-chime whistle. And as I looked upwards, I saw the smiling man in the cab, who waved down at me as he rolled her on past. They say when you find the love of your life, or when you find the thing you really want to do, everything around you seems to cease to exist. It is only you, and that woman or object. That passing of engine 480, and the engineer waving down at me, was such a moment for me. I wanted to make steam locomotives and their railroads my life. Since then, I've gotten in touch with several steam locomotive operators and railyard workers, gathering information on what I must do in order to accomplish my goal. It is scarily doable. How can I describe how it feels to find your calling in life? How can I explain the sensation of truly knowing what you want to spend your life doing? To actually go from being that lone pre-K boy who didn't want to be a fireman or a doctor like the others, but proudly proclaimed "I wanna be a train engineer!", and actually start down the road to doing just that? I will not be able to live large off of the money I will earn...but dammit, I will love my job with all my heat and soul. And that is what is important to me. I think it's safe to say that, pictured below, is the thing I've loved more than any gorgeous woman or thing to date. Pictured below...is my life.

To all who were in my position not a week ago, worrying what to do with your lives...the answer is right in front of you. Take your passion, and make it your life. Peace.

"Gamespot's going down the crapper". That phrase has been said since the whole Kane and Lynch fiasco. Recently, however, it's undergone a revival, and now has more believers than ever before. How could anyone with common sense and pride defend the absolute joke that was this year's GOTY Awards? It was nothing short of an embarrassment, doing things like dismissing an entire platform and its games, and having one of the worst nominee lists ever seen. Many games were robbed of even nomination, let alone awards. What credibility (if there was any) Gamespot had in the eyes of many people after the Gerstmann-gate scandal passed has been shot to hell. I'd go so far to say that this year's awards were an insult to me as a gamer. SPIKE'S GOTY Awards show was better than Gamespot's. If that doesn't tell you that something is very, very wrong, I don't know what can. My faith in the reviewing industry as a whole has been irreparably damaged.

I'm an agnostic. I don't believe in divine entities at the moment, and I certainly don't believe in any of the creationist theories. However, I also know that I, a minuscule speck of an atom in the grand scheme of things, cannot really know how things came about. However, when I was an atheist (there is a difference), I met people of similar belief that honestly thought they did and looked down on those who questioned them. These are the militant atheists. You jerkwads are the reason I was ashamed to associate myself with atheism for so long. You make the other, more rational atheists pinch their nose ridges and say "I don't know him...really, I don't". You people truly confound me. How can you honestly think that your beliefs are automatically correct and that you are somehow 'superior' to those that don't share them? To put signs in front of nativity scenes proclaiming that anyone who believes the portrayed events are "blind misguided fools" isn't a decleration of your beliefs or an attempt to 'enlighten' others. It's you trying to cope with deep-seated self esteem issues and trying to make yourself feel better. There's proclaiming your beliefs to be heard and noticed, and then there's doing so with the sole intent of pissing people off and stroking your ego. You may not believe in God, or Allah, or Shiva, or who/whatever. But is it really so hard to put your bloated egos aside and respect those who do follow them and their teachings? You make me, and almost every other 'normal' atheist and agnostic, ashamed. You are all just as bad as the religious fundamentals you denounce, and I can only hope someone eventually knocks you all off of your high horses one by one in a humiliating fashion.

...Well, not yet, sadly. Nearly there, though. Just a few more lecture days, and then I take my finals (all non-accumulative, thank the gods). And after that, it's smooth sailings, save for whatever shifts at Office Depot I have lined up. I'll enjoy my Christmas with the family, and the day after hightail it to Colorado. My reason? Looky what I found amongst my grandfather's many, many train-related paraphernalia;

A genuine 5-chime steam whistle. Mind you, each tile you see in that pic is 1'x1', so it's big. I'm taking this puppy up to the Cumbres and Toltec Scenic Railroad, and hopefully have it screwed on to one of their locomotives. I hope it sounds pleasant.

Welp, thought it was time for a change of theme. I've gone from Code Geass/Sweeney Todd to...trains.

More specifically the Cumbres and Toltec Scenic Railroad. I've always loved steam locomotives of all kinds, even before I was two years old. That love remained with me, but it has recently undergone a resurgence of sorts within me, and it's back, stronger than ever. I remembered why I loved these timeless equipment pieces. They are, without any doubt, the only pieces of machinery that man has created that truly seem alive. One cannot understand this unless they have been around a fully functioning steam locomotive. The rhythmic thumping of the steam compressors sounds like for all the world a beating heart, and the steady chuffing of the boiler is easily passable for breathing. They also cannot be simply turned on. No, steam locomotives, like humans, have to be given some coaxing and encouragement before they get ready to work. Each one seems to have it's own 'preferences' even. For instance, the 488 of the C&TS can be 'woken up' best with some Colorado coal. If she's (yes, she) given any other kind, she gives a lukewarm performance. All five of the other locomotives on the railroad do not have this trait. It is things like these that make steam locomotives so fascinating to just about anyone. I've seen people who never really cared for trains as a whole stop and stare as a steam engine thundered its way across the tracks. They possess an allure that diesel engines cannot even dream of obtaining. People even find the smell that they put out favorable. And there is, of course...the whistle. It is every male's dream to blow one of these at least once before they die. Yes, you want to do it too. Don't deny it. Anyways...in short, I adore these things. :P

...are creepy. In every essence. They are particularly unnerving if they are in the path of a German bombing offensive and you happen to be a WWII squad leader who is on the verge of insanity and has vivid hallucinations whilst going through the dark, shuddering corridors of said hospitals. At night. Oh, did I mention that Brothers in Arms: Hell's Highway is totally awesome and you should get it? Just be sure to have a friend nearby when you get to the aforementioned level...

Is it not perplexing how one can still feel a sense of doom hovering about them the half-hour before an exam starts, no matter how much time they spent studying for it?

This week, I've been comparing the anthems of the various nations of the world. Yes, I have that much free time. Anyways, so far, my top five are as follows, with links leading to the anthems embedded in the flag images of their respective nations;

1) гимн Российской Федерации (Russische Hymne)

I know, it's no surprise I picked this. But almost everyone agrees that the new Russian anthem (which goes to the old Soviet tune) is kick-ass. It is triumphant, powerful, and you can feel the pride behind it when it is sung. It is also one of the few anthems that sounds great in both vocal AND instrumental form.

2) Hatikva

A moving, haunting hymn that is full of hope, determination, and strength. A fitting anthem for the beleaguered nation of Israel

3) Das Deutschland Lied

A pity this powerful tune will probably always be associated with the Third Reich, even though it was created long before Hitler was even born. I must say that I am surprised Germany did not do away with it (I am very glad they didn't)as it was the Nazi party that established it as the anthem, and we all know how touchy Germans are regarding anything Nazi-related. If you don't, give a 'sieg heil' in the streets of Berlin to find out. Just have an ambulance on stand-by.

4) La Marseillaise

The French are often mistakenly considered to be a weak, cowardly people. If they were, I don't think they would have one of the most violent anthems I have ever heard. Seriously,watering the fields with the blood of their enemies? Children getting their throats slit? That's pretty hardcore, as they say. Plus the tune is just great to hum.

5) Imperial March

...What? Why am I getting such weird looks?

The current conflict in Georgia has brought me to a realization. A sudden, shocking realization. The Russia most of us at Gamespot knew growing up has been replaced with the one our fathers and grandfathers had urine-inducing nightmares about.Gone are the Western-stooge leaders, gone is the third-world economy. The replacements for the stooges is perhaps one of the most influential and fascinating men to come onto the European scene in decades, Vladimir Putin. This ex-KGB official seems to know how to stir up the long-dormant nationalism in his people, and he has exercised that talent well. He also knows how to do things like, say, bringing plummeting economies back up in record-time speed and highs. Also, the guy is buff and is a Sixth Degree Black Belt (and also owns his own dojo in St. Petersburg). He also doesn't give two damns what the UN thinks about his actions. Clearly not the typical East-European leader we youngsters have come to know.Oh, and I know he isn't the President anymore. But, that really doesn't matter. Why, you ask? Because he appointed himself Prime Minister, obtained powers that had previously NOT come with said position, and got to place a hand-picked Medvedev as President. The way he didn't even bother to be subtle about this, and the fact he didn't NEED to due to the public's overwhelming support of him, is actually kind of, for lack of a better word, impressive.Speaking of soured economies, that is the other thing that has been replaced in Russia. Russians are now living better than they have in decades, and their economy hasn't even plateaued yet. Their considerable amount of oil has a large part to do with that, along with the economical reforms brought about by ol' Vladi. And with an economical rise comes a military rise. Russia seemed keen to show that this is indeed true with this year's Victory Parade in Moscow, which involved, for the first time since the Soviet Union, columns of military equipment. By military rise, I don't mean that the Russian military finally can give a sufficient amount of equipment to its troops once again, but the equipment itself is on the rise. A military modernization has also been in full-swing for the last couple of years. The former backbone of the Russian military, old, out of date Cold War-era equipment, are either being modernized to today's standards or being completely replaced with new equipment. And now Russia's giving that new equipment some 'field-testing' in Georgia.It may just be me, but I think I am seeing a bear that has been in hibernation for 27 years starting to wake up.

Remember when the PC fanbase was the envy of all SW? These people were not only adept at hardware, but also knowledgeable of the long history of PC games.,They were what one would call the SW equivalent of 'humble'. They'd only attack consoles when it was needed, they would hardly insult, and they would show more maturity than most Lemmings, Cows, and Sheep could dream of possessing. Sadly, the 'Noble Hermit' is on the verge of extinction, having been replaced by newer PC users who show a habit of doing things like;

1) Posting Crysis pics left and right and proclaiming it to be 'teh best game evar'

2) Calling consoles 'toys' with little to no provocation

3) Bringing the PC up and/or its games in a discussion than is clearly centering around the consoles and saying 'teh PC beats all teh toyz'.

Sheesh, I remember when I was proud to be a PC user...