So I go to EBGames at my local mall, like I usually do when I take my son walking in the evening. The clerk asks me if I'm looking for anything, and I'm really not, but just for the sake of it, I ask to look at the SFIV fightpad. I want to look at it up close, and I hear that the PS3 one takes AA batteries. What the?! While I'm looking at it, I jokingly ask, "You don't have any of the fightsticks, do you?" The guy says that they just sold their last SE stick, and asks the other clerk, "We don't have any of the TE sticks, do we?" I think this is a real naive question to be asking. The guy must have just started working there and really know nothing about games,but then the other clerk says, "We have one." I ask, "How is that possible?" It turns out that someone had pre-ordered the TE stick and then changed their minds. So, I have the rare opportunity to get a TE stick right then and there at retail price with no concern about pre-orders, shipping costs, shipping times, or further inflated prices.

The thing is, I wasn't planning on ever getting a TE stick. Figured it was way out of my league, and that a Hori FS3 would be more than suitable for me. But, I figured, this was a rare opportunity. I was in a unique position. And I was sick of using my PS3 controller! So, I bought it. I bought it under the pretext that it was both a father's day gift and a birthday gift from my wife, and that I wouldn't spend money on anything videogame related for at least two months (unless WipEout DLC is released!). And now I have a TE fightstick.

And now I gotta practice like crazy to unlearn the 40+ hours during which I got used to playing SFIV with a DualShock!

The last couple months have been awesome, gamewise. WipEout HD is supreme (just finished getting gold in all campaign races). SFIV has won me over (I recently celebrated my 100th online fight-although I've lost most of them). Even the Patapon 2 demo has provided hours (hours!) of entertainment. I've added SCIV to my roster of PS3 games. And I'm just holding myself back from blowing all my money on Mirror's Edge, Prince of Persia, LittleBigPlanet, Patapon 2, a joystick for SFIV and so on. (Plus, I just learned that SoulCalibur is coming to PSP! What a heavenly time to be a gamer!) Which is why I haven't posted anything lately-I've been too busy actually playing games. And having a freakin' blast doing so. Awesome.

Lately, I've become even more fascinated by game culture than ever: professional gamers, game strategy (e.g. the StarCraft course at Berkeley), game rage, online play with DCers and ragequits and hate mail (e.g. Bad Loser Wall of Shame), forum battles between DCers and anti-DCers, or spammers and scrubs, or turtles and scrubs, or skilled players and scrubs, or scrubs and scrubs (man, scrubs got some serious hate-on). All of it. I can't delve deeply enough into it to satisfy my curiosity. And I'm just stunned by some of what's going on.

In particular, game rage and hate mail and the anger that pervades forums have caught my attention. So much negativity tarnishing what should be such a positive experience: playing games. Playing. Not working or slaving, but playing. It's prompted me to start writing a response, trying to address the problem of anger. I find that it's a problem because the people experiencing it, the people getting angry when they play video games, needn't. It's not a matter of just accepting as a fact that everyone gets angry. It's not a matter of not caring what others think and that people are allowed to get angry if they want. It's a matter of everyone being entitled to enjoy playing games, and anger should not take that away from them.

Only, it seems to be such a tough topic for me to broach. And it means a lot to me. I experienced such anger myself as a teenager, as well as its alternative now that I am older and (fractionally/debatably) wiser, and I am having trouble finding the exact words to best discuss the matter.

For example, in the forum I've been visiting most recently, GameSpot's PS3 SFIV forum, there is so much negativity. It seems rare that new forum posts are not immediately jumped on with responses aggressively criticizing the poster for asking an invalidly stupid question, or for double-posting, or for betraying their noobishness, or for demonstrating their complete inability to spell and/or communicate. Not to mention for being immediately and indefensibly guilty of all negative stereotypes associated with their country of origin or any other demographic indicator. So-o-o-o-o much negativity. Where's the solidarity? Where's the "we're all gamers here: let's pull together" spirit? No, it's a lot of "I'm a true gamer because I think this way, and you suck and you're ruining the game because you don't." But I rant.

Oh well. I will persist with trying to broach the matter. Maybe even post something on the SFIV forum. And then read every last piece of hate mail that it generates.

I've only recently started playing online (e.g. SFIV, WipEout Pulse and HD, QuakeLive) and have found that it is fun, yes, but not always as much fun as I expect it to be, considering how high-demand online play is. I will continue to play these games online (and continue to get my butt kicked over and over and over again), and I will have fun doing so, but I am recognizing some perks to good old-fashioned offline play against computer-controlled opponents. In recognition of this increasingly underrated mode of play, I have compiled a list of 10 distinct advantages I see to offline, single-player play.

Computer-controlled opponents:

1. don't disconnect when they are about to lose.
2. don't refuse to challenge you by kicking you out of their lobby.
3. don't grow condescending because you do not know as much about a game as they do.
4. aren't racist, sexist, homophobic, vulgar, offensive, or ignorant.
5. can be adjusted for difficulty to suit your level of play, which can be increased incrementally as you improve.
6. can be paused if you need a bathroom break, a snack, or some time to tend to your crying child (does not apply to all gamers, I know, but I'm a new dad and this is key for me).
7. will not engage in flame wars or trolling on forums (although these things can sometimes be amusing to follow).
8. don't become enraged and break things and exhibit poor anger management.
9. don't have crappy network connections.
10. are ready to go 24/7 and don't dwindle in numbers after a game's release (I can rarely find people to race on WipEout these days).

Won my first (and probably only) match on Quake Live a few days ago. Awesome.

SFIV first impressions: This game is HARD. Sure, as a SFII veteran, I can pick it up and play, in the sense that I can hurl fireballs and pull off Ultra Combos with little difficulty, but there is much new stuff to get used to, and I am getting my butt kicked by the computer constantly-even on the easiest setting [update: by scanning forums, I've learned that there's a glitch in PS3 SFIV. If you install the game to the hard drive and install the update patch, the easy difficulty setting will become much more difficult. I've removed the hard drive installation, and the game has become much easier now on the easy difficulty setting. I'm suffering from less butt-kickage as I acclimatize to the feel of the game. Back to the rant.]. Zangief and Abel are constantly kicking my butt! I can't jump! I can't not jump! Gotta get used to jumping in SFIV (the jumping feels more like Mortal Kombat than Street Fighter). Gotta get used to focus attacks-punching someone in the face and then being punched back twice as hard before I'm given the chance to follow up. Gotta get used to throw cancel-the computer is throw-crazy. Gotta get used to losing a lot. Gotta get a stick, I think, or at least a 6-button gamepad. Gotta get good. Played one online match and lost (but only by that much [puts thumb and index finger close together.])

I don't know. Maybe it'll grow on me, but I'm not yet feeling that this is the best fighting game ever. Virtua Fighter still has me won over. Then SoulCalibur. And now SFIV and Tekken are duking it out for third. (I'm shocked to hear myself say that as I have worshipped SFII since I first played it in middle school. It's largely responsible for shaping the kind of person I am today: Street Fighter II encouraged me to take karate. Karate built my confidence and introduced me to Eastern philosophy. Eastern philosophy, including Taoism and Zen, made the world make sense to me and is now the backbone of my worldview.)

My new motto: After getting my butt thoroughly trounced many times over on Quake Live, including an embarrassing shut-out in a ten-minute duel, I've started using the phrase "Not afraid to lose" as my motto. Knowing that I'm far from the best player at any online game, I'd rather play through to the bitter end, giving it all I've got, and, yes, losing, than maintain the illusion of a stainless record. I've heard that it's been common for players to bail out of Street Fighter IV matches if they're losing as there is no penalty for doing so. That also happened a lot when I played WipEout Pulse. And I'm sure it happens everywhere online. If you're not gonna stick it out to the end, then don't bother showing up, eh?

I GOT STREET FIGHTER IV TODAY!!! I didn't let the fact that it was out of stock everywhere in Ottawa stop me from acquiring a copy (by patiently waiting for Amazon.ca to deliver) and now I can get in on the sweet fighting action! HADOUKEN! I am freakin' set! Time to get old school new-school-styles! (Not afraid to lose at SFIV!)

Achievements replacing unlockables: For a number of years (i.e. for a span of time that I am too lazy to bother properly researching) games predominantly had unlockables. Some still do, but largely now achievements and trophies are taking the place of unlockables, while unlockables are instead becoming DLC. Now, what used to become available through gaming achievement is only becoming available for money, while all we get for gameplay prowess are achievements/trophies. Achievements and trophies can give us a sense of pride and bragging rights, sure, but they do not change or enhance gameplay. Personally, I think that DLC should be content that significantly expands the experience of a game (e.g. new game modes, new episodes/levels) and not just the stuff that used to be unlockable (e.g. new character outfits). That stuff should remain unlockable. And I hope that developers continue including unlockable content in games, even though it sails between the Scylla of achievements and the Charybdis of DLC.

Speaking of DLC: A hint from Colin Berry on WipEoutZone indicates that DLC is in the works for WipEout HD! (Not afraid to lose at WipEout either!) As frustrating as I find microtransactions, I would happily pay for WipEout DLC any day! (Yes, I am a hypocrite... I'm not afraid of that either.) I am tempted to go on a PS3 hunger-strike, refusing to buy anything else for the system until WipEout DLC comes out. I think I will. Here I go. (In the mean time, I'll be playingSFIV until my three-decades callused thumbs are raw.)

(No PS3 price drop so far--maybe I lucked out.)

ai gots teh Pee-Ess-Thuhree! Woot!

My wait is over. I got a PS3. And Virtua Fighter 5. And WipEout HD. I am freakin' set.

That is all.

(And now, Quake Live can be called -uake Live because there are no more queue's! I'm eating my words from my last post: I am hooked on Quake Live-although I get my butt thoroughly kicked. And once stats and achievements are implemented, there will be no turning back.)

(And just watch there be a PS3 price drop next week. That would be totally sucks on me.)

The Internet now has everything real life has, including line-ups! In order to prevent server overload, the freshly-launched Quake Live beta site employs a queuing system where users watch a message reading "You are in line. Position in queue: 33046" [actual number taken as I write this] slowly counting down your gradual entrance to the free (a.k.a. advertiser-funded) browser-based fragfest game site.

But let me back up a bit.

A week ago, I check out the Quake Live site I have had bookmarked for months to see if anything is new. Instead of the long-standing page announcing closed beta testing, a teaser splash screen states that Quake Live is launching for open beta on Feb. 24, 2009. Cool! I always seem to miss launches and usually only hear about these things weeks or months later-this is something I want to follow. Something I want to be a part of.

The morning of the 24th the splash screen has a countdown timer in the top corner, ticking the seconds down to the 7 p.m. EST launch. I keep checking in from work, growing in excitement for the launch of Quake Live. It's been years since I've played an id game, but I remember spending huge chunks of high school and my undergrad playing everything id from Commander Keen to Quake II. Quake Live could reintroduce me to id where I left off: Quake III: Arena, the foundation for Quake Live, and I could try to resurrect my long-deceased deathmatch skills.

I get home from work at 5 p.m. and try to rush eating supper, washing dishes, and caring for my 6-week old son (I know, I am a rotten father) while keeping an eye on my browser as the seconds tick down to launch. I manage to finish cleaning up and I pass my boy off to my wife and I settle in at the computer with 2 minutes to go: 2:00, 1:45, 1:30, 1:15, 1:00; 0:45, 0:30, 0:15, 0:10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0. And then...

Nothing. I refresh my browser. Still nothing. I refresh it again. Nothing again. I check Quake Live on Twitter for updates. Nothing. Nothing's happening. So, I figure I'll go make my lunch for work tomorrow.

When I come back, at last, the site is live. Live, but slow and refreshing poorly. It takes several attempts to get the site to register my user name and password. Then, it takes a few more attempts to get it to accept my newly registered user name and password. Then, at last, as I think I am about to give Quake Live a try... I am placed around 10000th in line to get into the site.

I wait. I watch some Iron Chef. I check on my son. My spot in line doesn't really move. I try refreshing. My browser crashes. I try logging in again. Now I am placed 22000th in line. My son starts crying because he's hungry. I give up on Quake Live for the day. I go to bed.

My son wakes me up at 5:30 a.m. to be fed. I feed him. He falls asleep again, and then I think that no one will be on Quake Live at this time in the morning. Now's my chance! I try to log in: 3000th in line. Still in line, but it's a comparatively short one. Before too long, I am finally in!

I choose my character. I choose my controls and settings. I load up the test match that determines initial level and then... my son wakes up and starts crying again. I tend to my son. I feed him some more. I get him settled back down. By the time I get back to my computer, my browser has an error message. I must have taken too long to start my match! When I refresh, I am logged off Quake Live and have to log back in again. Again, I am placed in the queue. Again, I give up, as I have to get ready to go to work.

At work-not that I would ever play video games at work-I try to load up Quake Live, just so I can see what it's like for a few minutes. I log on. I am placed about 30000th in line. But, as I am at work, I let that sit in the background while I get some work done. After being highly productive for an unspecified amount of time, I finally make it to the front of the line, and I am in, and then... for some reason, my browser glitches and has to shut down. Foiled again! I don't bother logging on for the rest of the work day, but just check updates on Twitter now and then.

I get home, almost resigned that I won't be playing Quake Live this week. I place my laptop on my kitchen table, get in the Quake Live queue and then I get to making an elaborate supper while the queuing systems moves me through. In the hour it takes to make supper, I move from 30000th to 1965th and then, according to the Twitter update, Quake Live goes offline for half an hour.

By this time, I've been trying to play Quake Live for over 24 hours. It's past 8:00 p.m. EST on the 25th when I try logging on again. I watch Iron Chef while I move through the queue once more. At last, I'm in! My browser hasn't crashed! Quake Live hasn't gone offline! My son isn't crying! Here's my chance!

Once more I load up the test match. The training bot, Crash, welcomes me and tells me to follow her and... my mouse doesn't work. The keyboard works but the mouse doesn't. I can move forward and backward, and I can strafe, but I can't turn. Or fire. Crap.

I check out the forums-I see that other people have the same problem, but not consistently, and no solid solution is offered. I reinstall the Quake Live installer, restart the computer, and try again. Still the mouse doesn't work.

In a last ditch effort, about to give up, I try loading Quake Live through Firefox instead of IE. I go through the steps of loading the installer for FireFox, waiting in queue once more, and starting up a test match, expecting to have the same dead mouse (deadmau5?) problem as before.

But this time, miraculously, it works. I am in! After 26 hours of trying to start playing, I am in and playing Quake Live! (Who in their right mind would ever spend 26 hours trying to get a console game to work?) Or, at least, I am playing the test match. I manage to reach the advanced stage of the obstacle course by pulling off a rocket jump, something I'd never tried or even known of back in the day. I'd only ever heard of them. I only just manage to best Crash in the test duel. I am given some ranking based on my performance that will help Quake Live find other players of comparable skill to match me up against. I have no idea what ranking I receive. I don't see any numbers or a title like "flailing amateur" but I imagine that's about where I rank..

I'm not ready to play against a live player yet, so I play a practice match against a bot. Again, I only just gain the upper hand by the time the match ends. Before I can play against a live opponent, my son calls for a diaper change.

But now, at last, I have played Quake Live. And I ask myself: was it worth the 26-hour wait? To be a part of the early Quake Live experience, yes, it was worth it. The Quake Live site has some really cool stuff. It's apparent that id is going all-out with its sponsor-funded fan-service here. There are stats, leaderboards, achievements, ways to track down friends and opponents, forums. It's impressive what's being done. But I'm starting to remember why I stopped playing id games after Quake II in the first place: I got bored of FPS deathmatches. Spawn, Stock up, Kill, Restock. No diversity. No story. No character development. The only FPS I've even played since Quake II is Portal, and that's specifically because it breaks so many of the genre's conventions.

So, even though I feel the wait was justified, Iask myself, will I continue to play Quake Live? My answer is that I'm not sure. If I don't, it will have nothing to do with any lack of quality in the game, the site, or id's efforts. I commend id for what they are doing, and I am incredibly impressed. People who enjoy deathmatches will freakin' squeal over Quake Live. If I don't continue to play Quake Live, it's because, even after nearly a ten-year hiatus, I'm still just not that into deathmatches.

Oh, my son's crying again. Gotta go.

About two years ago, I got WipEout Pure for my PSP. At the time, I couldn't place any better than silver on any of the Zone tracks, as hard and as long as I would try. And it took me months to get those silvers. Zone was just way too hard for me.

About a year and a half ago, I gave up on Pure as I could no longer get any new medals. I got WipEout Pulse instead, and worked my way through that game, securing every last gold medal there was (including Pulse's Zone tracks, which I found much easier than Pure's).

Anyway, just recently, I went back to playing Pure to keep myself distracted until I finally get a PS3 and WipEout HD (sometime this year, maybe-here's hoping for a mid-year price drop!) and I surprised myself by finally getting gold on Zone. Not only that, but I got gold on all four Zone tracks in a single evening, pretty much on the first try each time (even with the disadvantage of being exhausted beyond reason from a 5-week-old baby). I guess a 30+ gamer can learn new tricks.

I am so freakin' stoked to get a PS3 and WipEout HD (and SFIV and VF5 and SCIV etc.).

Two specific events have really impacted my gaming experience so far in 2009. The first is that my wife so generously gave me Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (Game of the Year Edition) for PC for Christmas. It's an awesome game, and I expect I will get tons of fulfilling play from it.

The second, more significant event, one that will impact my gaming significantly for a long time, is that last week I became a father. I now have a son and, whether he likes it or not, he has changed and will continue to change the way I play games.

Games are my favourite way to unwind, and it's been my habit to play an hour or so here and there just to tune out, decompress, forget myself. With a newborn, it's been hard to find that time to play, and you might guess that having a new baby around is sometimes the kind of thing that you need to decompress from.

Don't get me wrong, I adore my son. Everything he does, from sleep to look curiously around at absolutely everything in the world to fill a diaper with a range of fluids, just makes me melt with love and affection. But, I can't deny that he's putting a cramp on my gaming lifestyle. (Yes, I know he's not doing it on purpose.)

In the past week, I've tried to get a game of Oblivion going on at least 8 separate occasions. On 7 of those occasions, I played about 5 minutes, enough to check my character's inventory and then either fight a couple of monsters or talk to a couple of NPC's before my son starts fretting and needs some attention. Oblivion is not the kind of casual game that can be played in 5-minute spurts. Even on the 8th occasion, where I had a full half an hour to play (my wife's aunt was over to hold the baby so we could unwind a bit), my experience was affected. I was never fully immersed in the game, as there was always a part of me that was listening carefully for my son's cry to make sure he's all right. I guess the coincidence of Oblivion and baby just wasn't an auspicious conjunction.

I know this won't last forever, but it's a new way for me to experience gaming. I know as he grows that my gaming will have to adapt to him and his needs. Whether that means that I play at night after he's gone to bed, or start playing E-rated games with him when he's old enough, or start accepting the fact that he'll beat me at every competitive game we'll ever play against each other (except Street Fighter, if it's still around by then), it will just be different from what it was. But different is just that, different. Not terrible. Not the end of the world.

I did find a bit of a compromise last night when I was holding my son to keep him from fretting and to allow his mom to get some much-needed sleep: I fired up my PSP and managed to play an hour of Puzzle Quest one-handed, while I cradled my boy with the other arm.

Which leads me to wonder: what other good games exist that I would be able to play one-handed? Could be for PC, PSP, or PS2. I'd prefer it to be more than just a puzzle game or card game.

I'd held out on Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords for over a year. I wasn't convinced that the Puzzle/RPG hybrid would be anything truly deep or satisfying. I imagined the RPG elements would be weak and non-immersive. I thought the puzzle element would be okay, but wouldn't interface with the RPG side in any truly integral way. I was wrong.

See, lately I've been desperate for a new game. I finished all my current games in early November, and I had made the silly mistake of putting all the other games I wanted at the time on my Christmas list, so I couldn't actually buy any of those games in case someone else got them for me for Christmas. (Well, I guess I could have, but it would have been poor form. Not up to my code.) So, I kind of screwed myself over there.

And then I went into massive gaming withdrawal. I've been desperate for a good game for weeks and it's been killin' me!

I'm not the kind of gamer who can play through just any game to pass the time. I have to do my research and make sure that it is a game that I will completely love and become lost in before I even consider getting it. So, putting my complete list of carefully researched games on my Christmas list left me scavenging for just one more game that could keep me satisfied and occupied until the holidays.

I scoured GameSpot for any other PC, PSP, or PS2 games I hadn't yet played. Absolutely nothing was interesting me. And that's when I came across Puzzle Quest. I didn't think I'd like it, but I had no other prospects. So I tried the PC demo. The basic bejewelled-style puzzle game was diverting enough, but I initially thought it shallow. The RPG framework around which the game is based didn't impress me at first either: no FMV, next to no voice acting. Just static images with speech-bubble text dialogues. I feared the game wasn't enough to satisfy my needs.

But then something gave way. After learning a few basic strategies with the puzzle/combat I started to see how both the puzzle and RPG sides actually did jive. It reminded me of Magic: The Gathering: The way gems are used in one-on-one duels to generate mana and cast spells is very reminiscent of how Magic employs cards to the same end.

So I decided to buy the full game. I got the PSP version so that I could play it on the go, and so that I could wake my PSP up from its months of gaming hibernation, and also so that I could get the game without paying any money, by trading a few old titles into EB Games.

And I've become hooked, just like those hundreds of gamers who talk about PQ's highly addictive quality. I even play during my lunch hour at work. The strategy involved in playing the game continues to grow on me: Choosing between boosting your own mana or preventing enemies from boosting theirs. Allowing enemies to deal some damage for the sake of gathering more mana to unleash that critical spell. After getting my ass kicked at the start of the game by the giant bat ten times in a row, I took a break to complete some other quests and learn some strategy, and I managed to return to defeat its batty ass in a drawn-out, very carefully strategized battle. It was a highly satisfying moment and the no-going-back moment for me with the game.

And now even the story is beginning to grow on me. Despite the lack of voice and animation, I am being won over by the characters, the clashes resulting from their differing objectives, the small amounts of intrigue--nothing worse than your traditional RPG storyline. Actually, the moment that really won me over was when your hero shows little patience for the excessive verbal rambling of the dwarf who accompanies him early on. (I suppose the hero would have little patience for me too.)

Which is not to say that this game is all sunshine. It can be frustrating how much the computer helps itself to massive combos and possesses the foreknowledge of what is going to drop. For gamers who are not used to losing when they play an RPG, Puzzle Quest can be humbling. If you haven't played Puzzle Quest yet, but are thinking about it, be forewarned: Get used to losing.

So that's that. I've now got a game to tide me over to Christmas (at it looks like I've got a number of games waiting for me under the tree). My gaming withdrawal is gone. I'm engaged in another impressive gaming experience. And, as an added bonus, the Tetris Effect is back, Puzzle Quest-style: At night, when I close my eyes, visions of skulls and gems dance in my head.

EDIT: Ugh. Just hours after writing this post, I came across a nasty bug in the game: In the PSP version of Puzzle Quest (for some people), the game will freeze and crash when you try to access spells over level 15. This, combined with the bug where companions' abilities do not work, really puts players at a disadvantage and removes a couple of key elements of the game! Boo!