Ok this happened last monday night and I wrote this the following morning after I woke up.

Then I decided to post it here to show all you guys today. I was too busy during the week to do this earlier.

Oh and none of you know me but I used to be a regular in off topic a looong time ago. Back during the lithium days.

I wrote this in my myspace blog too.

Ok I just got jumped by the weakest little boys I've ever seen in my life. I never thought boys this weak, even existed....

I was out jogging at around 11 at night lastnight and I was running with my football and ipod. Then these kids in some **** ass Ford Escort drive by me numerous times, yelling stuff at me and poking their heads out of the window.

They then drove by me another time only this time they threw something at me. I don't know what it was, but it looked like a huge jug full of some kind of liquid. I couldn't see it because it was dark out. Luckily, I wasn't hit by it.

So yea anyways...lol I WAS PISSED.

I ended up throwing my football at the back of their car as they drove by me. They were going pretty fast too. I guess they didn't want me to hit them back or something.

So anyways I chased the car up the road and the driver in the car got so scared, he passed the driveway he was supposed to go into. He ended up hitting a culdisack at the end of the road and turned around. Then I saw him coming back veeery slowly. He had his brights on and everything. I was still chasing the car until the car turned around and had me in his head lights. I started walking and then I started giving them a finger signal to come over to me.

They wouldn't come. They stoped their car at the end of the driveway where they were turning into.

So I continued to walk over to the car with his bright lights shining in my face.

Then a whole bunch of guys/kids rushed out of the driveway where the car was parked next to.

I was yelling at them and everything. I was all pissed off and **** Then I had about 6 or 7 guys/kids surrounding me. I was face to face with all of them. I was yelling at them, asking them why they were throwing stuff at me and talking **** to me. They couldn't give me a good reason why. The only reason they gave me was when I pushed one of their **** talking friends in the woods because he was smoking a cigarette in my face as I was running passed him. WHICH HAPPENED ALMOST A YEAR AGO FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

(you can tell there isn't much violence going on in these little gangster kids lives....since I'm apparently the most violent person they've ever come across....:roll:)

I told them I was sorry for pushing their friend in the woods (even though HE WAS running his mouth at me and was smoking a cigarette in my face as I was running past him).

Then just when I thought all of this was settled, the guys/kids were still talking **** to me, calling me a **** calling me gay etc. So then I asked them, "why do you guys talk so much **** I thought we settled this already" They still kept on talking **** to me and they still kept on saying that they were gonna kick my ass.

Then the smallest kid of the bunch (who was talking the most **** to me) takes a small step closer to me, close enough that I couldn't stand smelling his breath anymore. I ended up pushing him away from me with one arm. He tripped and fell backwards. Then the guys/kids slowly began to surround me.

I was out numbered 7 to 1.

Before I knew it, I got fingernailed in the face. YES I SAID FINGERNAILED. AS IN CLAWED. RIGHT IN THE EYE. My vision was blurry. I could hardly see anything. I was pitch dark outside. I couldn't see them but they could see me because I had a little bit of light shinning on me from one of the near by houses.

So anyways, I bent over to cover my eye because I was afraid he may have cut it. Right after I subconsciously bent over to cover my eye, this huge fat guy/kid grabs me and holds me while I'm still bent over, while all the other guys/kids where kicking me and punching me all over my body.

They did this for about a whole minute. They were continuously pounding me for a entire whole minute. I couldn't tell exactly how long it was, but thats how long it felt like it was.

I couldn't move or do anything. I was surrounded and held down very tightly by a couple guys while the rest of them were punching me and kicking me. Pretty much doing what ever they could to "beat me up".

I was able to punch who ever was holding me in the stomach numerous times. After about the 3rd punch to his stomach, he started saying, "hey lets just end this" "hey guys lets just end this".

They couldnt even get me on the ground.

I was standing up the whole time. I also didn't feel any pain either. Their kicks and punches felt like a dog jumping on me. I was baffled at how weak all these guys/kids were. I was just completely baffled.

Then they started to get tired. Their kicks and punches started feeling like nothing.

Then eventually, one of the kids mother's ran outside. She was yelling and screaming at all of them when they finally decided to get off of me.

I WAS YELLING AT THEM TOO.

Their mother was all like hey are you ok blah blah blah the usual bull sh--t every mom would say, to avoid me calling the police on her kid.

AT THE END OF THE FIGHT, I ENDED UP WITH ONLY TWO SCRATCHES TO MY FACE.

AND

THEY COULDN'T EVEN GET ME ON THE GROUND.

These guys are the worst fighters I have ever seen in my life. I was standing still and they still couldn't beat me up....

I was getting hit all over my body and they didn't leave a single scratch or bruise on my body, besides the 2 scratches they left on my face, by bi**ch clawing me.

THESE GUYS CANT EVEN BEAT UP A PUNCHING BAG let alone some random guy, standing on a street.

I was too much for them. I was so much for them that the kid I was punching, wanted to shake my hand, and he said, "hey man lets just put this behind us", "lets just forget about this"....

Their mom was saying stuff to me like "they're really good kids, they really are"

I was like "no, no theyre not"

She was like "well I'm sorry"

I was like "ya I'm sorry these are your kids too"

THAT WAS THE LAMEST JUMP/FIGHT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE

I have never seen a fight where one guy gets attacked by 6 or 7 other guys and only ends up with 2 TINY scratches on his face....This must have been the only time this has ever happened in the history of man kind.

These guys were so weak, I didn't even bother to call the cops on them.

I managed to find two of the guys myspaces

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=165989477

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=164863593

I could only find two of them because, before they attacked me, I asked them what their names were.....but they were too scared to tell me....Only one of them told me his name. I found out the other guys name from his mom who rushed out of the house.

I've got a message for all you clown look-a-like gangster thug kids/guys out there who are reading this

Any **** coward can sell drugs
Any **** **** with a gun, can bust slugs
Any **** with a red shirt can front like a blood
Even puffy smoked the **** up in a club
But only a real thug can stab someone till they die
Standing in front of them, starring straight into their eyes

-Immortal Technique

(The greatest rapper ever and YOU'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF HIM because you don't hear him on the radio, singing about a **** lolly pop) AKA "Fiddy" Cent

If I was a polititian, I would ban MTV.

MTV is a huge reason why these gangster kids try to act so tough. They try to emulate everything they see on that TV.

Blood_Raptor_X

So you think MTV teaches violence to kids and this **** doesn't? Come the **** on.

[QUOTE="Lemon-Demon35"][QUOTE="LegendKiller04"]

This is one of those smart/book/essay jokes, please tell me if somebody already created it!

I spent all night thinking of it.

I always knew i would die young. As a matter of fact, i had a midlife crisis at the age of 12.

DrCoCoPiMp

same here

[QUOTE="aaaaarrrrggggg"]Your mom's like a fan. When she gets turned on, she can't stop blowing.xtn702

Lindsay Lohan: "I like walking around naked in front of other people!" *nude pics get stolen* "Oh, no! I must save the Internet from seeing these pictures or else my reputation will be ruined!" *goes to play the part of a stripper in a movie*

I'm telling you, Chinese water torture is the perfect solution!

[QUOTE="Ze_ALEX"][QUOTE="rgsniper1"]

[QUOTE="askzander"]I hate fat people. I would rather die than be fat. Besides, gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins.rgsniper1

Wow that's quite a generaliztion you have there. So all fat people deserve to be hated? Also what does gluttony have to do with being fat? Not everyone who's overweight is heavy because they shovel food in there mouths.

Gluttony in Catholicism - is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. Defined as the wasting of food, either through overindulgence (food, drink or intoxicants), the misplaced desire for food for its sensuality, or the withholding of food from the needy.

Dictionary term for Gluttony - habitual eating to excess, eating to excess (personified as one of the deadly sins)

i think hes trying to say that they dont exercise

Really? I don't see that in his post anywhere. He pretty much black and white states that he hates people that are overweight. He then goes on to allude to the point that all heavy people are overweight because they can't control there eating habits.