I don't know why I am like this but I am awkward. I've been doing better but I still sense the awkwardness every time I meet new people and talk in front of strangers. Right now, I am actually in the Biology lab, listening to people present their topics. My seminar isn't due till next week but I am so nervous right now. I have a partner who I barely know and I am not so sure how to meet with her to work on the powerpoint presentation.

To think about it, even on Xbox 360, I barely use my headset. I would listen to play but I barely talk to them. I know there are people like me out there but come on! This is getting ridiculous. Maybe it's my background. If you guys haven't realized, I am not Canadian nor American. I was born in Korea, came over to Canada when I was 13 years old which means I spent my last 7 years in Canada. I am technically Canadian but I still have this thing that I am no better than white Canadian students. Right now I see people who are either on Facebook or looking at the board soullessly as two presenters are talking about Catfish. This should be a good sign for me but still, I can't stop thinking that my "ego" and pride will be ruined.

I am not better than anyone in this room. I am just a normal guy but this ego of mine.. so foolish of me. I used to have this pride that I am better than everyone and now that I think about it, I am ashamed. Anyway, that's it for me today. I can't wait to get over with all these things and one day, I shall talk about my glorious public speaking skill with you all. The time 3:32 PM.

It's amazing. I mean I've never played any game like this before. I pretty much killed every single person who was playing in that game. I mean 45 kills and 28 deaths. I guess it's not the best performance but there is no doubt in my mind that this is the best performance so far. The map was Shipment so you just know there will be many kills but still, I was the first place overall and I killed ten times straight.

I always considered myself a "bad" player who contributes to the team by dying more than necessary. But this time, I was different. I was using AK47 SMG (working on the challenge at the moment) and I did not use a grenade. Oh man what a game.. I don't think I'll ever play this good ever in my life and that's the reason why I shall cherish this memory forever. The time, 8:58. HAPPY EASTER PEOPLE!

This should have been my ultimate Xbox weekend but it turns out that I won't be able to play as much video games as I expected. Hmm I am not so sure why I am writing about this. Very interesting yet typical topic that I would ever think of writing. Anyway, I am watching Arrested Development once again and yes, I am addicted. This is such a good show. I mean it kind of gets old eventually but so far, I am a proud addict of Arrested Development.

Ohh one exciting news for you guys. Well actually, it's only exciting for me but I am officially a Gold Member of Xbox Live. I can't wait to play Xbox Live all summer (I'm going to do stuff such as working and volunteering as well but still). It is going to be great.

The only concern I have right now is the final exams. I just need to get over 70% in Biology to do stuff that I want to do next year but in order to do that, it will not be easy one. I need to study, I need to work on a lab, I need to work on a seminar, and I need to study. Hate to admit that I did poorly last semester but now that I actually admit it, I am expecting a better performance from me.

Oh here is an interesting question. What is the Ultimate Weekend for you? For me, I am not still sure. I used to have this ideal weekend but not anymore since I realized how lazy and stupid it is. I am still working on that and hopefully, I can spend all my weekends like that.

Rainbow Six Vegas 2 is not as good as I expected. I think it is not as good as COD 4 but the thing is, I don't like the split screen system that they have. Such an awkward way to play first person shooting game. Anyway, back to watching Arrested Development. The time, 4:48PM Happy Easter Everyone!

I have proved to my friends that I am truely a man of defense. It was 2 vs 1 and I was all alone on this one. To be honest, I love to be alone because I know what I am doing. I don't need to guess what my teammate is thinking and all so I love being alone. Anyway, I was down one goal, I scored one, they scored back, I scored back. I was all tied up at 2:2. Oh, I was Calgary and they were Edmonton. In third period, it was pretty close, I was defending pretty well, they were pretty confident that they would win the game because you know, it was a total domination. I knew I was going to win all along of course. I mean there was no way they could score the third goal on me.

And it happened. 37 seconds left in the last period, I was pressing for the third time in the period (yeah the fact that I remember this tells you that I was just getting owned) and I felt it. I felt I could score right here. I got the puck, I went across the goalie, I shot the puck and it went in. No one expected this to happen and the place went wild! All they could say was they were dominating the whole game.

Anyway, it was one of the best games I've ever played. Good stuff. The time, 10:32 PM.

I don't know what to write for today's blog but I do this everyday so, here I go (so typical of me). The title is from the episode of Arrested Development. Here is what I want to do. I want to write about nothing and I am going to time it. In 1 minute, let's see what I can write.

So I am watching Arrested Development. I actually was watching The Eye starting Jessica Alba. She is so hot.. man, too bad she is taken right? haha anyway, Arrested Development has to be the best show ever because I can't stop watch it! I mean Gob Bluth is like Krammer from Seinfeld you know.

So there goes one minute. It was fun, maybe tomorrow I will write something more interesting. I'm out. The time, 11:09 PM.

I wonder about this word often nowadays. I don't know why but this word sounds so good to me. Reminiscing about your past, I mean everyone does it right? I feel like telling a story. I knew back then everything I do must be perfect and if I fail, I would never face myself later. Well how foolish of me. I always considered myself as a perfectionist who pursues perfect for every single thing that I do. I realize that's exactly opposite I am. I am not perfect and I can't be perfect. I guess I knew that before but I now finally know that I don't want to be perfect. How boring it would be to get things done perfect and dedicate every single second of your life trying to achieve the status as a "true perfectionist".

Like I said, I've been reminiscing sometime now and I realize that I don't want to be perfect. Why? Just one word, hopeless. There is no hope because you just know. You just know what's coming and everything can be foreseen. I mean think about this. If you have no hope, not even one tiny hope, is that the life worth living? Is it the true way of spending one's life?

If I would asked to choose between being perfect yet hopeless and being sloppy yet hopeful, my pick will always be the second option. Hope is one of many things that drives me and without hope, why do I even bother to breathe? Reminiscing about my past gave me the new perspective of life. Maybe this is just all trash and I will regret saying this when I wish I could be perfect. But deep in my mind, I will never forget this moment.

This moment, Monday March 17th 2008 2:39 PM, I am so happy.

I only wrote a resume once and it was back in my highschool days. I ended up getting a job offer but I had to turn it down for a personal reason (wow, it sounds as I am some sort of a big shot). Anyway, now I am writing my second resume and I don't know where to begin. I guess it reminds me of my history and I get the time to think what I achieved so far.

Personally, I hate writing a resume. You can't possibly write down your achievements and yourself on a piece of paper. It's hard for me at least. Anyway, I am still writing a resume to get a summer job. I am applying a job at the general hospital and I really want to get this one. It will be a life changing experience and as a bio/biochem student, this is going to be a great experience.

Besides the resume writing, I am doing not much. I just woke up about one hour ago. I tried to eat the chinese left-over from last night but ended up trashing it. I must say that it's never a good idea not to finish a chinese delivery. Speaking of delivery, I paid $20 for $10 meal because the delivery guy did not have the change. What the hell right?

Besides that, nothing much is going on. I watched Hitman last night and I must say, it was better than I expected. Much better than I expected.

Anyway guys, that's it for me today. The time, 2:31 PM.

For the first time in my life, I got drunk. Yes that's right. I got drunk and I made fool out of myself. I guess this is part of being a college student but after this incident, I will never get drunk again. I vomited everywhere, I disturbed our floormates and I am washing my bedsheet at 1:40 in the morning. I won't be able to go to bed till at least 3 but it's fine. I made a wrong choice and I am just paying for it right now.

As a christian, it was such a foolish decision by me. 12 shots of vodka, I'd never thought those would be this deadly. Anyway, I feel like sharing this to you guys. I am watching Hitman right now and it's promising so far. 5 more minutes till I put my laundry in the dryer. This is just a perfect night. Most definitely better than last night.

I hate the word "regret". Woo.. speaking of favorite words, here are few of mine.

Serendipity: I just love this word. A pleasant surprise.

Resiliency: I saw this word from the NY Giants' Super Bowl intro. Ability to bounce back, that's all about me baby!

Darn, I have to go down to check on my laundry. I'll be right back... Ok I am back. Anyway, where was I.. Ohh favorite words. Yes so those two are my favorite words so far.

I am still suffering from the last night's incident. I feel somewhat dizzy and my stomach is still all weird. I can smell little bit of alcohol. This is just perfect life right? Anyway, this is everything from me for today. The time, 1:50 AM.

The Bluth Family is very self-centered, weird, strange and just .... weird. But, people seem to like them. It happens that I am one of them. I recently got to watch the 3 seasons of Arrested Development and I now think this show is one of the best and I just can't believe that it was cancelled.

I really don't blame this cancellation on Family Guy. Family Guy is a decent show that I happen to like but after watching Arrested Development, is it worth it? This show is so smart and funny unlike Family Guy. Actually to think about it, I believe the movie is coming out and maybe they will put this show on tv once again if the movie does pretty well on the box office.

It's really hard to believe what The Bluth Family does every single day (especially the magician GOB, man he is like Krammer). But maybe that's why this show is so attractive and hilarious. The family members compliment each other very nicely and that chicken dance that everyone does.... it's just hilarious. Also "The Final Countdown" theme song for Gob Bluth is priceless.

Anyway, my point is that Arrested Development is one of the best shows I've ever watched and screw Family Guy! (I'm just kidding or am I..)

I am not going to lie but it has been a rough path for me. I think of my Gamespot run as a rough one because... because it wasn't just a smooth one. Duh right? I was away for about 1 year and I swore to the world I would never come back to this site again. However, now that I'm back, it feels weird. It is weird for me to write my 200th blog entry which I never thought of writing. I missed my one year anniversary, I missed the whole season of Pick'em for NFL Union. I missed so many things and come to think of it, I regret that I missed those events.

Gamespot has been good for me and I wish I could keep writing these blogs. Hmm I can't focus.. I am actually watching Arrested Development, which i find hilarious and amazing, but that's not the point here. I can't focus because I don't know, I just don't know what to write for my 200th blog. It's funny how I take this so serious but to think about it, when you put at least little bit of effort into something, you put part of you in it as well. Hmm does it make sense? Anyway what I'm trying to say is that I put so much effort into this. Gamespot has been part of my life and now that I'm back, I feel like I should put more effort and time into it.

A rough path, that just sums up my life in the university. Gamespot is part of me and maybe my life is affecting the life in Gamespot. So here I am, writing about nothing (or bs things). I guess this is me, Taye, talking about nothing... or something.