These sorts of questions usually hide a few universal truths to them, and what you're really asking is the following:

"Hi, I'm the Thread Creator. I want to inflict the maximum amount of pain, whilst putting myself in the least possible situation of danger, with the minimal amount of physical exertion. How do I go about beating the bad guys up like that Chinese guy whose name I forgot in that movie, and impress the chicks. Which martial arts will help me do this?"

Answer: None.

Hoobinator

well i have come to the conclusion from your post that you have a few choices of Martial arts to do:|sAndroid17

lol?

hi, i've been wanting to do a sport for a while and i know i want to do a martial art...

now i got a few choices boxing, judo, karate and thats it well any comments please tell

if anything god hates me...

masturbation is a sin stealing is a sin adultery is a sin god i'm going straight to hell also killing is a sin and i am not going to heaven.... wait... forget that last one... hehe... hehe...

i have 3...

1. do you wanna come to the pants party i mean theres a party in my pants you want to come?

2. is your father a lumberjack? [why?] because everytime i look at you i get wood in my pants.

3.is your mom a baker? [why] because you've got great buns...

somehow all i ever get is a slap to the face...