Well that title is a little peculiar because what birthday blues I had yesterday are gone. Now I'm just enjoying my morning with music and computer time, turning over the spotlight to my 12 year old cousin whose birthday is today.
And it's not to say that I didn't have blues on my birthday because it was mostly boring and I did a bit....but it wasn't a total loss. I am getting 100 dollars between my mom and my older brother and my younger brother gave me something to smoke on *wink*.
It was hard yesterday because everyone was saying happy birthday over Facebook and like only my younger brother came by. I only got like 3 phone calls this year. And I had to go to my aunt's...Anyway, the worst part of this is all because of this boy I've come to know. He was my first, real heartbreak. It all happened so fast and well...it's gotten to the point where half the time I'm near him I get a twisted up stomach and now I'm thinking we can't even be friends. But now I won't be spending a lot of the summer at his house like I had visions of doing. Gaming with my friend and this guy that I just happen to still love.
That was the hardest part. I still don't know what I'm going to do about it. It makes me crazy thinking I'd have to ultimately live without him in my life because he said no and all I really want is him. Most.
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