DEATH is stupid...
DEATH is unfair...
DEATH is never undoable...
DEATH is everyones fait...
DEATH is only the beggining...
RIP- Toby- 1-2-05

on January 2, 2005, my mothers dog, TOBY was let outside by me... i forgot about him. i was suppopsed to watch him while he was outsie but i didn't feel like being cold... so i went inside and left TOBY and Charlie (my dog) outside... about half an hour latter my mom, my mom was screaming about TOBY getting hit by a car... and about5 minutes latter... he was dead... RIP TOBY

i had a good NEW YEAR so far... i got to talk to... shhhhhh... Neal. :shock: very kewl... and some other stuff happened that some peolpe know about but others don't...
-Jaime-

the BABYs name is Elizabeth Anne C. one of my friends names is Anne Elizabeth. thats so kewl.
-Jaime-

my sister, kara, just had a baby girl. today about 12. i'm so excited. i can't stop the tears. she dosn't even have a name yet. i can't wait to talk to Kara. she's only 17. this os truly amazing. i can't wait till she comes home.
--*--Jaime--*--

you know how your real FWENDS know exactly how to hurt you? well they do. it completely sucks. tremendosly. they know exactly how to make your sunny days fill with tears drops. (that sounded so old) well my best FWEND has done that three times in our four year FWENDship. i don't think i've ever done that to her though. and believe me i know exactly how to... maybe one day i should. but i'm not going down to her level. very low... and the only reason she used this secret FWENDship power on me is b/c he b/f of like 4 days moved. not even that far away either. she said the most hurtfull thing she could think of. i started crying. shes just mean... thats that.

you know how some times u FEEL like your less then someone else? well iv felt that one too many times.

o ther then FEELing sorry for myself, my best friend did something really stupid. i mean really stupid. she did something to make the pain go away. but all she did was make more. a lot more. im not sure if i should tell someone about it. i'm scared she'll get mad at me. i know that something bad happening to her will be worse then her mad at me though. its so hard to make a decision about something like this. she says not to worry. she also said she wouldn't do it again. i'm not sure if i should believe her about that though. i also don't know who to tell. iv'e told people we both know. but no one that would be able to help her. shes allready in therapy for being an alchoholic at a young age. she almost died from it. people think shes depressed. i dont think she is. she's really happy sometimes. all i want is to help her though. we're not at the same school or anything so it's not like i can tell the guidence counsilor. she says she wont do it again... i want to believe her.... why do people do that anyway... cut... some say its just for attention. well maybe it is. maybe its just a cry for help. im trying to answer it. i know everyone has thought about suicide once in there lives. theres no denying it. everyones wanted to get out one way or another. but i FEEL like i'm not a good friend because she choose to cut instead of just talking to me. i'm there for her and she knows it.

i've always thought what would happen if someone really close to me died. how would i ever mov on? well people close to me have died. 've moved on. but i think it deppends on who they are. not just how you know them. if their someone close to you it changes you. it changes you more then anything in the world can.

i hope i didn't make anyone FEEL uncomfortable by talking about that.
-Jaime-

i'm not playing games much. thats bad. but since my brother got Halo 2 hes either sleeping, on the computer , or playing Halo. so i cant play much. its not kewl. well its 12 in the morning. i think i should write more latter.
-Jaime-

i'm going to start posting more. i'm allready at level 3. SO, if i start posting i'll probly move up even more. that's kewl. well off to the posting world i go. that sounded so queer.
-Jaime-

i'm proud-ishy to say that i am sorta not stuck on Kingdom Hearts. I dont get to play a lot since all of our systems belong to my brother. he sleeps like ALL day so i never get to play. it sux. i dont play a lot but i like playing still. i have a boreing life. im ok with saying this since no 1 reads my journal any way. so ill tell more bout my boreing life latter.

-Jaime-