Festivals are a funny ol' thing...

I recently returned from 'Download' festival, which has replaced 'Ozzfest' in England. Obviously it's a ****ing metal festival then...

Lo and behold it is. Metal metal METAL. All the ****ing time. Used to like metal. Not anymore. I keep hearing guitar solos in the wind. Every car passing sounds like a guitar chugging...

I hear Norwegian women singing opera in the shower. I can't get the stains out of my clothes. My shoes stink of beer. My nose is burnt.

But I ****ing loved it!

Infact, so twisted was my sense of reality, that when I returned home I couldn't speak to anyone. Holding a conversation with my brother was a chore. Thank god my mum's gone to Dallas, and my dad doesn't really bother. I've sat in my room for days, trying to get over the fact my system has been under constant abuse for the last 5 days. Sleeping irregularly in my comfy bed. Waking up in sweats, maybe due to lack of drugs?! How ****ed up is this?! I don't understand.

I skip a day of work. 2 nights afterward, and I still can't face a bus full of people.

Today I managed to scrape into work. Late, of course. Since here I have spent the majority of my time looking for pictures of the festival, and chatting to the peopleI was there with online. I've barely said a word to my co-workers. I haven't bothered eating today, because I can't stand to face the canteen staff yet. They call me chip boy, because all I ever order is chips. The reason being that their menus are so ****ed up with ****that no sane person would consider buying anything but. I hate them for chip boy, I truely do.

And then, all of a sudden, something more shocking and horrifying that anything in the whole world occured to me...

I have turned into one of you.

Theeeeeeeeeenks

Yeah. For a slight dig at apple users (which was hardly in bad taste as far as I'm concerned), I got suspended for 10 ****ing days!! What a joke.

Talk about over sensitive users. I've seen people get away with a **** load more than that. Niiiiice.

I have missed gamespot somewhat. Well, not really, because after the Lost season finale aired (which was ****ing awesome to all those concerned), I spent the majority of my time at work discussing said episode with other like minded Lost geeks.

I'm sure a lot has changed in the 10 days I was absent. Certain members obviously still sit a top their high horse and talked down to the casual users who have below 20,000 posts (shock horror). Good to still see life goes on.

What has happened to me since my absence. Lets see... I got really drunk. I kissed one of my best girl friends (which I am thoroughly regretting now), I sat at a **** outdoor swimming pool for hours staring at t & a, I touched myself many times and generally got bored at work.

Life is good.

Theeeenks

Work. Dire, yet necessary.

The bane of the majority of us. Work shackles us with its grasp, promising an income that we can use to satisfy our needs and desires.

At a price.

OUR SOULS.

I have done extensive research, and have founf that approximately 75% of the people I know (I would call them friends but, well, they're not) have NO SOUL.

They are now zombies, hitting their alarm clocks in unison every morning and shuffling toward their selected dungeons for 8 hours. There they sit, do, and then leave. Five days a week. We have seven days in our week.

Five of those spent doing something we do not want to? As ridiculous as it sounds, it happens. It's happening right now.

To me.

Maybe to you?

It is the hold that our capitalist lifestyle has on us. We are exploited at every turn, spat on by the corporate heirarchy and overtaxed by our pathetic governments. Our well earned money sometimes HALVED so that another politician can take 1st class when he goes on his next two week break.

Until we rid ourselves of these materialistic comforts and begin to appreciate the finer parts of actually just LIVING, we will never be free.

We need to stand up to our governments. As Subject 'V' once said, "people should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people". We take all this crap, and yet we take it lying down. All we have to do is stand up for ourselves and take control of our only destines! THEN WE CAN TRUELY BE FREE.

But then, sometimes I think...

**** it. I like eating McDonalds, smoking Luckies and watching Lost.

Theeeeenks

EDIT : Due to a certain ammount of pressure from certain higher members of the site, I have been forced to remove my list of '50 things I hate'. As replacement, I will add 5 things I truely love...

1. Gamespot

2. Bunnies

3. World of Warcraft

4. Everybody Loves Raymond

5. Kelly Clarkson

Theeeeeeeenks

Well, after being silenced by the man that is Gamespot mods for crimes against the interweb community, I'm back.

Wow I've really realised how much I miss this place. In order to normalise myself, I had to spend the majority of my weekend drinking and laughing at people less fortunate than me. Thank god for oxfam adverts.

As suggested before my silencing, my latest blog will tackle the unsurprisingly done-to-death concept of myspace and it's ilk, and why sites like that are so ****ing **** that they make me throw up in my mouth a little.

Now, we've all seen what happens to people on said sites. They join because a friend recommended it (or because they sent one of those stupid sign up emails to all their msn friends because they were subjected to a frontal labotomy). They make an account, find some relatively respectable pictures of themselves doing day to day things, and begin finding their friends and adding them.

This is where things begin to turn sour...

Because, on their friends pages, they find people with these wackily photoshopped images of the back of their heads. They are slowly introduced to skinny jeans, ridiculous haircuts, make up, studded belts, and a mixture of heartfelt emotional garbage or ridiculously fast heavy growly garbage. This a turning point for many a myspace member...

Which path do they choose? Which of these two choices will influence them utterly for the next couple of years, until they find their own specific identity and decide to take the very rocky path toward deleting their accounts?!

Either choice is a bad as the other. There are no winners on myspace. None.

They begin to add people they don't even recognize in some pathetic way to make themselves feel better that they are popular. They share 'interests' with these people, but only on a superficial level. They begin to take photos of the back of their heads, or with that ridiculous 'powt' that is popular for both guys and gals. They list their sexual preference as bi-sexual because it is relatively cool for 14 year olds to swing both ways.

They find editors so they can completely revamp their profile backgrounds with the latest band/fashion fad. They shuffle their top 8 to include only the coolest people. The more 'friends' they clock up, the more arrogant they become.

Unfortunately, this doesn't stay in webworld. It transfers to real life.

They walk around with an undeserved sense of appreciation. They think they're better than everyone else. They start to ignore people they used to be mates with, just because in webworld, they don't have myspace. Sometimes just because they have less friends, they are cast aside.

It makes me sick.

I have therefore come up with a solution to solve the worlds myspace woes.

1. Shoot people who match the above description in the face.

If we follow this strict set of guidlines, then later generations will be so terrified of joining myspace, it will slowly dissolve, and the latest hideous fad will die. It needs it.

If I could have my wish, then the League of Shadows would be involved. They would use their team of assassins to clean this stagnant mess up. We could all start again, in a perfect utopian society when people aren't so ****ing shallow and insecure.

God I hate Monday mornings...

Theeeeenks