So I was mucking about on GTA IV (as you do) when I decided to p*ss the cops off on the beach. So with a 2 star wanted level I drove around the playground thing in circles for ages. It was a lot of fun.

So much fun, in fact, that I decided to make a new game out of it.

This is how you Niko's Police Donuts'

You find a nice looking working motor. And knik it.

Then you p*ss off the cops for a 2 star wanted level.

They'll be on your arse tight. SO LEG IT!

Get to the beach on Firefly in Broker.

Find the kiddies appratus and wait for the cops to get on the beach.

The drive around the thing in circles repeatedly.

The rules are: You are not allowed out of your car.

You're not allowed to hit the brake unless you are reversing or hitting the handbrake.

You do not get off of the beach.

You continue to do this until your car falls asleep for good. Then the clock stops.

For every cop car you disable, add 10 seconds to the time.

The longer you keep doing this, the more points you get.

SIMPLE!

You get two attempts. Here are my scores.

Attempt 1: 2:51 (no cars disabled)

Attempt 2: 6:04 + 20 seconds (2 cop cars disabled)= 6:24

Can you do better? Let me know in the comments box.

So Jack Thompson faces permanent disbarment from Florida Bar. This means: no silly court cases, no funny news stories and RockStar have one less person to deal with.

I may sound ridiculous, but I'm gonna miss Jacky boy.

Come on guys! Be honest, who loved laughing at his ultimate idiocy? When there was a slow news day, here's Jacky to make us laugh at his pathetic attempt to end the 1st amendment.

When we all felt dumb, here's Jacky to remind us there is a much bigger moron running around the US of A.

So bye Jacky boy! I'm gonna miss ya! Now break out the party poppers!

Also, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY BLOGS!!!

One is on games, the other isn't.

Games first.

Yes I'm thinking of getting it. Somehow. I just look at the setlist and think, wow. Mostly for the opening acts. I don't really like Aerosmith but the track list is convincing me otherwise. Plus GAME are giving you a free Union Jack face plate when you pre-order! Only problem is it's a FULL-PRICE EXPANSION PACK. And since I don't like Aerosmith much, playing through mostly their songs could be a pain. Thoughts please!

Now non-game related one. It's about Charlotte. Yes I know you're all getting sick of me going on about it but the thing is... I really like her. A bit too much. I'm becoming a bit too protective of her. Worrying about her and missing her when she's not around. She's the one person who I can just let all of this sh*t I put up drop down and talk like how I really am. She's really funny, charming, strong and sweet. I just don't know how I feel about her though. Something tells me I love her whilst another tells me I just really like her. I just don't know anymore.

Oh, and I have a new spot for all of my cr*p. It's pretty cosy over there. And I like it. Mainly cos I can say whatever the hell I like. It's a goodbye of sorts. I may publish some of my cleaner work here and I'll still yap on about news stories but for now, it's my new home.

Leave your thoughts and advice below and I'll see you whenever. Thanks!

CP out

I'd choose death.

It's that bad.

I had to sit through it in Drama today. My god, it is bad. It's so bad that it would make Walt Disney sell off the company if he wasn't dead. The writing, acting, directing and everything was atrocious. Even the Disney animation was lacking the usual spark.

The only funny part was when the main characters got hurt; but if I wanted to watch people injure themselves, I'd watch Jackass: The Movie. I'd like to thank god for my friends to help take the p*ss out of it. When the projecter had problems we cheered and jumped for joy. 60% of our class agreed that it was sh*t. Scores of 0, 0, 0, 2, 0, -2, 0 spring to mind. The problem is, my best friends like it. Oh great.

And do you want to know what the worst part is?...

We're only 50 unbearable minuets through!!

Enchanted get's the plug pulled with 0 bad singalongs out of 5.

I HAVE GTA IV!!!

First impressions?

Don't know my brother's on it.

But a perfect score means it better be awesome.

"STOP TALKING."

5 seconds later.

"YOU'RE STILL TALKING!"

3 seconds later. Dead silence.

"STOP TALKING! You can't learn when you're shouting. STOP TALKING!!"

I hate Mr. Smith.

2 hours 29 minuets until Euro launch. You know what I mean.

Nothing happened. I just haven't felt the need to blog in a while. Nothing personal, nothing in GS. I just haven't felt the need. I'll only blog when I want to, feel like I want or feel like I have to.

Willkins_III: I respect your response but I need to clear a few things. 1. I only listed the English ones because I come from England but if you wish I'll add the European ones as well. 2. I wanted Rock Band to be 100 quid as that's the amount my brother gets for his birthday in June and he could have bought it then. But God seems intent on crushing my dreams so that's that. 3. Get that Wii. While there currently aren't too many must haves it's gaining strength. Plus, developers will stop using it as a dumping ground. And, you don't have faulty goods in most boxes.

If anyone really cares (I'm guessing your not), me & Charlotte now talk through e-mail! It's nice to talk to someone about my problems and we both have distinctive per... WELL I THINK IT'S INTERESTING.

Condemned 2 is a very good game. So far. As in Level 2 So Far.

Raining Blood, The Number Of The Beast and One are f*cking impossible on Hard. NO. STOP. Do not reach for post comment. I don't want to hear how you 5* each of those songs because I frankly don't care. (Unless you have any tips)

I have finally seen Zero Punctuation. What on earth have I been missing! It's brilliant. Though my Mum thinks it's just mumbles but that's when she's drunk (on cider).

My next blog will be on something very personal and quite terrifying.

CP out.

I call this a triple burn.

First let's arrange the set-up. I have been on this game, since the day it was announced. Me & my brother have been fantasising, planning, preparing, hoping. For 6 months. The only other game to make us be so excited is GTA IV. We've even decided what we were going to call the band (The Black Stripes as I'm on guitar and vocals and my brother will drum) and what songs we'll download (Q.O.T.S.A.? Yes. Oasis? Yes! Still Alive? HELL YES!) and made wishlists (Muse and the Arctic Monkeys need to be on by the end of the year or else!). We've never let this die. Even frequent delays and unbridled jealousy towards America never stopped us.

So yesterday, I got the update. May 23rd! Yes! Then I read deeper. And deeper. After I finished reading up the story and counting the cash I wanted to throw the computer out of the room and go on a murderous rampage at Harmonix studios.

Let's just count the reasons why I wish to decapitate Alex Rigopulos.

1. The Delay

It's been 6 months. 6 MONTHS! It's like waiting for a new-born baby but instead of giving birth to beautiful baby boy you give birth to a massive clawed demonic parasite. Annoying, devastating and disappointing.

2. The "Localisation"

One of the reasons for the delay was to localise the content so Europeans didn't feel alienated by the American songs. Personally, I didn't care. The tracklist was perfect to begin with. So it turns out no songs have been removed at all. And the songs that have been added equal a grand total (for the UK) of 4. 4!

Blur "Beetlebum"
Oasis "Rock 'n' Roll Star"
Tokio Hotel "Monsoon"
Muse "Hysteria"

And you want to know what's the worst? Our "exclusive" tracks will be available for download soon after!

3. The Price

I was expecting it to be £100. At the highest. I mean GHIII is £75 on PS3 and $100 in America. Rock Band exchanges to about £85. It costs £130. For the instruments. And £50 for the game. On it's own. That equals £180 which translates to $368! Over 2x the cost in America. Downloads cost £1.36 for single tracks on XBOX Live Marketplace which is reasonable but if you want absolutely everything (2 guitars, a drum kit, mic and game) it will cost you £240!! And this is for the 360 version! Someone needs to tell EA that April Fool's Day is over. It's hilarious! Hahahahaha!

Now seriously give us the real price.

There's also one more burn. All of this is for the 360! PS3 (which is what I have) and Wii versions don't come until summer. EA I want my time back!

I'm importing. And if any of you lot have any sense you'll join me.

"Someone needs to tell EA April Fools Day is over. It's hilarious! Hahahahaha!

Now seriously give us the real price."

Coming tomorrow.

I've just had 2 of them.

And, possibly, indirectly fell out with my best friends.

Life's all fun and games isn't it?