I've been through a lot this year. If I had to split my giant story into selective sections, 90%Z of which had song title parodies, it'd have to be something like this:

Season 1: Amnesiac
He's a maniac, amnesiac, that's for sure! Part 1!
I'm Stuck In The Desert Without a Horse or a Name! Part 2!
What's My Age Again? What's My Name Again? Part 3!
Goodbye my Bruthah! Goodbye my Friend! Part 4!
I Don't Remember, just what makes it so hard to... remember! Part 5!
We are Family! Brother, Sister, we cannot be! Part 6!
All the Small Men! Part 7!
Somewhere Over the Rainbow! Part 8!
Old Hard Witch! Part 9!
Blast to the Past! Part 10!
How to Save a Wife! Part 11!
Her Story! Part 12!
Point of No Return! Part 13!
Mac and me maybe are no longer mammals! Part 14!
A little story about Mac and Ryan! Part 15!
His Story! Part 16!
Hey Micky, you're so screwed, You're so screwed it blows my mind! Part 17!
Prisoner of the Society! Part 18!
Nowhere Over the Rainbow! Part 19!
Knock, Knock, Knockin' On Kevin's Door! Part 20!
This is a Story, about a man named Stikky! Part 21!
Her Story 2! Part 22!
And I will try to Pix you! Part 23!
And I'm waiting for the real strife to begin! Part 24!
Destination Unknown! Part 25!
Search for the Holy Pail! Part 26!
Only the Good Die Young! Part 27!
Everybody's got a Hold on Rope, It's the last thing that's holding me! Part 0.1!
My Dog's name is what? My dad's name is who? Part 0.2!
As Long As I Can See the Lyght! Part 0.3!
I'm Not Crazy, I'm just a Little Insane! Part 0.4!
Oh, we're halfway there! Oh, four more flashes to bear! Part 0.5!
This is Why! I Don't Like Mondays! Part 0.6!
It's Been a Mad Day, Please Don't Take My Picture! Part 0.7!
House of the Rising Sun! Part 0.8!
What's it like when you die? Part 0.9!
One Night, and One More time, Thanks for the Memories! Part 28! Season Finale!

But I had no time to even think about that. At the start of the year, I was a regular bloke. One day while working at the weapon store, I was shot in the arm by a gun I'd never seen before. The bullet was removed but somehow I started having visions, and having weird impulses to stop them from happening.

Things only got weirder when my visions took me to Sweden, where I met my new sidekick, Kemp, and together we unravelled a conspiracy that all of my visions were linked to the evil doings of a secret Society bent on destroying the world. Then things got way too absurd when trying to escape the clutches of some evil henchmen, I turned into a hawk and found out that I was an umption, which is an odd word for shapeshifter.

Then the pivotal thing happened. I was tracked down by a new Society member named Newbie and shot point blank in the head. Fortunately, he didn't realise this gun didn't fire bullets. Unfortunately, it wiped out my memory.

When I awoke in an odd place with no memory at all, of who I was, where I was from or what I had for breakfast the day before, I was confused to say the least. Being an amnesiac for an entire season (Spring) was odd, but I still managed to get sucked into inadvertently get sucked into fighting the Society. I met leprechauns, witches, and umptions (when I didn't realise I myself was one too), and me, my sister Alana, who I may or may not have bedded with when I didn't know who she was, and Kemp found out that the Society's main goal was to find the Holy Pail, which had powers beyond reason or logic. So we figured we may as well get to it first. This was easier said than done when Mac, a witch and a lover, was being held captive by Stikky, who turned out to be not only the leader of the Society, but also my father, and Mac's ex-husband and Society supervisor, Alex was tracking down the pail with help from martial arts specialist and umption, Brain. We all found the giant Pail at about the same time and ended up at a Mexican standoff in Sweden. We all battled, and there were a few casualties, including Mac, who accidentally faked her death. More importantly, the Pail revived my memory, and I remembered all about me, that I was Micky Clarke, and my plans.

Unfortunately, when I snapped out of it, I learned that the Society had succeeded in getting the Pail, so we formed a Rebellion to fight the Society, only to learn of a greater threat - I had an evil twin named Jimbo that wants to destroy the world. Naturally this was a downer, so we trained at the House of the Rising Sun until it was destroyed, and then we found a new base at the Rebellion doctor, Olive Cox (or Doc's) apartment, until it was destroyed, and then we settled for an abandoned warehouse until three of our comrades' heads were delivered, which was when we moved the base to the Dove Shack, which was a shoddy cubby house from my childhood. Speaking of the Dove, our inventor, who has passed on since, created the Dove, a silver device that you shove in your neck to become super strong and beat people up.

When Jimbo kidnapped Alana, I vowed to get my sister back, and when I had a vision that showed the end of the world, I figured Jimbo was behind it. So at the end of this disastrous, stressful year, on New Year's Eve at 11:59pm, I was stuck in a room with Jimbo, who had just killed Stikky (which honestly is one less thing I have to worry about), but he and the Society had killed all of our team members, except Doc, Mac and Kemp, who had a dagger with which to stab Jimbo. When I found out that the Holy Pail was going to destroy the world, and in a few seconds at that, I put in the Dove, threw Jimbo against the wall, and at the last second charged into the Pail with so much force that I was either going to blow up (which would have happened if I'd stayed in the room anyway) or that I had prevented the explosion and saved the world.

Now that 2008 is finally over, hopefully 2009 will be a little better. Unfortunately, I'm still in the middle of crashing through the Pail at light speed so I dunno what's going to happen.

***

"Huh?" I opened my eyes and found myself in a weird enclosure.

"He's awake!" Kemp cheered, and Doc, Mac and Alana gathered around me.

"Dude, you were awesome" Mac said. "You destroyed the Pail and caused it to implode on itself. It's crazy you weren't hurt"

"I saved the world too" Kemp bragged. "I stabbed Jimbo a dozen times while he was unconscious. He won't be bothering us anymore.

"And I burned down the Society mansion for funsies" Doc shrugged.

"I did my part" Mac said. "I found Alana, and got her memory back with a spell that I wrote myself"

"How did it end up working then?" Alana grinned.

"So the Society's completely diminished, Jimbo's gone and the world is finally safe" Kemp recapped. "How are you feeling, Micky?"

"Who's Micky?" I asked. "Who the hell are you guys, and why are you wearing nametags?"

"Oh, not again" Alana groaned.

"And that's what's called a full circle" Mac rolled her eyes.

"Huh?" I repeated. I had no memory of who I was or what my history was, and why all these crazy people were talking about being vigilantes like it was cool. This was going to be a confusing year.

And thus ends the Micky saga. We laughed, we cried, we cut off sentences in the middle of a concluding rant about the longest blog series in the

Me and Stikky stared each other down, both confused about what to say after putting each other through hell in:

Let's See How Far We've Come! Recap!
It's The End Of The World As I Barely Knew It! Part 29!
Here I am, Losing my Election! Part 30!
What's Dove Got to Do With It? Part 31!
Say it Aint Joe! I Will Not Go! Part 32!
Alive With The Glory of Dove! Part 33!
I See A Bad Doom Arising! Part 34!
Doctor, Doctor! I'm Not With the News! Part 35!
SEX! Now that I've got your attention here's the next Micky Instalment! Part 36!
You're so vain! You probably think this blog is about you! Part 37!
Hey Micky, Look What You're Doing to Me! Part 38!
Dove is in the Air! Part 39!
His Story 2! Part 40!
Tell Me That I'll Open My Eyes! Part 41!
I Wanna Know! Have You Ever Seen The Brain? Part 42!
Enemy and Irony! Part 43!
I Ain't Sayin' he a Gravedigger! Part 44!
Prisoner of Society (Redux)! Part 45!
Their Story! Part 46!
The Witch is Back! Part 47!
The Roof is on Fire! Part 48!
I'm Dreaming of an Alright Christmas! Part 49!
Don't Waste Your Time on Me, You're Already the Vision Inside my Head! Part 50!
Dove Shack! Baby, Dove Shack! Part 51!
Just Don't Bite it! Don't Bite it! If You Don't Know What it is! Part 52!
Her Story 3! Part 53!
When Darkness Turns to Light, It Ends Tonight! Part 54!
They've been Struck by some Smooth Criminals! Part 55!
You have a boyfriend that looks like a girlfriend that I had last year! Part 56!
And I Will Always Dove You! Part 57!
Where is the Dove? Part 58!
And the Shadow of the Day will erase the world in grey! Part 59!

Finally I opened with something witty. "This is insane" I said.

"Oh really?' Stikky retorted.

'Yeah, really" I contributed to the conversation.

'And what exactly is insane about it?'

'The fact that it's crazy... You know, I'm getting this weird feeling of déjà vu"

"I don't care" Stikky said.

"Just think" I instructed. "I know that's hard for you to do and everything but just think. Who's pulling the strings here? Who told you to do this?"

"I'm the leader of the Society, it was my idea"

"No, it wasn't. You want to rule the world, not destroy it"

"Who said anything about destroying it?"

"It's New Years Eve, and that countdown over there is going to destroy the world"

"Nothing's that powerful. And besides, I have a trusty informant who told me how this mind control device will work"

"Mind control device? How gullible are you? Jimbo has really screwed you up in the head. You know, more so"

"How do you know Jimbo?"

"That's a long story, but you've never seen him face to face. You don't know what he's capable of"

"I know what he's capable of, he's been helping me for some weeks to perform the most tricky of tasks, and I consider him an ally, and the fact that you have something against him just proves my opinion of him"

"Tsk tsk" A voice came from the corner and I spun around to stare me right in the face.

"Oh crap" I said.

"Who the hell are you?" Stikky asked.

"I'm your ally" Jimbo pulled out a gun and blasted Stikky across the room. "Trust is for the weak"

"Crap, I should have seen that coming" I said, then slapped my forehead. "I did see that coming!" The vision I'd been trying to stop coming true was now happening exactly like before.

"Now" Jimbo said. "Time to get down to business"

"Why are you doing this?" I asked.

Jimbo just shrugged. "It seems like a good idea, people annoy me"

I stared at the computer screen as the countdown started to beep and I realised the clock was down to one minute. There was darkness in the room, now that the sun had disappeared, and the only light was glowing from the computers.

"What did you do with Alana?" I insisted.

"Don't worry, she's safe. Well, at least for the next 50 seconds"

Without thinking, I shoved the Dove into my neck and slammed forward, throwing Jimbo across the room.

I rushed towards the computer and began looking for what it was connected to. Then Kemp spoke through the earpiece.

"It's the Pail. The Pail is the bomb!"

I concluded that he was talking about the Pail destroying the world, rather than being awesome in rap lingo. I sprinted towards the door, but suddenly got a dizzy spell.

"Oh crap, not now" I said in dismay, and with that, I fell to the floor and slipped into a vision, with five seconds left on the countdown.

***

The Holy Pail, in all its glory stood in the Society's yard when out of the blue, a spark flew off the Pail and engulfed the whole mansion. I was thrown up and out of the Earth's atmosphere to see the whole world blow up.

***

Just as quickly as the vision started, I snapped out of it and went for one final attempt to save the world in the two seconds left on the countdown.

With energy soaring through me, I sprinted at light speed, thanks to the Dove, charged through a wall so I was outside and rushed to the Pail, slamming straight into the Holy Pail just as it was scheduled to blow up. That's the last thing I remembered before the blackout.

Is this really how it ends for Micky and the gang? Did the Dove prevent the Pail explosion, or was Micky's final attempt to save the world in vain? Will this be the final paragraph of rhetorical questions to ever appear on the series? Or is there one final twist that ties everything up in a nice little package? Find out in the last ever Rebellion instalment in the Epilogue, next week.

"It's been three hours" I muttered, the three hours of course alluding to the time since anything interesting had happened since:

Let's See How Far We've Come! Recap!
It's The End Of The World As I Barely Knew It! Part 29!
Here I am, Losing my Election! Part 30!
What's Dove Got to Do With It? Part 31!
Say it Aint Joe! I Will Not Go! Part 32!
Alive With The Glory of Dove! Part 33!
I See A Bad Doom Arising! Part 34!
Doctor, Doctor! I'm Not With the News! Part 35!
SEX! Now that I've got your attention here's the next Micky Instalment! Part 36!
You're so vain! You probably think this blog is about you! Part 37!
Hey Micky, Look What You're Doing to Me! Part 38!
Dove is in the Air! Part 39!
His Story 2! Part 40!
Tell Me That I'll Open My Eyes! Part 41!
I Wanna Know! Have You Ever Seen The Brain? Part 42!
Enemy and Irony! Part 43!
I Ain't Sayin' he a Gravedigger! Part 44!
Prisoner of Society (Redux)! Part 45!
Their Story! Part 46!
The Witch is Back! Part 47!
The Roof is on Fire! Part 48!
I'm Dreaming of an Alright Christmas! Part 49!
Don't Waste Your Time on Me, You're Already the Vision Inside my Head! Part 50!
Dove Shack! Baby, Dove Shack! Part 51!
Just Don't Bite it! Don't Bite it! If You Don't Know What it is! Part 52!
Her Story 3! Part 53!
When Darkness Turns to Light, It Ends Tonight! Part 54!
They've been Struck by some Smooth Criminals! Part 55!
You have a boyfriend that looks like a girlfriend that I had last year! Part 56!
And I Will Always Dove You! Part 57!
Where is the Dove? Part 58!

"You'll find something" Kemp said through the ear piece.

"Or someone" I pointed out. "Any luck on your end?"

"Well, we still haven't found anyone to stab with the dagger you gave us. Are you sure you're alright without a weapon?"

"Uh, hello. I do have the Dove, the most powerful weapon not known to man"

"I thought the bomb that's destined to blow is the most powerful weapon not known to man"

"Or the Pail" Mac pointed out.

"Alright, I get your... point" I saw something that intrigued me. A flickering underneath one of the doorways. Since I always had a problem with doorknobs, I kicked the door in, to find a bunch of televisions with different rooms of the mansion portrayed on them. "Guys, they have security cameras here"

"Why?" Kemp asked.

"Uh, I dunno. Maybe because they're afraid a group of rebels will break in to foil their plot for world domination?" Mac said.

"Yeah right. Who'd be stupid enough to do... oh"

"So no luck finding anyone yet?" I checked for confirmation.

"No"

"Well, maybe that's because it's a little hard to find anyone when you're sitting in the kitchen, eating burgers"

"Are you spying on us?"

"Look, we're just waiting for one of the Society members to get hungry, that's all" Mac shrugged. At least I think she shrugged, it was hard to tell from the poor picture quality of the security camera.

I suddenly saw a movement on one of the other cameras and recognised the hooded cloak that always hid Stikky's face poorly.

"Guys, I found something. Look, we don't have much time. I may need backup, so Kemp, I'll be on the third storey, fifth room on the right"

"The girls' bathroom?"

"Oh..." I recounted. "Sixth door on the left. Only come in when you hear my signal. Doc, Mac, I need you to find where the bomb is. I don't care how you do it. Just do it quickly. Then let us know and get the hell out of here"

"Yeah, I do want to go to that New Years' party down the road" Doc agreed.

"We'll do our best" Mac promised.

"I wish that filled me with confidence" I said, and made my way to the big room portrayed on the screen.

I barged into the room, and saw that it was full of computers, dials and electrical equipment. It seemed familiar, as if I'd been there 18 parts ago, but at the same time I'd never been in the room before in my life.

I surveyed the room, and it seemed that all of the computer stuff was dictating what the destruction sequence and stuff would be like. I noticed a giant screen to the side of the room, and numbers were slowly counting down.

"A ticking clock? Could this be more cliché?"

"Micky" Stikky turned around to face me. "I've been expecting you"

"I had to ask" I rolled my eyes.

And thus, the shortest part in months ends as I stared down my father, and the sun outside the window set behind the horizon. This was the beginning of the end. What was I saying about clichés before?

After breaking into the Society mansion for the umpteenth time, and pointing out how lax the security there was after everything that's happened in:

Let's See How Far We've Come! Recap!
It's The End Of The World As I Barely Knew It! Part 29!
Here I am, Losing my Election! Part 30!
What's Dove Got to Do With It? Part 31!
Say it Aint Joe! I Will Not Go! Part 32!
Alive With The Glory of Dove! Part 33!
I See A Bad Doom Arising! Part 34!
Doctor, Doctor! I'm Not With the News! Part 35!
SEX! Now that I've got your attention here's the next Micky Instalment! Part 36!
You're so vain! You probably think this blog is about you! Part 37!
Hey Micky, Look What You're Doing to Me! Part 38!
Dove is in the Air! Part 39!
His Story 2! Part 40!
Tell Me That I'll Open My Eyes! Part 41!
I Wanna Know! Have You Ever Seen The Brain? Part 42!
Enemy and Irony! Part 43!
I Ain't Sayin' he a Gravedigger! Part 44!
Prisoner of Society (Redux)! Part 45!
Their Story! Part 46!
The Witch is Back! Part 47!
The Roof is on Fire! Part 48!
I'm Dreaming of an Alright Christmas! Part 49!
Don't Waste Your Time on Me, You're Already the Vision Inside my Head! Part 50!
Dove Shack! Baby, Dove Shack! Part 51!
Just Don't Bite it! Don't Bite it! If You Don't Know What it is! Part 52!
Her Story 3! Part 53!
When Darkness Turns to Light, It Ends Tonight! Part 54!
They've been Struck by some Smooth Criminals! Part 55!
You have a boyfriend that looks like a girlfriend that I had last year! Part 56!
And I Will Always Dove You! Part 57!

Mac and I retraced my steps and stared intently at the tiled floor in search of the Dove.

"How could you lose it?" Mac said incredulously.

"Sorry, I was a little preoccupied with fleeing and saving Kemp's life" I rolled my eyes.

"You'd think GT could have made a Dove that would stay in your neck rather than fall out all the time"

"Actually, that's a good point. It's never fallen off before, maybe I bumped into something while I was running away"

"Like your courage that was fleeing in the opposite direction?"

"Shut up"

"Oh, is this it?" Mac picked a silver pin off the floor and stabbed it in my neck.

"Ow! No!" I ripped the pin out of my neck as it started to bleed. "That's not even shaped like a bird. It's probably some emblem that fell off someone's shirt"

"Seems like a lot of metallic thingies fall off around here"

"Yeah, maybe the Pail has some sort of reversal magnetic power that prevents metallic objects from sticking to anything within a radius of some distance"

"What?"

"I dunno. It's not like the thing comes with an instruction manual"

"I wanna know what the hell those dudes were doing to the Pail. They had welding equipment and jackhammers and everything"

"They can't do anything to it. Maybe they were testing it's invincibility or something. Maybe the Pail has a weakness"

"What do you think their plans are for the Pail?"

"I dunno. But I'm more worried about what the weapon they're working on is" I was still too ignorant to make the connection.

"Where is everyone?"

"That's what I was wondering. The mansion seems kind of deserted lately"

"The smart ones are probably fleeing from the explosion that's gonna happen"

"First of all, the explosion is going to destroy the planet. Where are they going to run to? Mars? And besides, the Society still don't know it's a bomb. They think it's some kind of mind control device or something"

"That sounds complicated"

"Yeah, I remember at the start of the year, when the biggest confusion in my life was why the gun shop I worked at didn't sell ammo"

"Are you sure you dropped the Dove around here? I can't see it anymore"

"Well, it is camouflaged since it's the same colour as the floor. What sort of arrogant nutjob paints his floor silver?"

"Your dad"

"It was a rhetorical question"

"And I gave a literal reply"

"Whatever"
"What's the time?"

"I dunno, 5ish?"

"You've got a watch"

"Not anymore, that fell off a few steps ago. I was too lazy to pick it up"

"Wow, that Pail is powerful"

"Yeah. I still don't know how it's Holy though"

"I thought it was just a bad pun that the leprechauns came up with"

"You're probably right"

"What are you guys talking about?" A new person joined us.

"Your eyes" I said.

"Really?" Kemp was intrigued.

"Uh, no. What are you doing here? Where's Doc?"

"Well, you told us to be useful, so I suggested that we split up and try to find the bomb"

"Wait, what? You let Doc go off by herself?"

"Well, she was getting clingy. Besides, you guys were taking forever so I thought I'd help you look for the Dove"

"So Doc has the sole objective of finding and dismantling a bomb while we look on the floor for a trinket?" Mac said.

"No. She's also looking for Alana"

"And it's not a trinket, it's a weapon, and the only thing that can help us fight the Society" I added.

"What about the dagger?" Mac held up the dagger Shrimp had given us to kill Jimbo with.

"Eh" I shrugged. "Those leprechauns don't know what they're talking about"

"Found it" Kemp picked up the Dove that was in the middle of the centre tile.

"What do you know? He is good for something" Mac said.

I pocketed the Dove and sighed in relief. "Glad that's over with"

"Yeah, now all we have to do is thwart your father's company's evil plans, destroy your evil twin and then save the world. Then you promised to take me out for ice-cream" Kemp reminded me.

"Can I come?" a sinister voice said behind us. Mac, Kemp and I spun around. Kemp got dizzy doing so and fell over.

"I thought I told you to find Alana, stop the bomb, kill Stikky and Jimbo and pick me up some ice-cream" Kemp said.

"I'm a doctor" Doc said. "I may be good at healing people and making creepy voices but that's it. Besides I got bored and thought I'd join you guys. It was choc chip, right?" Doc handed Kemp an ice-cream cone.

"Where'd you get that from?" I asked.

"There was this big freezer around the back. There were a few bodies in there, but it was mostly ice-cream"

"Anyone we know?"

"Heard of rocky road or English toffee?"

"No, I mean the bodies"

"Oh, no, they seemed random to me, probably their latest victims in the Society's quest for world domination. I think I saw a President or two"

"Well, at least some good has come from all this"

"So did you find the Dove"

"Do pigs fly?" Kemp interrupted.

"What do you mean? We have the Dove" I pointed out.

"I know. I thought we were all just asking questions"

"It was starting to sound like an interview" Mac pointed out.

"So what now?" Kemp asked. "Split up again?"

"No, that hasn't worked out for us lately" I decided. "You three stick together and find out as much as you can that can stop this from happening. And I know this is impossible but be discreet"

"What are you gonna do?" Mac asked.

"I'm going to end this"

"How?"

"Oh. To be honest I hadn't thought that far ahead. Good luck"

And with that I departed from the remaining Rebellion members and prepared myself for a showdown that probably won't happen for at least another five parts.

Since opening random mysterious doors seems to have been a habit I've picked up during the chaotic events of:

Let's See How Far We've Come! Recap!
It's The End Of The World As I Barely Knew It! Part 29!
Here I am, Losing my Election! Part 30!
What's Dove Got to Do With It? Part 31!
Say it Aint Joe! I Will Not Go! Part 32!
Alive With The Glory of Dove! Part 33!
I See A Bad Doom Arising! Part 34!
Doctor, Doctor! I'm Not With the News! Part 35!
SEX! Now that I've got your attention here's the next Micky Instalment! Part 36!
You're so vain! You probably think this blog is about you! Part 37!
Hey Micky, Look What You're Doing to Me! Part 38!
Dove is in the Air! Part 39!
His Story 2! Part 40!
Tell Me That I'll Open My Eyes! Part 41!
I Wanna Know! Have You Ever Seen The Brain? Part 42!
Enemy and Irony! Part 43!
I Ain't Sayin' he a Gravedigger! Part 44!
Prisoner of Society (Redux)! Part 45!
Their Story! Part 46!
The Witch is Back! Part 47!
The Roof is on Fire! Part 48!
I'm Dreaming of an Alright Christmas! Part 49!
Don't Waste Your Time on Me, You're Already the Vision Inside my Head! Part 50!
Dove Shack! Baby, Dove Shack! Part 51!
Just Don't Bite it! Don't Bite it! If You Don't Know What it is! Part 52!
Her Story 3! Part 53!
When Darkness Turns to Light, It Ends Tonight! Part 54!
They've been Struck by some Smooth Criminals! Part 55!
You have a boyfriend that looks like a girlfriend that I had last year! Part 56!

One more wouldn't seem to hurt, and since I was trying to find either the head of an evil Society or the man bent on destroying the world, both of whom are arguably related to me, if I was going to open any door, the one with a sign on the front saying "the enemy" seemed as good as any.

Of course when I opened the door, I realised that I had misinterpreted the sign, as it was referring to the Society's enemy. I stared around the large room, which had photos and files and posters everywhere dedicated to the Rebellion and our various members.

There were many thoughts going through my head, the most prominent being to find out how much they knew about us (although it would have been better if I'd walked into a room dedicated to the Society with as much information as this one) but something caught my eye on the far wall. I walked over and saw it was a board with all of our members' photographs, our full names underneath, and even I didn't know my team's names since we used codenames, but the photos were definitely of Slappy Bag, Dr Kickass, Corn Cobbler, Nanananana Pacman, Super Sexy Spy Specialist, Super Sexy Spy Specialist's Sister, Super Sexy Spy Specialist's Sister's Snake, Desert Dessert, Menace, Perminator, Mr Potato Head, Dyslexic Peet, Tyrannosaurus Sex, Poolmeister, Inventigator, Doc, Mac, Frogger, Blow Job and yours truly, Hawk Eye, a codename which I still hate to this day. What brought this collage to my attention was that the first fifteen photographs were crossed out in what looked like blood. I realised that this meant the Society had somehow found out Tyrannosaurus Sex, Corn Cobbler and Dr Kickass had died and assumed one of their members killed them, as opposed to the Jimbo they were all still ignorant of. I also realised that this meant after Menace, Desert Dessert and GT had quit earlier this week, they were still killed. I was glad to see Alana's photo was still uncrossed, though Jimbo had kidnapped her, so the Society just may not have found her body. Of course the four surviving, unkidnapped Rebellion members were inside the Society mansion which I realised was kind of stupid on our part.

I also quickly realised that Kemp's undercover work wasn't fooling anyone since they would have all the Rebellion members' faces memorised.

"Kemp, come in Kemp" I said aloud.

"What?" Doc said back through my earpiece.

"Is your name Kemp?" I said rhetorically.

"No, it's Olive"

"Look, you and Mac have gotta get out of here, I found a Rebellion Room. It has all our photos and files and stuff on us"

"We're already out"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you said we'd all meet back out the front at 4. It's now 4:01"

"Is Kemp there?"

"No, he's late too"

"Okay, I'll be out in a sec. Kemp!"

There was silence on the connection.

"Kemp!"

Finally Kemp's voice came through my earpiece. "We're spying. When we talk via technology, you're supposed to say 'over'. Over"

"Look, this is no time to be focused on how to do our jobs. Did you hear what I said?... Over"

"Nope, I've got a bad connection. I was assuming you were flirting with the girls again. Anyway, I've got a few Society members fooled. They're so gullible. They're going to lead me to the Dungeon of Secret Society Information in a minute. Over"

"Look, they're not fooled. They know who you are. What are you doing now? Over"

"Taking a dump. Why do you care? Over"

"Where's the toilet? Over"

"I dunno, there's like two dozen bathrooms in this place. Over"

"How do I get to it? Over"

"I dunno. Over and out"

"Not out! I need to come help you. Over"

"I still think I'm blending in. But it's about 14 doors down from some room that has the enema or something on the front of it. Except it's on the other side of the hall. Over"

"You mean the 'the enemy'? Over"

"I guess that's what it said, yeah. Over"

"And that didn't strike you as suspicious? Over"

"Eh, I wasn't paying much attention. Hey, dude, what the hell? You can't just barge in on a guy when he's sitting on the can. What are you all doing in here?"

"Kemp?" I said. But there was no answer. I quickly jumped into gear. But as I started leaving the room, I thought better, reached into my pocket, where I always keep emergency deodorant for days when Kemp is unbearably stinky, and a lighter which I keep to keep my pyromaniac habits in check. I sprayed the deodorant, lit the lighter, and within seconds the Rebellion Room was aflame, destroying all evidence of us in the first place.

Then I heard a loud beeping noise and realised I'd set off the smoke detectors. All this occurred in the timeframe of a few seconds, so I dropped my handheld flamethrower, which was weighing me down anyway, grabbed the last remaining object in my pocket, the Dove, shoved it in my neck and sped down the hallway, counting the doors I ran past, until I lost count at four, and ended up barging in on a random door, which luckily enough Kemp was being held hostage in.

I grabbed the guy with a gun pointed to Kemp's head and threw him against the wall. There were five other guys in the bathroom, and within seconds, I'd cracked one's head on one of the urinals, drowned two in two respective toilets and thrown another two out of the room, and through the door on the other side of the hall, which happened to be the girls' bathroom, and a few women screamed "perverts" and started kicking and beating the two men.

I picked Kemp up in my arms and ran out of the mansion, meeting up with Doc and Mac at the go carts.

"What took you guys so long?" Mac asked.

"Oh, you know, lighting a few fires, having a bathroom brawl, the usual" I shrugged.

"You know I still think I had them fooled into thinking I was a Society member" Kemp said.

"So that's why they were holding you at gunpoint?"

"I figured it was an initiation thing. You know, not letting the new guy poo in peace"

"Well, you were going to rest in peace if I hadn't saved your ass"

"Speaking of my ass, I still need to use the toilet. Can you put me down now?"

"Sure" I lowered Kemp back on the ground, before I realised that I could feel his weight. "Oh no" My hand went to my throat.

"Look, if you want to keep carrying me, you don't have to choke yourself until I say yes" Kemp rolled his eyes.

"No, I think I dropped the Dove while I was running"

"Oh, that can't be good" Doc said.

"That's an understatement" Mac groaned. "Alright, the Society already has one weapon, we can't give them another one. Me and Micky will go back in there. Doc, you and Kemp, I dunno, try and make yourselves useful"

"You know, I still need to poo"

"Everything comes down to poo with you, doesn't it?" Doc rolled her eyes.

"So can I? I feel a bad case of diarrhoea coming on"

"Shut up" Doc, Mac and I said. And with that, me and Mac went back into the enemy's lair, searching for a tiny silver object in the shape of a bird. Which wouldn't be too hard to find if the Society's floor wasn't made of silver. This was going to be a long day, with less than eight hours until the year and the world will end.

*Full song/blog title that wouldn't fit: Nobody told me that you have a boyfriend that looks like a girlfriend that I had earlier this year! Part 56!*

If someone wrote a book about awkward silences, this would have to be in the top 3. For a complicated relationship that happened before the second season (by which I mean Summer) began and before all of:

Let's See How Far We've Come! Recap!
It's The End Of The World As I Barely Knew It! Part 29!
Here I am, Losing my Election! Part 30!
What's Dove Got to Do With It? Part 31!
Say it Aint Joe! I Will Not Go! Part 32!
Alive With The Glory of Dove! Part 33!
I See A Bad Doom Arising! Part 34!
Doctor, Doctor! I'm Not With the News! Part 35!
SEX! Now that I've got your attention here's the next Micky Instalment! Part 36!
You're so vain! You probably think this blog is about you! Part 37!
Hey Micky, Look What You're Doing to Me! Part 38!
Dove is in the Air! Part 39!
His Story 2! Part 40!
Tell Me That I'll Open My Eyes! Part 41!
I Wanna Know! Have You Ever Seen The Brain? Part 42!
Enemy and Irony! Part 43!
I Ain't Sayin' he a Gravedigger! Part 44!
Prisoner of Society (Redux)! Part 45!
Their Story! Part 46!
The Witch is Back! Part 47!
The Roof is on Fire! Part 48!
I'm Dreaming of an Alright Christmas! Part 49!
Don't Waste Your Time on Me, You're Already the Vision Inside my Head! Part 50!
Dove Shack! Baby, Dove Shack! Part 51!
Just Don't Bite it! Don't Bite it! If You Don't Know What it is! Part 52!
Her Story 3! Part 53!
When Darkness Turns to Light, It Ends Tonight! Part 54!
They've been Struck by some Smooth Criminals! Part 55!

occurred, the awkwardness is a bit hard to sum up, but I'll try anyway. Before I lost my memory, or rather it was stolen from me earlier in the year, I was quite the hero, much like I am now, but a lot more anonymous as I tried to stop visions from coming true, before I even realised they were connected to the Society conspiracy, and later brought on Kemp as my sidekick. But literally the day before my vision, I was sleeping with a married woman, and I basically forgot all about her once the visions and weird stuff started happening. I hadn't seen her in person since, but before I got my memory back, she'd been in one of my visions that was almost a tour of the Society's lair, and she had been brought on as the Society's electrician, with the codename Lyght, who was incompetent and ignorant of the Society's evil plans. But once I got my memory back, I realised who it was but haven't run into her since, until I was caught in her office.

Now how could this be any more awkward? Running into an ex-affair now working for the enemy after not calling her back for 6 months? I'll tell you. Since the last time I saw her, hallucination or real, she was a woman. Now Lyght was a man.

Neither of us said anything for quite a while as we stared each other down. Then the door opened again and I dove behind a desk.

Miles, whose codename was Yuumm, an old cla$smate of mine and weaponry expert, who was also working for the Society, but thankfully was still a woman, walked in, and as I peered through the gap in the desk, it took every ounce of restraint I had not to throw up.

"Hey baby" Yuumm said, and kissed the male Lyght on the lips. "What's going on?"

"Not much" Lyght said, her voice still feminine, so the sex change obviously wasn't completely operational yet. "I tried changing a lightbulb in the hall but it's obviously a three man job. Then I came back to my office to find Micky"

"Micky? As in leader of the rebellion?" Yuumm said in shock.

"No, as in mouse" I said sarcastically, standing up. "What the hell is going on here? There's some weird sex chamber next door and in here there's my ex-girlfriend, now a man, and my old ****ate, now shim's lover who are both hell bent on being part of a scheme to take over the world!"

"Wait, were Bob and Jane using my T-Mart sex chamber again?" Lyght said.

"We didn't exchange pleasantries" I said.

"So what are you doing here?" Yuumm asked.

"For the life of me, I can't remember" I said. "But it had something to do with saving the world or something"

"You wouldn't happen to know what happened to Brain, do you? Nobody's seen her in days"

"Uh..."

"Because I don't mind if you killed her, it got her out of our relationship"

"What?"

"Oh, Lyght here was cheating on me with that hoochie"

"I see becoming a man hasn't changed your infidelity ways" I said to Lyght. "Though if you wanted to sleep with women so badly, I don't know why you chose Brain, she was closer to a man than even you are"

"What do you mean 'was'?" Lyght said suspiciously.

"Oh, no, I'm not falling for the whole 'tell the enemy everything about our plan' trick"

"Enemy? I'm just an electrician"

"Yeah, and not a very good one" Yuumm chimed in.

"Well, I didn't make a good woman either, people change"

"If I can interrupt this lover's quarrel briefly" I said. "Can you tell me if you've built any more big weapons lately?"

"You mean like that one that wiped out your memory?" Yuumm said nonchalantly. "Nope. Everyone's more focused on the big weapon"

"Uh, isn't that what I just asked?"

"No, you asked if I was making any guns or weapons. And I've just been making the usual. The big weapon is something very few of us are in on"

"And what is it?"

"Well, they're modifying it to control people's minds, and therefore control the world"

"Modifying what?"

"Look, that whole not falling for it trick works both ways" Yuumm rolled her eyes.

"Well, the Society's being manipulated. Whatever the weapon is, it's going to destroy the planet"

"Do you know how farfetched that sounds?"

"And a weapon that controls people isn't?"

"Guys, stop fighting" Lyght said. "Micky's just jealous"

"No I'm not" I said. "I'm mad because you're both part of a corporation that's killing innocent people"

"Hey, I just fix the wiring" Lyght said defensively.

"Yeah, and I just make the guns that people are getting killed with" Yuumm's argument wasn't as convincing.

"Okay, I've had enough of this" I said, and stuck the Dove into my neck. A surge of energy went through my body and quick as a flash, I grabbed Yuumm and Lyght, threw them into the secret entrance of the sex chamber, slammed the bookcase shut, then yanked the desk and pushed it against the bookshelf so that the two strangers, and two strange familiars would be trapped down there.

I quickly got the hell out of the office and continued down the hall, listening carefully for anyone coming, but the hallway was still deserted.

"Come in Micky" Mac said through my earpiece.

"I'm already in" I said.

"No, I meant can you hear me"

"Oh"

"Well, can you?"

"Of course. What's up?"

"Well, me and Doc are in the side yard, but we can't get close to the Pail"

"Why not? It doesn't bite"

"Well, there's like twenty people fiddling around with it or guarding it"

"Why don't you use that paralysing power on them?"

"I tried, the Pail seems to be a forcefield or something, because my powers aren't working on them"

"Alright. I don't know why they're so protective of the Pail all of a sudden, you'd think they'd be more focused on the weapon"

"Yeah. How's Kemp's undercover work going?"

"I dunno, I haven't checked in, because if he starts talking to us, it'll look like he's talking to himself, and that'll make the Society suspicious"

"I hear ya. Any luck finding Stikky or your evil half?"

"Not yet. I did run into an ex and his girlfriend though"

"What?"

"Never mind. I've gotta get back to work" I opened a random door, and was shocked to see what was inside.

What deep dark secrets are inside that deep dark door? Will anyone comment on this week's episode? Will I keep doing these random rhetorical remarks? Find out in the next instalment of Rebellion. Saturdays at noon and reruns whenever anybody clicks on the button that leads them to these blogs.

Kemp having a good idea for the first time during:

Let's See How Far We've Come! Recap!
It's The End Of The World As I Barely Knew It! Part 29!
Here I am, Losing my Election! Part 30!
What's Dove Got to Do With It? Part 31!
Say it Aint Joe! I Will Not Go! Part 32!
Alive With The Glory of Dove! Part 33!
I See A Bad Doom Arising! Part 34!
Doctor, Doctor! I'm Not With the News! Part 35!
SEX! Now that I've got your attention here's the next Micky Instalment! Part 36!
You're so vain! You probably think this blog is about you! Part 37!
Hey Micky, Look What You're Doing to Me! Part 38!
Dove is in the Air! Part 39!
His Story 2! Part 40!
Tell Me That I'll Open My Eyes! Part 41!
I Wanna Know! Have You Ever Seen The Brain? Part 42!
Enemy and Irony! Part 43!
I Ain't Sayin' he a Gravedigger! Part 44!
Prisoner of Society (Redux)! Part 45!
Their Story! Part 46!
The Witch is Back! Part 47!
The Roof is on Fire! Part 48!
I'm Dreaming of an Alright Christmas! Part 49!
Don't Waste Your Time on Me, You're Already the Vision Inside my Head! Part 50!
Dove Shack! Baby, Dove Shack! Part 51!
Just Don't Bite it! Don't Bite it! If You Don't Know What it is! Part 52!
Her Story 3! Part 53!
When Darkness Turns to Light, It Ends Tonight! Part 54!

couldn't have come at a better time. It was midday by the time we reached the Society mansion. Doc had flushed the remaining poison out of my system so I was up and healthy again. Since our method of transportation was blown up the last time we messed with the Society, we stole some kids' go carts and in no time we were a few towns over and hiding in the front garden of the Society base.

"Okay, Mac, can you disable the security cameras out the front?" I said.

"No problem" Mac concentrated and the two cameras on the roof of the mansion blew up.

"Well, I was hoping for something more subtle, like turning out the power" I shrugged. "Okay, so Kemp and I will sneak through the side window. The place is swarming with guards-"

"You mean those two standing on either side of the door?" Doc said.

"Yep" I confirmed. "So you two know what to do?"

"Yeah" Mac said. "But I still don't like being objectified"

"Mac, you took your shirt off before we even left the Dove Shack"

"I was hot"

"I'll say" Kemp said. "I still think my plan was genius. I mean, I heard strip poker, and I realised that flashing the Society guards would help us break in"

"Yeah, you can connect the dots as well as any 4 year old can" I said. "Now we can't really see the guards very well from here but they didn't seem to notice the cameras above them blowing up. I guess they're used to odd noises. Now, Kemp and I will go this way, and when we signal, you two go the other way and make them turn their heads, so to speak. Just talk and distract them for a while. When Kemp and I get in, we'll let you know through the earpieces. Once we're in, we'll split up, I'll go in search of Jimbo or Stikky, Kemp is going to go undercover and figure out what and where the bomb is. Now Mac and Doc, once you leave the guards, circle back around the block and jump the back fence. Use what little stealth you have to get any information you can. If someone finds you, get the hell out. We'll meet back at the go karts at 4, which will give us enough time to foil their evil plan, assuming I haven't already taken care of it"

"Wait, who are we, Micky's Angels?" Doc said. "This is dangerous stuff"

"You're kidding, right?" I said.

"Of course I'm kidding. What do you think I am, chicken?"

"Alright. Let's go" Me and Kemp snuck across the front yard, keeping out of the eyesight of the guards, until we were too close to go any further. Lying on the grass we looked at the two girls rip off their remaining clothes. This startled the guards and without looking to see what happened, Kemp and I moved as quickly as possible to the front window.

"Damn, it's shut completely" Kemp whispered, and we tried pushing on the glass, sliding the glass over and cutting the glass with our blunt fingernails, but finally Kemp just picked up a rock and shattered the window. I crawled in and Kemp followed.

"I guess subtlety doesn't exactly run in the Rebellion veins" I rolled my eyes. "Let's move quickly, the guards had to hear that" I switched on my earpiece. "We're in girls" I said.

"Yeah, we heard" Doc's voice crackled back.

"So did the distraction go well?" Kemp asked.

"Actually, turns out we were way off on this one. The security guards were chicks. And they were pissed to see two naked girls on Society property. I tried convincing them we were there to get them to change their phone policy"

"What happened?" I asked.

"Well, they were about to beat the crap out of us, but then Mac used one of her powers to paralyse them and we ran off"

"Wait, you can do that?" I asked.

"Well, yeah" Mac's voice came back.

"Why didn't you say that to begin with?"

"You never asked"

"Unbelievable" I said. "Okay, we'll be in touch"

"Haven't you already been touched?" Doc giggled.

"I said be in... never mind" I turned the earpiece off.

"So what now?" Kemp said. We were walking down a corridor and had yet to see a single person. "Where is everyone?"

"I dunno, but it makes our job a lot easier. Now remember, you're Kyle Edward Matthew Panther, a new Society employee of the Swedish conglomerate, and you're here to discuss the possibility of the Society becoming international, but you need full disclosure on all projects. Just make sure you don't get caught by Stikky, who would obviously know of any international plans"

"Kyle Edward Matthew Panther?" Kemp said incredulously. "What were you saying about subtlety before? And why would I introduce myself using my middle names as well"

"Just say it's a Swedish custom"

"That's the stupidest custom I've ever heard of"

"Ditto" Doc said through the earpiece.

"Dammit, I thought I turned this off. Stupid thing's broken"

"That's what she said" Kemp put up his hand for a high five"

"International criminal bosses do not make jokes about vibrators" I said.

"Well, it's a good thing I'm not an international criminal boss"
"You're not exactly a method actor, are you?" I rolled my eyes. "Okay, you find some people to talk to. Everyone knows me, so I have to stay hidden and look for Stikky. I dunno if Jimbo is here yet, but he will be, he wouldn't miss this"

"Yeah, but Stikky obviously hasn't seen Jimbo yet or he would have thought he was you and tried to kill you again. I wish my father paid as much attention to me"

"You know what? I'm gonna check this room first" I said, opening a random door in the hall. "Get going"

I closed the door behind me. Nobody was inside, which worked out well for me, as I could use my super secret methods to find any information I needed.

After completely trashing the room and finding nothing, I shrugged and headed for the door, when I heard sounds coming from inside the walls. I noticed the bookshelf leaning against the wall, and I'd thrown all but one book off the shelf, which stood in the centre of the middle shelf. Remembering practically every movie ever invented, I grabbed the top of the book and yanked. Rather than coming out of the shelf, the book pushed down like a lever and the bookshelf did a 180 degree turn with me on the platform that turned, and I was suddenly in another secret room.

It was dark, so I felt around for a light switch. I found one and flipped it on. Instantly the room was bathed in light. The sound I heard became blatantly obvious.

"Ahem" I said.

The guy looked up from who he was doing. "How'd you find this place?" The stranger asked. "Wait, do I know you from somewhere?"

"No. Carry on" I rolled my eyes. All that was in the room was a bed with two Society members screwing.

"Don't tell anyone about this place. Stikky doesn't know I 'sleep' on the job" the guy said.

"Fine. Why did you make this whole hidden place just to have a place to have sex?"

"I dunno. Seemed like a good idea at the time"

"Later" I waved, and pulled the book again to bring me back to the office. Well, that was a waste of time. And just when I thought I was getting a lead, it just turned out to be office bootie buddies.

I arrived back at the trashed office, only to find that the room was no longer vacant. And Lyght looked pissed.

As my mind floated through nothingness, I was too distracted about being close to death to worry about the events of:

Let's See How Far We've Come! Recap!
It's The End Of The World As I Barely Knew It! Part 29!
Here I am, Losing my Election! Part 30!
What's Dove Got to Do With It? Part 31!
Say it Aint Joe! I Will Not Go! Part 32!
Alive With The Glory of Dove! Part 33!
I See A Bad Doom Arising! Part 34!
Doctor, Doctor! I'm Not With the News! Part 35!
SEX! Now that I've got your attention here's the next Micky Instalment! Part 36!
You're so vain! You probably think this blog is about you! Part 37!
Hey Micky, Look What You're Doing to Me! Part 38!
Dove is in the Air! Part 39!
His Story 2! Part 40!
Tell Me That I'll Open My Eyes! Part 41!
I Wanna Know! Have You Ever Seen The Brain? Part 42!
Enemy and Irony! Part 43!
I Ain't Sayin' he a Gravedigger! Part 44!
Prisoner of Society (Redux)! Part 45!
Their Story! Part 46!
The Witch is Back! Part 47!
The Roof is on Fire! Part 48!
I'm Dreaming of an Alright Christmas! Part 49!
Don't Waste Your Time on Me, You're Already the Vision Inside my Head! Part 50!
Dove Shack! Baby, Dove Shack! Part 51!
Just Don't Bite it! Don't Bite it! If You Don't Know What it is! Part 52!
Her Story 3! Part 53!

On the other hand, I couldn't concentrate on the nothingness either, as I barely felt alive. It had seemed like forever since I had been having a pleasant conversation with the Mexican Apple Poisoner by the name of Jimbo, when suddenly I opened my eyes and felt recharged as life and colour spread around me and I was back lying on the crappy couch at Jimbo's apartment. I immediately wished I was back in the sickly nothingness.

"Get off me!" I shouted, pushing Kemp face off my lips and spitting thoroughly.

"Uh, you're welcome" Kemp rolled his eyes.

"What the hell were you kissing me for?" I asked.

"Well, I saw you passed out on the couch and at first I figured you'd had one too many daiquiris, but then I figured Jimbo wouldn't be generous enough to let you drink yourself to death when he could get rid of you quicker. Then I saw your half-eaten apple and put two and two together. After I realised that it equalled four, I went back to the problem at hand and figured out that Jimbo must have poisoned you. I found the fruit bowl of weaponry on the kitchen counter, and the instruction booklet on top of the fridge, and figured out that to reverse the apple effects, a modified banana would heal you within five minutes. So I fed you the banantidote but after four minutes, it still wouldn't work, so I tried plan B, and figured in fairy tales, a handsome prince kissing the victim miraculously cures the poison-"

"But you're neither"

"Come on, I'm kind of handsome. And my mother was so slutty, it's possible my father is a Swedish king. Besides, it worked, didn't it?"

"I guess. So how long was I out? I hope it wasn't a hundred years or something like that, was it?"
"Please, it was barely a hundred hours. In fact, it's not even half that"

"So how long do we have"

"Well, it's December 30th at 11pm"

"So 25 hours maximum" I realised, sitting up on the couch.

"Actually, it's more like 20 hours, because the Society mansion is in a different timezone than Mexico, five hours ahead.

"Crap" I said. "Where are the girls?"

"I left them at the Dove Shack"

"What? Why?"

"Well, only one of us could use the Dove to get here" Kemp said.

"But Doc's a doctor. Shouldn't she have come?"

"Well, we didn't know you'd fall for the oldest trick in the book and eat a poisoned apple"

"Um, I was hungry" I pointed out.

"Whatever. Jimbo's long gone, so I think he must be fulfilling his plan or something"

"Speaking of plans, what's ours?"

"Oh, we were too busy to come up with a backup plan"

"You've been hanging out in an abandoned cubby house"

"Well, yeah, but Alex tracked us down and shot Mac in the arm, and then I accidentally manslaughtered him, and then we had to frame a driver by making it look like a hit and run, and then the last living leprechaun gave us a dagger, and then he died, and then I came to find you, and then I found you passed out, and then I saw you'd eaten an apple and then I did maths for a few seconds-"

"Right, you told me that part" I said. "So how do we get out of here?"
"Well, I figured I'd use the Dove to run back and you could hawk out and fly home"

"Um, I only just became conscious again and I doubt all the poison has left my system. I don't have the strength to morph into a bird right now. Why don't I take the Dove and you morph?"
"Because I'm not an umption. What does that leave us with?"

"Well, since you've already tried making out with me, I'm sure you won't mind giving me a piggy back home"

Kemp shuddered. "Fine, hop on" Kemp shoved the Dove into his neck, I hopped on his back and he sprinted back to the Dove Shack. We got there just as the sun began to rise.

"Well, I guess it ends tonight" I sighed.

"Yeah, I figured that out from the title" Kemp fourth-walled.

"What happened to the door?" I asked as I stumbled through the hole where the door barely was before.

"What door? I don't remember a door" Kemp shifted his eyes.

"Uh, whatever. What happened in here?" I looked around the room, seeing Doc and Mac asleep in the middle of the room, surrounded by a bunch of cards that were acting as a blanket of sorts.

"Huh?" Doc shook herself awake. "Who's there? Why'd ya wake me up?"

"It's Micky" Kemp said.

"Oh, hey dude" she rolled back over and fell back asleep.

"How's your arm?" I asked Mac.

"Where've you been?" she asked and rolled back over and went back to sleep.

"You guys will have plenty of time to sleep tomorrow, when the world ceases to exist" I shook the two awake again. "Right now, we need a plan"

"For a New Years party?" Mac said hopefully.

"Uh, no, to stop the Society"

"There's no way I'm going back to the mansion" Kemp said.

"Me neither" Mac said.

"Well, I've never been, but from what I've heard, it doesn't sound like a pleasant atmosphere" Doc shrugged.

"Come on guys, I'm not doing this alone" I insisted.

"Why don't we play strip poker?" Mac suggested.

"Please, you don't even know the rules of snap" I rolled my eyes. "Though the game would help me relax and I come up with the most ingenious plans when I'm nude... no, we don't have time"

"Why don't we play strip poker, and you supervise?" Doc suggested.

"How would that help us come up with a plan?"

"Oh, right, the plan"

"Guys, this gives me a brilliant idea" Kemp said. "And that's a first for me"

"Great, what's the plan?" I was intrigued, and while it was hardly a theory of relativity, Kemp's plan did seem pretty flawless. Plus it was easier to understand than anything Einstein could come up with.

***

"Any word on who the Leprechaun Legacy is talking about yet?" Stikky asked.

"Nope. I mean, not yet, sir, but I'm working on it" WhizKid said.

"No matter, we have all the time in the world. Have you had any luck finding out who our anonymous partner is?"

"Nope"

"Why do I never hire the competent applicants?" Stikky asked rhetorically. "Anyway, we're on schedule, right?"

"I've been following the modifications to a T" WhizKid promised. "Your brainwashing addition will be up and running within the hour. Do you know why this Jimbo fella is helping us?"
"No, but I'm going to meet him for the first time tonight, just before we go through with the plan. Remember, as soon as the New Year comes, the switch is flipped"
"No switch necessary. Everything's automatic, there's a countdown and everything. I've finished the plans. By midnight, the world will be under the Society's control. I just wish our members didn't keep getting killed off"

"Speaking of being killed off, has Alex tracked down the last Rebellion members yet?"

"Actually, he said he had a lead a few days ago, but that was the last we heard from him"

"What?"

"Look, don't shoot the messenger, but-"

"I wouldn't be me if I didn't" Stikky drew a pistol and shot WhizKid through the head.

"Now who is my second in charge going to be?"

"What about me?" Joe suggested.

"Look, the only reason I let you out of the dungeon was because you're the new moving target for the sniper training this afternoon" Stikky rolled his eyes. "But I trusted Alex. I don't know who can supervise these fools now. On the other hand, I may not need a team after tonight"

"Why am I here?" Joe asked.

"Because otherwise I'd be talking to myself, and that would be crazy. I need an excuse to do a random monologue. Brain would be my next choice, but she's nowhere to be found either. I don't think anyone else is up for the responsibility. I guess I can do some actual work for the Society for once instead of just being the boss. After all, it won't matter soon" Stikky stared at the sun rising in the distance. "It ends tonight"

"I know, I figured that out from the title" Joe fourth-walled. "Actually, that's not true, I didn't get it and Whiz explained it to me"

"Shut up, I'm not finished" Stikky said, despite the fact that his speech had ended. Not wanting to look like an idiot, he continued. "The leprechauns are extinct, the Rebellion members have severely dropped in numbers, and we have the most powerful device not known to mankind. Things are really looking up for the Society!"

After the events of:

Let's See How Far We've Come! Recap!
It's The End Of The World As I Barely Knew It! Part 29!
Here I am, Losing my Election! Part 30!
What's Dove Got to Do With It? Part 31!
Say it Aint Joe! I Will Not Go! Part 32!
Alive With The Glory of Dove! Part 33!
I See A Bad Doom Arising! Part 34!
Doctor, Doctor! I'm Not With the News! Part 35!
SEX! Now that I've got your attention here's the next Micky Instalment! Part 36!
You're so vain! You probably think this blog is about you! Part 37!
Hey Micky, Look What You're Doing to Me! Part 38!
Dove is in the Air! Part 39!
His Story 2! Part 40!
Tell Me That I'll Open My Eyes! Part 41!
I Wanna Know! Have You Ever Seen The Brain? Part 42!
Enemy and Irony! Part 43!
I Ain't Sayin' he a Gravedigger! Part 44!
Prisoner of Society (Redux)! Part 45!
Their Story! Part 46!
The Witch is Back! Part 47!
The Roof is on Fire! Part 48!
I'm Dreaming of an Alright Christmas! Part 49!
Don't Waste Your Time on Me, You're Already the Vision Inside my Head! Part 50!
Dove Shack! Baby, Dove Shack! Part 51!
Just Don't Bite it! Don't Bite it! If You Don't Know What it is! Part 52!

I was now poisoned, unconscious and had no idea of my surroundings. Since I was on death's bed, for the first time in a while, I had no stories to tell...

***

Doc continued sitting on the hard surface of the Dove Shack-

"Stop calling it that" Kemp interrupted.

"I'm worried" Doc said. "Micky's been gone for over a day. He could be in trouble"

"He had to fly to Mexico" Mac pointed out. "It's not exactly down the road. Besides we promised to think of a Plan B while he was gone and we've been slacking off since he left, so the more time, the better"

"I guess"

Then there was a knock at the door, or what was left of the door from the crappy cubby house. The door opened and the three Rebellion members backed away.

"Well, if it isn't my ex-bride" Alex grinned at Mac.

"Yes it is" Kemp said. "She's right in front of you"

"It's a figure of speech" Alex said. "Now where's your boss?"

"As if we're going to tell you" Mac said.

"Uh, maybe we should do what the man with the gun tells us to do" Doc gulped.

"Oh, I'm sorry" Mac said. "Olive, this is my psychotic ex-husband, Alex. Alex, this is our group doctor, Doc"

"Quit stalling" Alex said.

"I see you're as polite as the last Society member I met" Doc rolled her eyes.

While Doc and Mac had been stalling Alex, Kemp had inched behind him and clubbed him over the head with the door, that easily lifted off its hinges.

Alex grunted, and fell to the floor, squeezing off a bullet before fainting.

"I need some help over here" Doc said, as she looked over Mac, who had fallen to the floor.

"No problem" Kemp rushed to her side. "We're a Swedish and a Doc above it all"

"Uh, fantastic" Doc said. "But it's just nicked her arm. Got a bandaid?"

"Sure" Kemp ripped a bandaid off his knee from where he had grazed it in a battle weeks earlier and placed it over Mac's bleeding arm"

"That's not very hygienic" Mac groaned.

"It'll have to do" Doc shrugged. "Should we check out Alan?"
"Alex" Kemp corrected. "And if by 'check out' you mean 'throw off a bridge' then absolutely"

"It'd be pointless anyway" Doc had already thrown the door off Alex. "He's dead"

"How?"

"A big splinter that goes from the back of his head, through his face. You can even see some of the brain at the tip of the wood"

"Cool, can I see?" Mac sat up.

"No time for that" another voice suddenly said, but a lot squeakier and less masculine than Alex.

"Who are you?" Kemp asked the little dude that stumbled off the rainbow.

"I'm the last remaining leprechaun on Earth. My name is Shrimp"

"Of course it is"

"I don't have much time left. The Legacy said that we would help bring the end of Jimbo, and since the few leprechauns that still lived died last night, and my Leprosy is going to win out in less than ten minutes, I thought you might need this" Shrimp handed Kemp a knife, which is harder than it sounds because he had to jump up in order to place it in Kemp's hand. "I worked for the Society, but now that I'm the last one left, I didn't want to give leprechauns a bad name-"

"You're already called Shrimp, it's a bit late for that" Doc pointed out.

"Be that as it may, this dagger is very special, if you plunge it through Jimbo's heart, he will die"

"Um, wouldn't that happen if any dagger went through his heart?" Doc said.

"Well, yeah, I just picked this up at a shop, and I figured delivering you a weapon may be our contribution to stopping Micky's twin"

"Well, thanks, but it's too late for that. Micky's already gone to hunt Jimbo"

"That wasn't a very wise decision. Look, I don't know much about this guy but he could be dangerous"

"Ya think?" Mac said sarcastically. "The guy that's going to destroy the world is dangerous? Thanks for the tip, don't know what we'd do without you"

"You're welcome" Shrimp said before falling to the ground, stiff. Five seconds later, he disappeared into the wind.

"Well, now that that's over, we have to come up with a plan to stop the Society" Mac said.

"I'd feel more comfortable discussing this without your husband's corpse in the room. Besides, if he could track us down, who knows who else can?" Doc pointed out.

"I have to help Micky" Kemp decided.

"How are you going to do that? You can't sprout wings and fly to Mexico" Doc pointed out.
"Maybe not" Kemp picked up the Dove and shoved it in his neck. "But with this, I can sure run there fast" And with that Kemp sprinted at jet speed out of the shack.

"Did he just leave two defenceless women in a shack where any number of evil beings could come in and kill us?" Doc asked rhetorically.

"Oh, don't be such a wimp" Mac dragged Alex's corpse out of the shack, through the small patch of shrubs and trees and laid him across the road so that a driver would be blamed for the murder and went back to the shack. "Now what's the plan to bring down the Society"

"Um, I'm a doctor" Doc pointed out. "What do I know about combat and missions?"

"Well, you might want to know more soon" Mac said. "Because otherwise the world's going to end, um, tomorrow"

"Fine, how about we go to the Society mansion, interrogate the members until we find out their plan, and then go after the boss to stop their evil plan?"

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard" Mac said. "I guess I'll have to come up with a plan myself. Now, we need to somehow break in to the Society's base, dodge the security, and find an office that could have documents or outlines of the master plan"

"Where are they going to be? In a folder marked 'My Evil Scheme'?" Doc rolled her eyes.

"Hey, at least I'm coming up with logical ideas"
"Logical? Don't you mean..."

And Doc and Mac argued for a long time, and never did come up with a suitable plan, so they decided to spend their possible second last day on Earth having fun so they played poker, despite the fact that neither knew the rules.

"I have a toilet flush" Mac put down a King of hearts and a 4 of spades.

"Snap!" Doc slammed her card down.

***

As for me, rescue wasn't as far away as I thought. But poisoned apples aren't exactly something that wear off easily, and with Kemp as my saviour, I think it's safe to say that I'm screwed. But at least in Part 54, I'll have a story to tell so I can stop digressing and being too lazy to narrate my own life.

As I flew my way to Mexico, rather than doing my usual thing of dwelling on everything that's happened in:

Let's See How Far We've Come! Recap!
It's The End Of The World As I Barely Knew It! Part 29!
Here I am, Losing my Election! Part 30!
What's Dove Got to Do With It? Part 31!
Say it Aint Joe! I Will Not Go! Part 32!
Alive With The Glory of Dove! Part 33!
I See A Bad Doom Arising! Part 34!
Doctor, Doctor! I'm Not With the News! Part 35!
SEX! Now that I've got your attention here's the next Micky Instalment! Part 36!
You're so vain! You probably think this blog is about you! Part 37!
Hey Micky, Look What You're Doing to Me! Part 38!
Dove is in the Air! Part 39!
His Story 2! Part 40!
Tell Me That I'll Open My Eyes! Part 41!
I Wanna Know! Have You Ever Seen The Brain? Part 42!
Enemy and Irony! Part 43!
I Ain't Sayin' he a Gravedigger! Part 44!
Prisoner of Society (Redux)! Part 45!
Their Story! Part 46!
The Witch is Back! Part 47!
The Roof is on Fire! Part 48!
I'm Dreaming of an Alright Christmas! Part 49!
Don't Waste Your Time on Me, You're Already the Vision Inside my Head! Part 50!
Dove Shack! Baby, Dove Shack! Part 51!

I was focused on the task at hand for once because it was a toughie. Assuming that Jimbo was still at the Villain Motel, I still had no way to stop him. At least Jimbo had a gun to defend himself. I was also worried that if I actually did have it in me to kill someone, it was a possibility if my evil twin died, so would I.

I had to admit though, it was cool, flying around the world as a hawk, but it had started raining and my feathers were all wet. As I swooped in for landing upon recognising a large glowing sign that read "Villain Vacancies Only", I managed to transform back into a human and went in search of room 666.

I considered barging in but thought it too impolite, so I knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" A familiar voice shouted.

"Uh" I tried to think of an appropriate pseudonym but couldn't. "Roo"

"Roo who?"

"Um, Roo Mservice"

"Oh, right, my Monday Sundae" Jimbo opened the door. "Oh, it's you"

"Yeah, it's me"

"Well, come on in"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't be a very good host if I didn't allow family members in out of the rain"

"You realise we're not technically related" I walked in.

"Meh. Make yourself at home"

I sat down on the couch and put my feet on the table.

"So, where's your backup?" Jimbo cracked open a beer.

"You killed them all"

"Oh, well, most of them" Jimbo said modestly. "But I can't take credit for all the kills, the Society did their fair share too"

"So you still have the Society fooled?"

"Yeah, they're gullible as hell"

"You realise why I'm here, right?"

"I assume it's to try and kill me?"

"Well, yeah, I do need vengeance for all my friends, and there's the bonus of not having the world destroyed"

"I understand. But you've flown far, you may as well have something to eat first" Jimbo chucked me an apple from a fruit bowl. I looked at it suspiciously. "It's an apple. A type of fruit that you eat"

"I know, but you're not called evil for nothing"

"Oh, please, do you think I'm unoriginal enough to give you a poisoned apple?"

"Okay, I see your point" I bit into the apple graciously. "So there's something I don't understand. What's powerful enough to destroy the world?"

"You mean other than me?"

"You know what I mean. Where'd you get a bomb that strong?"

"You really think I'm going to fall for that 'tell the enemy my evil scheme' ploy?"

"Yeah, I guess I wasn't being very subtle. You know I have to admit, this is not how I imagined our epic showdown to go"

Jimbo shrugged. "I'm full of surprises"

"I'm sure Pool would agree" I pointed to the stiff legs protruding from behind the TV.

"Oh, man, I thought I hid the corpse quite well. How do you know it's Pool? Oh, right, psychic boy, never mind"

"So were you planning on killing me any time soon?"

"Well, I was considering stopping by and slaughtering you on the way to the Society base tomorrow, but I assume you've moved from the Warehouse by now?"

"Yeah, thanks for the belated Christmas gift" I said sarcastically. "I always wanted to see three of my comrades' heads in a box"

"Well, it's your fault for sending them to me pre-emptively"

"It's your fault for shooting them and cutting their heads off"

"Hey, I'm willing to take part of the blame if you are"

I threw the apple core into the kitchen bin.

"Nice shot" Jimbo complemented. "That's at least a three-pointer right there"

"Have you got anything else to eat?" I asked.

"I have a few more apples"

"You don't have any more food whatsoever?"

"Look, I know this may seem like a cla$sy place but on my salary, fruit's the only option. I am expecting an ice-cream though"

"Can I have another apple then?"

"I don't know. There seems something pointless about letting my arch enemy eat all my food supply before I kill him"

"So you are planning to kill me then?"

"Eventually" Jimbo shrugged. "But there's still three days before the year and the world ends and I've pretty much prepared everything. So I figured I may as well have some fun and be social"

"You call this social? You could have at least brought a keg"

"Micky, poor remember"

"That makes two of us"

"Here" Jimbo threw me another apple. "But this is the last one"

"Thanks"

"Well, I do owe you"

"So where's my sister?"

"You really think my policy on not explaining my plan has changed?"

"Well, if you're going to kill me anyway...?"

"Every movie, the character is about to die when the baddie explains his plans, but they always escape. I can't take that risk"

"Pfft, you think too much" I took a bite out of the apple.

"And you don't think enough" Jimbo grinned.

"Huh?" I suddenly felt weak and light headed. "I guess you are unoriginal enough to poison an apple" I said incomprehensively as I passed out.

Will Micky escape? Will he die? Will Kemp, Doc and Mac be alright at the Dove Shack? Will the Society find out who Jimbo is? Will Jimbo come up with an original way of killing someone? Will I stop asking these rhetorical questions that always start with Will? You probably won't find out any of these answers and less in Part 53!