After what just happened in the unrealistic events of:

Let's See How Far We've Come! Recap!
It's The End Of The World As I Barely Knew It! Part 29!
Here I am, Losing my Election! Part 30!
What's Dove Got to Do With It? Part 31!
Say it Aint Joe! I Will Not Go! Part 32!
Alive With The Glory of Dove! Part 33!
I See A Bad Doom Arising! Part 34!
Doctor, Doctor! I'm Not With the News! Part 35!
SEX! Now that I've got your attention here's the next Micky Instalment! Part 36!
You're so vain! You probably think this blog is about you! Part 37!
Hey Micky, Look What You're Doing to Me! Part 38!
Dove is in the Air! Part 39!
His Story 2! Part 40!
Tell Me That I'll Open My Eyes! Part 41!

I was evidently convinced that I was dead, like most free falls from the air, to land on a giant pail handle before falling the extra few metres to land on the pail lid, while my head lay dangerously close to the edge, all in the form of a hawk would cause. If only life were so simple.

I opened my eyes, what must have been hours later, judging by the darkness surrounding the grounds, and at first the words "the Pail with all its powers that none of you stupid humans can begin to interpret, its invincibility, resurrection..." echoed through my head in the voice of the recently deceased leprechaun, but I quickly realised that if the Pail had somehow brought me back to life, then the pain wouldn't be so excruciating and that hawks must be structurally stronger than humans. Of course the question remained, how would I get off the Pail and get safely back to the base if half my limbs were broken and the ability to fly would likely have gone, what with me landing wing first on the fall down, and it too being irreparable. Then I noticed that during the fall, the Dove had fallen from the clutch of my claw and had fallen on the centre of the Pail lid, though still where I could see it.

Assuming this was my only hope, I pushed myself towards the Dove, which took a considerably long time, considering the Pail was incredibly large, and my frail bird body was incredibly small.

Still, I eventually reached the middle of the Pail, and grabbed the Dove triumphantly. My joy didn't last long however, because as soon as I reached the middle, I was suddenly thrown down the metal through an invisible hole and fell down towards the bottom, which I couldn't see in the dark. I braced myself for landing but it never came. Instead, I was suddenly spat out, through the side of the Pail (another imaginary hole) and landed on the grass outside. The bright side was, that despite the scary drop, I was healed, and didn't feel any pain. Unfortunately, I was still in hawk mode, and had landed at the feet of a lion.

Now most lions eat birds. Actually I have no evidence of this so do not use this as a source if your doing an essay on lions, or birds, or the food chain, or umptions, or whatever the hell they're teaching in schools these days. Anyway, this lion, much like me, was an umption, a shape shifter for those who don't know the lingo of crazy twists. Brain was also good at combat, and could willingly change between lion and woman, though with the shaved head, woman is a bit of a stretch. However, since humans generally don't eat birds, even if they are guarding a giant Holy Pail and haven't eaten in twenty minutes, I thought I was safe. However, Brain had noticed me, as a hawk suddenly drop out of the sky, and get thrown out of the Pail, and despite being ignorant, I'm fairly certain she'd realise something wasn't normal about this. Which is why I was willing myself to turn back into regular Micky.

Brain growled as she pawed at me. I pushed myself into the air, but she swatted me around like a... something that gets swatted a lot. Sorry for not coming up with the obvious metaphor of a fly, but I'm a little preoccupied with trying to survive here.

"Who are you?" Brain asked, as she pounced on me, and was so close to my face that I could see her yellow teeth.

"Why I'm a helper hawk, sent here to relieve you of your duties of guarding" I crossed my long nails, which is more difficult than it is for people.

"Really?" Brain had a mixed voice of eagerness and suspicion.

"Nah, I'm just kidding. I'm Micky, and I'm here to bring you guys down" I had no idea why I said that, but then I remembered what happened in the HORS with Alex, and how he had somehow used the power of the Pail to force us to tell the truth. So somehow the Pail could do this without the vessel of Alex, but obviously couldn't be used long distance, so the Society somehow managed to use this power, so that Alex could control us in the basement, which didn't last long. Despite this revelation, I really didn't care, and was more focused on trying to cover this truth with a lie.

"Ah, so you've finally mastered your umption skills?" Brain asked.

"Obviously not, or I'd be back to human and be kicking your butt right about now"

"Yeah, I don't think many humans could face a lion either. Where's all that strength you had in our last fight? You know what, I don't care. I could finish you off right now"

I sighed. "Fine, go ahead" I struggled to pull my wings loose of Brain's paws, to no avail, and as Brain lifted one of hew paws to squash me once and for all, I winced, and suddenly felt myself growing, and losing feathers, throwing Brain off me as I did so. And like that I was human again. Unfortunately, I wasn't a clothed human, and blood was flowing from my arms where Brain had dug her claws into.

"Cold out?" Brain smirked. At least I thought she was smirking, it's hard to tell with felines.

"Nah, it's just that you don't exactly turn me on" I was going to continue this witty argument but was interrupted by the Pail whirring, and suddenly the Pail spat something else out its side, and I realised it was the Dove. I lunged for it and threw it into my neck before I hit the ground. I rolled as soon as I landed and turned to face Brain as the familiar burst of energy went through my body.

I tackled Brain, which I realised wasn't a wise thing to do while naked. Of course I didn't realise immediately, and through the awkward and coincidental placing of body parts, I accidentally committed my first and last incident of beastiality.

This took me by horrific surprise, and it was then that Brain took advantage of this, and turned back into a human, a clothed one, so that I wouldn't accidentally do that again. She then threw herself at me, serving me several punches and slaps, before I got a hold of myself and kicked her with my left leg in the same place my middle leg and got her only seconds before. She was thrown across the yard and skidded across the grass, before jumping back up and charging at me again. I got myself ready to block and hit, which would be easy, because even the best martial arts expert in the world would be no match for the Dove. But without warning, she pulled out a small pocket knife, pushed a button, and suddenly she was holding a samurai sword. I remembered that Yuumm was an expert weapons creator, and had even made the weapon that had wiped out my memory earlier that year, but once again, I didn't care, because a crazy, bald chick was swinging a sword above her head, and was about to finish me off.

Thinking quickly, I forced myself to jump forward and land on my heels, so that I fell on my back and tripped Brain. The sword flew out of her hands and embedded itself into the Pail. Of course being an invincible Pail, the sword was spat back out and came spinning towards me as I got up. I caught it just in time, blade first. I screamed as the blood seeped through my fingers and I angrily threw the sword away, so that we could go back to fighting fair. And by fair, I meant with me at the advantage, given my powerful gadget. Unfortunately, with all the injuries in my legs, arms, body, and head, my co-ordination was off, and I had accidentally thrown the sword right through Brain's heart.

She fell to the ground, and it didn't take a genius to realise that she was dead. I knew that only one of us would survive the fight, but I never imagined killing another human being. And if anything I would have at least assumed it was Alex or Stikky, or someone who had killed one of my friends, or even a politician. I realised this would certainly mean war, and I could care less because I was more preoccupied with limping the forty kilometres back to Doc's house.

I finally arrived and pulled myself up the stairs, as the sun started coming out.

"It's a new day" I said to myself. I may have cheated and taken a taxi the last 39 and a half kilometres, but I had made it park at the end of the block in case we were followed, and I was exhausted. "I'm sure today will be much better"

I opened the door, and despite being naked, bruised and bleeding, expected a warm greeting from the Rebellion. Most of them seemed scared of me, and the others were asleep.

Finally Kemp said "Are you Micky or Jimbo?"

"Um, Micky" I said, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, thank God" Doc said, and rushed to my aid. It seemed to convince the rest of the room as well, who seemed more relieved.

"Okay, your injuries should heal, they don't seem too deep, though you may need a few stitches and you'll likely have internal bleeding" Doc continued her medical description as I wondered if something had happened here as well.

"Who's the hot guy?" When I realised who said this, I knew something had happened.

"That's your brother" Kemp explained to Alana.

"Are you sure? Because I'd love to get him alone"

I wasn't about to make the same mistake twice, particularly since I was practically passing out, but knowing that Alana had now had her memory erased, and that the group had apparently met Jimbo, something told me that my vision may be coming true already and Jimbo may have plans for Alana as well as the end of the world at the end of the year. But I could care less, because while I was being bandaged up, and the guys were telling me to put some clothes on, and the girls were telling me to keep them off, I was far more worried about my physical pain than my emotional scarring.

And as Doc pumped me full of morphine, and Kemp poured me a glass of rum, I knew that Brain would not be the last Society member I'll have to kill, and my conscience was slowly slipping away, as was my consciousness. And with that I closed my eyes, and didn't open them until days later, when the sound of bullets awoke me.

This was neither the time nor place to recall what happened in:

Let's See How Far We've Come! Recap!
It's The End Of The World As I Barely Knew It! Part 29!
Here I am, Losing my Election! Part 30!
What's Dove Got to Do With It? Part 31!
Say it Aint Joe! I Will Not Go! Part 32!
Alive With The Glory of Dove! Part 33!
I See A Bad Doom Arising! Part 34!
Doctor, Doctor! I'm Not With the News! Part 35!
SEX! Now that I've got your attention here's the next Micky Instalment! Part 36!
You're so vain! You probably think this blog is about you! Part 37!
Hey Micky, Look What You're Doing to Me! Part 38!
Dove is in the Air! Part 39!
His Story 2! Part 40!

So I'll skip that and go straight to the distressing plot point where I, in the form of a hawk, suddenly went into an unconscious vision. This wouldn't be too bad except for the fact that I was up in the clouds at the time, and started falling down, back towards the mansion yard I had flown past earlier that afternoon. Of course, I didn't know how close to the ground I was because I'd unwillingly been shoved into the vision and I was now in human form, staring around a large room of computers, dials, electrical equipment, and... me?

"Okay, I've seen enough, let me out," I said hopefully, but of course it didn't work, and wouldn't until I found out part of the Society's master plan. Of course if I died from the fall while in the vision, then there'd be no way of warning anyone about the plan anyway, so the whole thing seemed pointless to me, and I was trying to find a way out, rather than paying attention to the scene unfolding. Of course, if I was going to die, I may as well see what we're going to lose against, so I changed my mind and stared at the other me, who was talking to a cloaked figure I instantly recognised as my father, or Stikky as he was known by the Society and Rebellion members. The sun was just starting to set in the window outside.

"This is insane," The other me, who I will refer to as Micky 2, despite the fact that he was the most literal form of me in the scene at this time since I was technically falling towards the ground, said.

"Oh, really?" Stikky said.

"Yeah, really," Micky 2 contributed to the conversation. You know it probably makes more sense to call him Future Micky, but it's too late to change now.

"And what exactly is insane about it?"

"The fact that it's crazy"

I rolled my eyes, this was clearly going around in circles, and I was very anxious to live so that I could experience this scene from Micky 2's perspective when I become him in a few weeks' time.

Micky 2 seemed to have an epiphany when he said, "You know, I'm getting this weird feeling of déjà vu"

"I don't care" Stikky said. It was then that it occurred to me that this was the epic showdown of the father and son confrontation. I mean we'd briefly had a small battle at the Holy Pail, which I'm ashamed to say I lost, but this argument was a long time coming, since I'm sure Dad hated me from trying to stop his plans for world domination as much as I hated him foiling my attempts to stop his plans for world domination. Anyway, this was only a short pondering because what happened next revealed something I never saw coming.

"Just think" Micky 2 instructed. "I know that's hard for you to do and everything but just think. Who's pulling the strings here? Who told you to do this?"

"I'm the leader of the Society, it was my idea"

"No, it wasn't. You want to rule the world, not destroy it"

"Who said anything about destroying it?"

"It's New Years Eve, and that countdown over there is going to destroy the world"

"Nothing's that powerful. And besides, I have a trusty informant who told me how this mind control device will work"

"Mind control device? How gullible are you? Jimbo has really screwed you up in the head. You know, more so"

"How do you know Jimbo?"

"That's a long story, but you've never seen him face to face. You don't know what he's capable of" When Micky 2 said this, a chill went up my spine. I mean I was used to all the threats, and the world being destroyed when New Years comes along in two weeks, and Stikky becoming more gullible and crazy didn't surprise me, but when Micky 2 mentioned Jimbo's capability, it seemed like he, or I, or whatever, was talking from experience, meaning something happened to someone I care about, or possibly Kemp.

"I know what he's capable of, he's been helping me for some weeks to perform the most tricky of tasks, and I consider him an ally, and the fact that you have something against him just proves my opinion of him"

"Tsk tsk" A voice came from the corner and I was shocked to see yet another me join the room. What the hell, man?

Micky 2 and Stikky turned their attention to, um, Micky 3 and gasped. "Oh crap" Micky 2 said.

"Who the hell are you?" Stikky asked.

"I'm your ally" I realised what was going on as "Micky 3" or Jimbo pulled out a gun and blasted Stikky across the room. "Trust is for the weak"

"Crap, I should have seen that coming" Micky 2 said, then slapped his forehead. "I did see that coming!" I made a mental note not to make the same mistake Micky 2 had, then I realised he had probably done the same when he saw the vision. Damn, that's confusing.

"Now" Jimbo said. "Time to get down to business"

"Why are you doing this?" Micky 2 asked.

Jimbo just shrugged. "It seems like a good idea, people annoy me"

I stared at the computer screen as the countdown started to beep and I realised the clock was down to one minute. There was darkness in the room, now that the sun had disappeared, and the only light was glowing from the computers.

"What did you do with Alana?" Micky 2 insisted.

"Don't worry, she's safe. Well, at least for the next 50 seconds"

Micky 2 suddenly shoved something into his neck and slammed forward, throwing Jimbo across the room.

I cheered despite the fact that nobody could see or hear me. Micky 2 rushed towards the computer and began looking for what it was connected to. He suddenly seemed to spot something and ran across the room. He suddenly stopped midsprint, and looked like he was dizzy or something.

"Oh crap, not now" Micky 2 said in dismay, and with that, he fell to the floor and realised he was having a vision. The countdown continued on the computer screen as I braced myself.

4...3...2...!

***

And with that I suddenly snapped out of the vision, just in time to land head first on the Pail, and everything went black.

As I plummeted towards the ground, ignoring all that had happened in:

Let's See How Far We've Come! Recap!
It's The End Of The World As I Barely Knew It! Part 29!
Here I am, Losing my Election! Part 30!
What's Dove Got to Do With It? Part 31!
Say it Aint Joe! I Will Not Go! Part 32!
Alive With The Glory of Dove! Part 33!
I See A Bad Doom Arising! Part 34!
Doctor, Doctor! I'm Not With the News! Part 35!
SEX! Now that I've got your attention here's the next Micky Instalment! Part 36!
You're so vain! You probably think this blog is about you! Part 37!
Hey Micky, Look What You're Doing to Me! Part 38!
Dove is in the Air! Part 39!

I realised that despite the danger I was in, there was a split-second window between passing out and going into the vision where I had no stories to tell...

***

Kemp was confused. He wasn't used to being the centre of attention and all the Rebellion members seemed to be turning to him in the absence of Micky, who had turned into a hawk and flew away almost five minutes ago. However, Kemp had a foolproof plan to stop everyone turning to him.

"Me no speaky no English"

"Aw, man" Dyslexic Peet groaned. "I knew it"

"Of course he speaks English" Dr Kickass said. "He's been speaking it fine for months. Except he never got the hang of double negatives"

"Okay, fine, but I'm Swedish, do you really think you can trust me? I mean, the leprechauns turned out to be Irish and they betrayed us"

"Yeah, but you're too stupid to lead a double life" Desert Dessert pointed out.

"Oh yeah. Fine, what do you want to do now?"

"I want to find out how Micky did that morphing thing" Doc was still staring out the window.

"Me too" GT agreed. "But I'd also like to relax"

"Sounds like a plan" Kemp figured there was no way he could screw up a plan in which nobody does anything. "Alright, Alana, you tend bar, Slappy Bag and Menace can play pool, Corn Cobbler, turn on the telly, and Doc, why don't you have a stripper pole in this place?"

"Uh, never thought of it" Doc said sheepishly.

"Alright, everyone else in the hot tub. Let's move it people!"

But before anyone could do anything, footsteps were heard coming up the stairs, and the door was opened.

Kemp was relieved to see his old pal Micky standing in the doorway, grinning. "Sup guys?" He asked grinning around at the Rebellion members scattered around the room.

"Hey Micky, I knew you'd be back" Super Sexy Spy Specialist's Sister said. "My sister said you were flying south for the winter"

Kemp saw Micky raise an eyebrow at this, before shrugging it off.

"So what are you doing back so soon? What did you find out?" Alana asked.

"Uh... well, I missed you guys so I figured I'd come and check up on you guys"

"Seriously?" Mr Potato Head said. "Geez, you're even needier than Kemp!"

"Hey!" Kemp said, before realising. "Oh, yeah, who am I kidding?"

"So it's not everyday you turn into a bird. How was your flight?" Doc asked.

"Huh?" Micky seemed to be very confused. "Oh, it was fine. Check out what I got on my way here" And without warning, Kemp farted.

"Ugh, that's disgusting. Could you not interrupt me when I'm trying to be dramatic?" Micky sighed.

"You always laugh at my farts. You say it's like my butt has a different accent too" Kemp was now confused. It was contagious as the rest of the room started mumbling their confusion too.

"Look, it doesn't matter" Micky suddenly got a hold of himself, and pulled out a really cool looking gun.

"Awesome" Kemp stared at the weapon, grinning. "Can I hold it?"

"No. Let me show you what this baby can do" And without warning, Nanananana Pacman farted. "Would people stop doing that?" Micky rolled his eyes.

"You don't seem like yourself" Alana said.

"Oh, I'm more myself than anyone"

"Well, that's obvious" Perminator said, rolling his eyes.

And without warning, before anyone could speak or fart, Micky suddenly swung the gun around, aiming at Alana and pulled the trigger. A beam of light slammed into Alana's chest, and with the last thing she saw being her beloved brother betraying her, she collapsed to the ground.

People started screaming, or in Kemp's case, shrieking at this turn of events.

"You're not Micky" Kemp stared at the man, as he backed away.

"Took you long enough" Jimbo grinned. "Sorry to cut the party short but I must be off"

And before anyone could spring into action or fart, Micky's evil twin was out the door. Kemp was tempted to chase after him, but turned his attention to his friend, and leader's sister, as he crouched beside her body.

The rest of the Rebellion had calmed down and crowded around her body as Doc pushed to the front and started examining her.

Kemp was too distraught to be turned on by any of the girls within such close proximity of him, and he swallowed the urge to sob, for he didn't want his country to be shown as even weaker than they're portrayed now.

"No pulse, no heartbeat..." Doc continued spurting out medical mumbo jumbo Kemp didn't understand.

"I don't get it" Slappy Bag spoke up. "From what the leprechauns told us, Jimbo sounded like someone that would think out a plan and follow through with expertness and silence, but he just barged in and shot his sister"

"Alana's not his sister" Kemp said. "Jimbo is related to Micky but not to Alana"

"That doesn't make sense" Tyrannosaurus Sex argued.

"Actually from the leprechaun's description, it seems plausible that the stem of-" GT started saying scientific mumbo jumbo before she was interrupted.

"What does it matter?" Dr Kickass asked. "Alana's gone"

"Alana's gone" Doc confirmed in a sad tone. "I can't find any evidence of a wound or blood of any kind, but she's non-responsive and isn't breathing"

"Maybe she's having a vision like Micky does?" Kemp said hopefully.

"She was shot" Doc pointed out.

"Yeah, by a gun that doesn't shoot bullets" Kemp argued.

"What does it matter? Alana's gone" Dr Kickass sighed.

"What is that, your catchphrase?" Kemp said aggressively.

"No, you shut up!" Dyslexic Peet butt in.

"Nobody's talking to you!" Corn Cobbler shot back.

"Oh no, he di'nt!" Desert Dessert taunted.

Everyone started shouting at once, and Kemp realised that being Sub-Vice President of the Rebellion was not a task he was up for. Then he realised with Alana gone, he was Vice President, and he shouldn't be provoking the fight.

"Enough!" He yelled.

"No, you're enough!" Mr Potato Head called out, and was subsequently hit in the back of the head by Super Sexy Spy Specialist.

"Thanks Quad-S" Kemp said gratefully. "Now listen up. I've just lost a very close friend, as have all of you, but this is our leader's sister, and we cannot just argue over her death. Let's give her death scene the respect it deserves"

With that the room filled with silence and sorrow.

"Geez, who died?" Alana surveyed the quiet room.

"Would you be quiet, we're trying to mourn your death!" Kemp snapped. "Alana?"

"Death? Wha- who's Alana?" Alana sat up. "Wait, who are all of you. Who am I?"

"Oh, crap, not this again" said all of the blog readers simultaneously.

Alana's memory's been wiped! Kemp's been demoted to his previous position! The Rebellion is more confused than ever! And Jimbo's certainly on the rise! What will come of all this? Who knows? I sure don't. But what I do know is there's a lot more coming, as Micky's vision will show you in the next instalment, "Tell me that I'll Open my Eyes!"

I didn't have time to remember what happened in:

Let's See How Far We've Come! Recap!
It's The End Of The World As I Barely Knew It! Part 29!
Here I am, Losing my Election! Part 30!
What's Dove Got to Do With It? Part 31!
Say it Aint Joe! I Will Not Go! Part 32!
Alive With The Glory of Dove! Part 33!
I See A Bad Doom Arising! Part 34!
Doctor, Doctor! I'm Not With the News! Part 35!
SEX! Now that I've got your attention here's the next Micky Instalment! Part 36!
You're so vain! You probably think this blog is about you! Part 37!
Hey Micky, Look What You're Doing to Me! Part 38!

Because I was more focused on the risky move Tyrannosaurus Sex just did, as the Dove that could save us all was thrown out the window in a desperate attempt to shove some sort of action into the exposition filled moments in the last few hours.

So I rushed to the window, full of anger and anxiety and without bothering to think, which I seem to do a lot, I leapt out the window, after the Dove. Since humans fall faster than small metallic energy-inducing inventions, I reached the Dove before it hit the ground, grabbing it in my left hand as the three storey drop became lower. Since I had stupidly dived headfirst, I braced myself for impact. But it never came.

I suddenly felt a feeling I had only ever felt once, as the Rebellion group stared out the window upstairs. With the dove clutched firmly in my fist...wait, claw? And with that, Tyrannosaurus Sex's idea had worked, as the rest of my body morphed into a hawk, and I once again scraped away from death as I skimmed the road and flew upwards. I don't know how I did it, but I was getting practise and that was the main thing, since Brain seemed to be able to change at will, unlike the only other umption I'd met, Rocko, who thought he was a werewolf since he seemed to accidentally turn into a wolf every now and then and considered himself dangerous enough to guard the Pail that was now in possession of the Society. While I had never seen Rocko change, and he died the second time I met him, he seemed normal, and I was still grateful that he saved my life and brought me into the HORS when I was presumed dead. Of course why I was thinking of Rocko, I had no idea, but I had to fill the paragraph somehow, and Brain's umption ability is general knowledge. As I remembered Brain and the tracking chip Perminator had put on her, I realised the task at hand and felt a great rush as I flew through the air, winking at the Rebellion members as I flew in the direction of the castle a few towns over. Whether I winked or not, I couldn't tell, since as far as I know hawks don't have eyelids, but I'm sure they got the message as I flew off, doing a tricky loop the loop as I flew higher and higher.

While I had never seen the castle before, I almost immediately realised which one it was when it came into sight, given that the giant Pail was in the backyard, which was a dead giveaway. I lowered myself slightly as I wondered whether the castle was guarded with security or lions or something, and immediately spotted the latter circling the Pail, which would take a good ten minutes considering how big the circle really is. I recognised the lion as Brain, because, well, who the hell else would it be? An actual lion from the zoo that the Society blackmailed into lending? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I swooped lower, and Brain didn't seem to notice since birds are plentiful around these parts, and I was nowhere near low enough for her to see the Dove in my claw. Now that I had a bird's eye view of the pail, it seemed even more spectacular as the handle glinted, and I recalled all the known and unknown powers the Holy Pail contained. But given that I:

a) was a bird
b) had no moving equipment
c) could easily be eaten by Brain

I couldn't do much about the Pail at the time, and was here strictly on an information seeking mission. Given that I couldn't come out and interrogate anyone without squawking, I decided to go the spy route and circled the castle, peering into windows to look for any clues about the Society's plans.

At first I could spot no members or papers conveniently left on desks with blueprints and "My Evil Plans" written on them. But finally I came to a window that was open, and figured that I could fly in and search all the rooms, though I'd be screwed if I suddenly turned human again.

Still, I made my way through the window into a large office space, landing on the floor and briefly searching the room. Finding nothing of interest I quietly waddled out the door, which was hard to do with one claw clutching the Dove, but I couldn't risk flying down the hall in case someone heard my fluttering.

I heard voices coming from a slightly ajar door and made my way over as the voices became clearer.
"I just don't understand the point of these staff meetings" I recognised the voice of Yuumm, who made the weapons for the Society as well as being a clas$mate of mine from back in the day called Miles, who always called out "Yuumm yuumm" whenever a phone rang, an interesting quirk of a very talented inventor. Of course her amnesia gun had also been the cause of much confusion and plot creation last season, er, earlier this year. "I mean if we find out information, can't we just tell Stikky?"

"Yes, but this is to refresh everyone and tell them what's going on and what our future plans are" I recognised this voice as Alex, the ex-husband, or is that widow, of Mac, since I was never sure whether the divorce papers went through in the days between Mac finding out Alex was a killer and then dying herself. Alex was also the supervisor, who answered only to Stikky. I realised that I was doing the exposition I hated so much by refreshing my memory on the members I knew, so I immediately stopped doing it and paid attention.

"I dunno, it just sounds like an excuse for someone to eavesdrop on us" Joe's voice reminded me of the cop that was in on the whole thing, namely because he was the cop that was in on the whole thing. "It happens all the time on the force, we arrive just in time to hear the bad guys explaining their plan. A happy coincidence really"

"Yeah, but we're not the bad guys" Lyght, an incompetent electrician and woman I'd once had an affair with before she joined the Society, said, as I realised I was explaining it again. "Besides, most of us haven't even seen Stikky"

"That's because he's in charge and is a busy man" Alex stated. "Which is why we collaborate our information here to compare the useless and the life-changing, so I can pass it on to Stikky. We're trying to change the world here people, we have to have staff meetings. Email is just too impersonal"

"How about we vote?" An unfamiliar voice spoke up. "Personally I have to decipher and organise so much computer software in such a short time that I hardly have the time to come to these meetings"

"Nobody asked your opinion, Whiz" Another voice said. "But the vote isn't a bad idea. All those in favour of ditching the staff meetings?"

"Aye" A lot of voices sounded, as I wondered how many people were involved in the Society.

"Look, I really think we should reconsider-" A high pitched voice surprised me, as I recognised the accent as that of a certain species which recently betrayed us.

"Look, we appreciate you betraying your race to help with the Leprechaun Legacy" Alex said, "but frankly, I'm sick of the meetings too, so let's just leave it at that, okay Shrimp?"

"Fine" Shrimp replied. "I still can't believe this moron decoded the whole thing wrong"

"Excuse me?" Whiz said incredulously. "Do you know how confusing that code was? And I was only one letter off"

"What sort of legacy involves an evil tin duplicate bent on destroying the world?" Shrimp pointed out.

"Guys, shut up, Whiz still has a lot of computering to do to narrow down the twin suspect. The Olsen twins have already been eliminated but that was wrong"

"Yeah, that was a bad move on my part" Whiz said, "but they seemed evil"

"Anyway, you're all dismissed. Get back to work everyone, we have a lot to do this week"

Before I could blink, which I wasn't sure birds could do, the door swung open and I quickly flew into a nearby office. A couple of guys followed me as they looked at me, stilly perched on a desk.

"Since when did Alex get a bird?"

"I dunno" said the other as I realised this must be Alex's office (duh!), and the guy put his finger over to me. I nipped at it hard and the guy shouted, stepping back.

"Ha ha" the other guy laughed. "He sure is an ugly eagle though, isn't he?"

"I'd watch who you call ugly, buddy, you ain't a catch yourself. And I'm a hawk, dumbass" To my shock, I realise I spoke English, and remembered that Brain could also talk in lion form. As the two guys were taken aback, I quickly flew for the window, not realising it was closed.

"Ow" I said as my head hit the glass, and I turned around and flew in the opposite direction, out of the office.

"Get that bird!" I heard a voice yell, as I darted left and right down the hallway, picking a random room, which fortunately had an open window, and flew outside, breathing a relieved sigh, as I flew vertically higher to get out of sight. I started to fly away from the castle grounds when I suddenly felt dizzy.

"Oh no" I said aloud. "Not now" But as I felt myself slipping into the familiar coma that comes before any vision, I knew there was no stopping it, and to my horror, I slipped into unconsciousness in mid-flight, and plummeted towards the ground.

How will Micky get out of this one? What will the vision be about? Can he survive an even higher fall to the ground? And which character will die next? None of these questions will be answered next time as we screw you over and instead bring a His Story 2 into the picture.

As everyone started talking at once, I found it hard to concentrate on coming up with a way of showing all that had happened in:

Let's See How Far We've Come! Recap!
It's The End Of The World As I Barely Knew It! Part 29!
Here I am, Losing my Election! Part 30!
What's Dove Got to Do With It? Part 31!
Say it Aint Joe! I Will Not Go! Part 32!
Alive With The Glory of Dove! Part 33!
I See A Bad Doom Arising! Part 34!
Doctor, Doctor! I'm Not With the News! Part 35!
SEX! Now that I've got your attention here's the next Micky Instalment! Part 36!
You're so vain! You probably think this blog is about you! Part 37!

But managed to do so anyway. Alana stared at me for a few moments and seeing that I was doing nothing, took charge.

"Alright, alright, one at a time!" She insisted.

"Me first" All of them said and started saying their thoughts and ideas at the same time again.

A piercing whistle sounded throughout the room, and I knew only one person that could make that sound. Olive Cox wasn't only known for her obsession of becoming a doctor in high school. She was also top of science clas$ bottom of history clas$ and her most outstanding trait, the way she could silence an entire auditorium with her unique, loud and very odd whistling skill.

The room went silent. "Now" Doc said. "Since this is my room, I think I should speak first. I suggest we all relax with a game of pool and a couple of drinks before jumping into any plans"

"That sounds great" I said. "But time is of the essence"

"Oh, boo freaking hoo" Kemp said. "I want a drink, dammit"

"Nobody's stopping you" Corn Cobbler said. "But you hit on your friends enough when you're sober, are you sure you want to push it"

Doc looked like she was about to whistle again so I stood up and made a stand. Then I realised I had no idea what I was going to say so I sat back down again.

"Okay" Alana said, but I quickly cut her off, realising what the main argument was.

"Look, there are two major options we have to deal with" I addressed the Rebellion. "We either continue to fight the Society, or go after Jimbo"

"Look, we joined this Rebellion to extinguish the threat that the Society poses" Dr Kickass stated. "And we have yet to do that"

"But Jimbo apparently poses a greater threat" Kemp pointed out.

"Yeah, and we didn't sign up for that" Slappy Bag said. "We have to stop the Society taking over the world"

"But if we don't stop Jimbo, there'll be no world for them to take over" Alana argued.

But there was no convincing the Rebellion to change their cause. I can't say I blame them. After being betrayed by their ex-leader and miniature men all in the one afternoon, trust could be hard to place, and the only thing that could help tem move on is to complete the mission they vowed to start.

"Okay, Society it is" I said, with a nagging feeling in the back of my head. "Kemp get your finger out of my neck"

"Sorry" Kemp stopped pushing on the back of my head and the feeling was gone and I could focus.

"Now, have we got any leads?" I asked.

The Rebellion members slowly shook their heads, until Perminator spoke up. "Wait, the light's gone on"

"It always was on" Doc immediately looked to the ceiling.

"No, on the tracking system" Perminator showed us a small grid on the arm of his wheelchair I hadn't noticed before. A green dot was shown a little to the right near the bottom of the screen. "See, the Inventigator gave-"

"I'm sorry, who?" I asked.

"That's me" GT rolled her eyes. "My actual codename"

"Anyway" Perminator continued. "She gave me the tracking chip and during the HORS fight, I managed to put the chip on that bald chick when you knocked her out momentarily"

"Nice work" I said.

"Yeah, but the tracking device didn't kick in until a few seconds ago. Now if I cross-reference the grid with this map and the blueprints of a... bingo! I have the Society's exact location. Or at least wherever the woman is at the moment"

"Any idea how he did that?" I whispered to Kemp.

"Pfft, no, I don't even know what a wheelchair is" His answer was less helpful than I expected and I expected nothing.

"Wait, I know where this is" Doc looked at the grid closely which had now zoomed in to a location. "It's a few cities over, and my guess is that it's that castle building that was remodelled a few months ago"

"How do you know that?" I asked.

"Well, they have to hide the Pail somehow, right? Besides, I had to go there last week when someone had a bullet wound and they wouldn't tell me how they got it"

"Right then" I said. "Now, we can't all go there or anything because we don't know what to expect. GT, any helpful inventions?"

"Nope"

"Okay, any ideas"

"Well, it could help if we had a bird's eye view of things" Slappy Bag said.

"Yeah, that would help but where are we gonna get that?" Suddenly all eyes were on me. "What?"

"Well, you're an umption, right?" Super Sexy Spy Specialist said. "You can change into a hawk and go and look at the castle from above, and see if you can find out what's happening"

"I'm hardly an umption" I said. "I turned into a hawk once, accidentally, and I don't even know how to do it"

"It can't be too hard if Brain can do it" Alana pointed out. "Just try"

"Okay" I rolled my eyes and focused all my energy on becoming a bird. I pictured the hawk in my mind, since that's all I could change into. Nothing happened. "Well, worth a shot I suppose" I slumped back.

"Keep trying" Menace urged.

I thought hard about other ways of changing and figured I'd go with what I knew from movies about morphing into things. "Uh... You're making me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry" I said, but didn't shapeshift. "Uh, form of a hawk!" Still nothing. I sighed. If Mac was here, I'm sure she'd be able to train me. Witches seemed more knowledgeable about the crazy umptions and stuff than boggles are.

"Try 'Transformers, robots in disguise'" Kemp suggested.

"Oh, enough of this" Tyrannosaurus Sex suddenly said, and before I could think, she put her hand in my pocket, grabbed the Dove, walked to the window and, before I could protest, threw our only hope of defeating the Society out the window!

Oh no! What could possibly happen in the next instalment of Rebellion? Is it really as good as last year's Amnesiac, or will it all go downhill from here? But as the white metal object that Micky so desperately needs for the Rebellion's cause is up in the air, quite literally, there is only one logical title for the next part, so stay tuned for next week's episode, Part 39: Dove is in the Air!

Before I get into the annoying monologue that Tiny Dancer was about to get into with us, I figured I may as well get the "last time" links over and done with in the least subtle way so far, so here they are:

Let's See How Far We've Come! Recap!
It's The End Of The World As I Barely Knew It! Part 29!
Here I am, Losing my Election! Part 30!
What's Dove Got to Do With It? Part 31!
Say it Aint Joe! I Will Not Go! Part 32!
Alive With The Glory of Dove! Part 33!
I See A Bad Doom Arising! Part 34!
Doctor, Doctor! I'm Not With the News! Part 35!
SEX! Now that I've got your attention here's the next Micky Instalment! Part 36!

Of course, now was not the time or place to be thinking about all that had happened in 24 hours, but instead listen to the Leprechaun Legacy finally being revealed to the Rebellion. I was of course happy that I wasn't kept in the dark, but frankly Tiny Dancer has the tendency to ramble on, and I still wasn't buying into the whole evil twin thing. I mean witches, shapeshifters and magic pails were one thing, but evil twins is a little farfetched for me. But Tiny Dancer continued to the stunned audience the details of the LL. Aren't abbreviations so much easier?

"Evil twins exist, whether they are aware of the situation or not. Each person in the world has an evil twin out there, not directly related to them at all. But these evil twins are not always considered evil, but rather duplicate copies. However, these copies always have the exact opposite intentions of their originals. Say, if someone liked rum, then the twin would hate rum. If someone wanted their identity secret, their twin may put a public blog up about them in first person. Or to delve deeper, if someone was trying to save the world, their twin would try to end the world. It is part of the opposite personality so they are not always aware that they are only the opposites of another person"

"But if everyone has an evil twin, wouldn't some people have seen these, especially if they're evil quadruplets or something" Kemp interrupted.

"I was literally about to get into that" Tiny Dancer glared. "The one thing about evil twins is even though they think they've led a full life until their moment arrives, an evil twin is only born as soon as the original dies, and are 'born' at the age the person was when they died. Of course being opposites these twins are born nowhere near the original, and many believe they are the real people, unless they are clever enough to figure it out"

"But how is that a legacy for leprechauns? It has nothing to do with them and it doesn't really seem to affect us either" I pointed out.

"Well" Tiny Dancer said. "The legacy says that at a certain event in time two opposite twins will be alive at the same time"

"Are they Asian twins?" Slappy Bag asked. "That would explain why they all look alike"

"No it wouldn't, you idiotic racist" Corn Cobbler argued.

"Shut up" I said.

"Thanks Micky" Tiny Dancer continued. "Anyway, the evil twin will literally be a polar opposite of a hero and may in fact cause the world to crumble, given that he's the opposite of someone who is trying to stop this. Which is why I gave such a specific example before. Anyway, the Legacy states that the leprechauns will have a key part in stopping the evil twin"

"But what does that have to do with us?" Alana asked.

"Well, this is a theory we've had for a couple of months, but since Micky is almost a saviour, we think his twin may have emerged"

"But how?" I asked. "I thought I'd have to die for that to happen"

"For all intents and purposes, you were dead for four months while your life flashed before your eyes. We think when the impact of Mac's death threw you into the lifeless coma, your twin may have emerged so the legacy is unfolding. Of course we may be completely wrong, but the legacy says nothing of the leprechaun race being destroyed, so I figure that the twin thing must happen before we all go extinct from Leprosy"

"So all of this is a guess?" I said, stumped.

"I suppose" Tiny Dancer shrugged. "But the legacy was written by our leader many years ago, and he got this from a very reliable tabloid magazine"

I sighed. "Alright, so you're saying I have an evil twin? If that's true, shouldn't he have done something by now? I mean, if I was lying around in a coma for months, then he'd be doing the opposite and-"

"Planning an intricate mission to finish us off for good"

"Wait, you think he knows that he's a twin?" I was still playing dumb, though only 10% was really acting since I was still 90% in the dark. All those months ago when I was first thrown into a coma and before my life flashed before my eyes, I had a short flash of a new me opening my eyes and staring at me. I figured it had something to do with my visions, but I had a weird instinct and the name Jimbo popped into my head and I had the distinct feeling that was his name.

"Yes, he seems very clever and dangerous"

"But if we try and bring him down..." I was confused. "He'd have the opposite intention and give up, right? Because I have the will to fight and he then can't"

"Unfortunately Jimbo seems to have more free will than other twins. It may have something to do with the fact that you're alive and the fact that dead people can't suddenly change who they are and their final intentions in life, while living people can. Or maybe Jimbo has been powerful enough to cut the ties between the two of you and just be a direct polar opposite with a good/evil counterpart to avoid continuity errors"

"Wait, how do you know my evil twin is called Jimbo?" I asked.

"And how do you know he's clever and powerful?" Alana added.

"And why are you suddenly wearing a mini hooded robe?" Kemp added.

The leprechauns, despite being small, looked quite menacing as Tinies Dancer, Prancer and Stancer stared at us with little ray guns pointed at me.

"As I said, opposite twins aren't necessarily the ones in the wrong" Dancer had clearly lost it. "And since you find leprechauns useless, Micky, Jimbo has the opposite track of mind and finds us very useful indeed"

"What are you talking about?" I said calmly, since the weapons were hardly big enough to do me much harm.

"We are completely against the Society" Dancer said. "They unleashed the disease of Leprosy on us for some twisted reason, and we thought you may be our only hope when we found out about your rebellion against the Society. But when we were approached by Jimbo while you were lying helpless and doing nothing, we switched to the winning team, since he's playing you all"

"Look, I don't find you useless, I find you annoying" I corrected. "Although now I don't trust you at all" I had my hand in my pocket and I was casually getting ready to get the Dove out and kick some miniature ass.

"Same diff. Jimbo has theories, but can't take any risks, which is why he sent us back to help fight your cause. Fortunately, neither the Society nor your cause will matter anymore soon"

"You realise if Jimbo is set on destroying the world, then you'll die aswell"

"We're dead anyway. The Leprosy is spreading fast. And your only chance of beating the Society went away when you lost the Pail with all its powers that none of you stupid humans can begin to interpret, its invincibility, resurrection, body control, and of course its use as both weapon and cure"

"Why are you telling us all this?" I asked, as I pretended to scratch my neck, while I was really pushing the Dove into my skin, as it was hiding in my palm.

"Because Jimbo is, and knows, you, and if you manage to escape, your bound to try to hunt him down and finish your task. Of course you're dead either way"

For a moment I considered fleeing, but the familiar burst of energy came through my veins and I was ready for the three second fight to finish off a few of my companions. Doc's place was a great one and I didn't want to lose it as a base, so I had to get rid of them before they pulled any leprechaunian tricks and went back to tell our secrets. To my surprise I was not the only one prepared. GT also had a device she had obviously created. She pointed and pushed a button. Suddenly a ball of electricity surrounded the three leprechauns. They tried moving forward but were trapped, and they shrieked as they were continuously zapped.

"It's my electrisphere" GT explained. "The latest interrogation invention"

"Well, I've heard all I need to hear" I knew I'd regret my decision, but a leader of a Rebellion has to make tough choices. "Perminator, finish them off" I said, and with that, Perminator rolled his wheelchair over the three trapped midgets. Their high pitched shrieks made me wince as I shook my head, and removed the Dove from my neck.

A lot of the Rebellion members stood in shock until one piped up with a change of subject.

"So what the hell do we do now?" It was a fair question, I was just a little surprised that I was the one that asked it.

As we stampeded after Doc, I couldn't help but wonder how we got here, a baker's dozen of people sprinting down the block, and I also realised how often I seem to reflect on these past moments, such as:

Let's See How Far We've Come! Recap!
It's The End Of The World As I Barely Knew It! Part 29!
Here I am, Losing my Election! Part 30!
What's Dove Got to Do With It? Part 31!
Say it Aint Joe! I Will Not Go! Part 32!
Alive With The Glory of Dove! Part 33!
I See A Bad Doom Arising! Part 34!
Doctor, Doctor! I'm Not With the News! Part 35!

Which many people may consider strange.

Finally, Doc turned into an alley and into a side door. We followed close behind as we slowed down and started climbing some stairs into a loft of some sort.

"Well... nice place you've got here" Kemp was the first to make this overstatement.

Boxes collecting dust were all over the room, along with an old couch, a fingerpainting photo, a small barfridge, not plugged in, with much rust, and the roof leaking.

But my old schoolmate was still walking through the room and into another door. Assuming she wasn't going to the toilet or something, I followed her, Kemp of course, right behind me, followed by Alana, Dr Kickass, Corn Cobbler, Super Sexy Spy Specialist, her sister, Slappy Bag, Tyrannosaurus Sex, Mr Potato Head, Desert Dessert, Menace, Dyslexic Peet, GT and Nanananana Pacman. The leprechauns were still pulling themselves up each step of the staircase, and Perminator was stuck downstairs, given that the staircase wasn't wheelchair accessible, and none of us could be bothered helping him up.

Anyway, opening the door, we found another staircase, this one spiral, and went up to the next floor. Our mouths dropped.

"Nice place you've got here" Kemp was the first to make this understatement. The dripping below was revealed to be from the Jacuzzi left on and overflowing. My attention was on the sparkling bar at the corner of the room, along with a flat screen TV, a pool table, an open safe stacked with hundreds, and plenty of chairs, along with a food platter on a long table.

"How can you afford this place?" I asked.

Doc shrugged. "I can't. But nobody was living here when I first came exploring, so I figured finder's keepers"

"What about all this cool stuff?" Alana admired a bottle of bourbon seated on the table.

"Well, I also found the safe, so I figured finder's keepers"

Kemp had walked over to the safe and was now fanning the notes across his face, though there was no need, considering the aircon was on.

"Okay, so who wants to tell the story first?" Olive enquired.

"Look, Doc, it's been a long day..."

"I'll say" Tiny Dancer entered the room. "Do you know how long it took to climb those stairs. Tiny Cancer finally keeled over and died on the second last step!"

"Excuse me" I said. "I'm talking here"

"Look, just tell me the short version and I'll let you play with anything you want in the room"

"Really?" Kemp made his decision and put his arm around Super Sexy Spy Specialist, who scoffed, and moved over to me. While we were playing musical partners, I explained to Doc everything that had happened from awakening without memory, to the attempts on my life, to the death of my friends, to the way too much detail sex story with Alana who told me to stop telling that story, to the leprechauns, witches, Society, umptions, fights, Holy Pail, visions, and the death of my other friend, Mac, who I also put much detail in describing our brief sexual encounter, which seemed to turn SSSS on more. Then I got bored of talking, so I let Alana fill in the blanks about what happened in the four months I was unconscious for, including the recruitment, the rise in power of our enemy and the rumours of a rising evil by the name of Jimbo.

"So you really saved all those people?" Doc was impressed.

"Yep" I said simply. "But one of us is bound to get hurt eventually. Especially Kemp, he's a bit clumsy"

"Okay, I'm your doc" Doc agreed. "So what do we do now?"

"Well, I feel like sleeping" I said, "If anyone wants to join me, they're more than welcome"

"Uh, about that, I don't have any beds"

"What? Then how do you sleep?"

Doc shrugged. "The couch always seemed comfy enough"

"Fine, we'll sleep later. Does anyone have any urgent news?" I asked. Nobody came forward. "Okay, nothing about a Leprechaun Legacy?"

"Oh, that's us" Tiny Stancer realised. "But it's a secret"

"So was the Society, but it's not anymore. Come on, make with the exposition"

"I'm sorry, but that's something you'll have to figure out yourself" Tiny Prancer said. "It's coded in a secret leprechaun language"

"You mean Irish?"

"No" Tiny Dancer said. "More like Pirish"

The leprechauns giggled but we were clearly lost with this joke.

"Get it? Pi-rish?"

I shook my head.

Tiny Stan-cer sighed. "Humans! Our code is made up of mathematical symbols and pictographs, as well as coded letters and a greek alphabet"

"That sounds complicated" I said. "Why didn't you just write the code in English?"

Tiny Stancer sighed again. "Look, obviously... wait, why didn't we write it in English? It would have been much easier"

"Well, now we know for next time" Tiny Dancer replied. "Besides, it's just as well, the legacy's been stolen from Nowhere"

"Yeah, that was the Society's work" I said matter-of-factly. "And I'm sure they've got their best men working on it, decoding the Legacy as we speak" I recalled Stikky asking about some Whizzy dude decoding it during my vision. "So I suggest you tell us what this legacy is about or else"

"Look, you have the gift of foresight, why don't you look into the future and see what the Legacy is for yourself?" Tiny Prancer said.

"You know I can't control my visions!" I was impatient, and kicked Tiny Prancer out the window. "Or my anger"

"Now who's going to tell me about this Leprechaun Legacy?"

A rainbow shot out from outside and flung right into the room as Prancer made his way back inside, followed by Perminator who was rolling his way up the rainbow. "That was so uncool" Tiny Prancer said. "But if you must know, our legacy involves evil twins"

"Uh, what?" I said as the room fell silent, except for the soft murmuring of Kemp who had gone around the whole room and was now back to hitting on Desert Dessert. When he realised nobody was chattering anymore, he quickly stopped and paid attention.

"Go on" I said, and with that, Tiny Dancer explained the Leprechaun Legacy in great detail, as if reading from the scroll it was written on all those years ago. I was just glad that we were about to find out about the Leprechaun Legacy before the Society, so for once we were one step ahead of them, having failed our previous Pail mission.

***

"Sir" Whizkid opened the office door.

"Stop!" Stikky ordered, as he got out from behind the desk he was doing work on. He went to the other side of the room, picked up his cloak and put the hood over his face so he was once again mysterious. "Okay, enter"

Whiz rolled his eyes at this weird quirk of their leader, but entered regardless. "Sir, I have some exciting news"

"Finally lost your virginity, huh?" Stikky cackled to himself, but inside was rather annoyed. It worked much better last year when all the pointless people answered to Alex, who passed on news to him, but now everyone was getting way too comfortable around Stikky, who was a powerful man.

"No, of course not" Whiz rolled his eyes again.

"Well, this better be good news, I'm not impressed with today's events so far" Stikky had been unpleased when Alex and Brain had explained that the surprise attack had ended in the HORS being destroyed further, and the Society fleeing, but was intrigued about the mention of a Dove of some sort. His tipper had paid off however, and despite anonymity, it was good to have another man on the team. Wait, has he been talking this entire time? "Uh, could you repeat that?" Stikky said, and then remembering his position of power, quickly said "I mean, repeat that this instant!"

"I said I've decoded the Leprechaun Legacy" Whiz said, despite the fact that he hadn't said anything since denying his virginity loss.

"Excellent" Stikky said. "So what does it foretell?"

"That's the weird thing" Whiz said. "It's something about an evil tin..."

Which side has it right? Well, obviously the one with leprechaun recruits. But what does the Leprechaun Legacy state? That's a question that can only be answered in the most idiotic way possible, I mean, in the most interesting development yet, in Part 37!

After the initial shock from the revelation of the traitor in our midst, there were still several troubling issues at hand, all of which stemmed from the events of:

Let's See How Far We've Come! Recap!
It's The End Of The World As I Barely Knew It! Part 29!
Here I am, Losing my Election! Part 30!
What's Dove Got to Do With It? Part 31!
Say it Aint Joe! I Will Not Go! Part 32!
Alive With The Glory of Dove! Part 33!
I See A Bad Doom Arising! Part 34!

So I took it upon myself to make the difficult choice.

"Uh, I'll have the chicken burger and a coke" I told the uniformed guy.

"We don't serve food here" the man said. "And I'm a security guard"

"Well, surely you can make an exception and get me a burger from across the road, right?" I said, as the rest of the Rebellion members entered the back entrance of the building while I distracted the guard. At one stage, GT had suggested using one of her WMDs that she had made in the lab, but I didn't need a Weapon of Mild Distraction to fool a guard.

Perhaps I should go back an hour or so. At first I considered questioning the leprechauns about whatever Stikky meant by the Leprechaun Legacy. Then I considered questioning Kemp and Alana as to what Alex had told them about the Pail or whatever he was talking about while he held them hostage. Then he considered questioning Perminator about how he managed his hair. But finally Menace had pointed out that we would have lost the battle had it not ended in a tie when the HORS burned down. So he suggested that we find new members to fight against the evil Society.

"But where are we going to find them?" Kemp had asked.

"How about the job fair?" Corn Cobbler stated. "There's one on today. There's no spare booths, but if we sneak in we can steal one"

"But wouldn't the Society figure that out and come aswell?" Tiny Cancer coughed.

"They probably wouldn't think we'd be stupid enough to round up members at a job fair" I realised.

"Then they clearly underestimate us" Alana said. "But to be on the safe side, the leprechauns should stay here so as not to draw attention"

"No, the Society know about the HORS and will probably be back to search the desert for us soon" I said. "They'll find the lab eventually. I mean it's not that well hidden"

"Hey!" GT said.

"Look, we don't have time" Super Sexy Spy Specialist's Sister said. "Let's just get out of here, it's really cramped"

"Not until Micky takes off that Dove" Slappy Bag said. "We don't want him accidentally bumping into someone and having them fly down the road"

"Fair enough" I pulled the Dove out of my neck and felt my energy go down to a normal level as I pocketed the gadget. "Tiny Dancer, care to do the honours?"

And with the flick of a leprechaun's fingers, a rainbow was made ending within a block radius of a job fair.

"Uh, I meant do you want to ride shotgun" I said, "A dozen people walking on a rainbow above the city may draw attention"

And so no body had listened to me, since they had never had the thrill of rainbow walking and fortunately nobody seemed to notice. And now that everyone was in the job fair and Dr Kickass had muscled a paperboy out of his booth, I stood in the newspaper booth of a busy job fair and looked across the sea of faces at anyone who may consider rebelling against the rising power of the Society.

The first person to arrive at the booth startled me as I recognised the woman as someone from my old high school.

"Doc?" I said with wonder.

"The one and only" she grinned, holding out her arms.

After an uncomfortably long hug, I let go and stared at her.

Olive "Doctor" Cox, was a girl that I'd once gone out with for several hours, before I realised she was way too complex for me to understand so we became friends. Olive got the nickname "Doc" from the people she hung out with most, i.e. me, Alana and Steve-o, because Olive was always saying that she would become a doctor. She would not shut up about it. So it was no surprise to see her in scrubs as she looked curiously at the booth I was working in.

"So you became a doctor after all, huh?" I said.

"How'd you guess?" She raised an eyebrow. "So what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing" I said.

"Well, I'm trying to get med students to join the public hospital" Doc gave a logical answer. "As for you, I don't think you work for a newspaper. In fact last I heard, you were some weird sort of superhero. You are the Mysterious Micky, right?"

It seemed like an eternity since that rumour had spread but it was probably only six months since my picture had been thrown around the news revealing that I was the one saving people, which probably contributed to the Society figuring it out.

"I may be" I said.

"So who are all those people hiding under the desk there?"

"Uh..." I didn't have an answer. "Well, you know Alana"

On cue, Alana stood up, and walked over. "Hey Doc, long time, no see"

"Hey. I see you're still following your brother everywhere"

"Well, she doesn't have anything better to do" I said. "So how much have you figured out?" I got to the point.

"Well, there was a rise in crime, right about the time you started trying to save people's lives, and now this Society thing is starting to control the world, which can't be a coincidence, so you've gathered a few people to help fight the Society"

"Damn, she's good" Kemp said as they all stood up, the only ones not visible being the leprechauns who probably weren't sitting down in the first place.

"Doc, this is my best friend Kemp" I said. "And he's not very good at bluffing"

"Pleasure" Kemp said sheeply.

"You know" I continued, "These battles are only going to get tougher and we'll need a doctor to help heal and bandage people. You interested?"

"You want me to leave a high paying respectable job to hang around with your group of friends for no money and put bandaids on anyone who gets a scratch on them? Sure" Strangely, she was not being sarcastic, but that was Olive all over.

"I gotta warn you, there are some really strange things that you'll get involved with, some inexplicable, others dangerous..."

"Look, you can stop the salesman routine, I already agreed"

And just like that we got a doctor on our side. Olive "Doctor" Cox was officially a member of our Rebellion tribe, but it was at that moment that the security guard came in holding my chicken burger and came charging towards me as he realised he'd been fooled.

"Well, we're out of here" I said, and tried to think of any base that we would be safe at and to run to. But chances are, the Society had detailed descriptions of the people they fought this afternoon so they would be searching their houses.

"Follow me" Doc said and just like that, we all instantly trusted my old friend and ran after her, wondering where our next safe haven would be, the guard eventually giving up the chase and eating the sandwich himself.

"Okay" I cleared my throat. "That's better, my throat's clear, so now I can go back to clearing my head". I stood in front of my fellow rebellion members as I contemplated what shocking development to follow first. After all, in one short day, and six long parts, a lot had happened, as evidenced in:

Let's See How Far We've Come! Recap!
It's The End Of The World As I Barely Knew It! Part 29!
Here I am, Losing my Election! Part 30!
What's Dove Got to Do With It? Part 31!
Say it Aint Joe! I Will Not Go! Part 32!
Alive With The Glory of Dove! Part 33!

But I finally decided what to discuss.

"Who here thinks that battle was, like, totally unfair! They didn't give us a warning, and it was like, uh, hello, that's pretty mean"

There was a long silence, and plenty of glances between rebellion members. Finally I decided to speak up. "Well, thanks for that input, Super Sexy Spy Specialist, but if you don't mind I was going to say something"

"Oh, sorry"

"We forgive you" Kemp spoke for all the men, since SSSS's bikini had torn during the fight and all the spare clothes would have burned up in the second burning of the HORS.

"Okay" I began. "As some of you know, I have the gift of seeing the future. Now in my latest vision, it was revealed that someone here is a mole. So before we discuss anything further, we have to find out who this source is and lecture them"

"Uh, shouldn't we kick them out of the group?" Perminator pointed out.

"Er, I suppose so, yeah" I said, and continued. "Now, I need to interrogate each of you. Super Sexy Spy Specialist and Super Sexy Spy Specialist's Sister, I'll interrogate you two in private later. As for Super Sexy Spy Specialist's Sister's Snake, I'm assuming he can't talk?"

"Of course not" Super Sexy Spy Specialist's Sister said.

"You're right, that would be ridiculous" I turned to the leprechauns. "You guys are in direct danger from the Society and the Leprosy disease was almost certainly spread by the Society. But I do need to talk to you guys later about some sort of Leprechaun Legacy"

"T' be sure, t' be sure" Tiny Dancer disgraced his race with that Irish stereotype.

"GT-"

"Inventigator" GT corrected.

"Whatever. You invented the weapon that helped us out so I doubt you'd double cross. Poolmeister, you led the Rebellion for several months and made some headway into bringing down the Society, so I doubt you've been contacting them. Perminator, I don't think it's you and I just don't feel comfortable accusing a cripple of being evil"

"You called Steven Hawking evil" Alana pointed out.

"That's a story for another day" I said in a warning tone. "Now, Slappy Bag, how long have you been with the Rebellion?"

"Couple of weeks" He replied.

"And how long have you been with the Society?"

"I'm not in the society"

"Okay, you check out. It seems like all the Society members are slow and would have accidentally answered that question. Dr Kickass, what's that tattoo?"

"Oh, it's a poodle my mother branded on me when I was two. It stands for loyalty and honour"

"Well, I'm not gonna argue with that. Now, Corn Cobbler, why that nickname?"

"Well, I'm a farmer and I grow corn. I don't have the time to be in an evil corporation because I'm too busy with my crops. So I joined you guys because it seemed less time consuming. I was wrong"

"Well, you seem like a usual loveable hick, you pass the test. Nanananana Pacman, are those bitemarks on your neck?"

"Yeah, I was choking a guy up there earlier but when he started to turn blue, he overpowered me and bit me"

"Well, I doubt anyone would go cannibal on their own coworker when there's plenty of tasty people to go around. Desert Dessert, you seem pretty flexible-"

"Oh, I'm very flexible" She winked.

"Okay, you passed too. Though I will have to interrogate you further in private aswell"

"Menace, that sounds like a traitorous name-" I started, but the muscular guy interrupted me.

"Well, if you took time out from hitting on my girlfriend" He put his arm around Desert Dessert, "Then you'd know MENACE stands for Mighty, Entelligent, Nice And Caring Endividual. I'd never betray this cause"

"Wow, you guys love your anagrams" I said eventually, moving on. "Mr Potato Head" I couldn't help snickering as I spoke the name and figured by doing that I'd caused the poorly shaped head enough embarrassment so I moved on. "Dyslexic Peet, are you really dyslexic?"

"Nah, some of these guy started up the rumour. They think I'm an M-R-O-N-O" For some reason he spelled the last word out.

"Uh...okay, that brings us to Tyrannosaurus Sex. By process of elimination you are hereby kicked out of-" I was interrupted by a sigh from Kemp. "What?" I said.

"What? Oh, sorry, I was just thinking about something else" Kemp was looking at his watch.

"What could be more important than this?" I asked. "And why are you looking at your watch, that thing's been broken for months"

"Well, I entered this competition, right? They rang up and said that I had already won, so I gave them the address a few days ago and they still haven't shown up with my mystery prize"

The rebellion booed and threw things at Kemp.

"Calm down" I yelled. "Kemp's a simpleton, he didn't mean to give away our position"

"Our what?" Kemp said. "Oh, you don't think that... aw, man, I really wanted that mystery prize"

Just then there was a thud above us. I slowly opened the hatch and to my surprise, there was neither a good guy nor a bad guy above us. Just a mailman.

"Hi, I have a delivery for Kemp Frogger, winner of the Random Caller Competition"

"Awesome" Kemp climbed out of the lab and snatched the mystery prize out of the mailman's hands. "Hey, a new watch! Awesome!" Kemp put it on and showed everyone. "Did you have any trouble finding the place?"

"Well, you said the address was somewhere in the desert, and the house was called House of the Rising Sun, but I couldn't find a house anywhere here, and just stumbled upon this hatch so I took a shot"

"Yeah, sorry, the house just burnt down. Plus it has a habit of disappearing at times. Thanks for the prize" Kemp waved.

When he realised he wasn't getting a tip, the mailman scoffed and left.

"Wait, so Kemp's not the mole?" Alana said, picking her shoe out of Kemp's back and putting it back on. "Then who is?"

"I dunno, I guess we're back to square one. What do you think Pool?" I asked but got no answer. "Pool?" I tried to tap Poolmeister on the shoulder, but my hand went straight through him. "Uh, was Pool always this transparent?" I studied the illusion, as things seemed to fall into place.

Things fell silent among the Rebellion, as things tend to do when you're betrayed. They needed a leader and damn sure I wasn't the one to be it.

"Okay, next order of business..." Kemp said, admiring his new watch, "Those were some kickass moves up there Mickster. Guess that Dove really works, huh?"

***

Jason Poole lay on a beach in Mexico, sipping a margarita, when a figure took the seat next to him.

"So it all went as planned?" The man asked.

"Of course, you were the one that tipped the Society off after all" Poolmeister pointed out. "So you have their trust?"

"Well, they still don't know who I am, but I can persuade people to think anything. Anyway, the Rebellion aren't stupid, I'm sure they figured out you betrayed them by now. Are you okay with that?"

"Of course. It's always been my duty to serve you" Pool bowed to Jimbo.

"Well" Jimbo took off the hood that so many villains seemed to use to remain inconspicuous, and leaned forward smiling the same smile Micky always has. "I am my brother's evil twin after all"

Shocking twists! Crazy characters! Less boring dialogue and more action! None of these and less will appear in the next edition of the Rebellion season!

As I pulled myself out of GT's lab, I had a few split seconds to reflect on all that had happened in:

Let's See How Far We've Come! Recap!
It's The End Of The World As I Barely Knew It! Part 29!
Here I am, Losing my Election! Part 30!
What's Dove Got to Do With It? Part 31!
Say it Aint Joe! I Will Not Go! Part 32!

And why I was still too busy to come up with a more creative way of doing a "last time" montage. Anyway, I clutched the Dove in my hand as I surveyed my surroundings. To say the least I was disappointed.

Nothing was there. Just sand, not the huge fight between Society and Rebellion that Kemp's note had promised. Then I heard a faint sound in the distance. But all around me, there was nothing. Then I realised it was the desert, of course nothing would be here. Then I remembered that the HORS was still there somewhere and it dawned on me that the big fight must have been moved to inside the House. So I kicked around in the sand until I felt the switch. I kicked it, and the switch moved forward, which generally happens when you flick switches.

As I was considering this repetitive sentence, the HORS swirled out of the sand, becoming visible once more, though still in the dishevelled look it was before. Oh, and the furniture was toppled and a war was breaking out inside it.

As far as I could tell, it seemed impossible that the dozen rebellion members and several Society members with weapons could fit in the HORS living room. Though on the other hand that really shouldn't be what I was focusing on.

I shrugged, and ran into the doorway immediately being tackled by the bald Brain. I'd forgotten that the reason Brain was hired by the Society in the first place, despite having half a brain and the looks of a man, was that she was a martial arts specialist. Though I didn't think tackling was a lesson learned in karate.

Anyway, it took me off guard momentarily as I fought against her, and not wanting to be beaten by a girl, pushed her off of me, stood up, and stabbed the small pin in the back of the Dove through the front of my neck. I felt a sharp pain, but instead of blood pouring out of me, a burst of energy burst into me. I immediately turned to Brain and threw her across the room.

"Awesome" I said to myself. Then I realised that the whole room had stopped fighting. At first, I assumed the worst had happened and someone had died. Then Poolmeister spoke up.

"Dude, are you wearing jewellery?"

"What, this thing?" I didn't want to give away our secret weapon to the Society but it was embarrassing having a little white dove pinned to me like a necklace. "It's my good luck charm"

"No it isn't" GT said. "That's my greatest invention-"

"Shut it" I said, and fortunately she did.

I tried to spot Kemp or Alana or someone I actually gave a crap about but couldn't seem to find them anywhere. And before I could take a step forward, Brain launched herself at me, and the fighting around me continued. Brain transformed into a lion midleap and I cried out in pain as the claws dug into me. I swung a punch and watched in awe as my fist pushed into the lion's face, and Brain's face was pushed back through her mane. At first I thought I'd killed her, but Brain turned back into human form, with blood over her face and fell to the ground weakly.

"You bastard" Brain muttered as she passed out.

"That had to hurt" I said, and wondered why I wasn't bleeding to death, only to see that the wounds on my body from the claws had disappeared. "I'm invincible!" I cried out. What was even better was my favourite shirt wasn't destroyed by the claws, because I was shirtless, Kemp having taken my shirt from me earlier.

"A little help?" Perminator said, as I saw that a couple of Society members were rolling him around on his wheelchair, as another was throwing knives into his legs. I charged at the men and cracked their heads together before kicking the knife thrower into the wall. I then ran over to Dyslexic Peet and Slappy Bag, who were busy teaming up against a couple of Society members I recognised from my visions. It was a fairly even match, with all four being bruised up pretty badly, but I tipped the scales as I grabbed the pipe one was swinging and slammed it back into both of them.

Dr Kickass was living up to his nickname as he headbutted a Society guy and then slammed him into the wall. Then I noticed the leprechauns trying to fend off a military like guy who was swinging a baton at them. I ran over to help them but quickly froze when gunshots were fired.

The sound was deafening and before I could find out where it came from, who fired it and if anyone was hit, several things happened.

First, a bullet had clearly hit something electronic because the already burned down house caught fire once again. Hell broke loose as the 20 or so conscious people started panicking and running, though with the cramped size of the rooms without walls, it was more like they were still running into each other and fighting.

Second, some genius must have accidentally unlocked the cage because Super Sexy Spy Specialist's Sister's Snake was suddenly slithering around the floor, and in the panic was getting aggressive and lashing out at people's legs.

Thirdly a familiar girlish scream could be heard from downstairs.

"Kemp!" I realised and sprinted down to the basement as the fire spread above. What I saw in the room was weird to say the least.

Kemp and Alana were tied up in the middle of the room, and Alex, the Society member I'd battled with a few times before was talking in a monologue of sorts while hitting the two with a plank of wood.

Mac's ex-husband turned to see me and grinned.

"I knew you were lying. Micky is alive, and he's been nice enough to join us"
"Okay, Alex" I said calmly. "You don't like me and I don't like you. And we both didn't like Mac's cooking but that's neither here nor there. My point is there's a fire up there and someone's shooting, so how about we all escape and live to fight each other another day?"

"Oh, I would, but I haven't finished my speech to your pals yet"

"You're really doing the cliché villain revealing his plans without me? I'm offended"

"Look, I'd love to continue our witty back and forth some other time, but now that you're here, I have to start again"

"Oh, screw this" I said and lunged at Alex, but before I hit him, he threw out his hand and I felt another weird energy go through my head.

"You're going to sit down and listen to me" Alex instructed.

"The hell I am!" I sat down.

"Now, you're going to tell me what I want to know about the Pail before I kill you and your friends"

"Okay, the pail is something that Jack and Jill went up the hill for. Unfortunately, it didn't end well, with a murder-suicide, made to look like an accident"

"Oh, you're a quick learner" Alex said. "It took Kemp ten questions before he realised that unspecified questions can be altered without answering the question directly"

"Uh, what? That was a poorly worded sentence"

"Shut up! What do you know about the Holy Pail that we discovered a few months ago?"

I had no idea what was going on, and how Alex was controlling me, but fortunately I was clueless, and couldn't tell anything about something I knew nothing about.

"I know it's no match for the Dove" Oops.

"The what?" Alex seemed confused by this answer and I used this distraction to stand up and slam him against the wall. Unfortunately, I literally didn't know my own strength and the floor above us started to fall in, caused from a combination of me and the fire.

Alana and Kemp were somehow free of the rope, and I dropped Alex, as the three of us ran up the steps.

"Alex hypnotised me into tying Alana and me up. Luckily I'm not good with knots" Kemp said randomly as we tried to make our way through the fire, which had now spread out across the whole HORS, to the point where it was no longer a house. Fortunately sand isn't flammable so I grabbed Kemp and Alana and sprinted through the fire and onto the nice hot sand outside the HORS. We could spot the rest of the Society sprinting away throughout the desert, and as me, Kemp and Alana watched the House of the Rising Sun go from burnt down to completely destroyed, we also saw the figure of Alex coming through the fire as the house spun out of view so we quickly jumped down into GT's lab, shutting the hatch behind us and were greeted with several half-hearted cheers from our fellow rebellion members, lying on the hard floor and sitting around.

There was a lot of questions they wanted answers for and plenty more questions that I wanted answered. And so, for plenty of interrogation, and discussion between rebellion members, stay tuned for Part 34: I See a Bad Doom Arising!