Need a Laugh?

Just wanted to post a few things from fmylife.com that I loved. Hope you enjoy :).

Today, I was walking home from work when a hobo checked me out, asking which alley I live in. FML

Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML

Today, I unpacked in my new, non-air conditioned apartment wearing nothing but underwear, a tank top and an apron to stay cool. Later, I realized I'd crossed through the complex to my car and the dumpster many times, and arranged my deck overlooking the parking lot, without ever donning shorts. FML

Today, I washed my car for the first time in months. In the space between my car and tire, there was fuzzy stuff that looked like a bunch of old wasps nests. After scraping them off with my bare hands, I found out it wasn't wasps nests, but old particles of a dead animal. FML

Today, I was walking next to this building that was getting renovated, and read a sign that said "Watch out for falling debris at all times." While I was watching out for debris, I fell down a staircase. FML

Today, I found out that the chocolate sprinkles I have been using with my ice cream were not only chocolate sprinkles, but also little pieces of mice turd. Courtesy of my room-mate. FML

Today, in math **** I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

Today, I found out what cat food tastes like mixed with mayo, hot sauce, and between two perfectly toasted pieces of rye bread. My cat found out what tuna tastes like instead of her normal food. FML

Today, my math teacher told me to learn how to say "welcome to wal-mart". FML

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

Today, I found out that the leak that has been dripping constantly on my head at work for the past 4 days is human waste from the three flats above. FML

Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML

Today, I had to get 4 stitches from a bad cut on my elbow. What was the cut from? A straw. FML

Today, my wife changed her facebook status from "married" to "widowed". I'm scared. FML

Song of the Day

Todays song is from a band that I love that mixes rock with chiptunes. The band name is I Fight Dragons and the song is called Money.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FKoplr-c1k&playnext_from=TL&videos=WM-fjWPrsBM

I Hate Stupid People

Well let's just start off with an update. I got a job at Dow Chemical in November last year. It's a great job and I love working there, but good god some people just don't weren't born with any common sense what so ever!

So any ways here's what happened. Last Saturday I show up to work and the place is a ghost town. It was weird, there was literally no one out in the process area (it's usually the busiest place in our plant). Eventually I found some one who informed me that one of the employees on the last shift had managed to cut off his ring finger while doing a strainer change. Apparently he had placed his finger between the hook that goes into the strainer basket and the hoist and then pulled the lever to raise the hoist up exerting one ton of force on his finger snapping it off inside his glove (ouch!). He was rushed off to the hospital right away, but there was too much damage to his finger and the doctor was unable to reconnect it and had to amputate it down to the second knuckle. The employee was sent home the same day from surgery and is recovering as well as could be expected given the situation.

This was the second OSHA (serious injury) we've had at our plant in one week. The first was a different employee who was having trouble opening up his knife and accidental cut his thumb (he had something like ten stitches to close it up). Because of these two incidents and how close they were to each other our whole plant stopped production for the rest of the week so that safety issues could be addressed. In addition when we go back to work this weekend, every single employee will be treated as a new hire and will have to be retrained and watched as we do every step of our process... My life is going to hell for the next few months. I mean really, I feel bad for the two guys but they were doing stupid things and were not thinking at the time and now every one has to pay for it. It sucks.

Song of the Day

This is an original composition I found on youtube using Mario Paint. The name of the song is Battle with Humongous Fungus Shroomsday. Hope you enjoy :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikKKamwzxXM&playnext_from=TL&videos=Dxsf-QjstDA

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Regrets and Inner Musings

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These past few days have been rather hard for my relitives and I. We recently had a death in the family, and for most of us it came as a shock with little to no warning. My cousin (age 25) took his own life early Tuesday morning (11-10-09 around 1am) by taking a months worth of pills at once.To make matters worse he did try and call out for help from other people by placing phone calls and e-mails to a few friends letting them know what he had done. He had even told his family that it would be good if they checked up on him since he wasn't feeling safe with him self at the time. Unfortunately no one was home to receive the phone calls and when his parents checked up on him, it simply looked like he was sleeping and was in no real danger.The next morning when they went to wake him up, it was obvious what he had done and it was too late to do any thing to save him.

I know that it wasn't my fault or any thing like that, and that no one is to be blamed for what happened. But when some thing like this occurs it's hard not to ask questions like,"What could I have done to prevent this, or if I had known he had this problem would I of been able to help?" What's bugging me even more is that a week before he died I had found him on facebook and added him as one of my friends. After that I saw some messages he wrote about having trouble sleeping and feeling down. I meant to say some thing encouraging to him, or at least ask him what was bothering him so much but I just didn't make the time to ask. It probably wouldn't have made a difference, but one can't help but feel guilty for not putting forth the effort.

I guess the one thing that I can take away from all of this is that friends and family are too important to ignore. If you think some thing is worng, at least talk to the person, who cares if it makes for an awkward conversation at least you'r showing you care. I know that this is some thing I'm going to try and do from now on if only so I don't ever feel this way again.

Just wanted to stop by and quickly say that Tim Schafer the man behind such games as Secret of Monkey Island, Full Throttle, Grim Fandango, and Psychonaughts will be on the Jimmy Fallon late night show tonight to promote his latest game Brutal Legend. It's so cool that a talk show is finally interviewing a game developer now instead of just treating a game like a joke. Well, hope you're able to catch it.

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My E3 Impressions

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Because all the cool kids are doing it, I'll give you my impressions of E3 as well.

Microsoft

Tony Hawk's Ride- Because gamers love and want more plastic peripherals we get Tony Hawk's Ride. Just wait, after this game gets out sold by Skate 3 or 2 Tony will come back next year holding a real skateboard and tell us all to go out side.

Metal Gear Rising - It might not be the MGS4 port 360 owners would of liked and other than that nothing is really known about this game besides the fact that it's about Ryden and not Snake. So is it a new adventure that takes place after the events of MGS4, or is it MGS4 from Rydens perspective? After all Kojima dose like to make special edition versions of the MGS games (Twin Snakes, Substance, Subsistence, and Portable Ops Plus). At this point only Kojima knows the truth, and he's a lot better at keeping secrets than Sony ;) .

Natal - Microsofts big foray into motion control is basically a beefed up Eye Toy, or at least that's what the first few demos made it look like. However, once Peter Molyneux got up on stage things took a turn for the bizarre. He introduced us all to an AI boy called Milo, and every thing was going smoothly until some prick yelled out, "Your not a real boy." This pissed off the AI which in turn activated Sky Net dooming all of man kind. Great job Molyneux.

Nintendo

Wii Motion Plus - Because Nintendo couldn't do it right the first time now we get Wii Motion Plus. I mean come on! Isn't this every thing the Wii Remote was supposed to be to begin with or am I just crazy?Yet now we all have to buy ANOTHER add on peripheral if we're to experience full motion control. The worst part of this is that Nintendo is trying to make it sound like we all should be happy about it.

New Wario Ware - Love the concept behind this one, build and share your own micro games. Granted it's a shameless Little Big Planet rip off, but this years E3 has made it painfully obvious that every developer in the world wants to cash in on that idea. Still, if the tools for building your micro games are easy to learn and use then the next Wario Ware will probably be the best in the series.

Wii Vital Sensor - Because Nintendo doesn't want any one else to die while playing Wii Fit. Seriously!?! I never once thought we would be using medical equipment with our games. I have to admit that I was expecting Kojima to jump out of no were and announce the Wii Dialysis Machine. Kojima - "With Wii Dialysis and Wii Motion Plus I believe you will have the true Metal Gear Rising experience on the Wii. For the first time ever players will live out every moment of Rydens life." Now if only we could play a game of Pong on an EKG machine.

Super Mario Galaxy 2 - Some of the more jaded gamers out there might say that this is just more of the same, I say thank god we didn't have to wait ANOTHER SIX YEARS!!!!!!!

New Metroid - A Metoid game made by Team Ninja....... can't say I know what to feel about this one :? . On one hand Metroid is a series best known for its exploration and grand scale of discovery and adventure. On the other hand Team Ninja is a developer best known for its over the top action, violence, and over sexualization of their female characters. The two just don't seem to go together, but Retro Studios did do a good job with the series and they hadn't even made a game before. So really it's just too early to make a call on this one.

Sony

.......I have nothing. Sony had to go and steel all the good jokes :evil: . From the PSP Go being the worst kept secret to the Hana Montana pink PSP to even the fact that the PS2 is still out selling the PS3..... wait, that one might not of been a joke :P .

Final Fantasy XIV - Well no one saw this coming :shock: . In other news, not to be out done by Sony or Microsoft, Nintendo just announced Final Fantasy XV will only be on the Wii. Players will use the Wii Balance Board to help their on screen caddy slim down in time for the grand Chocobo races.

Well in closing I just want to apologize to all the Nintendo fans out there for ripping on them so much. It's just that they make it so easy some times, and the jokes just came so naturally that I couldn't resist posting them. Still this was a much better year all around for every one and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did :D .

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21st Century Breakdown

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It's been far to long since 2004's American Idiot hit store shelves so it's about time Green Day release their new album 21st Century Breakdown. I've all ready listened to all the tracks, and man is it a huge improvement over Idiot! Rolling Stone even gave it a 4 1/2 out of 5 star review. You can read their full review here.http://www.rollingstone.com/reviews/album/27796996/review/27809821/21st_century_breakdown The CD comes out in stores on the 15th (this Friday), so if like me youenjoy what you hear then go out and buy it :D

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!!!PS3!!!

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Sorry, I got a PS3 about a month ago so that's why I haven't been on this site lately. So far I love my new system, but I can see why so many people would rather have a 360 (installing all your games can take a long time :( ). But I had to play MGS4 some how, and there are a lot of great games coming out this year only on the PS3 (and for $280 it wasn't a bad deal). Oh and another thing I discovered was that 40 gigs just isn't enough for this system so that hard drive has been removed and a 300 gig HDD is now in my system (that should last a while ;) ). Any ways I've beaten most of my games now and I'll be active on this site again probably next week.

Games Owned: Metal Gear Solid 4, FallOut 3, GTA 4, Resistance Fall of Man, Everyday Shooter, Flow, Pixel Junk Eden, and Echnochrome

Games Wanted: Noby Noby Boy, Little Big Planet, Valkyrie Chronicles, Mega Man 9, and Flower

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Poly Station 3

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This is just some random stupid thing I found on the net, enjoy.....

http://technabob.com/blog/2008/01/28/mini-polystation-3-mocks-playstation-3/

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2009 The Games You Shouldn't Miss: Part 3

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Brutal Legend

System: PS3, 360

Developer: Double Fine

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLW2Z0ijIP0

Summery: Tim Schafer has brought us some of the craziest and funniest games of all time such as Psychonauts, Grim Fandango, and Day of the Tentacle. Each and every one of his games has had its own distinct look and feel to it, and some people have even called him the Tim Burton of gaming. Well Brutal Legend looks like it's more than able to live up to the pedigree of Schafers past work, if not surpass it completely. The story focuses on Eddie Riggs a roadie who is transported to the mythic land of rock and roll legend by his cursed belt buckle. In this land humanity is enslaved by demons and the world is full of the relics of the great metal titans who once ruled but disappeared when their musical powers became too profound... did I mention Schafer's games are crazy ;) ? One of the most exciting things about Brutal Legend is the amount of star power that has all ready signed up to work on the game in one way or another. Jack Black, Motorheads Lemmy, and Rob Halford of Judas Priest will all be doing voice work for some of the games main characters. Also bands such as Black Sabbath, Kiss, Killenstein, Zakk Wylde, and Wolfmotther will all be contributing their music, and some of them have even written new songs exclusively for the game. With all of this talent Brutal Legend is bound to be one the years best games.

Again: Eye of Providence

System: DS

Developer: Cing

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulzK0b_ZKWQ

Summery: Point and click adventure games seem to be experiencing a comeback as of late, and part of that could be thanks to how well they lend them selves to the DS. Developer Cing (Hotel Dusk, Trace Memory) is poised to contribute to the genre yet again with their latest game. You'll follow the story of FBI special agent Jonathan Weaver as he trys to piece together the events of his parents death 18 years ago. Weaver was the sole survivor in a series of linked murders that claimed his family, and the game allows players to peer into the past to compare evidence and solve puzzles. Again: Eye of Providence should be out this summer, so get ready to start solving the mystery soon :D.

I Am Alive

System: ? (guessing PS3, 360)

Developer: Darkworks

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZ6Aely9YrQ

Summery: To be honest disaster games really haven't been all that great in the past, and they have all most never fully taken advantage of the unique game play opportunities offered by the genre. Also developer Darkworks isn't the most prolific or experienced game studio out there. However their work on past horror games like Alone In the Dark: The New Nightmare and Cold Fear should help them to get the atmosphere right for the game, and publisher Ubi soft is lending the studio talent from the likes of Far Cry, PoP, and Assassin's Creed so the game play has a real good chance at being genuinely engaging. For now though this looks like a game worth keeping an eye on to see how everything pans out.

Demigod

System: PC

Developer: Gas Powered Games

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vd8an0P5LI

Summery: Okay, this marks the first time I've ever looked forward to a RTS game (a genre I've traditionally hated), so yah there has to be something special about it :D. Well as you can tell from the screen shot, Demigod ditches the traditional military RTS theme for something more fantasy/ Greek based, and this new setting should help it stand out from all the other look alikes in the genre. Also RTS fans should all ready know the developer thanks to their past work on games like Total Annihilation, Dungeon Siege, and Supreme Commander. However, this time instead of just making a great RTS game, the developer is looking to do something different. They want to make the genre both accessible for new comers (me) and still be challenging for veterans. How they plan on achieving this goal is by offering two main different typs of game play through their two typs of characters you play as. The first typ, the general, will play like a traditional RTS with you managing troops and coming up with strategies on the fly. The second typ however, is the assassin. These hulking Shadow of the Colossus look a likes are controlled directly by the player and focus on brute strength over tactics, you can basically play through the whole game with out commanding any troops. These two typs of gameplay combined with fun online multi player could make Demigod one of the funnest and freshest RTS games in a while.

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2009 The Games You Shouldn't Miss: Part 2

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Saboteur

System: PS3, 360, PC

Developer: Pandemic

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ND8Vcvd9sXI&feature=related

Summery: From the guys who brought us Star Wars Battlefront and Mercenaries comes a World War 2 game that manages to stand out in a sub-genre full of copy cats, and uninspired sequels. Saboteur looks to be one part Schindler's List with it's use of black and white to set the mood for a Nazi occupied Paris, it is also another part Assassin's Creed complete with free running and reconacens missions, a fraction of the game could also be likened to Call of Duty due to the shooting sections, and the final part of the game looks to be like Splinter Cell with the option to use stealth in order to gain the upper hand in a situation. If Pandemic can bring all these parts together before the games release, we should have a superb game unlike any other in the genre.

Cave Story

System: Wii Ware, PC (all ready out as free ware)

Developer: Pixel

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr0CCkH49g0

Summery: Okay so this isn't a new game per-say, but it is coming to consoles for the first time. Cave Story started it's life as a free ware game on the PC, but has gained more and more attention for it self due to it's retro look and addictive game play. I would have to say that Cave Story plays most like Super Metroid with a jet pack, which as you can imagine is really really fun :D. So yah, either wait for it to come out on the Wii, or go and down load it on the PC now!

Noby Noby Boy

System: PS3

Developer: Namco Bandai

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9gdn9h8qS8&feature=related

Summery: Yup this is the next game from the development team behind the original Katamari Damacy.... which would explain why the game looks soo weird. From what I can tell you control the front half of Boy with the right analog stick and the back half of his body with the left analog stick. By pulling both analog sticks away from each other you can stretch out Boy, now how this works towards any goal I don't know but Katamari was a really weird game when it first came out and look at how fun that was. So lets all hope that this weird little game comes to gether and turns out to be just as fun and wacky as it's predecessor.

Infamous

System: PS3

Developer: Sucker Punch

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGWAnSTHYrE

Summery: Sucker Punch is responsible for one of my favorite franchises of the last generation, Sly Cooper. Now however, they have moved on to a more gritty affair with Infamous. I guess the best way to describe this game would be the TV show Hero's meets GTA. Your main character has the ability to manipulate electricity, and the city even has a fully functual electrical grid setup for you to drain even more power from. This however will cause that city block to loose all power. Sucker Punch has also gone on record saying that there will be more powers that you can gain, but they wouldn't tell what else there will be just yet. It's kinda cool to see how your actions and powers can affect the area around you, and hey who dosn't want to be a walking power house that can do what ever they want to?

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2009 The Games You Shouldn't Miss: Part 1

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Hey every one, sorry I haven't been around for awhile I'll try and be on more often. Any ways happy new year (since I havn't had a chance to say that to any of you yet)! And well I just wanted to share with all of you some of the games I'm most looking forward to this year, that might be a little too easy to miss with big name titles like Halo Wars and Guitar Hero Metalica coming out this year. So I hope you all enjoy and I'll try and have the next part of this list up next week :D

Muramasa: The Demon Blade

System: Wii

Developer: Vanillaware

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veWCYceVwVU

Summery: Muramasa is the next game from the developer of 2007s unexpectedly great RPG Odin Sphere. Muramasa retains the rich and vibrant hand drawn graphics, but has ditched the time consuming inventory management and alchemy systems. This move should make the game more accessible to a wider audience and help it to become more popular than it's predecessor. The game is set in Japanese mythology, and features fast paced battles similar to those of games like Marvel Vs Capcom or Viewtiful Joe. So if you own a Wii and have been complaining about the lack of "hard core" games you owe it to your self to keep an eye on this gem in the making.

Alpha Protocol

System: PS3, 360

Developer: Obsidian

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jOgcBrmKHU&feature=related

Summery: Developer Obsidian has spent the better part of their existence following in BioWares foot steps, which is no doubt a hard thing to do. In the past they have worked on sequels to both Kights of the Old Republic and Neverwinter Nights and have done a good job at it. But now Obsidian has finally been given the chance to work on their first original IP. Alpha Protocol has perhaps found the coolest and most original setting for a RPG, modern spy espionage. Like any good western RPG these days, Alpha Protocol will feature action based game play (much like Mass Effect) and will allow you to shape your character as you see fit. So if you want to be a stealthy gadget type agent or an explosively reckless bad ass the choice is yours this summer.

Heavy Rain

System: PS3

Developer: Quantic Dream

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akNbviQfddI

Summery: It's really nice to see a developer take an old genre like the point and click adventure games and mold them to today's standards in gaming. Quantic Dreams has found a way to stay true the genres roots in good story telling and at the same time make sure the game play isn't slow and dull like so many other adventure games of old. The main way they do it in Heavy Rain is by allowing the player to dictate the characters actions in real time though contextual button interactions. Another interesting thing about the game is how radically your choices can alter the story. Based on your choices and the way you play the game main characters can die and instead of seeing a game over screen the story continues and adjusts for the absence of that character from that point on. This combined with the intense game play and surreal acting of the characters should make Heavy Rain one of the stand out titles of 2009.

Fragile

System: Wii

Developer: Tri-Cresendo

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yX_q4SwoKfw&feature=related

Summery: Eternal Sonata was a surprisingly great JRPG in 2007 that managed to over come many of that genres weakness though some very creative game play twists. Well now Tri-Cresendos next project, Fragile, looks even more ambitious and fun. Set in a post-apocalyptic world covered in darkness you play as a young boy looking for other survivors. Game play seems to consist of useing the Wii mote to aim your flash light around the environment to reveal puzzles, items, and monsters. Battles take place in real time, but seem to have some RPG elements to them. One of the things that stands out most about this title are the beautiful graphics, perhaps some of the best 3D graphics the system has seen yet. Fragile lookes to be one of the best 3rd party games for the Wii yet, and from what little I've seen of the game so far it has made me want to go out and buy a Wii just so I can play this game.