It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive If you don't have it you're on the other side I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie) -K's Choice, "Not An Addict" I've played Mass Effect 40 hours since Wednesday night. Forty! That's how starved I was for an rpg of this caliber. Having finished the game once and started on my second run through the game, I have some early thoughts for my fellow Commander Shepards and also for anyone who is on the fence about getting this game. 1. Everything that the Gamespot review said about the technical issues is true, and it doesn't matter in the least. The technical issues are there, but they are not nearly as pronounced as the Gamespot review said they were. The framerate issues are worst during non-combat situations during when you are wandering around the Citadel. Not a big deal. If you're worried about these, then don't be. The game doesn't suffer much from them. 2. The storyline in this game is incredible, but it reminds me A LOT of Star Control. (VERY minor spoilers) Protheans = Precursors Reapers = Eternal Ones Asari = Syreen Mako = Planetary Landers 3. The voice acting and the musical score are unbelievable The amount of different voices and the quality level are the best I've seen in a game to date. The musical score is thrilling and will get your heart pounding. 4. The gameplay is the future of both the Shooter genre and the RPG genre Combining shooter style gameplay with rpg style gameplay, characters and storyline? Genius! 5. Dialogue is amazing. 6. The galaxy is huge. It will take a very long time for you to run out of things to do. 7. The galaxy is detailed. The setting, politics, background, etc. is incredibly well developed and fleshed out. Magnificent! 8. If you aren't playing this game then you are a filthy communist and need serious help. 9. The ending (at least the one I saw) is NOT a Cliffhanger. It ties things up and then still creates room for a sequel. (Are you listening Ubisoft?) I will have a full review up hopefully sometime today, but suffice to say that this game is the best game I've seen in years. It is a stunning achievement and, if it does end up being Bioware's swan song, it is an amazing one. Bonus Blogging Goodness! Take a look at the new gaming PC that ChiliDragon and I ordered last night and drool. Case: CoolerMaster Cosmos Silent Gaming Tower w/420 Watts Power Supply CPU: Intel Core 2 Duo E6850 CPU @ 3.0GHz 1333FSB 4MB L2 Cache 64-Bit Video Cards: 2 x GeForce 8800gt 512MB EVGA CD: 18x DVD R/RW + CD R/RW Drive Dual Layer (Free Stuff) Lost Planet: Extreme Condition, Multi-Purpose Carrying Briefcase, T-Shirt Fan: CoolerMaster Liquid CPU Cooling System Motherboard: (Quad-Core FSB 1333) EVGA nForce 680i SLI Chipset LGA775 FSB1333 DDR2 Memory: 4GB DDR2/800 Deal Channel Memory (Corsair XMS2 Xtreme Memory w/Heat Spreader) Sound Card: Creative Labs X-FI Etreme Fatal1ty Pro 24-Bit PCI Speakers: Logitech X-540 70Watts 5.1 PowerSupply: Thermaltake W0131RU ToughPower 850 Watts Hard Drive: 500GB SATA-II 3.0 Gb/s 16 MB Cache 7200 RPM HDD

Okay, today's date as I write this is October 8th, 2007. This is going to eventually be posted on my Gamespot blog as my post for the Thanksgiving Holiday. In other words, I am writing it a bit in advance of when the expected due date is. I'm writing it because, for whatever reason, I got to thinking today about the things that I am thankful for. (No, I am not drunk or stoned in any way, shape or form. I was just feeling introspective.) As I was thinking these deep, introspective thoughts, I kept thinking the same thought over and over again. I am incredibly thankful that I have the ChiliDragon in my life. When I write the list of the things that I am most thankful that I have, the list starts and ends with her, because without her, nothing else in my life would really mean anything to me. That comes out as sounding a bit obsessive, but it is true. I may joke around constantly about various things, including my now famous (infamous?) "I would plow that action" line in reference to Mitsuru Kirijo from Persona 3, but she doesn't mind because I think she knows that, like my references to ogling the native girls in Spain, I don't really mean it. (Well, I might mean the native girl ogling references just a little bit…) I am the most fortunate man alive when it comes to my wife. I'm sure a number of my fellow, married or otherwise attached, bloggers will disagree with me. You're all wrong. I'm right. I've got the best woman in the world. I had to drag her over across two continents and an ocean to get her here, but I did it and now she's all mine.

Growing up, I had a lot of things that I wanted to accomplish in my life. When I was a boy I alternated back and forth between wanting to be an archeologist and study dinosaurs (really, what young boy ever born didn't want to be an archeologist at some point?) and be a professional basketball player and play on the Lakers with Magic Johnson. (It didn't occur to me at that point that Magic might ever grow old. It certainly never occurred to me that he'd "attain" the HIV virus as he so famously put it and retire from the NBA still in the prime of his career.) As I entered into the rather painful transition years between boyhood and becoming a man, I eventually decided that I also wanted a really hot, but also extremely intelligent and caring, woman to share my life with at some point. Well, as we grow older we learn to prioritize what really matters. I never ended up studying dinosaurs. At 5'10", I eventually realized that the Lakers were never going to ink me a contract to come and play for them. However, during college I did eventually meet that really hot/intelligent/caring woman that I wanted to share my life with. She got bonus points for being Swedish (No more excuses from folks not knowing this! I've mentioned it at least a half-dozen times now.) and loving all my favorite activities, including video games. Now we get to the fun part of this blog. I didn't tell her that right away. In fact, it took me over two years to tell her. It wasn't because I was shy. I haven't been described as shy by most people since high school. No, very early on in my relationship with the ChiliDragon, she informed me that she didn't have a lot of guy friends because she had a hard time keeping her guy friends since they always ended up falling for her and things always ended awkwardly when she wasn't interested. (Yeah, I know. It sounds a bit conceited. I never claimed the ChiliDragon wasn't conceited. Besides, I fell for her too so I guess maybe she had a point.) So for two years I ran what was the best clandestine operation of my entire life. I became her best friend. I was her confidant, the person she talked over her problems with when she had them, her shoulder when she needed one, and all the rest of the things that are usually associated with being a woman's best male friend who just happens to be flaming gay. It was a very, very long two years.

Then, one day I told her that I wanted us to be more than friends. In retrospect, it was a bit of an unfair spot to put her in. I very deliberately backed her into a corner where her two choices were that she either chose to give me a shot or risk losing me. To her credit, she picked the right option. (Hey, I never said that I wasn't a little conceited either now did I? Anyone who blogs online has to be at least a little bit conceited.) We'll have been together for six years now in December. Every so often, I still make sure to say "I told you so" to her to remind her that I was right and that this was a good idea. She always gives me a look when I do that suggests she can find a very good divorce lawyer, but hey, I know she doesn't really mean it. If this script sounds like something that might make Hollywood cream their pants over and immediately ask for the rights to make it their next great romantic comedy, well, that's entirely coincidental. I know that this is a bit of a departure from the usual tone of my blogging, but every once in a while I am capable of being serious. So on this uniquely American holiday, let me say to whatever higher power that may or may not exist, thank you for putting the ChiliDragon in my life. Thank you for leading me to my soul mate. Thank you for ignoring my other silly demands for what I thought I wanted most in my life, and giving me what I really needed.

Well, as you all no doubt have learned by now, my glorious and much hyped Mass Effect has gotten an 8.5 rating from Gamespot. A number of technical glitches seem to be the primary culprit behind the lower than expected rating of this game, but where the game was expected to be strong (voice acting, storyline, character development, innovative combat) Bioware seems to have delivered exactly what it promised it would. However, in all the talk that I've seen on Mass Effect throughout blogs, forums, reviews and even through my direct connection with the almighty, supreme being...(I have him in MyFaves! BFF god dude!)...I have yet to see anyone remember one key, important, game changing fact. Bioware always patches its games. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, if we look at the history of Bioware, each and every game that it has released has gotten a patch shortly after the release date to deal with issues that were missed during testing. To me, this is critical, because the main and only criticism of the game that the Gamespot review gave (aside from some rather clunky menus - par for the course with RPG titles) is the technical issues here and there. So if we can expect a patch to come to inevitably fix those issues, then does that leave us with anything other than an excellent game? Edit: By the way, it is odd coincidence that the day Bioware releases its last game independent of EA and the day it ships to my house, it snows for the first time where I live. Coincidence? I think not. My BFF is signaling his displeasure with only seeing one Editor's Choice rpg title from Gamespot in the next generation so far...

Well, I bought and blew through Assassin's Creed already. I have to say, this is a very fun game with the worst cliffhanger ending I've ever seen. It is one thing to leave room for a sequel. It is quite enough to blatantly leave off the final two chapters of the first "book" so to speak. For those of you who are thinking about getting the game, I will be writing a full review shortly. However, you should know right away that the Gamespot review that mentions the "confusing ending" is completely not descriptive enough of how this game ends. "Extortionist ending" comes a little closer to the mark (no pun intended). If you want to actually see how the game ends, you'll need to shell out $60 for a sequel. The game doesn't leave a few loose ends. It leaves an entire sweater factory full of them. This game was great, and I am going to rate it well, but the ending just left a terribly bad taste in my mouth. The ChiliDragon was in the room with me and we saw it together. Our mutual, and almost identical, response when we saw the credits start to roll was "are you f*&%#@g kidding me?!"

Before I begin, I would like to point out that the lack of a "politics" category on these blog thingies is a glaring oversight for Gamespot. Does Gamespot think that nobody at all on this site would ever be interested in writing a blog about politics? Seriously? Well, I don't mind wading into the murky waters that pretty much dictate...well...everything that happens in the entire world around us. Sure, it is a boring subject, but with just a little bit of help, I think that maybe I can clarify the stances of the two main political parties in the U.S. just a little bit. Keep in mind that I intend to do this with my trademark sarcasm barely leashed, so a touch of it may escape from time to time. And, as always, nothing I say is to be taken seriously by anyone at all. Now, let's go directly to the issues. This is where I attempt to cut through the rather copious amounts of poop that you read every day and summarize what the two sides are really saying. Torture Republicans: Conservatives are strong on this issue. We are willing to do anything and everything it takes to protect you, your family and even your pet dog. I do mean anything. We will happily torture people that have been convicted of no crime if that is what it takes to protect you...just in case they might be bad. Granted, confessions obtained under torture are notoriously unreliable because, shockingly, studies have found that people who are under extraordinary amounts of pain will generally say anything and everything that you want them to say in order for the pain to stop. Most kids learned this in kindergarten when they were on either the giving or receiving end of an Indian Burn, but we want to be sure. Fortunately, you aren't a terrorist or this might be scary. But then again, how do we really know that you aren't a terrorist? Well, just to be on the safe side maybe we should... Democrats: We are against torture. At least, we kind of are. A couple of us, Senator Schumer of New York and Senator Feinstein of California, just agreed to let someone who refuses to declare that Waterboarding (a technique practiced by, among others, the Nazis and the Japanese on American troops during WWII, the Khmer Rouge and the Spanish Inquisition) is torture to become the U.S. Attorney General, but at least most of the Democrats voted against the confirmation. I mean, in the words of Chuck Schumer, we at least "registered our displeasure" with President Bush for condoning torture. And that has to count for something...right? I mean, we have very slim majorities in the Senate to protect and we don't want to look weak on terror. We have to pick our battles very carefully. After all, we don't want to risk looking weak! Gay Rights Republicans: Gays should have no rights. In fact, we should toss every single person who even thinks about sucking on a **** or having sex in someone's VIP entrance in jail. None of us have ever had sex with anyone other than a straight, heterosexual partner in the missionary position while married to said partner. And no, Foley, Craig, Haggard and Gannon don't count. Neither do any of these people. Democrats: We believe that gays should have full rights and protections under the law like everyone else. We support something called "Civil Unions", because our country's experiences with black/white education issues a few decades ago showed us that separate but equal works just fine. We can't push too hard, too soon or else we might suffer consequences in an election year. Society just isn't ready to support full marriage rights for gays. We have to move carefully. We don't want to suffer a defeat because that might make us look weak. God Republicans: God is on our side. Everything we do, we do in his name and with his blessing. We believe that God should be everywhere in the U.S. Not just any god though! Heavens no! It has to be the Christian god. Jesus is lord. Jesus is lord. Jesus is lord. Have you been born again? Don't worry though. We have no litmus test for public office. It isn't, legally speaking, a requirement that anyone running for public office support turning the U.S. into a theocracy. It just kind of...well...helps your cause if you know what I mean. By the way, have you met Pat Robertson? He just agreed to endorse Rudy Giulani for President. What's that you say? Rudy's been married three times? He and his children don't speak anymore? He lived with one wife while in the middle of being divorced by another? He dressed in drag? He supports abortion rights? Don't worry about all of that. Giulani is pro-torture, tough on terror and America's Mayor and that's what counts. Democrats: Who is this god fellow you speak of? Oh yeah that guy! We don't really feel comfortable talking about him. If you give us a week though, we'll do some focus grouping and figure out what you want us to say about god. War in Iraq: Republicans: YEEEEEEEHAAAA!!! We love us a little war! Two wars at a time even! We don't mind a little ménage a dos! Afghanistan AND Iraq don't bother us. After all, we're all rich and it won't be our boys and girls dying in those wars. Plus we just passed tax cuts for ourselves (meaning us rich folks) so it don't matter that these wars cost money. What's that you say? There is a country called Iran that's talking some ****? Well no problem! If two wars are good, then three must be even better! After all, we can't afford to seem weak! It doesn't matter if by overextending ourselves we are making ourselves weak. We can't actually afford to look weak. This is really, really, really important. In fact, the entire world will become a Muslim theocracy if we fail in Iraq. It isn't important enough for us to raise your taxes or call for a draft, because we're super afraid of doing that, but it is still the most important thing in the universe right now! You all better support what we're doing or you're aiding the terrorists. Democrats: Well, we tried to end the war in Iraq but that meany Bush wouldn't let us! He's such a bully. We'll show him. We'll pass a non-binding resolution to try and condemn his actions. Don't worry, we aren't giving the president a blank check. Sure we've spent over $1 trillion dollars on the president's wars so far and that amounts to somewhere around $3333 out of the pocket of every man, woman and child in the country, but don't confuse that with a blank check. Besides, Republicans were in control for the first $700 billion or so of that. We're going to demand strict accountability from this president. We'll show him! We'll issue demands for information to prove that the Iraq war was a bad idea. And once the president ignores us, we'll give him six months to either comply with our requests for information or we'll schedule a vote to possibly hold him in Contempt of Congress. We obviously have to go about this really carefully though. We don't want to look too weak on national security in an election year. Health Care Republicans: Socialized medicine! Look over there! It's Hillary Clinton! Evil *****! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! And look, it is Bill Clinton! Remember how eight years ago he got a **** job under the desk and then lied about it? It is a disgrace to the office of the presidency and to the country! Democrats: Everyone should have health care. Now let us take you through the 2378 point plan for how we're going to make this happen. After all, we don't want to look like tax and spend liberals. Ooh! Don't use the word "liberal" please. Forget we said that. We prefer to be called "progressives" now because Republicans have made liberal sound like we're fiscally irresponsible and we don't want to appear to be weak on the issue of taxation. We're really not sure we can afford health care. After all, we just spent over $1 trillion dollars of your money on the Iraq War because we're scared of President Bush making us look weak. Don't worry though, it isn't a blank check! Education: Republicans: We totally have this covered dude! See, this covers it all. It is something called Intelligent Design.

Democrats: Frankly, other than "we should spend more money on this" Jim isn't really sure what to put down here. The Democratic position on this seems to be "Bush is bad for not fully funding his No Child Left Behind Act". That meanie had his fingers crossed behind his back when we helped him pass this!" Video Game Violence and Sex: Republicans: This is the worst threat to your kids in the entire universe. It's also all the Democrats' fault. Democrats: This is the worst threat to your kids in the entire universe. It's also all the Republicans' fault.

Men, we need to talk.

Specifically, we need to talk about the etiquette that we display with each other during a number of key situations. We've all been there. We've brought beer over for poker night and had half a case leftover at the end of the night. Are we allowed to take some of our beer home with us? We've been over at a friend's house watching the big game and had to take a Dump Of Unusual Size. (That would be known as "Dropping the DOUS" to you ladies out there.) Are we justified in leaving that sort of a situation behind in a friend's can? What if you stink up the entire basement? How long must you wait if your male friend breaks up with his hot girlfriend before making your move? Are the sisters of your male friends automatically off limits? What body hair can you remove without being gay? What is the proper approach to handling these, and so many other situations that we find ourselves in? Women constantly are giving each other etiquette advice. Any girl magazine has at least one column dedicated to this sort of thing. Most have an entire section. Have no fear men! Your pleas for help have been heard. I am Doctor Jim, and I am here to help. Today we're going to cover five situations of manly etiquette that frequently arise and the proper approach to dealing with all of them.

Disclaimer: The advice contained herein is generally for my own amusement value. Actual results of following my advice may vary widely. Dropping the DOUS: When is this allowed vs. when do you have to "tough it out" or "go on a beer run" to attend to the situation? We've all been there. It's getting on in the evening. Beers have been drunk. Pizza has been devoured. Gas is building. You're in the middle of a poker hand and suddenly you realize; it is time to fold. Quickly. As in, unless you've got a royal flush it is time to toss those bad boys into the muck. You need to go drop the DOUS, but you know it is going to be epic. We're talking about a potential four flusher. Your friend's toilet is going to need cleaning the next day or possibly even before he goes to bed that night in the worst situations. You feel a little guilty, and frankly, you should.

So...is it acceptable for you to go commit this sin in your buddy's most holy of places? Should you make that offering to the porcelain god? The answer depends strongly on the answer to a number of very important questions. 1. How long have you known this friend? If it is less than a year, consider going on the aforementioned "beer run" if you're sober enough. Gas station attendants at least get paid to clean up after your sorry ***.

2. Is this buddy of yours single or does he have a female that lives with him? Let's face it men, we're disgusting. Our natural ecological environment is, shall we say, a little less evolved than that of our opposites. If this buddy has a live-in girlfriend or a wife, you may very well be costing him nookie later on that night if you drop that DOUS. Again, it may be beer run time. 3. Has your friend sinned against you recently? If the answer to this is yes, then by all means, go for it. In fact, make sure you mention it to him when you come back to the table with an insincere sounding, "Gee, sorry about that Jim." You stinky bastard you! 4. If you are there watching a game, is your team losing? If you're there playing poker, is your buddy beating you? If either of these is occurring, I think we both know what you need to do here. 5. Is this actually your friend? Or is it a friend of a friend? Did you get invited, or did another friend of yours secure the invite? If you got the "second hand invite", then strongly consider holding it in. When in doubt, well, let's face it. This is a natural result of beer and pizza. Go for it. A true friend will understand. The end of the night beer situation: What happens to the leftover beer? You brought over a case or two, but the end of the night has arrived and there is plenty of beer leftover. For the younger men and/or Fraternity men, this does actually happen. It isn't sinful to end the night with reserves. Drinking to the point of getting alcohol poisoning just to make sure there aren't leftovers is not a requirement or some sort of rite of passage. It'll be alright if you save some for breakfast the next morning. So...what happens to the remaining beer? How many, if any, of those eight beers out of the case you brought over are you allowed to reclaim and go home with? The answer, my friends, is two. You are allowed to take two beers home with you, provided you brought a minimum of twelve with you when you came. (If you brought less than twelve, you may only take one.) Why is the answer two you ask? And no, the answer isn't "because I have two hands dude!" The first beer that you're allowed to reclaim is the proverbial "one for the road" beer. (Note: Contrary to how this sounds, you should not actually drink this beer while you are driving on the road. Feel free to drink it between your front driveway and the front door if you wish however. You're going to get in trouble with your wife or girlfriend anyway. You may as well get your money's worth.) The second beer is your "biting the dog back" beer. In other words, it is your cure for your hangover the next morning. The rest of the beer now belongs to your friend. Why? Because he put up with your smelly ways during the course of the entire evening, and may even be cleaning his toilet the next morning while nursing a hangover after the "other" thing you brought to the party and left behind. Moving on. Your friend and his smoking hot girlfriend just broke up. How long must you wait before you go after her? 1. Did the breakup happen due to cheating on her part? If so, then she is off-limits forever if you've been friends for three years or longer. Less than three years? Then wait triple the amount of time your friend and her were together. (If they were together for a year, for example, then you must wait a minimum of three years.) 2. Did the breakup happen due to cheating on your friend's part? Well then, chances are she needs to be comforted. Wait one week just so you aren't a total scum (and so it isn't obvious to her what you're doing), but then get moving because she'll never be in a more vulnerable emotional state and will be eager to have "revenge nookie" with you to get back at your friend. And frankly, he deserves it. 3. How long have they been together? Did they live together? If they were together longer than a year and/or lived together for a minimum of six months, and the breakup was not related to cheating by either party, then your responsibility is to your friend. She's off limits for at least as long as they were together and/or double the amount of time they lived together, whichever is more. No exception can be made to this practice. I don't care if your friend says it is okay. He's only saying that to prove he's over her.

4. Are they broken up but still having sex? If this is the case, then the breakup is still in progress. Avoid her like the plague. If you get tempted, just picture your friend nailing her and that should help you remain strong until the breakup is finalized. 5. Has your friend ever flirted with a girlfriend of yours while you were still with her? Did he act innocent when you called him on it? Did he say that you were "overreacting"? My friend, the code of man has been broken! Feel free to go after his former squeeze toy as quickly as you wish. 6. Has he moved on to (or onto) someone else? This question is irrelevant. Normal guidelines from point number 1 above still apply.

Your friend's sister is really hot. You could see yourself plowing that action. Are you allowed to do this? 1. If it is an older sister, then you may proceed. 2. If it is a younger sister, then you may not proceed. 3. If it is a younger, underage sister, then not only must you not proceed, you must keep forgetting her name and the fact that she even exists. Exception: If you've had anything to drink while you're at your own home, and your friend is on your home turf, then you must tease him mercilessly about how hot his sister is. You must describe, in endless detail, how much you think his sister would be "fun" to date. If the sister is in the room, you must flirt with her openly. You must not, however, actually go through with any of it because then you could land in prison where you will promptly become someone else's "little sister". 4. Twin sister: If your buddy has a twin sister, then she is off limits. 5. Twin sisters - Plural: If your buddy has two sisters who are hot twins, then you MUST proceed! (Preferably while drinking "Coors" beer.) 6. Stepsister: These don't count as sisters. Proceed if you wish, but chances are they are ugly and you're just looking at her with beer goggles on. All stepsisters are ugly. All the fairy tales confirm it. Have you ever heard of the "hot stepsister"? This brings me to the final subject for today's discourse. It's an ugly one, so I saved it for last. Let's talk about body hair. Which parts of the male body may have hair removed without crossing the fine line that separates practicing good hygiene from generally being gay? 1. Face: This is easy. Feel free to shave or not shave as you see fit. Although, it is generally advised that you avoid the dreaded "unibrow". 2. Head: Generally speaking, unless you're black I'd avoid shaving your head. You just look either stupid, pretentious or like a neo-nazi. Exceptions can be made if you're going bald anyway. In that case, not only is shaving your head okay, but you should go ahead and have a little dignity and get it over with. The "partial" bald look is way worse than the fully shaved, clean look. But don't do it if you have blue eyes, okay? 3. Arms: You're pushing it here sport. I'm going to generally advise against this.

4. Armpits: Dude...just don't do it. That's...just not right. 5. Chest: Hair may be removed for summer months, or if you're a bodybuilder type. If you don't have any muscles down there, then you should probably leave the hair in place because you need all the help you can get appearing manly. 6. The "Private" Region: There is nothing wrong with removing as much hair as you want down here. It may even aid your manly activities. Let's not go into too much detail here.

7. Butt: Gay If god had wanted men to have smooth butts he would have provided us with them. If you're shaving your hind parts then not only do you have WAY too much time on your hands, but you're showing a shameful lack of testosterone.

8. Legs: We're into the ultra gay range here. Just don't do it. Exceptions Professional swimmers or runners may shave their legs. 8. Back: Encouraged. 9. Ears: Required. 10. Nose: REALLY required. Well folks, that's all for this edition of "The Man Blog". I hope you all learned something. As a reminder, all advice contained herein and heretofore is purely for amusement value. I take no responsibility if you're stupid enough to actually follow any of it.

Often times of the last year or so, I've felt like I've ended up on the bad end of a price drop or a feature increase. 1. Got the PSP as a gift from the ChiliDragon right before the PSP Slim was announced 2. Got the 360 right before the Elite and smaller, cooler chips (not to mention the end of RRoD at last) was announced 3. Got the PS3 a couple of months before they began offering the deal where you can get 5 Blurays for free with purchase and before they started dropping the price right and left Now, I understand that when you get something early, this is the risk you take. I don't blame Sony or Microsoft or anyone other than myself really for not being patient. On the other hand, I got a lot of Next Gen and handhold gaming goodness done before others who waited and got the better deal so, to a certain extent, these things end up balancing out. But tonight I find this righteous feature on Gamespot literally days before I was planning on purchasing an expensive 8800gtx ultra and I think to myself, "At last! At last I find myself on the right side of one of these updates." For those of you who are too lazy to read the article, I'll summarize for you. 1. The new 8800GT 512mb card, defying all common laws, will be more powerful than the 8800GTS 640 MB card at a lower price point 2. You can afford to get two 8800GT 512 MB cards and run them in SLI for the same price as one 8800GTX 768mb card.

3. The 8800GT 512mb card, while already nearly as powerful as its very expensive older brother the 8800GTX, will give significantly better performance in a two card SLI configuration for the same price of a single card 8800GTX solution. Or, to put it more succinctly, this is a little slice of awesomeness bestowed upon us by Nvidia and the PC gaming gods. It is a slice that, if I had moved immediately on my Super Sexy Deal, I would have also missed completely. Needless to say, as I sit here, in my silk boxers, (yes I threw that comment in there for the express purpose of making you all feel just a tiny bit disturbed and/or aroused) with the ChiliDragon playing Persona 3 behind me, I am a happy, happy little blogging boy. Frankly, this (along with the ChiliDragon...of course) is one of the sexiest things that I've ever seen outside of the better equipped Gentleman's Clubs. 8800GT SLI here I come.

Alrighty folks, it is time to raise the curtain on a discovery recently made by the magnificent and sexy ChiliDragon. The mysterious way I have kept this under wraps while I have explored this has gotten some rather...unusual...guesses from some of the more wild imaginations among our lively community. OK, now you've seriously piqued my interest. Is this perhaps some sort of stripper/PC-hybrid? In addition to running The Witcher, does it pleasure you indescribably? If yes, I am so getting one of those whatchamacallits! Monco59 While that would indeed be something well worth spending $600 on (and something that would certainly put the pesky console makers out of business once and for all after word got around), I am sad to say it is not a stripper/PC-hybrid. I think it's a giant life size blow up doll of our buddy Jimbo's man crush dude. Xboxrulze The "Man Crush Dude" referenced in the previous sentence is none other than the indescribeably macho Kratos from the God of War games. And, frankly, if I knew where to order something like that I would do so in an instant, and then put it out on my front porch for the upcoming Halloween holiday to scare off those pesky kids that constantly ring my doorbell. I don't think I would ever keep it inside, because then I would, of course, be walking around with a constant inferiority complex within my own house as Kratos' manly muscles greeted me every new morning. Um...time to move on. The deal that the ChiliDragon discovered is through our local CompUSA store. They are offering a deal similar to Best Buy's product replacement plan on ALL computer parts being sold in their store. The deal is that you pay a slightly extra fee up-front and then, anytime in the following two years, you can bring the item you bought back in for store credit for the full purchase amount. So, for example, if I were to buy THIS bad mamba jamba, I could bring it in a couple of days before the two year anniversary of my purchase and get $700 to use towards anything in the store. Say, as an example, a brand new, updated video card. The initial purchase item does not need to even be broken! Naturally, the downside is that you don't get to keep the part you're bringing back in. But as the PC gaming enthusiasts among us know, computer parts are worth much, much less two years after you get them anyway. Soooo...right now it looks like I will be getting that sexy beast of a card that I linked to in the original quote, and then two years later bringing it back in and getting the updated sexier beast version (or, alternatively, $700 worth of goodies in some other form.) The price for this trade-in plan for the part in question? $90. So I would be swapping $90 now for $700 two years from now.

The company that I work for has a program wherein managers can give special awards for truly exceptional performance once in a while throughout the year. These special awards are "points" that you can redeem for things like gift cards to your favorite stores. Today, I got my third such award of this year. Each of my awards has been for the maximum amount of 200 points each. This means that I have $600 worth of points that I need to redeem. This program comes with two caveats: 1. The awards do not carry over from one year to the next. If, by the end of this fiscal year (November 1st at 5:00 PM) I have not selected an appropriate store or stores to get gift cards from, then the $600 is added to one of my paychecks and taxed to the full extent of my state and federal tax bracket rates. 2. I can choose to redeem the points in the form of a cash award at any time, but once again, by law, that means that the points would be taxed. So...not wanting to waste part of this award by paying somewhere between a third and a half of the value to Uncle Sam in the form of income tax, I need some help deciding what to spend my award points on. The three stores that I am considering getting gift cards to that this program lets me use are: Best Buy Circuit City CompUSA There are plenty of other stores and restaurants that I can redeem my points at, but I'm thinking that since these points are awards for exceptional performance on my part I should buy toys with them. So...here is the challenge to my faithful readers. You must find a combination of items from these three stores that come to, or near, $600 in total value. I have the following toys already and therefore am not interested in getting duplicates. 1. Xbox360 2. PS3 3. 37" Westinghouse 1080P HDTV 4. 61" Samsung 1080P HDTV 5. HD-DVD add-on for the 360 6. Guitar Hero 2 and DDR 7. PS2 Slim, Original Xbox, Gamecube 8. Surround Sound system for the Samsung TV 9. Computer parts currently in use are: Intel Pentium 4 2.6 GHZ Processor (Currently overclocked to 2.8ghz) NVidia GeForce 7800GS BFG Tech Overclocked Video Card (AGP 8x/4x based) Asus P4C800-E Deluxe Motherboard 2 GHZ DDR1 Kingston HyperX Memory (Don't remember the specs off the top of my head...doesn't matter. This memory would need to be upgraded if I got a new motherboard.) iOmega 250 Gig 7200rpm External Hard Drive (Brand new.) 10. Canon PowerShot SD750 Digital Camera One rule that must be observed: If you make a suggestion, it must be something specific. In other words, you can't just say "Dude, get a surround sound system to go with your Westinghouse TV dude!" You need to suggest a specific system. You may mix and match toys from the three stores listed above or, if you have a different suggestion for something that is not at one of those stores, you may feel free to suggest that. However, those are the only electronics stores that qualify for this points redemption. So, by all means, feel free to suggest computer stuff, but it has to be sold by one of those three stores. The winning suggestion will earn a prize of some sort. I haven't really figured out WHAT yet, but I'll think of something. It may be something as simple as an "attaboy/attagirl" call-out in a future blog post, or it might be something a bit better than that if I can think of something good. Have fun all!

Why not take them both? This is what Bioware has done in the last few weeks with their double shot to my gut in the form of first selling out to EA and then, today's announced rumor by Gamespot that the next Knights of the Old Republic game would be a MMORPG game. The first announcement left me stunned and depressed, in effect causing my blog to go silent for weeks. The second article, even though still a rumor at this point, was enough to make me break my silence, register, and then post the following letter on Bioware's official forums. In the last couple of weeks, Bioware has given me two punches right to my gaming gut. First was this announcement that Bioware has sold out to a half-rate publisher that churns out bad, sloppy, and half-finished games. That was bad enough, because Bioware has been my favorite game developer for years. I admit that I was crushed by the news. And now today, Gamespot posts a rumor that Knights of the Old Republic 3, one of my most anticipated games of all time, is going to be a MMORPG. Taken together I consider these two announcements to be almost a crippling blow to my previously unbreakable faith in Bioware as a company. As I watched Bioware turn out some of the greatest games of all time, from Neverwinter Nights to Knights of the Old Republic to Jade Empire, there were two things that I thought Bioware would never, ever do. 1. Release a buggy, unfinished game like other developers like Obsidian do. 2. Give up on creating moving, powerful first person games with excellent storylines and great character development. Now? Well, I am no longer certain that either of these two things will remain true going forward. EA's games have lacked heart and soul for many years. They have a well deserved reputation for churning out endless mediocre games and rushing games to release without polishing them. Similarly, even generic shooter title games tend to have more in the way of storyline and character development than pointless, level grinding MMORPG titles. I have faith that EA's purchase of Bioware came too late to impact Mass Effect and I continue to believe it will be the best game purchase that I will have made in years. But for future titles? Well, if the two recent news announcements were any indication then my favorite game developer may be breaking my heart on a consistent basis in the future. I love Bioware. I love their games. I love their consistent, proven track record for excellence and devotion to serving their fans and their customers (who are really one and the same) with excellent, innovative, beautiful games. I will be giving Bioware the benefit of the doubt and will almost certainly buy the next few games they release. However, they have moved from "preorder and buy without even bother reading any online reviews" to a "read a number of reviews and ask my friends what they thought" status. Oh, and I won't buy a KOTOR3 MMORPG for any reason. If Bioware is going for an MMORPG to have a cash cow game, then they should know that this is one lonely fan who won't even bother looking at the game. Please Bioware, don't break my heart! Jim Sometimes I feel like the gaming industry is leaving folks like me behind. I don't like MMORPG games and, sadly, these days most of the resources that used to go towards making good traditional rpg titles are going towards the cash cow subscription based MMORPG titles. I like shooter games when they contain strong, singleplayer storyline based gameplay, but sadly most shooters these days are built with multiplayer in mind first and foremost and storyline based, singleplayer gameplay almost an afterthought. Last, but not least, I'm not a big fan of "Action Roleplaying" games because they seldom contain any true roleplaying elements. Oblivion was justly hailed as a magnificent game in a lot of ways, but it lacked anything resembling character development (aside from Martin Septim) and the storyline was pretty lame. That is the hallmark of most "Action Roleplaying" games. They are beautiful and the gameplay can be a lot of fun, but they skimp on storyline and characters. That is why I am so excited about Mass Effect. It promises the best of both worlds. I get fun and challenging gameplay, and also the things like, for example, dialog trees, that make roleplaying games so great. As I said in my open letter to Bioware, I am going to give them the benefit of the doubt. That having been said, I will be watching the next year or so from Bioware very, very carefully.