Last week I posted about the issues that I had been having getting Microsoft to agree to a replacement console in the event that, if I send m broken 360 in to be repaired again, that it breaks for a 3rd time. I am happy to report that today, I have obtained what I wanted. I escalated from the first level folks up to the supervisors, and from the supervisor's level up to their manager. I got a very nice manager named **** on the line who has given me what I have asked for. My final settlement with Microsoft is as follows: Jim will... Accept the repair process for a second time by sending in his broken 360 and not insist upon a brand new console this time around. He will accept Microsoft at their word that their repair process, complete with new and improved parts, now works perfectly and he will not have any problems for a third time. In return, Microsoft will... Guarantee that if Jim does have a third broken console, he will get a replacement console with no questions asked Get a repaired console with new parts this time Be given a free Viva Pinata game Be given a free extra month of Xbox Live Gold Personally, I consider this a fine solution. I do not feel that I must have a brand new console to obtain satisfaction. I am quite happy with my 360 when it is working. I don't need an Elite/Pro. I don't need HDMI or a larger hard drive. All of these things would be nice, but I didn't require them when I purchased my console and so I cannot in honesty require them now. However, I did require a console that I could trust and rely upon to last me for several years without breaking down. And that is what I am supposedly getting now. The manager who approved my replacement in advance if I have a third broken console has given me his personal contact information, including extension, should I have further problems. And so, I have a honor debt that I must pay now. I consider it just as important to say good things about a company that makes things right as I do to spread bad word of mouth about a company that does things wrong. Just as I, in a previous blog, said bad things about Microsoft for shipping defective consoles, I now must acknowledge that they have, in the end, done the right thing by their customer. They have, once I got past the entry level folks on the phone line, acknowledged their fault and done what is required to make things right, and they are to be commended for it.

And so I do just that. I commend Microsoft here for taking responsibility for ensuring that their customer gets off the phone satisfied. I am pleased with this resolution, and I have kind feelings for how it has ended. Yes, in an ideal world I would not know be preparing to send a broken console in to be repaired a second time. But I must acknowledge that they have done the right thing here and applaud them for it.

Kudos Microsoft! Updated Notes: One other thing for future reference. It seems that Microsoft, like many companies these days, has both U.S. based and offshore phone support. It seems to be pure luck which queue you get into when you call in. However, the offshore support doesn't go up above the supervisor level, whereas the U.S. based support has managers above the supervisors. If you hit a roadblock calling in the first time, try calling back another time and you may get a different escalation path.

Well, I believe I promised native girl pics. I don't believe I specifically stated SPANISH native girl pics. So, without further ado, I present the native girls of Suikoden V. Author's Note: For any mods out there who may be concerned with this trifling little picture. The game, Suikoden V, was rated T for Teen, not M for Mature. So why bother getting upset at this harmless little image of partially covered and out of focus pixelated nudeness? Who are we to overrule the ESRB rating system in all its infinite wisdom? And now, without further ado...BOOM BABY!

Well, I knew it was bound to happen again sooner or later. And, with Murphy's Law being what it is, it didn't happen during the super slow months of June or July, but right smack in the middle of August before some of this year's best games are scheduled to come out. Yes, as the subject line of my blog indicates, my Xbox 360 has died on me for a second time. Allow me to present exhibit A. For those of you keeping track at home, the following Microsoft branded gaming equipment and peripherals have died on me in the last year of my gaming. 1. My original Xbox360 2. My HD-DVD add-on...exactly one month past the three month warranty 3. My repaired Xbox360 On the plus side, Microsoft has manned up and now offers a 3 year warranty on their 360s. On the downside, they sure seem to need it. Oh, and it would have been nice if they offered that 3 year warranty before I shelled out $99 for their two year product replacement/warranty extension plan after my previous Xbox360 died. To make matters worse, this is not the only piece of equipment that I have had that has broken down recently. The laptop that I am typing this post on is itself a warranty replacement work laptop. Yep, last week my previous laptop went to the big refuse pile in the sky when it stopped booting completely. But wait, that's not all! It's bargain days at Jim's ****y electronic equipment place. Recently, the wife's PC hard drive from Maxent also went kaput. When I say, "went kaput", I don't mean that it got a virus and needs to be cleaned. I don't mean that the operating system got corrupted, and we need to do a backup, format, and reinstall. No, I mean it is physically fried. During a normal, routine bootup one fine day, we started hearing a bizarre clicking sound. Upon further review, it appears that the little thingie that reads the disc has slipped somehow, and the disc will not read at all. I hate electronics. I seriously, seriously do. I realize that part of this is just the cost of being on the cutting edge. But on the other hand, frankly, this shouldn't happen. Period. Who does quality control for some of these companies churning out these products? Some sort of blind, drunk and senile hamster? In any event, sadly, there is nothing that can be done about the wife's hard drive at this time. We're going to try and find a way to get one last boot out of it so we can move the truly critical things...you know like wedding photos...off the hard drive and onto a backup location. But it seems that new computer equipment might be a requirement sooner than I had originally thought. As for the 360, well, quite frankly I've had just about all the cra.p I can stand from MS with regards to their quality control. They're going to have to give me something in addition to a new 360 that I can count on breaking six months from now. I want a replacement upgrade to the Pro/Elite or whatever they're calling the new 360 these days. Is this a reasonable request? Well, frankly, I think that it is. I've spent over a $1000 on 360, HD-DVD, games, wireless adaptor, battery charger, warranty extension, etc. that goes directly into Microsoft's products over the last year, and now it is questionable on whether or not I'll be able to play Bioshock when it comes out. $1000, and right now I cannot do anything except go play on my PS3. Yep...I want an upgrade. And I want one pronto. Updated Information after calling Microsoft Well, thus far I've been unable to secure a replacement upgrade. On the plus side though, I have been able to secure a new game of my choice. The chices are: Viva Pinata Kameo Project Gotham Racing I already have Kameo, so it comes down to a choice between Viva Pinata and Project Gotham Racing. I'm not a huge racing fan, so if I am going to get a racing game it will be that new Forza 2 game. That leaves Viva Pinata. Frankly, I'm okay with that. I've always been mildly interested in the game, but never interested enough to pull the trigger and make my move to the cashier's stand. With regards to the replacement/upgrade...I have learned that Microsoft's replacement/upgades have to be approved by corporate itself...whatever the hell that means. The supervisor I spoke to said that he's never seen one approved after "only" two broken consoles. This of course makes me wonder just how many would be required. I chose not to ask at this time. Their systems that process these things are down anyway, so I told the supervisor to add the approved game to my file and that I would call tomorrow to discuss the rest of what I am entitled to. (Not my exact choice of words, but the impression that I left.) For the most part, I've backed away a bit on the upgrade, but I am holding my ground on the replacement part. I absolutely have flat refused to just get a repaired or refurbished console back. "But sir..." the supervisor said "Repaired consoles are rigorously checked for any faults before being sent out. I can assure you that your new one wouldn't break again." "If that is the case..." I valiantly replied "Why am I then calling you back about another broken console when I accepted a repaired one last time? Obviously your checks aren't rigorous enough are they? And while I am not mad at you personally, merely your companies policies in this area, I cannot take you at your word that we won't be having this conversation again five months from now." More to come tomorrow. Stay tuned.

I recently got my dad a big boxed set of every "Star Trek" movie ever made in special edition DVDs for his birthday. As I was wrapping the present, I had an epiphany that the subject of bundling in video games might make a fun blog topic. We see bundles all the time, everywhere we go, in other industries. Yet, they are relatively rare in the video game industry. Here are some bundles that I am aware of: Morrowind: Game of the Year Edition (Morrowind plus the two expansions) Ninja Gaiden Trilogy (Ninja Gaiden 1-3 on a super nes disk) Final Fantasy Chronicles (Included Final Fantasy IV and Chrono Trigger) Final Fantasy Anthology (Final Fantasy V and VI) Grand Theft Auto packs Everquest Evolutions and Everquest Platinum Warcraft Battlechest Starcraft Battlechest These obviously aren't the only ones that could/would do well in a bundle. Now, before I go on, I realize there are some obvious downsides to each and every bundle I'm about to describe below. We're dealing with just theory and conjecture after all, that each of these, if done right, could work out nicely for both the game developers and the consumers. I realize that each approach has strengths to be exploited and weaknesses that would need to be overcome. Now, here are some bundling ideas that I think could sell well if they were released: Any trilogy (Halo Trilogy, God of War trilogy, etc.) What I like about this is that it allows anyone who has missed the beginning game or what have you to come in and be immediately caught up. As an added bonus, you could update the graphics of the early games to match the later one. Who wouldn't want to see God of War 1 and God of War 2 with updated PS3 style graphics included on the disc that is released with God of War 3? Oooh baby! Don't talk dirty to me! Or rather, please do! Yes, I know that some will argue that they'd rather game developers be working on a new game, but that's ignoring the possibility of increasing business leading to increased hiring in a given company. In other words, who says a company can't do both? Just as an example, Sony isn't just a video game developer after all. Saying that companies that release as many and as varied of products as Sony does can't work on more than one game concurrently is like saying that you or I can't walk and chew gum at the same time. The same could apply for any other major company. (Nintendo, for example, sure works on plenty of first party games at a time.) The complete...(Fill in the blank, long running franchise series The Video Game industry is replete with long running franchises, and, frankly, the technology finally exists to allow us to put entire franchises onto one little disc. For example, who but the most rabid hater of rpg games wouldn't be at least mildly interested in purchasing a disc that had Final Fantasy 1-12 on a single bluray disc? Certainly it would be better than Square Enix releasing the old games one at a time for the PSP, getting them rated a 6.0 or whatever, and then trying to justify selling 20 year old games with a couple of new textures thrown on as a brand new game right? That's like putting on a new coat of paint on my 1995 Toyota Camry and trying to convince people that it's a 2007 Toyota Camry instead. And Final Fantasy isn't the only good candidate for this sort of bundling. What about Mega Man, Dragon Quest, Resident Evil, Devil May Cry, Metal Gear, Suikoden, Grand Theft Auto and Virtua Fighter to name just a few? Bundle it with the new title in the franchise This is related to the trilogy bundle above, but slightly different in that some games have been going on longer than a trilogy. Surely a great way to justify a newly pricey $60 for a new game would be to do this? Shelling out that much cash at a time would be much easier to swallow if, while getting Devil May Cry 4, the series threw in Devil May Cry 1 as well. After all, after a game has been out for a couple of years…or longer…this would be a great way to not only revitalize interest in the older games, but also sell more copies of the new game. And after a game has been out for a certain number of years, how many copies of the older games are really selling? Hell, who can even find some of the older games in stores after a few years? And, if you forego updating the graphics like I suggested earlier, then it wouldn't really cost game companies that much more to throw an older game or three on the disc now would it? As an added bonus, it would even allow gamers to be more easily awed at how great the newest game in the series is when they could go to the very first game and compare. If the economics of doing this didn't work, then maybe you could up the price of the new title just a bit to compensate. A sweet spot has to exist that would make this a greater overall value. Rather than paying $30 to find a used copy of GTA: San Andreas and then paying $60 for GTA IV when it comes out, I think some people would love paying $75 for a combo HD-DVD or Bluray that came out with both games included. The consumer likes it because they get both games for a lower overall price than they would have and in one, convenient package. The company loves it because they don't make a dime when Joe Gamer runs out to ebay to buy a used copy of GTA: San Andreas. Crossover releases… This one would be a bit dicey, but I think it would be doable and at least a little bit worth looking into. Not all game companies hate each others' guts and are setup as direct rivals like, just for example, Sony and Microsoft. The basic idea would be that both companies would sell more copies of their game(s) bundled together than they would individually, and the value to the customer would be that they get the combined bundle at a cheaper price than they would otherwise pay. That's what I mean by crossover releases bundled together. In certain situations, where the synergy of releasing together two or more games made by different companies makes sense, it would have to be a huge selling point. If the two games sold separately were $120, then why not sell them together for $100? The two companies involved could jointly share the costs of marketing and distributing the game, therefore reducing the overall cost burden to each company individually, and pass along the savings to the customers. Each company by itself could lower its overall risk a bit as well by sharing the burden. Would a combo pack of Knights of the Old Republic 1 and Knights of the Old Republic 2, released by Bioware and Obsidian, interest anyone? Or would a combination of buying "Fear" and "Bioshock" together get anyone a little flushed and excited? Precedent exists for this type of co-branding in lots of different places. The most common one I can think of is with regards to computer equipment. For example, it wasn't so long ago that computer Company X was using printer Company Y's printers to help sell their computers, and vice versa. "Buy a Company X computer before the end of month ABC and we'll throw in this Company Y printer absolutely free!"

Greatest Hits Collections

Let's face it, this is an idea that the music industry has been using for years to astonishing success. It doesn't matter that I own just about every U2 CD ever made, it didn't stop me from buying U2's Greatest Hits Collection when it came out. Some game developers are equally as iconic. The value to the game developers, of course, is that they sacrifice a touch of profit margin on a percentage point basis for greater profit overall. In other words, let's say that Bioware would make 35% Gross Margin profit if they sold one copy of Jade Empire, one copy of Knights of the Old Republic, and one copy of Baldur's Gate. Now let's say that they bundle the three games together and sell them as some sort of Greatest Hits collection at a reduced price and they sell three copies of each game at a 28% Gross Margin. They may not be making as much money on each game, but by selling many more games overall, they make more money as an absolute value. Square-Enix tried this one with Final Fantasy Chronicles, but I think that this technique could be used in a more wide-ranging and extensive manner. Obviously, the greatest drawback to some of these approaches is that fans of a given developer or series probably have several of the games already and therefore a bundle that includes duplicates of a game they already have loses value, but again, I think if done right each of these above approaches has potential. So those are just a few simple ideas. They are far from perfect, and indeed some of the bundles are probably wishful thinking, but fun anyway. Comments welcome and appreciated!

This blog has been edited for formatting and to remove one joke I later decided was in bad taste.

I don't like the new Gamespot rating system. Specifically, I don't like how you can only rate in jumps of half a point. It takes away a large amount of a guy's ability to make small judgement distinctions between the quality level of a game. I'm sure that I'm not saying anything now that hasn't been said a hundred times before, but to me it is a fairly significant issue. Recently, I decided that after some 35 odd hours of playing Suikoden V (and a few more hours watching the wifey play it prior to my getting my greedy little hands on the game) I decided it was time to rate it. (I intend to write a full, and very extensive, review of this excellent game when I finally finish it.) Now here is my dilemna. This game is a better game than a 9.0. However, it doesn't quite reach a 9.5. If I was to rate it before the change to the rating system, I would have given it a 9.3. This would have placed it comfortably behind God of War 2 and Knights of the Old Republic on my sliding scale, but right about equal to Final Fantasy IX. (Off the topic, I think I'm going to bump down Oblivion to a 9.0. Suikoden V and its beautiful storyline and cast of characters has reminded me of how shallow Oblivion was in those areas.)

As I already mentioned, I consider Suikoden V to be about as good of a game as Final Fantasy IX, but not quite as good as Final Fantasy X or Knights of the Old Republic. And therein lies the problem with the new Gamespot rating system. How exactly can I express such differences? If I was to rate all four games today, I'd probably have no choice but to give all of them a 9.5. This would indicate that the games are all exactly equal to each other in quality, and frankly that isn't the case. They have small, but important, quality differentiations that I can now no longer indicate in my ratings.

I went and saw the new Bourne movie yesterday afternoon, and I have to say that I was very impressed. Normally when one comes to the third movie of a trilogy, it ends up being bad. In many cases, (Godfather III, Spiderman III, Matrix III) it ends up being very bad. I therefore went in with low expectations here. To my great surprise, not only was The Bourne Ultimatum a very good movie, it was, in my opinion, the best movie of the trilogy. The Good: The movie soars to its conclusion. The action sequences are a thrill ride. Several things about Bourne's murky past get explained in a well put together way. The acting was universally good. The flashback sequences that show Bourne, bit by bit, getting his memories of the past back are exciting and well presented visually. The Bad: Camera work needs improvement. During several of the sequences, the camera is just too close to the action (similar to the new Transformers movie) which makes it difficult to see what is going on. At other times, the camera is properly spaced away, but it is shaking enough to give a viewer sea sickness. The Ugly: The movie doesn't hold back when showing the moral decline of some of the recent U.S. government practices from torture/enhanced interrogation, extraordinary rendition, and even the deliberate targeting of U.S. citizens. (The ultimate no, no in the minds of most Americans.)

Japanese RPG game making is dead. At one time, Japanese game developers were considered to be synonymous with great rpg titles. These were the folks who created Final Fantasy and Dragon Warrior. They brought us the Destiny of an Emperor and Chrono Trigger games. If you wanted a good rpg title, you need not even bother looking anywhere in the rest of the entire world. Japan had your hookup. That is not the case any longer. The golden age of Japanese RPG making is gone, perhaps forever. Finished. Stick a fork in it, because it is most assuredly done. But hey, don't take my word for it. Please look at this partial list of Japanese role playing games to come out since January 1, 2006, along with their gamespot scores, and make your own judgments. Phantasy Star Universe – 6.8 Enchanted Arms – 7.1
Untold Legends: Dark Kingdom – 6.0
Tales of the World: Radiant Mythologies – 6.0 Final Fantasy: Anniversary Addition – 6.5 Monster Hunter Freedom – 6.5 Valkyrie Profile: Lennoth – 7.5 Blade Dancer: Lineage of Light – 6.8 Valhalla Knights – 5.6 Aedis Eclipse: Generation of Chaos – 6.1 Untold Legends: The Warrior's Code – 6.9 Ys: The Ark of Napishtim – 6.7 The Legend of Heroes II – 6.8 Monster Kingdom: Jewel Summoner – 6.3 The Legend of Heroes III – 5.8 Final Fantasy XII – 9.0 Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 – 8.5 Kingdom Hearts II – 8.7 Rogue Galaxy – 8.0 Odin Sphere – 7.6 Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria – 8.0 Tales of the Abyss – 7.9 Shining Force Exa – 5.3 Suikoden V – 8.1 Shadow Hearts: From the new World – 8.2 MS Saga: A New dawn – 6.5 Grandia III – 7.6 Tales of Legendia – 8.0 Wild Arms 4 – 7.8 Mage Knight Apocalypse – 4.4 Pokemon Diamond – 8.5 Pokemon Pearl – 8.5 Final Fantasy III – 7.9 Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Blue Rescue Team – 5.2 Final Fantasy Fables: Chocobo Tales – 8.0 Inuyasha: Secret of the Divine Jewel - 3.9 Digimon World DS – 7.2 Children of Mana – 5.8 Dawn of Mana - 5.1 Pokemon Ranger – 7.5 Magical Starsign – 7.3 Tao's Adventure: Curse of the Demon Seal – 6.1 Xenosaga Episode 3 - 8.0 Average Score: 7.0 I will pause for a moment to let the full magnitude of that long, disgustingly pathetic list of worthless games soak in. Yes, I admit that there are a couple of gems in the mix, but only a couple. For the most part, if it didn't come from Square-Enix, don't even bother. And I pity the fool who buys an rpg title from Namco-Bandai. That list is absolutely infested with terrible Namco-Bandai games.

The next time I hear a barely literate fan of shooter games complain that there aren't enough good shooter games to play, I think I'm going to print off about fifty copies of that list, soak the entire batch of copies in vinegar, and make him eat each and every one of them. Then he will understand how role playing game fans have felt these last couple of years. (Note: I am not saying that all shooter game fans are barely literate or somehow genetically flawed. This is my jealousy of their generous bounty over the last couple of years spilling over. I'm not biased against shooter game fans. Seriously. Some of my best friends are shooter game fans.)

Now, in the interest of full disclosure I must in good conscious admit that I have not played each and every game on that list. In fact, I've probably only played about one out of every ten. But just like I don't need to taste piss to know that it tastes bad, I can take the word of the generous gamespot editors who have tasted all this piss on my behalf.

Unfortunately, that list above is a symptom of a larger issue. That issue is that the entire rpg genre itself has stagnated. RPG makers in general, and Japanese ones in particular, are churning out the same recycled ideas that they have been using for the past twenty years. Here is the list of what can be considered the remaining quality RPG making developers and my opinion of them.

Tier 1 Bioware: Bioware is king. Bioware is god. Bioware is the only, single, top-tier roleplaying game maker in the world at this time. Bioware, for those of you unfamiliar with the name, brought the world such insignificant titles as Knights of the Old Republic, Neverwinter Nights, Jade Empire, and Baldur's Gate. It is about to bring you Mass Effect. Worship ye ignorant mortals! Tier 2 Square-Enix: Ah, the grandpappy of rpg. This is the maker of both Final Fantasy and Dragon Quest (Dragon Warrior). It is too bad that it feels the need to inflict the world with innumerable spinoffs and remakes of older games rather than focusing on churning out solid new titles in its flagship franchise.

Obsidian: Obsidian is the game developer that companies go to when they get tired of Bioware insisting on finishing their games before releasing them. Obsidian is the creator of such half-finished offerings as Knights of the Old Republic 2 and Neverwinter Nights 2. Obsidian games have great characters and great storylines, if you don't vomit at the glitches, bugs and crashes that come with the game.

Tier 3 Bethesda: Bethesda games are as wide as an ocean and as shallow as a kiddie pool. They are as beautiful as the Mona Lisa, and contain characters that have approximately the same amount of personality and dimensions.

And that's it folks. You have one quality rpg maker, two semi-quality ones, and a maker of semi-rpg games in Bethesda. I would give my left testicle to have Bioware be making the upcoming Fallout 3 game rather than Bethesda, but alas that is not to be. Besides, these days rpg fans resemble a pack of starved beggars. Beggars cannot be choosers. We would riot, but we have no energy to do so. Now here is the part that I don't get, where are the companies looking to capitalize on this obvious gap in the industry? The market for rpg games is there. One needs only look at the sales figures for notable rpg games like Final Fantasy XII and Neverwinter Nights 2, or the preorder figures for Mass Effect, to know that the market is there. So why aren't more companies stepping in to fill the void?

The market is saturated with sports, action and shooter games. There are more games in those genres than a battalion of grandmas can shake their canes at. Heck, the action genre got so saturated that it spilled over into the rpg genre, creating the dubiously classified cross-over genre "action-roleplaying". So why don't a couple of companies go into obviously fertile fields with some more wide-open pastures? Fortunately, I am here to help. My next installment of this two-part series will feature my advice on what the existing rpg making companies need to do to improve (Hint: Not every gamer likes playing 14 year old main characters with anime style graphics), along with which companies I think would make great entrants into the rpg making field.

Edited for formatting and to add "Dawn of Mana" and "Xenosaga: Episode 3" for the PS2 to the list.

Per the request of several people commenting that one set of scores by Gamespot are not enough, I have gone and collected IGN's. Phantasy Star Universe - 6.4 Enchanted Arms - 6.5 Untold Legends: Dark Kingdom - 6.5 Tales of the World: Radiant Mythology - 7.5 Final Fantasy Anniversary Edition - 6.9 Monster Hunter Freedom - 7.7 Valkyrie Profile: Lennoth - 8.5 Blade Dancer: Lineage of Light - 6.5 Valhalla Knights Y- 5.3 Aedis Eclipse: Generation of Chaos - 6.9 Untold Legends: The Warrior's Code - 6.9 Ys: The Ark of Napishtim - 5.6 The Legend of Heroes 2 - 6.1 The Legend of Heroes 3 - No Rating at IGN that I could find Monster Kingdom: Jewel Summoner - 7.1 Final Fantasy XII - 9.5 Persona 3 - 8.3 Kingdom Hearts 2 - 7.6 Rogue Galaxy - 8.7 Odin Sphere - 8.8 Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria - 8.5 Tales of the Abyss - 8.3 Shining Force Exa - 7.0 Suikoden V - 8.2 Shadow Hearts: From the New World - 7.8 MS Saga: A New Dawn - 6.2 Grandia 3 - 7.6 Tales of Legendia - 7.7 Wild Arms 4 - 7.8 Mage Knight Apocalypse - 5.4 Pokemon Diamond - 8.5 Pokemon Pearl - 8.5 Final Fantasy III - 7.8 Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Blue Rescue Team - 6.5 Final Fantasy Fables: Chocobo Tales - 8.3 Inuyasha: Secret of the Divine Jewel - 4.0 Digimon World DS - 7.5 Children of Mana - 8.0 Dawn of Mana - 6.5 Pokemon Ranger - 7.1 Magical Starsign - 7.5 Tao's Adventure: Curse of the Demon Seal - 4.0 Xenosaga Episode 3 - 8.0 Average = 7.2 As one might expect, with such a large sample size the actual variance between Gamespot and IGN is quite small.

No, I am not talking about blogs. As much as I sometimes get envious of the brilliance of people like Bozanimal or Wootex, I know that more blogs = better where people who like reading is concerned. No, I refer to Highlander of course. Anyone who hasn't at least heard of Highlander has probably been living in a cave the last decade or in Iraq. The two are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Here is the original Highlander. Why do I bring this up? Well, I bring this up because it occurs to me that this would be a damn good video game. Why, in the immortal words of Nicky boy Cage, by Zues' Butthole has this not happened yet? (And no, this does not count as the large, gaming related blog that I promised in my earlier blog post today. It is just a random thought I had while watching Season 6 of the Highlander TV show today on DVD.)

Yes, the Chilidragon and I are back home at last. Thanks to everyone who wished us well with the problems we encountered. Your support was really comforting at times. Now then, I originally had thought about doing a long blog post that told of all the trials, tribulations, successes, laughs and tears that we encountered on our long, strange journey. It would have been a human interest story to captivate the world. And then I remembered two things: 1. I'm lazy 2. People come to this site because they want to talk about, read about, and hear about, gaming related stuff.

Because of these two things, I believe that I am in great debt to all my readership. I shall shortly (within a couple of days as I recover from what has to be the largest case of jet lag in history) be whipping up a large new blog post about something gaming related (don't know what yet, so suggestions are welcome) that will make excellent reading material as you're sitting on the can squeezing out that little brown baby.

Adieu, adieu.

Hello folks! Wow, thank you all for the great comments on my final blog post from before I left. I didn't have a chance to read them before I left, but I have had a chance to read them since. Needless to say, some of you will be punished severely for your impertinence upon my return to the U.S. Others will be rewarded in a suitably royal and generous manner. Well, I am now a married man. It is a slightly odd feeling that I am still adjusting to. I don't feel quite as different as I thought that I would, though that may have something to do with the fact that I was living with the woman I married for nearly three years before I married her. I will go into more detail about my trip upon my return, but in the meantime, I thought I'd post some very quick thoughts about what's happened to me while I've been away. The ChiliDragon is here with me and will no doubt smack me if I say anything too personal, so consider this the T for Teen rated version rather than the much funner M for Mature rated version. Sweden 1. Chili's family was great I admit that they were overwhelming. There is something very frustrating with having to be on your best behavior before nearly twenty extremely nice and courteous strangers for nearly a week before one of the most important events in your life. It would sure have been nice to be allowed the luxury of being an a-hole or losing my temper or just somehow not being a model citizen 24 hours a day seven days a week leading up to this monumental event. In other words, it would have been nice to blow off some steam. But sadly or perhaps fortunately, Chili's family never gave me sufficient opportunity. They were nice and welcoming and sweet. It is a wonderful gift to be joining their family. On the other hand, they have a truly aggravating sense of humor at times. (More on that at a later date.) 2. The wedding itself was nowhere near as stressful as everyone portrays it as being. It is an odd feeling when you're the one getting married and you're the calmest person in the room. Everyone looks at you a bit funny. I got more "are you sure you're aware of what you're getting yourself into" style hints and glances in a week than I've gotten since I started dating this hot, loose, b****y girl in high school. *gets smacked by the new wife* 3. Swedish wedding receptions are long. VERY LONG. I've experienced weddings American style before. Several of them, for both old people and young people. I've never been at a wedding reception that went on for over seven hours before. Those were seven extremely long hours. Remember earlier comments about having to be on your best behavior in front of new family members? I inherited my mother's patience unfortunately. But I maintain that seven and a half hours is a very, very long reception. 4. On the other hand, that was some damn good food. Although, what's with the dill and onions that Swedes feel are part of the four main food groups?

5. And whomever heard of putting a lemon in a rum and coke?

6. After the reception, Chili and I went to our room together and we proceeded to *CENSORED* and then we *CENSORED* and after that we *CENSORED* and of course we didn't forget to *CENSORED, CENSORED, CENSORED, CENSORED*. And then we slept. Spain 1. Wow it is beautiful here. The weather is shockingly nice. I could get used to this if not for one tiny little detail... 2. Nobody speaks English. I don't mean nobody speaks good English. I mean nobody speaks any English. I mean that even the people who work in the tourist information office in the international airport doesn't speak it. The bus drivers don't speak it. The bus station ticketing agency doesn't speak it. The hotel staff barely speaks it. The police certainly don't speak it...and that became a big problem later on during our stay here. More on that in a minute. 3. I've long thought that the description on movies and games with regards to nudity is inadequate. In my opinion, these warning labels should include some description of the nudity involved. I don't think any of my readers will argue that they would much rather see Chili's naked boobs than my excessively hairy hindparts. I mean, who wouldn't? But when I got to the Spanish beaches, my first reaction was Holy Beautiful Bouncing Boobies Batman! Yes, that's right. Americans know, or many know at least, intellectually, that Europeans do not have quite the same taboos against nakedness that we sheltered Americans have. Naked boobies everywhere around the pools and on the beaches. Fortunately, the Spanish people seem to be a bit more self-aware than Americans. I've been to American nude beaches, and you get some decidedly bad naked to go with the good naked. Not so here in Spain. The topless that you see here is all good naked. More on this subject when I get back home. 4. This is a very, very, very, very loud country. I'm from America. We invented loud. Actually, I think the Greeks invented it when they invented parties, but we Americans perfected it. (USA! USA! USA!) At least that is what I always thought. I was wrong. Spaniards are louder and their cities are noisier than anywhere I've ever been. And I've been to New York, Chicago and Los Angeles. 5. Lost passports and green cards are a large issue. Yes, that last note brings us up to the current situation that Chili and I have. Chili has either lost or had stolen her wallet that contained her driver's license, her green card, and her passport. This is a huge issue in a country where nobody speaks a damn word of the most important and widely used language in the modern world. Fortunately, through consultation with the local Swedish Consulate (Very helpful) and American Consulate (Bunch of rat f*****g bastards), we've managed to secure a temporary passport that will at least get her to be able to come with me back to Stockholm on our return path, and that is where we are stuck. The U.S. Department of Homeland Security will not accept a temporary passport to get her into the country. We're going to try and get a new permanent passport for her in Stockholm, but she may be a bit delayed coming back home with me. Stay tuned and wish us well.