CAPE CORAL, Fla. (AP) - A woman arrested for shoplifting has blamed the crime on irritable bowel syndrome, authorities said. Helen Gallo, 61, of Clearwater, was arrested Sunday after allegedly shoplifting from a Cape Coral grocery store, The Daily Breeze of Cape Coral reported.

Gallo told the authorities she couldn't wait in line due to irritable bowel syndrome. She's being charged with petit larceny and was released Sunday from jail on a $500 bond. If she's telling the truth about having IBS, why didn't she just leave the items at the store?

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2007/04/17/4045753-ap.html

A known fact from our experiences is that toast always lands butter side down. We also know that cats always land on their feet. Let's start taking advantage of this!

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What a nice night for an evening.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface.

On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.

The world's full of apathy, but I don't care.

Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.

Prejudiced people are all alike.

Those who judge others will burn in Hell!

Exaggeration is not all it's cracked up to be.

I'm still not sure if I understand ambiguity.

There's no such thing as nonexistence.

Cooperation can only be reached if we work together.

As far as I'm concerned, treachery will sometimes bring loyalty into question.

It doesn't matter what temperature a room is; it's always room temperature.

Avoid cliches like the plague.

Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

I always try to do things in chronological order.

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

Death to all fanatics!

An oral contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Don't chew [or eat] with your mouth full.

It's deja vu all over again.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!

I always wanted to be a procrastinator!

Rehab is for quitters!

Don't be redundant by repeating yourself.

Some people type so fast that forget to include

I am becoming increasingly worried that there isn't enough anxiety in my life.

I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.

Free advice is worth what you paid for it.

Entropy just isn't what it used to be.

I keep telling myself that I am a pathological liar, but I am not sure if I believe it.

Not only am I redundant & superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness otherwise it's hard to tell if someone is inconspicuous.

He doesn't have much of a reputation, or so I've heard.

I disagree with unanimity.

I have my doubts about disbelief.

Avoid Alliteration. Always.

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

I always wanted to be a procrastinator... never got around to it.

Freedom of speech is overrated.