Yes, 5 years ago on this very day I signed up to Gamespot, but thats not what this is about. Its about the fact that I signed up on my birthday of all days. Seriously, how pathetic does one have to be, that they have nothing better to do then to sign up to a gaming website ON THEIR BIRTHDAY!!!! Ugh, I feel like I want to put a shotgun to my mouth and pull the trigger. Think of this though, whats more pathetic? Signing up to a gaming website on your birthday, or talking about signing up to a website on your birthday, ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?!?!?

But, Im thinking that I'll be making up, for the fact that I will be haging out with friends at a stripclub Saturday. So I guess It isnt all that bad.

I turn 24 by the way.

Yes, this is sort of about the firing of Jeff but more or less America in general.

America, the land of free home of the brave, no longer applies in today's world. In this day of age of high speed internet getting information has never been easier. Google dominates the web searching engine, You Tube dominates the user video library, and Myspace is the best way of keeping in contact with old friends and making new ones in the progress. All this at your fingertips and a few click away.

Everyone in this entire world has an opinion about something, but not everyone has the option to express that opinion in public. Think about it, when was the last time you could stand out in front of a store and tell people not to shop there without getting arrested? When was the last time you could stand out in front of the Whitehouse and tell Dubya that he sucks a big fat one without secret services bashing your head in? When was the last time you just straight up said to a person you don't like them simply because of their race, religion, etc, etc, etc, without getting smacked with a lawsuit or the very least punched in the face? If you have said "never" to any of these, that tells you 2 things, 1. Everybody has turned into a bunch of fems and cant handle someone's else's opinion and more importantly 2. Your speech is no longer free.

So where can one turn in this time of need? THE INTERNET! [40's voice guy] Yes, the internet, the information super highway. The internet, where you can call somebody a name and they can't punch you. Yes, the internet, where you can be a racist bastard and not get prosecuted by Rev. Al Sharptan or Jessie Jackson. The internet, were you can bash Dubya and not get thrown in prison. THE internet, where you can surf for free porn!! THE INTERnet, where pedo's can find under aged kids to have sex with but only to find out that......

"I'm Chris Hanson from Dateline NBC. Why don't you take a seat."

.....ohh, ****!!![/40's voice guy]

Yeah, something like that.

So, with this recent news of a firing of a critic from an internet website, is the internet really a true form of free speech anymore? I answer, yes, but that is slowly becoming restricted by the government and being bought out buy the corporations....case in point.

I really have nothing to say about Jeff being fired, he did his job, he gave his opinion. Edios fathead didn't like it and bought off Gamespot to fire Jeff.

Money is power people and it's always going to be like that until you learn to stand up for what you believe in and get a group behind you that is just as passionate about it as you are. Example, be it a bad one, the Phelps Clan. They stand up for what they believe in, and they garner, not national, but WORLDWIDE press about it. True they do spread a message of hate but they are determined to spread it. I don't want to end this blog on a low note like the Phelps' so, moving on.

Unlike most people, Jeff's firing is not going to lead me to cancel my account or spam the forums with a bunch of BS. Stuff happens; people get fired all the time. Yeah, it's a real lame how he lost his job but people have been fired for less. He should be so lucky.

About 2 months after I lost my job , I got a new job as a janitor at the local middle school, I say "the" because it is THE only one in my town. That only lasted a month though as I was the new guy and didn't have the right connections to keep my job. So, I got laid off. This post is not about that job though. 2 weeks later I signed up with a couple of temp agencies. One of them found me a job right away working as a grounds keeper for the rest of the summer. Being a grounds keeper for those 6 weeks was probably the single GREATEST job I ever had.....but, alas, this thread is not about it either.

I could talk about the other job I had after being a grounds keeper, where I worked at a printing company boxing up winter cards for Hallmark. Seeing the same stupid polar bear and his bowling pin shaped penguin, sledding down the hill, almost crashing but he doesn't because thats where the hologram on the card ends. You'd wish, YOU'D WISH, though, that just once, a tree branch was in the right place at the right time, and when that stupid polar bear jumped once more, his head would land 10 feet back from his body. I digest though, and alas, this post is also not about that job. Although on many occasions I have wanted to stab my chest multiple times while working there. Again, I digest.

This is about the job I got recently, last Wednesday 10/31 in fact. The place that hired me...was the same place that fired me not but 7 months, 12 days, 6 hours, and some odd minutes earlier. You ask yourself though, "How the hell did this happen?!?" Well....if you even read my post up to this point, you might be asking yourself this question.....or not. How the hell do I know what you are thinking?!?!

In the 7 months I was away from that place, the company name was changed to something different. My dad made the suggestion, "Out of curiosity to see what would happen.", that I apply there and I did so via online. I just left out the part where I got fired from there or even worked there for that matter. A few days later while looking in the paper for a job, I saw that they were having a career fair at a nearby workforce center. I went in, filled out a application, did a typing test, then waited for a interview, and waited, and waited, till they finally called my name.

The interview went reasonably well, I pretty much bs'd my way through the whole thing. Gave out fake stories, fake situations, fake everything. Then she asked me if I have ever worked for them in the past or any affiliate of them, then she listed off all of the other companies associated with them. One of them was the company that I got fired from. However, I look her straight in the eye and without skipping a beat, breaking into a cold sweat, or batting an eyelash, I said, "No." She explained what they did there, then what I would be doing. After all of that, she just flat out offered me a job, and I went ahead and took it. I went ahead and filled out all the forms, signed the necessary documents, and walked out with a grin ear to ear.

Now given the past nature with me and this company, I'd figure that they would find out who the hell I was, and that lied right to their face. So I just waited for the phone call saying just that and that I couldn't work for them.

The rest of Wednesday passes: No phone call.

Thursday passes: No phone call.

Friday passes: No phone call.

The Weekend: Get stupidly wasted for the fact that I will have to start working again on Monday, and still no phone call.

That brings me to today.

They know that I have worked for them in the past, they just don't care. I know this because I got my old badge back, the one I had to turn in when I got fired, so I can enter the building. On top of that, I am right near where I used to work in the building, so I got to see a lot of my old co-workers and supervisors. I even saw the supervisor that got me fired and she saw me. In that moment, I had a sense of....victory. When she became my supervisor, she did everything in her power to get me fired, and she succeeded. Here I was though looking at her straight in the eyes, and knowing that she can't do a thing to me now, I get a sorta sick satisfaction out of it.

I finally left my job on March 19.

I feel f'ing great too.  I dont have a new job yet but I got the unemployment checks comming in so im not too worried right now.  It just got to the point where I couldnt stand it anymore and I just couldnt wait for another job, so I left.  One main thing Im looking to doing is joining the military, mainly the Air Force.  Im going to talk to a recruter on Friday to see what my options are.  If I have to lose more weight, so be it.  The way I look at it, its my best option.  The pay is great, the benifits are awesome, and they pay for EVERYTHING!

As of right now though, I just need to get a temp job to bide my time.

Sorry its been so long sense I made a blog post.  My birthday is in 4 days, so for the weekend my friends are taking me to a stripclub, and drinking.  I know Ill have fun.

So, for the past 2 and a half weeks I have been going through the suffering of having to take care of my toe. Last night was the last straw.

I peeled that nail back just to see how much I could and surprisingly I could lift it all the way up except for the left side that was still connect to my cuticle. After tugging at it for 15 minutes, hoping it would just slide out, but it didn't, I said "F**k it!" I grabbed a hold of that little bastard and pulled. The nail came off along with some skin and of course bled....yey blood.

I take it to the sink, wash it out, and then put some hydrogen peroxide on it to clean it out. Then I spent the rest of the night periodically looking at it, gagging, and thinking "That doesn't look right."

Ill post pics tonight if I remember, but this calls for a celebration.  Alcohol for me tonight!!

Did it on Monday, and hurt like hell. I didn't cry or anything but I spouted out a line of cusswords that would even make a sailor jealous. Its all black underneath the nail and a little around too and is starting to come off already.

The only other time I had a digit smashed was when I was 6 and it was at a skating ring. It was my index finger on my right hand. I don't remember how it happened, or how bad it hurt....hell I don't remember anything about it, but for the simple fact that it happen.

Anyway, tonight after work I'm going to the doctor to get it checked out see if its broken. Maybe they can get it over with and just pull the nail out and give me some pain killers that will make me so happy I wouldn't ever care if they stabbed me in head. Or relive some of the pressure built up in it. Either way, I'm looking forward to a long journey ahead of me.

Edit: Update, alright my toe isnt broken and....ummm....thats it.

Ok so, I just had a long talk about all the bullcrap happening in the world and in my life and crap....and I think I need a therapists to help me with all my crap.

Now...I always thought that a therapists was somebody that helped all the crazy peoples, but I think that therapists are the only ones that can help me with all the crap that I go through in my life.....and maybe I would have to result to alcohol or pot to help me with all my lifes problems.

I mean, going into all the bullcrap with what I went too highschool, Im surprised that I havent killed myself by now.  Im sure that my writing has helped me through it.  But its like all this bullcrap that I go through highschool and everone has been ther for me and I have nevered asked for help.  Then all these year building all of this rage up inside of me and I cant help but feel so pathetic.  Like im a peice of s**t motherf**ker of the world would make anyone feel like s**t.

I had a talk with my friend tonight....and I realize how much of a psycho I am.  I mean I have deep psychological issues that I need help to solve out and it has open my eyes.  Im not a cereal killer or anything but I have emotional issues that I need solved and I see no other way to solve em.

Sigh, this sucks.  I thought I was perfectly saine....but now I know, I must get help.  I will keep you guys updated on whats up with this situation.

Until then, stay safe, saine, and hope to god that you find yourselfs in the most time of need.

Well, what can I say.

First off, I didn't take the job. I was offered the job, but I didn't want to work on commission because, lets face it, I have a crappy work ethic. Plus the guy was selling his bulls**t way to hard. So I basically told him to f**k off.

I have been destroying my brain a little more every weekend with all the drinking I do. This past weekend I saw Soulfly, of course, they rocked the house. The first band that came on sat over next to my friends and I. We were talking to them, I bought them a few rounds and I was talking the the bassest.(cool guy) I got totally blitzed at the concert and could barely stand by myself, I was hanging on one of my friends all night. The next morning I was sore from all the head banging and jumping I did...still am actually

Sunday, I saw Little Miss Sunshine, such a awesome movie. I recommend it to anyone.

Anyway, I have October to look forward to. Got my Mnimic and Soilwork concert to go too. Then Halloween, I'm going to dress up like a banana. XP

For the past few months I have been putting in job applications. Finally last Friday I got a call from one of the companies that I put in a application for to set up for a interview. The crap part is, is that I don't even know what the hell I applied for there. Its for some insurance company I know that much, but what I will be doing there, I haven't got a clue.

I scheduled a interview for this Friday 9/8 at 2 pm. I took the day off at my current job that way I wouldn't be pressured to drive like a bad out of hell to get there. Ill probably do a few other things that day, like wash my car, see a movie, get drunk earlier....if I feel that the interview went good and I'm in a relatively good mood.

The main point is, is that nothing would make me feel better then to tell my current job to go "Shove it." There are a few down sides to the getting a new job though. I don't know about anybody else, but I will miss a few of my co-workers but that's why man invented phones and email. Also my new job I will be a complete stranger and have to start all over again, but hopefully it wont take me as long, and I can tell the same stupid stories and it will be new to them. Ill have a clean slate and start off with a good foot.

I don't care if I'm doing the same thing at my new job, if I get paid more, I'm so f'ing there! Not to mention if I get my new job, I'm going to party so hard. For the next 2 weeks, I wont even care if I come in with a hangover at my current job everyday, I'm going to drink till I vomit every night, and then some on the weekends.

Here's to sunnier skies.

Long story short I got 5 days for calling black people something other then black or African American...NO it wasn't the "N" word, like I could get away with that here anyway.... but you know what, I'm not even going to go there, not today. Ill just get pissed off, say some stuff that probably wont look good, and get banned indefinitely.

As far as the flaming goes, it was just some guy that was acting like a big baby, I cant even remember his name. He was taking everything said on the internet seriously and was hitting the "report abuse" button so much in that thread. Blah, it was just lame. LOL, I got modded 3 times in one day.

Up next, my weekly update of what's happening in my life...not that any of you care.