#I am not afraid to keep on living, #

#I am not afraid to walk this world alone #

I am going to use this again, to post random song quotes to describe my mood...

Sooo obviously i havent quit.Instead...im barely going ot be on it ata all/.Thats the difference....Nothing will change you'll still get the same service as beofre :)

See yas

Meh..

   I waste enough time on the comp as it is,so I keep forgetting to do blogs or anything.I mean,I like this site and all,but when only two people care enough to comment it sort of makes you feel like "what's the point?"I don't write them for anyone else I write them for me,but it's nice to feel wanted and I don't ...

   Oh well,maybe I'm also just trying to get attention ,I dunno..

*yells in tunnel*

*EECHHOOOOOOO*

Curses!*pokes echo*

So the point of this is..I might quit.Dunno yet..

DUN DUN DUN!

Urrr..

.I went to a model town today,which was quite interesting.Plus I got a free sticker.Yay stickers!And my family brought me an ice cream.Mint ice cream!Yay!

And ummm..I'm tired.I want to sleep.....

if you want to see more bloggy ask me or clairey for the linky to my da lboggy...

Emma go beddybyes..

This week I wnet to weymouth beach and watched punch and judy---a british tradition if any of you american come over here you have to see it...I also watched monster house-the film-not half as bad as i thought it was gonna be plus I had popcorn :P And I also bought enough paper to last me forever!

I also got:

snubbed by everyone

Wrote stories

slept.A lot.

stayed up for hours on the comp.

Bought FOB (fall out boy) cds.

Wen swimming

Etc

See ya next week!

Okay,so I've been moaned at for doing too long blogs,so I guess this will be a bit longer than the previous one,but not too long!In that makes sense...

Okay this last week has been pretty much the same.On thursday I made cakes!rock n roll

So I might actually do something useful before the summer is over...Watch this space./

Unfortunately cos im always at another relatives i can't post as much as normal-only once a week normally.Sorry!

...

Here's a quick catch-up in case anyone cares-not...

Okay...this week I have done nothing except sit on my sofa and write or watch tv.

Last week I went to a strawberry fair and ate strawberries all day...But apart from that same as this week.

Congratulations..

I have the most

a)lonely

b)miserable

c)boring

life of anyone on this planet...ever...

Yay me!

Ok,so it was my birthday on tuesday :) So i got some great gifts,and had a nice meal.I also went  to the oceanarium and cinema,cos its activities week ( basically 3 days in which you can pick what you do)and i enjoyed it.Apart from the hour we were waiting cos they lost a teacher.Like,gawd!It was my brithday and I was sitting in a boiling hot coach with nothing really to do.Eventually they found her,but every time we got of the coach or went to another place or even walked from one point to another,we had to get in a line and could only move when the teacher had called your name.It was enough to scream....I think the teacher was an ex army person,i was surprised she didnt make us do pushups!

So anyway,the fishies were really pwettyful.I liked the stinyray,the shark,the fish that looked like nemo and the fish that looked like dory.Yay fishies!lolAnd then we went and sat on the beach to eat lunch.It was the hottest day of the year so it was hard to find a place on the beach that wasn't boiling hot.We ended up under the shade at this lifeboats staff roomy bit,and after i'd eaten I tried to make a pile of sand tower.(YES I AM IMMATURE!)and I nearly cut myself on a piece of broken bottle.So that beach is now evvvvviiill...

Then we startd trugging along back to tower park.We saw pirates of the caribbean 2,which I hadn't seen yet.We were i n probably the worst seats ever,in the back left rammed in the corner,althrough me and tanya (friend) could see everything.Only tanya tried to ruin the film for me,cos she'd seen it before!She kept talling me what was going to happen,then she told me the damn best part,but I didn't believe her,then i found out it was true.Noooooo.../We got back quater of an hour early (yay)and so i could moosh around 0opening cards are presents and stuff.I have quite a bit of cash so I want to go to the shops,but no-on will go with me (sniiiifffffff)and vouchers and stuff.I also got a guitar (which I love!!),an digital camera ( a lil practise one that i have no clue how to work) cds,a cute cat book,hair straightners (not a whole load of point as i have neary traight/wavy hair)mr and mrs smith dvd 9awesome film)guitar book,jewellery,fair trade stuff (which is good cos youre giving people a fair wage!yay helping people!)and some other stuff.I lovveed clairey's present-she knew I really wanted something and couldn't find/get it so she got it for me along with a great necklace!I liked Michelle's present too of course..yay highlighterness (opyright to claire)Talking about claire (and highlighters too)I have missed her fairy presence..I haven't spoken to her since Tuesdy due to a rpoblem and this week I wanted t ospeak to her!Oh well,I guess she's back now,which is good!After the oceanarium and cinema I had a meal with my family.I had a cheese and bacon burger (this wasn't like burger king this was poosh!lol)and a strawberry shortcake sundae,so i FELT REALLY SICK,THEN i DECIDED TO CARRY MY PRESENT IN FROM THE CAR.It was really heavy!I'm not kidding.I'm not exactly a weakling (just short and fat) but it seriously felt like it was full to the top of bricks!I managed to get it in,then opened it and stared at it.For an hiur.I'm not joking.Its black and white and it rocks soooo much!I felt alot better!Then I was really tired so I went to bed early..Interesting this is,I know.

Okay now we're onto Wednesday (this was gonna take a while I have alot to get through and haven't been on comp in a while)You can quit reading this if you want to!I hitched a ride with my family,so I thought I was going to get to school early.How wrong I was...I was ten  minutes late,althrough it didn't matter cos it wasn't proper lessons.I was doingbeading,which was a hell of a lot better than i tohught it was gonna be.i made a kind of surfer necklace,with shells and stuff,a pretty purple one,and a pretty purple one along with a blue and purple bracelet and tortise earrings.It was so quiet at school.Everyone was having different time breaks so at break me and Tanya was just sitting around in empty playground.But still,we had maltesers and got to make pretty patterns with beads,which is "very clensing for yuor soul" I made that bit up yay!We were queuing op for lunch (Actually it was my mate queuing up but she hates going to lunch alone almost as much as I hate eating the canteen food apart from chips and those potato balls)and the drama teacher (very dramatic and pretty weird)yellled at ud and another teacher to get out cos (her drama group was practising )I mean,its our lunch time,and if we actually want to get lunch,we are allowed to be in the hall!We were allowed to leave early,but I forgot my drink bottle,so I had to go back,and by the time I  then got out,it was the normal time.....grrrr...After it was so damnhot I tried to hurry home bu tthe faster I walked the hotter it got.By the time I got home I was nearly melted.I opened all the fdoors and windows,turned on the fan full blast and just wilted!

Okay we are onto Thursday,today,now.I can hear you say finally,so theres no use pretending!I had to get up early,annoyingly,and I still was only just on time so I must have fell to sleep and not realsie it.Very weird...We were doing nail art,which was pretty cool,even through i'm not the most girly girly girl ever ( I never wear dresses or skirts and will only do on prom and wedding time)and bite my nails.A lot.But we learnt all these techniquey things,and practise patterns and shapes and designs on  false nails stuck on lollypop sticks.I am not really all that good at apinting nails,as normally I don't have much nails to paint.But I kept pracitsing,and I got some pretty patterns.We also got thse free gifts-a cocktail stick to put stars and little gems onto your nails with,two really expensive brushes,nail varnish,nail file,cotton wipes,and a free potato to display these falst nails on!Yay!Apotato!We also did this game where you pick jellybeans out of a pot and the lady asked you questions according to the colour.Then we were just eating loads of jellybeans-never eat liquorice jellybeand they taaste evvvviiilll..After lunch (which was really funny,I'll explain somewhen claire but lets just say that according to Tom Mike's sister is his brother...!lol.) we actually had our own nails painted (which took ages to do everyone)and then magically,marvelously I actually have pretty nails...For once in my life!At quater to three it was finished so we went to find Mike and Michelle,which was in one of the media rooms!Mike had for some weird reason brought a gamecube into school,which was strange,and it was a game with a character called Link,in it and a fighting game.We watched the filmsss they had made (funny as bananas)then played on the game cube,cos to start with Micehelle was getting thrashed.But then she started to catch up,and it started getting funnier and funnier.After that we all ran outside to find Claire,which we did,and thne I waited ages then got home,had some disgusting pasta with mushrooms in it.had a FAB lolly,got on the internet and here I am!

This is the end of the mega message.

Please come again soon.

But not too soon,OR THERE WON'T BE A NEW MESSAGE IN HERE.

Which will be pretty sad,because you'll have toread the old one again.

So come here agian soon,but not too soon.

For the reason which I warned you about before.

This material which you just read may be really boring,really weird,or  a mixture oft he two.

That was another warning

Wait an hour after eating before you go swimming.

That was another one.

Kinda a random one.

Who invented the word random?

Was he called Bob random or something?

I sohuld find this out.

But I don't want to .

To anyone who is not the nicest thry can be to tohers:

HAHA Us mad/geeky/unpopular people we be

a)richer

b)happier

c)not have a grotty job with no pay.

SO HAHA!

gOODBYE.

Reply mucho.

Enjoy..

Hi.I have a problem which is becoming sometihng quite huge,at least to me.Ummm....basically im being kinda bullied.But an now ex-friend.If you want all the backlog i'm gonna give you all the backlog,so you will be fulfilled.Congratulations.At least one of us will be fulfilled.Yes I know you probably don't understand any of this.But its a rant,so I can go off on a tangent,Okay?

 Okay,so lets start wayyyyy backwords.People like claire (in fact only claire) can probably just skip this bit.In fact you can just skip this whole thing,cos you'll know what its all about already.And hopefully by the end of this,you will know as much as people like claire.Yes I know,going off track again.GET OFF MY BACK!

OKay,so lets actually start this time.Okay,an ex friend.Well then,she wasn't the ex part.She was A FRIEND.At least then I thought so.Now,I think that it was a completely and utter sham and she never really liked me and it was all a lie.Certain circumstances (I'M Using long words because i want to,ok?) have led me to believe this,certain circumstances which youwill see soon.

To this day,I still don't know what I've done.If anyone knows,could they please tell me cos I would like  to know.Anyway I feel it was a little thing that exploded.And the past week,basically my life has become hell.I have been insulted with every insult made under the sun,had pencils thorwn at me which left a mark,completely isolated,been unable to work,been unable to eat or sleep properly,and unable to go out or hang around with anyone.And its tearing me apart.I know what you all are tihnking,oh its not too bad,just a little arguemnet between friends.Then you haven't met her.And a "little arguement between friends" wouldn't last since 22nd June until now.Almost a month.

If I was to name everything that had happened I would be here forever.Well why not?Its distracting me,doing this,from doing bad things.Ok,in english,i wasn't able to work most lessons a week ago because she stole the table (yes I know I get that i seem immature) and made sure basically it was impossible for me to work.I have no friendseft AT ALL.I know they will argue back from this and say that they are still my friends,but it sure as hell doesn't feel like it.For weekends at a time,I haven't done anything.Just shut up in my whole four walls alone,completly.Another painful part is my friends haven't defended me from her.They haven't argued back,they've just let it happen at some times agreeing with her.Thats one of the things that hurts the most.

I'm reading this back and I'm finding that yes it does sound extremely pathetic.But I just feel so..weak.So beaten.WHat can I do?She will never give up that much is certain,will never quit,and I have no-one to turn to anymore cos all of my friends have left me.Before you ask,yes I have tried a teacher.Two actually,which spoke to her both on the same day.One after the other.It worked for one day,then it was worse than ever.She then knew it got to me.She then had ammo,more insult than other,in which she could now call me a grass,etc.And again before you ask,I have tried ignoring her.She is impossible to ignore.She is one of those poeple who you can't ignore who get into your head and then destroy it.

She then snuck around,trying to ruin my last day at school by changing my form,yes going back and physically changing what I said I wanted to on the last day by making it sometihng I would be completely alone and hated in.That wasn't nice.I had a feling she'd done that,so I went back too,and changed it back.

Its my birthday on Tuesday.If she wasn't away camping,I would have a nightmaire birthday too.As it happens,Im just going to have a very loenyl one where instead of having anyone that actually likes me around,Im going to have a friend which i know has been secretly talking about me behind my back.Oh joy.Great.It makes me want to not actually get to Tuesday,if you get what I mean.

So I have a number of choices really.Change schools,Change teaching groups,or just leave life.The choices really are quite simple when you think about it,but alot harder to put into practise.But at least I don't have to go thorugh any heartfelt goodbyes beforehand.There is no-one who would care if I said goodbye or  not.

Okay,there is the rant over and done with.What I am going to do now I don't know.See if I get any comments I suppose.If I get none,as I expect,then I know that I am correct,and I can make up my own mind.Whatever that choice may be.

Night.

Emma

Dreams.Everyone has them,adult,teenager or child.And hardly anyone has them come true.You've got to be lucky.You've got to want them more than everyone else.You've got to make those dreams happen.

Regrets.Everyone has them too.Think about it,weather you are 10,20,30,40 you wish you hadn't done something,or done sometihng different.Why not think about it now...What do you wish you'd done?More work or less work?More time with friends,or family?Less time in front of the tv,or mor time out seeing the wrold before its too late?Who knows.Everyone regrets something.UnfortunatelyBy the time for regretting it, it can be too late to make amends,to clear that regret from your soul.