Wow...this is crazy...I haven't been here in moths...almost a year...so, hi :P (you probably don't remember me)

So...I'm on my last high school year, yeah...almost going to college :)

Too many thingshave happened to me in all this time...and I've grown up so much...like, a lot!!! Wish I could explain you how much I've changed, but I can't...the change is incredible :)

So my ex and I are boyfriend and girlfriend again (that means he's not my ex anymore XD) and we've been together for 6 months (well, in september 12 will be our 6th monthanniversary XD), it's been great and really crazy too!!! :P

And the guy I used to be in love with...well, he became everything I hate on a guy!!! REALLY!!! XD...he's my friend...he's a jerk, but my friend...and now he's not bassic in my life, so that's good :)

Mmm...right now I'm on class because I already finished checking tumblr and I can't use twitter here...if I can be honest...that's the reason why I came back, but I'll be coming everytime I come to this class...and maybe some minutes at night in my house :)

Did I tell you, guys that my classes have been at afternoons since I'm on 10th grade?...if I didn't tell you before, now you know!!! :D

Right now my life is still complicating...problems everywhere...kind of a disaster, but...I have my boyfriend, he makes me feel ok and I still have my dream of becoming an actress :)

And now I'm more human than before, I'm more sensitive with the society and everything that happens...now I'm really into psychology and philosophy :D

This year I'm trying to know everything about myself, trying to know me better and deeper and trying to understand life as deep as I can :D

Wish you guys a nice day, hope you're fine :D

Well...yesterday october 28th...Simba (my dog) passed away TT.TT

She was soooo beautiful, amazing...full of love and more and more...she gave us a lot of love, beautiful memories and much more...

But...she got really sick...and there was no other option...we ended with her pain...now she's on heaven with my grandmother.

When my father gave us the news, I was shocked and TOTALLY BROKEN...I started crying a lot and screaming "NOOOOOOO!!!", like crazy (seriously).

I couldn't stop crying...like...seriously TT.TT

I watched ALF with my mother and I slept with my parents in the same bed...because I was TOTALLY TOTALLY BROKEN!!!

She gave us 10 beautiful years we WILL NEVER forget...and this is killing me soooo badly...this hurts so much!!!

I'm missing her already...who's gonna wake up by my side every morning like she used to do? TT.TT

AGHHHHH...I don't know when I'll be fine...I can't describe my pain TT.TT

Well...I guess that's all

Hi people!!!

Well...I'm back after 1 month...it's been a boring and meaningless month...it' been hard also :\.

I've been missing Diego and I can only talk with him on the weekends...and sometimes not in saturday, just in sundays...or there are weekends when I can't talk with him...and sometimes when we talk he acts like a fool and leaves me talking alone and he doesn't return or things like that...I love that guy...like so freaking badly!!! But he hurts me a lot at times...

Anyway...my friend Denisse is worried about me because...I'm the same crazy girl and stuff, but my heart is broken and everything is a disaster...I don't say so many stupid things like before or laugh like before...I'm the same, but I'm so sad and confused that I can't show it...do you know what I mean?...but I don't tell her anything...she has problems too...

And my brother got the laptop I want so much!!!...and mine is a piece of garbage...I might get the one I want...but I need to get good grades on school and I'm worried about that :P

Also I've been addicted to "A Year Without Rain" by Selena Gomez & The Scene and "Memories" by Weezer, I really recommend you both songs...they are the story of how I feel...also Yesterday by "The Beattles"

By the way...I feel weird because some creepy things have been happening to me...someone touching my hair at night, touching my leg or things like that...I don't know if it's a ghost or my imagination...

Do I feel better than before? I'm not 100% sure...I mean I cry some nights...I think I'm not better, I'm just reserving all my feelings...I have no one around to tell my problems and know that person will help me to be fine...because the person who could do that is Diego...and he's gone and I can't tell him anything of this...

Anyway...I'll try to come more often...see you guys

So...yesterday I had my first school day...I just entered to 11 grade...and yesterday was probably one of the worst days ever...

I started to have a weird feeling...like when you miss something too much...but A LOT, I was like about to cry when I was in school and probably this is the worst pain I've ever have...my heart hurts sooooo freaking badly...

Maybe it's because I'm in the worst class room I've ever been in my entire life...with the worst teachers EVER...

There's a teacher that is REALLY scary like...I don't know...the only thing I know is that he freaks me out like nobody else ever did...and he's my math teacher.

Sometimes I think I should have gone to another school this year...

And do yo know what sucks too? Sometimes I'm still looking around me to see if I see Diego (for real) and of course...he's never there TT.TT

I'm feeling too bad...like never before...so yeah...I think somebody should kill me as soon as posible because this is too much painful...I don't know if I can resist this 1 year...

Please please please...pray for me...ask God for some hapiness for me...

See you guys

Wow...it's been a long time since I wrote my last blog...sorry...life isf***ing me too much since some time ago...

Well...have you ever wished you were dead...but you know...like truly mean it?...I never thought I would wish that, but I have...and I do O.o

If you ask me why, well...I have too many problems with my parents and everyday they break my heart more and more...

Today I should be visiting Diego (because he already moved) and my parents didn't let me (that would have made me happy)because it's too far and that s**t...

And I my cousin came and we stayed with him like for 3 weeks or 2...I had a lot of fun...but now he returned to Tehuacan...

I have never felt so alone in my life...it's not like "ohhh yeah...I want to be death because death is awesome" or "I want to be death because I want my parents to learn their lesson"...I wish I was death because I would finally stop suffering, all this pain is probably the worst thing EVER.

Anyway...I'm waiting for my dying day...honestly...I won't kill myself because I don't know if I would go to hell...and I don't want to take the risk and find it out...so let's wait to see if God listen my prayers of going to sleep and don't waking up...

You probably think that I a BIG problem...I do...I have depression (for real), but my parents don't take it seriously...

And this months will be harder...the only person who have truly been with me on the hard moments and makes me feel better is Diego...and he's so f***ing gone...I still can talk with him on the msn...but I want to hug him so freaking badly and I was supossed to be there with him today...I haven't seen him in a lot of days...and I won't see him soon...

I'm sooooo tired of crying this much...I am...and my brothers are not helping me...

Well...I guess that's everything I have to say...I had to get it out of my heart

Hey guys!!!

I haven't written a blog in some days...it's just that I'm busy and I'm not on my best mood yet...soooo...that's the reason.

I've been enjoying this days of school...and this coming week it's the last week ofcla$$es and then exams...so I'm broken :(.

Anyway, the title of this blog it's because I got my first kiss!!! (I can't believe it yet)

I tried to kiss Diego and he said: "what are you doing" and I was really nervous, but I calmed down and I told him that I wanted to kiss him and he said he knew, but I surprised him a lot (and I understand it).

Then we started talking and he said that he doesn't want a relationship right now, that he wants to get focus on his studies and I told him that I wanted my first kiss from him because he is especial and because I feel something real for him, not necessary because I wanted something with him obligatory after the kiss.

Then I was like "Can I kiss you?" and he said "I don't know...can you?", then I got closer with a weird seduction face :lol: and we started laughing and I said: "MAN!!! I'm not good for this stuff".

Then he hugged me and suddenly, I don't know how it happened, but I closed my eyes and I felt his lips on mine and I was like "WOW!!! THAT WAS AWESOME!!!". I didn't kiss him, so there are 2 options, he might have kissed me orwe might have kissed each other.

Then I asked him if he liked it...and he said he didn't feel anything.

So at the end he told me that our relationship won't happen now, but MAYBE SOMEDAY.

Well, see you later guys!!!

Hi everyone

Well, I have to say this, yesterday my friends and I had a sleep over and it's was cool...somehow I had fun...but...I got HORRIBLE NEWS...THE WORST NEWS I COULD HAVE HEARD.

The guy I love (Diego), told us that he's leaving, he won't live here in Puebla anymore, so he won't study on my school anymore.

So I decided to tell him my feelings for him and I did, I said: "I like you" and I asked him if he feels on the same way and he said: "It's not you, I don't know what is that...and it doesn't matter anyway because he will be far away and we can't have a relationship".

My friends think that he feels something for me, but he didn't say it because he doesn't want to hurt me anymore, I don't know...

I feel like in hell...seriously...this is the worst pain I've ever felt...I mean...I want to see him almost everyday and I'll see him just on vacations...or who knows? maybe NEVER!!!

But I can't do anything now...so I'll die because of pain

Bye

OMG HI GUYS!!!

Wow...2 months O.o...I thought it was more time without see you...

Life have been like...hard and stuff...and with surprises...

Do you remember that I left with a lot of problems? Well...problems are still here (sadly), but I might be better...I'm not sure.

I'm already moving on with all this of Pepe...I think I already told you that he used me, he wanted me to be his girlfriend to make his ex feel jelous and be again with her, then he came back and tried to be my friend to impress to my friend Denisse...anyway, I'm feeling much better with all this...

Now...something curious happened...I have a friend called Diego and I met him on 8th grade or something like that, but we weren'tgood friends, now we are and he's like my best friend and then...well...

I started to feel something for him and I think that he feels the same...my friends are excited, but I'm not sure...

I have my happy moments, my sad moments...in one moment he's sweet and he's like almost telling me that he feels something for me with the things he does...but then...he's being like...kind of TOO DEEP.

Everytime I say I'm leaving (just kidding) he says ok...and it hurts me, then I'm like playing with him, like flirting at him and stuff like that and he sees me like STOP!!! and it hurts me too. He's a genious, he gets good grades, so he tells me he wants me to take my own decisions and he says I'm acting like a victim and that I'm too dramatic (that makes me wonder if he's feeling something for me).

But, when I'm sad he hugs me like you don't have any idea!!! It's a hug that makes me forget my problems and makes me feel comfortable...

My friends keep on telling me that he feels something for me...but I'm doubting it...if he does, he's not interested enough or he doesn't feel this feeling as hard as I do...

Right now I feel like I don't feel something for him anymore because he's just too cold sometimes and just too deep...just want to listen him saying "don't leave" or something like that, but things can't always be as you want...

I don't know what he did at the beggining to make me feel an especial feeling, but I want him to make it again...because right now I'm losing my hopes...

Anyway, hopefully something will happen...

In another news...my grades are going down...and I got 74/100 on english and that sucks a lot because it's my lowest grade on english EVER!!!...hate this a lot...so if I die it's because of my grades.

Soooo...guys I'm already back and I won't leave again for a while, my break was enough.

Have a nice weekend!!!

Goodnight and goodbye

Hi guys!!!

Well, my birthday was AMAZING, my friends made THE BEST surprise birthday party, seriously!!! It was a HUGE surprise, I loved it!!! :D

Anyway, I have to say it guys, I'M HAVING TOO MANY PROBLEMS RIGHT NOW!!!

In a little resume...Pepe was using me to get his ex back, that was the reason why he was my boyfriend :cry: and then he used me AGAIN to be boyfriend of Denisse, that's why he wanted to be my friend again, so I could talk in a good way of him :cry:.

I'm having problems with my grades too, I suck at school now, before I wasn't SO bad :(.

By the way, I had kind of a discusion with my friends because of all this of Pepe, I won't lose their AMAZING friendship for Pepe the idiot!!! But I'm kind of...mad and sad because of the discusion and I just feel like I can't talk this problem with anyoneanymore :(.

So, I don't feel good enough to be around here anymore...so I'm not saying goodbye, I MIGHT return on the future.

Meanwhile you can follow me in twitter if you have an account and I'll follow you back (my account is on the description about me :P)

Or you can ask me ANYTHING with or without an account here: http://www.formspring.me/k4r1n417

ANYTHING

So, it's not a goodbye, it's a see you later!!!

Take care!!!

PLEASE keep on contact with me!!! You guys rock!!! :D

Love ya!!!

Hey guys!!!

WOW!!! I'm shocked!!! It's been like a month since my last blog, I can't believe it, that's a lot of time :?.

Well, I've been feeling too lazy for enter on this web site, honestly and I'm having some problems, you know, emotions, grades...complicated stuff.

Sorry if I haven't been commenting your blogs :(. I won't be around here for A LONG TIME, sorry, it's just that right now I don't feel like entering here...SORRY :(.

We still being friends and if you want you can ask me my msn and we can talk :) or check my twitter :D, I'm always there, seriously, I have a twitter since 2 months ago and I already have more than 800 tweets :P.

Anyway, tomorrow february 19th is my birthday and also Chris' birthday, so I guess I'll return tomorrow ;).

See ya!!!