Retro Studios has really come a long way. Back in the beginning of the GameCube era, they were a new developer without any major successes under their belt. Their biggest project, Raven Blade, seemingly floundered in the development stage. Then something crazy happened. Nintendo gave the small Texas-based developer the keys to the Metroid franchise, and in the face of overwhelming scrutiny and criticism, made a first-person adventure starring Samus that kicked all of our asses. Who the hell saw that coming?

Now it's 2007, and with the Metroid Prime trilogy complete, Retro will most likely take a well-deserved rest from the franchise. But where do they go from here? With a solid history of development experience under their belt, will they try to bring back Raven Blade? Is there another new IP that they fancy working on? Will Nintendo give them the keys to another long-dormant franchise, like Kid Icarus? What form will it take?

Whatever Retro does, I'm sure that everyone will be watching closely.

Before I begin, I need to say that it's going to be SPOILERS for Persona 3 from here on out. If you have not played beyond the July 7th full moon and don't want anything spoiled, stop reading now.

For those not familiar with Persona 3 (but decided to brave the SPOILERS anyway--this is your last warning), the game is structured around the Japanese school year calendar. You play a high school student (you name him at the start), who, along with a few others in the school, has the power to summon a Persona to assist in fighting monstrous things called Shadows that appear during what is called the Dark Hour. Much has been made about the Persona-summoning element; it was even referenced in a Penny Arcade comic, but what it boils down to is that the characters put devices that resemble guns to their heads and pull the triggers, emulating the act of a violent suicide without any actual gore or death. The first time you see it, it's an eye-opener, and the game is certainly not subtle in its depiction.

Shocking as that facet of the game is, however, I didn't find it nearly as twisted, or potentially frightening, as an event in the game that takes place on July 7th. Every full moon, a special mission occurs in which the player's party must eradicate a stronger-than-average shadow. In this particular case, the shadow is located in a love hotel, which makes sense, as the shadow in question had been targeting couples. Arriving at said hotel during the Dark Hour, the player finds the shadow in question in the hotel's master suite and destroys it, only to become trapped inside due to the presence of another strong shadow. While investigating the room in search of a way out, the characters examine an odd mirror, and...

There's a very sudden, brief cut scene in which one of the characters, Yukari, is taking a shower.

Huh?

The game transitions back to the main character, who awakens to find himself in a hotel room with fuzzy memories, the sound of the shower running in the nearby bathroom. What follows is a conversation in the player character's mind, as an invading voice tempts him into giving in to his urges. What's particularly shocking and more than a little creepy about this is that the player is given the option (several times) to give in mentally and force himself on Yukari.

As I played the game, I chose every option to allow the character to fight the voice and the urges. Eventually, his mind cleared, and when Yukari (who's mind cleared while in the shower) emerged from the bathroom in nothing but a towel, and awkward scene ensued where she panicked, slapped the player character, and ran back inside, leading to a scene of awkward embarrassment for both.

More than anything else I've seen in the game, this one scene has become a defining moment for how mature Persona 3 really is. For all of its symbolic "suicides", the murders, and everything else, this one particular encounter gives the player a startling amount of control (or conversely, lack thereof) in deciding what direction to take the moment. I don't know what happens if the player chooses to give in to the voice and the urge, though I doubt the situation progresses too far. Perhaps a slap to the face is all it takes for the player's mind to clear, but it's the implication. The thought that "Yes, I'd like to rape Yukari," that makes the event stand out in my mind.

Persona 3 is a game of choices, but it's this choice in particular that has shocked me more than any other so far. In addition to playing hero, the player is also just a normal high school student. He's human, falliable, and just as prone to dangers as anyone else. Though most all of his actions and dialogue are defined by the player's choices, it's because he's the player's avatar that he becomes so compelling.

Last week, I got together with a friend of mine for a nice dinner and chat. I was also able to give her a late birthday present; the DS RPG Magical Starsign. She's a big RPG fan, but she had never heard of the game before. It didn't surprise me since it had largely gone unnoticed upon its release, but I had played into a copy of my own a bit and thought it might be something she'd like.

A week passed, and I didn't hear much from her aside from a brief e-mail on Friday. Then, late last night, I received another e-mail that was a big shock. I won't go into too much detail, as it's a private matter, but sometime during the past week, she had a very painful break-up with her girlfriend whom she had been very close to for several years and friends with for a lot longer. It's not an event that she can even bear thinking about, and the situation is only bound to make things more awkward for the both of them since they have both been involved in the same D&D gaming group with me and a couple of others for the past three years now.

What was very nice to read, however, is that she is starting to pull through it, albeit slowly, and she says that Magical Starsign has been of great help in getting her mind off of things. Despite its very silly nature (half of the characters are named after food), she finds it fun, and surprised me a bit with saying that it reminded her in a way of Xenogears. Don't ask me how. I still need clarification on that.

Of course, the game isn't the only thing that's helping her out, but it's really nice to know that a game I picked out for her on a whim turned out to be the perfect choice. Every little bit can help.

If there's one thing I find particularly fascinating regarding the upcoming Super Smash Bros. Brawl, it's the way that the long-dormant characters of Kid Icarus are being treated. Just as an example, here's a picture of Kid Icarus protagonist Pit, as he was depicted over twenty years ago:

And here's a picture of his updated form from Smash Bros. Brawl:

Big difference, huh? He went from being a little cherub dude to something decidedly tougher looking. Not bad. Of course, he's not the only Kid Icarus character making an appearance. Here's another old image, this time of Palutena, goddess and Kid Icarus's damsel-in-distress:

Not bad, though she's been pretty much shunted to the background by Peach and Zelda. Oh, but what have we here?

HOLY ****. There are certain advantages to being a goddess, like being able to dwarf all of the foolish princesses around you.

More than anything, though, seeing Pit and Palutena updated like this makes my desire for a new Kid Icarus game grow even more. I mean, come on, Nintendo. You've already updated two of the main players from the original game. Give Medusa a makeover, hell, maybe even the Eggplant Wizard, and give us a new Kid Icarus already. The wait between Super Metroid and Metroid Prime was long enough. Seeing the characters updated like this is the worst kind of tease. It just makes me feel more than ever that these characters need to return in a game of their own.

Over the past week and change, I've been playing Valkyrie Profile 2. By all accounts, it's a very fun game and something that RPG fans should definitely play, but over the past several days, it's been a slow-going grind.

This has nothing to do with the pace of the game, mind you. For the most part, the game moves along at a fair clip. That is, it moves along until you get a large number of characters in your party. Through the first three chapters, every dungeon has an average of two or so recruitable characters (einherjar), in addition to the storyline characters that join the party naturally. When einherjar characters are boosted to at least five levels higher than their starting level, they can be freed back into the world, relinquishing bonus items as compensation that can be used to boost your remaining characters. Some einherjar, when encountered in the world after they have been freed, will give other bonus items or money after being talked to a couple of times. With the number of einherjar present, you can probably imagine that the game encouages the player to level up and release einherjar at a fairly regular pace.

Additionally, there's an optional "side quest" that will reward the player with two overpowered weapons if two particular story characters are leveled to at least level 40 before the end of chapter three. Bonus.

However, this is where a certain flaw in the game rears its ugly head. The experience distribution is stingy in comparison to the amount of experience required to level. By the time a character is in his or her thirties, the experience required to reach the next level is in the hundreds of thousands, yet even in the latter half of chapter three, most monster encounters will on average give between 30,000-40,000 experience, divided equally among the characters (and that's only if you have a particular item that doubles earned experience at the cost of not earning any cash). At best, a character might receive about 10,000 experience points per encounter, which can make things rather tedious when trying to boost the story characters to level 40. Factor in all of the einherjar that need to be leveled, and things get rather ridiculous.

This is really only one of the reasons why Valkyrie Profile 2 is an inferior game compared to the original. Valkyrie Profile had a very strict time limit in which each chapter needed to be completed, but the the rate at which characters joined, experience was earned, and characters were released was much more structured. The game also didn't hesitate to hand out bonus experience at certain points that could be divided freely among the characters. In Valkyrie Profile 2, barring the extremely rare one-shot experience boost item, the only way to level characters up is through combat. With an active party size of four characters and a roster that might be three times that size, it's a time-consuming venture, to say the least. At 34 hours in, I've leveled the two story characters into their upper-mid thirties in an effort to get the bonus weapons, but it will still still be another several hours at least before they're both at level 40, and that's with sacrificing play time from other characters, one of which is still at level 16. To this, all I have to say is that it's a good thing that the combat system is fun to play. I've been using it a lot.

Free roaming sandbox worlds. Experience-based leveling structures. Cursing at incompetent teammates in Elvish. All of these are common elements in today's video game landscape, yet long before gamers were hopping around like idiots to level up in Oblivion, gamers were killing goblins by the truck load using a twenty-sided die. I speak, of course, of pen-and-paper games like Dungeons & Dragons, which due to their inherently freeform nature are able to provide moments of entertainment exceeding even the most awe inspring video game due to the virtual medium's inherent coded barriers.

It is with this unnecessary pomp in mind that I share with you all quite possibly the single most ridiculous moment I have ever experienced in any game, be it with a die or a controller in my hand.

The scenario:

In a D&D 3.5 campaign of a friend's design, my party members (a cleric, a barbarian/ranger, and a mage) and I (a bard/crystal hunter [custom class designed by the DM]) enter a tower in search of a particular artifact when we encounter a demon of classic design, with long horns, red skin, and a generally snarky disposition. The demon is standing atop a large pile of human skulls stacked in the center of the chamber. Combat naturally ensues.

After several rounds of back and forth, including toasting the barbarian with a fireball to destroy a host of demon decoys, my character runs up to the bone pile the demon is standing on and casts Ironthunder Horn in an attempt to jostle the monster from his perch. Unfortunately, it doesn't work. After another snarky comment from the demon, I indicate that my character, Rogan, undoes his fly and takes a piss on the bone pile, just to show the demon that he's not scared of him.

On the following initiative pass, the demon, now invisible goes first, and drops down next to Rogan and attacks him with his claws and teeth. Rogan, going second, attempts to attack the demon back with a luck blade (a weapon with a special luck attribute). Unfortunately, I roll a 1, a critical failure. Using the luck attribute, I take my alotted once-a-day reroll, rewind time Prince of Persia-style, and attack again. Once again, I roll a 1. God damn it.

At this point the demon makes another snarky comment, at which point I counter by jokingly saying that "I slap the demon with my dick."

I had no intention of actually having Rogan doing so, but the DM egged me on and had me roll a jump check. I roll a success, and Rogan jumps to the precise height required. The DM then says that I can roll to attempt the cock-slap, but that the only way I could possibly succeed is by rolling a natural twenty. D20 in hand, I roll the die.

"I rolled a twenty."

The entire roomful of players immediately explodes into laughter as Rogan manages to pop the demon across its invisible face with his junk after the DM failed the percentile roll that would have allowed the invisibility effect to allow him to avoid the attack. The attack doesn't damage the demons HP, but its dignity is thoroughly shattered. A legend is born.

Yeah, try doing that in WoW sometime. :D

Moero! Nekketsu Rhythm Damashii: Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan 2 is officially on Japanese shelves, meaning that it's only a matter of time before import shops begin getting their own inventory and filling preorders. The original Ouendan and its western spin-off Elite Beat Agents are two of my favorite handheld games, and either one or the other has been entrenched in my DS for most of the past six months, ever since the release of EBA. I hope to have my own copy of Ouendan 2 within the next couple of weeks if all goes well with my preorder, but I thougth that I would celebrate the sequel's release by looking back at what I consider to be the five best stages from each game. Let us begin, shall we?

Elite Beat Agents: Top Five Stages

5. Canned Heat:
Elite Beat Agents was my introduction to the Ouendan mode of gameplay, and for a while, I thought I had it all figured out. Tap, drag, and spin to the music. The stages were challenging, but with a little practice, I could get through them with little trouble. Then Canned Heat came along and delivered a needed blow to my ego. Whatever it was, the tempo, the beat pattern, or what have you, Canned Heat on Cruisin' was the first stage in the game that I could honestly consider devious. I also love those high kicks the agents do towards the end of the stage for that extra level of flash, and hey, any stage with a ninja has got to be cool.

4. Material Girl:
For being a game developed in Japan, the designers really nailed a good parody of western pop culture here. The hapless victims in need are a pair of dimbulb socialite sisters not entirely unlike a certain couple actual dimbulb socialites. The song choice of Madonna's Material Girl honestly couldn't be more apt here. Also, Commander Kahn wears a Hawaiian shirt in the intro for that extra bit of random absurdity.

3. Survivor:
Speaking of parodies of western culture, Survivor is another hilarious one. The stage is actually the last of the unlockable bonus stages, so not everyone that's played the game has probably had the chance to see it, but the story behind it is actually a parody of the stereotypical FPS, right down to the protagonist's muscular space marine frame...only he's a really grim vendor of peanuts forced to fight off humans zombified by some really funky mushrooms. His only weapon? A gun that shoots his ungodly salty peanuts, the only cure for the zombie plague. It's truly one of those moments that needs to be seen to be believed.

2. The Anthem:
Ignore the fact that this stage is set to a song by Good Charlotte, because the game has a way of making even the least popular of the game's song selections work within the context of their stages. The Anthem is no different, as its rapid melody is set perfectly to a battle between a washed-up baseball player and a fire-breathing golem. In a game full of bizarre scenarios, this one is one of the most fantastic of the bunch, and the crazy pace of the beat patterns makes it all the more memorable.

The fact that the agents enter the scene via Elite Tea Cup just kicks ass.

1. Jumpin' Jack Flash:
Jesus H. Christ. If Canned Heat was a simple wake-up call, Jumpin' Jack Flash is like trying to survive in an Ultimate Fighting Championship match with your feet cemented to the floor. This stage doesn't pull any punches and is a far greater challenge than any other song in the entire game, but it's the sort of welcome challenge that's addicting. After reaching this song for the first time on Cruisin', I stayed up late every night for several days trying to master it until I finally managed to take it down with a 1AM surge of adrenaline. Another forumite once said that this was probably the best rhythm game stage of all-time, and that's an argument that I'm inclined to agree with, up to a point.

Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan: Top Five Stages

5. Loop & Loop:
This stage, about a high school student desperately trying to study for his college entrance exams, is the first stage in the game, and by that token, is the stage that introduced everyone to the game. If this stage simply didn't have what made the rest of the game as a whole so attractive and so amazing, it could very well have been that Ouendan would never have become the import sensation that it is, and perhaps not even EBA would exist. That said, this stage has it all, from the student's desperate cry of "OUENDAN!" to the cheersquad's exhuberant, manly entrance, to the kick-ass gameplay that the series is known for. A fitting introduction if there ever was one.

4. Taisetsuna Mono:
The titanic struggle between a fair, upstanding man seeking to be elected mayor up against a scoundrel that brainwashes the voters with purple afros.

Wait, what?

You read that right. Beyond its crazy take on the good versus evil premise, the song is actually one of my favorites in the game, and I can't help but like the poor guy that the cheersquad is trying to help.

3. Atsuki Kodou no Hate:
The third pick was the toughest choice for me. There are too many great stages in Ouendan to pick very easily, and numbers 2 and 1 on this list are essentially locked up. The Atsuki Kodou no Hate stage, which features a new gym teacher having to deal with a homeroom full of rude, gossipy teenage girls, doesn't particularly stand out for any real reason on the surface, but it's one of my personal favorites. I particularly like how the beat pattern towards the end of normal difficulty version emulates the idea of the teacher taking his students for a run around the track.

2. Over the Distance:
After eleven stages of non-stop chaos and absurdity, this stage hit me hard. Shaking aside the manly shouts, the focus is entirely on the spirit of a dead man that wants to see his grieving girlfriend. The way the stage is told and the tone of the music make it a surprisingly touching stage; one that has frequently made my eyes tear up, if not make me cry outright. EBA has a stage very similar to this in tone and nature, and it's also very touching, but if I had to make a choice, I would choose Over the Distance to EBA's You're the Inspiration.

1. Ready Steady Go:
Epic. ****ing epic. Although Jumpin' Jack Flash trumps it in the technical aspect of the beat patterns, Ready Steady Go's stage is one built upon absolute passion. From the introduction that reunites the game's cast as the song picks up steam to the entire world shouting "OSU!" in unison, it's a pure adrenaline rush. With four minutes until an asteroid is scheduled to slam into Earth, the cheersquad pulls everyone out of their panic and lights an emotional fire under their asses to destroy it with pure fighting spirit. The euphoric experience of beating this stage for the first time isn't unlike the euphoria that followed beating Jumpin' Jack Flash. Where EBA is more about staying cool under pressure, Ouendan is about fiery spirit and passion, and the final stages of both games bring these aspects front and center, but Ouendan did it first, and arguably did it better despite its more linear beat structure.

Will the final song in Ouendan 2 manage to live up to Ready Steady Go and Jumpin' Jack Flash? It's obviously too early for me to say, but from all early indications I've seen for the game, all signs point to yes. I'm confident that it won't disappoint.

So how about you? What are your favorite Ouendan/EBA stages?

Pet Peeve: GameSpot's habit of replacing the navigation bar with easy access links to the previews, reviews, and general news items in favor of a red bar with a single link to a lone "BREAKING NEWS" item.

It's annoying, GS.  Stop it.

UPS dropped off my 360 yesterday, fresh from Microsoft's service center.  I plugged it in, started it up, and everything appears nominal, so I'll hope for the best.

Also, it's amazing what thoughts can pop up at random.  For about a minute just now, I was whistling the theme to Super Mario World. 

The Wii has almost been in stores for six months, and has been selling like crazy despite the fact that no one can seem to find them anywhere.  Since it launched, it's kicked dirt in the face of the PS3 after Sony's console stumbled out of the gate and has steadily been closing the sales gap with the 360.  Yet, Super Paper Mario aside, there haven't been any major releases for it since the launch, and the drought doesn't appear to be ending until sometime later this year.  How has the interest in the system stayed so consistent?

That's a question that could be speculated on with any number of answers.  The lower price is driving sales.  People are absolutely nuts for Wii Sports.  No other Nintendo console has ever launched with a Zelda title.  The Virtual Console offers a variety of really fun games that don't cost $50 a pop.  The promise of Super Smash Bros. Brawl on the horizon.

Some of those theories are more valid than others, but at the end of the day, does it really matter which one is accurate?  The simple truth of the matter is that the Wii is selling at a rate that very few expected, if anyone.  The success has blindsided companies like EA, which really only gave the GameCube cursory support with some yearly sports titles and the occasional multiplatform game, and now the company has gone out of its way to establish a Wii-specific development studio.  Third parties are throwing whatever they can onto the Wii in hopes of latching onto the console's success.

Is that necessarily a good thing?  In terms of having more third parties attracted to the system, definitely.  The GameCube was so starved for third party support that I honestly can't remember the last time I purchased a game for it that wasn't published by Nintendo.  On the other hand, this could lead to the realization of the fear that most companies will simply slap some shoddy motion controls onto their multiplatform titles before shoveling them onto the Wii like steamy piles of dog turd.  It's still a valid fear, but in truth, it doesn't seem to have happened to a great extent yet.  Of notable third-party titles I've had the opportunity to play, many of them actually featured Wii controls that were competent, at the very least.  Of the bajillion versions of Madden produced last year, who would have guessed that GameSpot would rate the Wii version as the best, despite its lackluster graphics and lack of online capabilities?  Games like TMNT not withstanding, a good chunk of the third-party support up to this point has been of good quality.

One thing that is for certain is that if the Wii sales continue at this rate, more third parties are going to be chomping at the bit for the established userbase.  The DS went through its own drought, but when the drought ended, it came out swinging, and the PSP has been left so far behind that there realistically no way that it could catch up in sales.  There's no guarantee that the Wii will see similar success, but just because there's a drought now doesn't mean that we shouldstart counting the Wii out for later.  The second half of the year is going to be an interesting six months.