I sit here typing basically because I tossed and turned for an hour without falling asleep, despite how tired I am. I think it might be due to just how much I have on my mind. Some of it is positive. A lot of it isn't positive. Here we go. On Friday, my room mate, Alex, and I received a letter from our land lord saying that if we have one more violation of our lease, we would be evicted. We are walking on thin ice, to say the least. The letter stated that we have had multiple warnings about a number of things, which isn't true. She called us once and left a message while we were at work to complain of various things in the house based on a report from her husband, who paid a visit to the place while neither Alex nor were home. I was at the mall at the time. A friend of ours, Jake, was here using the internet. He did not have the internet where he lived at the time. Anyway, the message she left and the subsequent letter we received on Friday complained of a number of things. Some of it is legit. The biggest problem is that we have had a third person living here for a while, and we aren't supposed to. We kind of took him in because, given his situation at the time, he had two options. Move in with us or be homeless. We decided that we couldn't let him be homeless, so we took him in. Alex called the landlord back and explained this in a message when she did not answer her phone. She never called back after that. We hadn't heard from her since...until Friday. This is a legit complaint. The third party needs to move out ASAP. There were other things mentioned in the letter. It said that a smoke detector was ripped from the wall and placed in the rain. This is not entirely accurate. The previously mentioned third party was having trouble sleeping one night. He got up and was going to make himself some ramen. My room mate and I were both asleep at the time. The smoke detector went off every single time we cooked anything because the ventalation system for the oven doesn't work. It sucks up the smoke from cooking and blows it right back out just below the cabinets over the oven. He took the smoke detector down to make sure that it wouldn't go off. It started beeping when he did this. He could not get it to stop, even when he removed the battery. He put the thing outside, and forgot about it.IT rained after he fell asleep. That was a big mistake on his part. This is true, but it was not ripped from the wall. One of the cabinent doors was broken just before the land lord's husband dropped by. Neither Alex nor I were home when this happened. As such, we cannot say how it happened. Regardless, it made us look bad. We have, since, fixed the cabinet door. Neither the land lord nor the husband have been here since it was fixed. I guess that they just assume that it isn't fixed. It was on the list of complaints. Another thing mentioned on the list of complaints was damage to the walls caused by double sided tape. This one baffles me. When we moved in, I told the land lord that I had a bunch of posters that I wanted to put up. I wanted to know what was ok to use to put them up and what wasn't. She told me to use either double sided tape or thumb tacks. We first tried thumb tacks, but the walls are paster. We couldn't force the tacks into the walls, no matter how hard we tried. We wound up using double sided take. We got all of the posters up, and that was how the husband saw it when he dropped by. I don't know how they arrived at the conclusion that the double sided tape that his wife told us to use had done damage to the walls. This just confuses me. The last thing mentioned was noise complaints. We thought the noise complaints were from the smoke detector going off every time we cooked, but we are unsure of what they might be for, which scares me. How do I know what is too loud when no one has told me that something is too loud or that we are making too much noise? We don't party. We don't turn music up too much. We certainly don't turn music up in the middle of the night. The smoke detector is no longer there (The husband took it). I am afraid to turn movies and video games up beyond the "Just loud enough to hear it without much other noise" level for fear of getting another noise complaint. I don't know who is complaining about noise. I just know it isnt the guy that lives next door. HE told us he never hears us. We spent a good majority of the weekend trying to fix these various problems. We still need a replacement smoke detector, but I took all the posters off of the walls. I took down every single last one, leaving the walls looking boring and depressing. We cleaned, mopped, swept, vacumed and did dishes. We didn't finish the dishes and the third party isn't gone yet *grumbles under breath* I won't get kicked out of my apartment just because your sorry ass doesn't want to leave! If I have any say in this, we move him out after work tomorrow...well...today I guess. Technically. We will go buy a replacement smoke detector and put it in the kitchen. I do not handle being alone very well. When I say being alone, I mean being single. I do not handle it very well at all. I was cheated on about a month ago by someone I loved very much. I still love her despite it. This fact frustrates me. I don't know what to do with myself. I can feel myself slipping further and further into depression. To be sure, the fact that I am single is not the only factor. Stress over a possible eviction and missing my family, friends, dogs and home also factor into this. I don't feel like I am living right now. I feel more like I am merely surviving day to day. I have been suicidal in the past, and I am so very afraid of becoming that again. I feel myself slipping further and further, and it scares me big time. Why do people cheat? I have never cheated on anyone, but I have been cheated on by 3 women in a row. It is extremely painful. You second guess yourself when it happens that many times. You wonder if it is something you do wrong that makes people cheat on you. You get down on yourself. You think you did something wrong. That piles on top of the usual feelings of depression, anger and sadness that follow being cheated on. You spend a while bouncing back and forth between being depressed and being angry. It is so hurtful. It is one of the most painful things you can do to another human being, but it is common in our society. I am going home on the 31st. I will fly out of Harrisburg International Airport to Charolette, North Carolina. I will be there for about 2 hours, at which point I shall fly from there to the Dallas Fort Worth International Airport. I will be home again. For the first time since late July or early August, I will be in my beloved Texas, where I belong. I will be home with my family, friends and dogs. The day cannot come soon enough. I have been longing to go home. It will only be for about a week and a half, but I am going home. I cannot wait. I don't belong in the north. Southern blood flows through my veins and calls me back home. I got a Playstation 3 today. Some of you may know that I was robbed back in June. My next gen consoles (I had all 3) were stolen from me. For a while now, I have been saving money to replace that which was stolen from me, and the PS3 was my biggest priority. It was the console that I played the most. My room mate promised to go in with me to get one. Well, I was at the mall today to get my phone number activated on my old phone (The screen is broken and barely usable, which is why I switched phones in the first place. I switched back because the charger port has gone bad on the replacement phone. IT won't charge. I need a phone that will) when I decided to stop by Gamestop. Why not? The Sprint kiosk is right by the store, anyway. I stopped in, and they were advertising used PS3's for $229. It was the older model, not the new slim line one. I knew I had 220 to spend on the PS3 and asked my room mate if we could get one. Well, they didn't have a used unit there. We went to the EB Games in the mall (Yes. I know. They are owned by the same company. Basically, the mall has 2 Gamestopss. It is dumb. I agree, but I am glad on this occasion). They had a used slim line. It was 40 more bucks, 60 after tax. My room mate went in on it with me and payed 69 dollars of the bill for the PS3. I paid the rest and will pay him back over time. I spent all evening getting it set up and recovering my PSN account and whatnot, inbetween taking down posters. I am so happy to have one again. Next stop? Buy Sacred 2. It was the only PS3 game that I owned that was stolen from me...for some strange reason. I will get a cheap HDMI cable for the system with my next pay check :D I guess that is all that is on my mind as of right now. I am going to go lay down and try to sleep some more. Goodnight all

Ever since I got robbed, I havent really had a computer that could do video based websites such as screw attack very well. Well, that isnt entirely true. After I got out of that god forsalen hotel, I was given a laptop that was capable of it, but it was running Linux Mint, and videos wouldnt play for more than a minute without completely stopping. This laptop, while not great, was capable of it. IT just wouldn't, for some reason. After much frustration and replacing the harddrive in this thing (went from a 40 gig that was slowly going south to a 60 gig that is running fine. I want to put in a larger memory stick), I eventually managed to get Windows XP Pro installed on it, and it is set up how it was when it was brand new. It runs pretty well now.

Anyway, since I last blogged, I moved out of that hotel where I got robbed and in with my brother for about a month and a half. I looked for a job for a while, but wound up formulating plans to move to another state, which basically made getting a job pointless. I wound up moving from there to the Harrisburg area of Pennsylvania. Texas is much better. Just FYI.

Anyway, I have a job up here and my own apartment. I work for Fed Ex Ground for 11 dollars and 25 cents an hour. The pay is good, but the shifts are short (2 and a half hours on tuesday through friday and 3 and a half on monday). I can hold over a few times a week to get more hours if I wish. I am starting to do that to get extra cash. I like the shorter shifts because it will give me plenty of time to go to school in the evenings eventually.

I have replaced my car stereo. It it is working fine, apart from the subwoofers. I do not know why they aren't working. I also replaced my cell phone with an older model. I will ebay a better one eventually because the charge socket on this model has a tendancy to gradually go bad to the point where it eventually refuses to charge. I am looking at getting a Palm Treo. That would be pretty sweet. I also have a replacement PS2, so I can play PS1 and PS2 games on it, and I am in the middle of playing Final Fantasy II. I am using this an opportunity to get caught up on my rather large RPG collection. I have a replacement TV as well. HD of course, and 13 inches bigger than my previous one. Awesome. I have a decent DVD player and a CD player as well, but I still need to buy a PS3, 360 and Wii again. I have 100 dollars saved up for getting that PS3, and I should have both it and the 360 by or shortly after Christmas/New Years. I am so looking forward to playing next gen games again. The gaming computer is a long term goal at this point, but I will get one eventually.

Anyway, yeah. Just a not so quick update what has happened to me in the last few months.