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xTw1st4x

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#1 xTw1st4x

Member since 2008 • 241 Posts

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fatal_hilarity

"In 2005, Brittany Davis, a California resident, is reported to have died while laughing uncontrollably after seeing her boyfriends penis Her boyfriend, Josh Luvis, reported that they were about to partake in sexual intercourse when Brittany starting laughing uncontrollably after he took off his underpants."

:lol::lol::lol:

16 years ago

xTw1st4x

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#2 xTw1st4x

Member since 2008 • 241 Posts

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

-Stolen from a facebook thread. Discuss.

16 years ago

xTw1st4x

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#3 xTw1st4x

Member since 2008 • 241 Posts

First of all my parents are being cheap and they won't turn on the A/C. Also there is no fan in our bathrooms. I live in Florida....it's summer time.....anyways I was sweating like a pig then I was constipated and the dirty toilet water kept splashing onto my butt cheeks...and to top it all off I had really bad gas now....:|

16 years ago

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#4 xTw1st4x

Member since 2008 • 241 Posts

Whatever I'm doing isn't working. Girls are INITIALLY attracted to me, but when they talk to me, they find out how lame I am and they lose interest. I'm not outgoing, have a strong personality, and I don't have a sense of humor. When I try to be outgoing, I come off as trying too hard.

16 years ago

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#5 xTw1st4x

Member since 2008 • 241 Posts

:D

16 years ago

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#6 xTw1st4x

Member since 2008 • 241 Posts

Dude, I just HAD one, Jesus... it's not like it's something that happens every ONCE in a while, I get boners all the time for some reason. I dunno, I was really worried cause my brother was hurt too, but I don't know, whenever I go to the bathroom it is like there is a twig caught in there...

16 years ago

xTw1st4x

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#7 xTw1st4x

Member since 2008 • 241 Posts

why do you guys comment on having a boner for wrestling my little brother...seriously, i'll even feel HIM have one if he has me in some kind of leg lock, it's natural...i mean we are brothers...

16 years ago

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#8 xTw1st4x

Member since 2008 • 241 Posts

I'm in trouble. I was just wrestling with my little brother and we were doing moves to eachother (he's littler than me, so he can't do much), but I wanted to give him a Piledriver and accidentally drove his head down. The problem is that while I picked him up for a Piledriver I had a boner, and when I brought him down his head spiked my penis and sandwiched it with the ground. I may go to the hospital later, cause i'm really hurt, but my mom isn't home yet with a car...My brother is fine though, which is the most important thin.

16 years ago

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#9 xTw1st4x