A Suicide Letter....

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Tauruslink

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#1 Tauruslink
Member since 2005 • 6586 Posts

No it's not mine,its actually written by a programmer named Bill Zeller. "Bill Zeller was a talented programmer whose work we've featured on Lifehacker. He took his own life on Sunday and left an explanation that I think it's important you read."

Bill Zeller

I have the urge to declare my sanity and justify my actions, but I assume I'll never be able to convince anyone that this was the right decision. Maybe it's true that anyone who does this is insane by definition, but I can at least explain my reasoning. I considered not writing any of this because of how personal it is, but I like tying up loose ends and don't want people to wonder why I did this. Since I've never spoken to anyone about what happened to me, people would likely draw the wrong conclusions.

My first memories as a child are of being raped, repeatedly. This has affected every aspect of my life. This darkness, which is the only way I can describe it, has followed me like a fog, but at times intensified and overwhelmed me, usually triggered by a distinct situation. In kindergarten I couldn't use the bathroom and would stand petrified whenever I needed to, which started a trend of awkward and unexplained social behavior. The damage that was done to my body still prevents me from using the bathroom normally, but now it's less of a physical impediment than a daily reminder of what was done to me.

This darkness followed me as I grew up. I remember spending hours playing with legos, having my world consist of me and a box of cold, plastic blocks. Just waiting for everything to end. It's the same thing I do now, but instead of legos it's surfing the web or reading or listening to a baseball game. Most of my life has been spent feeling dead inside, waiting for my body to catch up.

At times growing up I would feel inconsolable rage, but I never connected this to what happened until puberty. I was able to keep the darkness at bay for a few hours at a time by doing things that required intense concentration, but it would always come back. Programming appealed to me for this reason. I was never particularly fond of computers or mathematically inclined, but the temporary peace it would provide was like a drug. But the darkness always returned and built up something like a tolerance, because programming has become less and less of a refuge.

The darkness is with me nearly every time I wake up. I feel like a grime is covering me. I feel like I'm trapped in a contimated body that no amount of washing will clean. Whenever I think about what happened I feel manic and itchy and can't concentrate on anything else. It manifests itself in hours of eating or staying up for days at a time or sleeping for sixteen hours straight or week long programming binges or constantly going to the gym. I'm exhausted from feeling like this every hour of every day....

The rest can be read here:http://gizmodo.com/5726667/the-agonizing-last-words-of-bill-zeller

I think it's important to read this letter because a lot can be learned about what victims of abuse go through. It makes me grateful for the things I have, and I consider myself lucky that I haven't had to go through what he did. Even so, I can relate because I have gone through periods of depression in my life and I can understand where he is coming from. I don't know if any of you will get anything out of reading this letter, but I know I did. Maybe you guys will too.

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HoolaHoopMan

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#2 HoolaHoopMan
Member since 2009 • 14724 Posts
Saw this on the news earlier today, sad indeed.
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-Big_Red-

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#3 -Big_Red-
Member since 2006 • 7230 Posts
How'd he off himself? IF you don't mind me asking.
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cybrcatter

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#4 cybrcatter
Member since 2003 • 16210 Posts

So f****** depressing. :(

I can't even imagine.

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Justinps2hero

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#5 Justinps2hero
Member since 2007 • 2317 Posts
Jesus, that really makes you feel for him. How sad, hope he's found peace now. Rest well distant friend.
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-Big_Red-

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#6 -Big_Red-
Member since 2006 • 7230 Posts

So f****** depressing. :(

I can't even imagine.

cybrcatter

cc showing that he has a heart? WTF is this s***?

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deactivated-5d0e4d67d0988

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#7 deactivated-5d0e4d67d0988
Member since 2008 • 5396 Posts

tl:dr but it is sad. I often visit lifehacker.

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Rutzfuz

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#8 Rutzfuz
Member since 2010 • 1202 Posts

Sad.

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GabuEx

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#9 GabuEx
Member since 2006 • 36552 Posts

I saw this the other day. It makes me sick to think about the thought of someone going through 23 years of that, with not a single ray of hope nor any happy ending at all. :( A tragedy in every sense of the word.

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deactivated-5e836a855beb2

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#10 deactivated-5e836a855beb2
Member since 2005 • 95573 Posts
glad i've never been raped or molested he's like dexter
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Tauruslink

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#11 Tauruslink
Member since 2005 • 6586 Posts
How'd he off himself? IF you don't mind me asking.-Big_Red-
I don't know. But he provides a clue in the letter: "Thanks to the strictness of New Jersey gun laws this will probably be much more painful than it needs to be, but what can you do. My only fear at this point is messing something up and surviving."
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-Big_Red-

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#12 -Big_Red-
Member since 2006 • 7230 Posts
glad i've never been raped or molested he's like dexterJandurin
Ehhh... Not really. Dexter hurts people.
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Bloodseeker23

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#13 Bloodseeker23
Member since 2008 • 8338 Posts
Sad loss. Rip. Depressing indeed.
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-Big_Red-

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#14 -Big_Red-
Member since 2006 • 7230 Posts
[QUOTE="-Big_Red-"]How'd he off himself? IF you don't mind me asking.Tauruslink
I don't know. But he provides a clue in the letter: "Thanks to the strictness of New Jersey gun laws this will probably be much more painful than it needs to be, but what can you do. My only fear at this point is messing something up and surviving."

:?Ouch....
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Ace6301

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#15 Ace6301
Member since 2005 • 21389 Posts
That's pretty sad. Can't imagine what that must be like, poor guy.
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Dark_Knight6

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#16 Dark_Knight6
Member since 2006 • 16619 Posts

And suddenly, all of my problems are melting away. Thanks for the amazingly depressing tale, OT.

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rockinplanes

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#17 rockinplanes
Member since 2010 • 266 Posts
I don't get what was his problem. RIP anyway.
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zoraluv

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#18 zoraluv
Member since 2010 • 8319 Posts

i feel for him but i think he could have gotten help. he was a progammer you say? could have afforded a shrink

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Colin1192

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#19 Colin1192
Member since 2008 • 6221 Posts

My dad knows a guy who tried to hang himself, but the rope was too long and he broke both his ankles

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-Big_Red-

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#20 -Big_Red-
Member since 2006 • 7230 Posts
I don't get what was his problem. RIP anyway.rockinplanes
He was raped... Repeatedly. Did you read the letter?
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rockinplanes

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#21 rockinplanes
Member since 2010 • 266 Posts
[QUOTE="rockinplanes"]I don't get what was his problem. RIP anyway.-Big_Red-
He was raped... Repeatedly. Did you read the letter?

Oh you and your rape boxes...D:
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dunl12496

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#22 dunl12496
Member since 2009 • 5710 Posts

Yikes. :( RIP.

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-Big_Red-

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#23 -Big_Red-
Member since 2006 • 7230 Posts
[QUOTE="-Big_Red-"][QUOTE="rockinplanes"]I don't get what was his problem. RIP anyway.rockinplanes
He was raped... Repeatedly. Did you read the letter?

Oh you and your rape boxes...D:

Must you follow me around attempting to derail threads that I venture into?
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rockinplanes

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#24 rockinplanes
Member since 2010 • 266 Posts
[QUOTE="rockinplanes"][QUOTE="-Big_Red-"] He was raped... Repeatedly. Did you read the letter?-Big_Red-
Oh you and your rape boxes...D:

Must you follow me around attempting to derail threads that I venture into?

HEY you quoted me first.
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-Big_Red-

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#25 -Big_Red-
Member since 2006 • 7230 Posts
[QUOTE="-Big_Red-"][QUOTE="rockinplanes"] Oh you and your rape boxes...D:rockinplanes
Must you follow me around attempting to derail threads that I venture into?

HEY you quoted me first.

Well it WAS good bait.
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cybrcatter

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#26 cybrcatter
Member since 2003 • 16210 Posts

[QUOTE="rockinplanes"]I don't get what was his problem. RIP anyway.-Big_Red-
He was raped... Repeatedly. Did you read the letter?

I see you are very deserving of that 'man in the know' award.

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rockinplanes

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#27 rockinplanes
Member since 2010 • 266 Posts
[QUOTE="rockinplanes"][QUOTE="-Big_Red-"] Must you follow me around attempting to derail threads that I venture into?-Big_Red-
HEY you quoted me first.

Well it WAS good bait.

I can't control it. Leave me alone now, stalker. On topic now: I have had friend who were victims. You can feel how deep they hide some emotions.
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fidosim

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#28 fidosim
Member since 2003 • 12901 Posts
glad i've never been raped or molested he's like dexterJandurin
People who abuse and violate others in this way, especially children, deserve no mercy from God, Allah, Shiva, Zoroaster, Darwin, or whatever being or code you may believe governs the universe. Absolutely disgusting and atrocious. Hope this guy RIPs. :(
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Rekunta

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#29 Rekunta
Member since 2002 • 8275 Posts

Whew....being born into a fundamentalist Christian family and then being molested as a child....and surviving as long as he did? If that's not strength, I don't know what is. This letter is also a great example of why I hate people that think they have the right to judge those who take their own lives. Usually those people don't know **** about hardship and suffering themselves.

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deactivated-6016f2513d412

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#30 deactivated-6016f2513d412
Member since 2007 • 20414 Posts
It's interesting that there haven't really been any rude or negative replies in this thread. Normally when suicide is brought up, so many people are so quick to jump on the "he's a selfish coward" bandwagon, but when you present something so agonizing and human such as a suicide letter like this one, people seem to change their tune a little...or even if they don't, they at least don't express the same cliche (and, in my opinion, wrong) sentiments. Anyway, that is very sad.
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Rougehunter

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#31 Rougehunter
Member since 2004 • 5873 Posts

Whew....being born into a fundamentalist Christian family and then being molested as a child....and surviving as long as he did? If that's not strength, I don't know what is. This letter is also a great example of why I hate people that think they have the right to judge those who take their own lives. Usually those people don't know **** about hardship and suffering themselves.

Rekunta

This indeed. Read the whole letter, makes me feel a lot better about my life.

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-Big_Red-

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#32 -Big_Red-
Member since 2006 • 7230 Posts

[QUOTE="-Big_Red-"][QUOTE="rockinplanes"]I don't get what was his problem. RIP anyway.cybrcatter

He was raped... Repeatedly. Did you read the letter?

I see you are very deserving of that 'man in the know' award.

Meh:oops:. I still can't help but think that raw meant something else when he said that.
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clayron

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#33 clayron
Member since 2003 • 10121 Posts
Story is sad, indeed. But, I can't relate because I've never had to deal with something that horrible. Too bad for him he probably would have done well if he were a writer.
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Will2Live

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#34 Will2Live
Member since 2008 • 526 Posts

This made me start crying, and I'd never heard of the guy in my life. I just want to hug somebody, anybody really, now. :(

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deactivated-5e836a855beb2

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#35 deactivated-5e836a855beb2
Member since 2005 • 95573 Posts
[QUOTE="Jandurin"]glad i've never been raped or molested he's like dexter-Big_Red-
Ehhh... Not really. Dexter hurts people.

if you can't see the corollaries i can't help you
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kayoticdreamz

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#36 kayoticdreamz
Member since 2010 • 3347 Posts
i can sympathize with all that except being raped. i myself almost commited suicide except for what i can describe as something no less than an angel helping me when i litteraly had it timed in 30 minutes im done. i was honestly taking one last look at the world. so i can sympathize quite a bit. and hes feelings arent exactly off either. id say they are quite par for the course and it isnt easy to overcome. and there is a darkness that consumes folks in that boat. most in that boat come to know him as Satan honestly whether you care you believe in him or not one doesnt walk through the very very dark alleys of suicide or attempted suicide and not come to a firm realization that Satan just dragged you there and kicked your head in. however you want to call it darkness or pure evil or Satan. i can relate its a shame and reading that letter brought back some bad memories. but thankfully i crawled out of that hole. honestly i wish i knew him cause ive been in that boat so im sure i could of helped alot
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deactivated-5e836a855beb2

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#37 deactivated-5e836a855beb2
Member since 2005 • 95573 Posts
[QUOTE="rockinplanes"][QUOTE="-Big_Red-"] He was raped... Repeatedly. Did you read the letter?-Big_Red-
Oh you and your rape boxes...D:

Must you follow me around attempting to derail threads that I venture into?

you're in like every thread
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deactivated-5e836a855beb2

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#38 deactivated-5e836a855beb2
Member since 2005 • 95573 Posts
[QUOTE="Jandurin"]glad i've never been raped or molested he's like dexterfidosim
People who abuse and violate others in this way, especially children, deserve no mercy from God, Allah, Shiva, Zoroaster, Darwin, or whatever being or code you may believe governs the universe. Absolutely disgusting and atrocious. Hope this guy RIPs. :(

agree wholeheartedly
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Tauruslink

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#39 Tauruslink
Member since 2005 • 6586 Posts

Whew....being born into a fundamentalist Christian family and then being molested as a child....and surviving as long as he did? If that's not strength, I don't know what is. This letter is also a great example of why I hate people that think they have the right to judge those who take their own lives. Usually those people don't know **** about hardship and suffering themselves.

Rekunta

Yes this is another reason I wanted to share this. So people can understand a little better what its like to be in the shoes of someone who is suicidal and not be so quick to judge.

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Rekunta

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#40 Rekunta
Member since 2002 • 8275 Posts

It's interesting that there haven't really been any rude or negative replies in this thread. Normally when suicide is brought up, so many people are so quick to jump on the "he's a selfish coward" bandwagon, but when you present something so agonizing and human such as a suicide letter like this one, people seem to change their tune a little...or even if they don't, they at least don't express the same cliche (and, in my opinion, wrong) sentiments. Anyway, that is very sad.t3hrubikscube

Yea, I think the reason being is this letter elaborates and goes in-depth as to what pain truly can entail. Kind of humbles people. Most who judge are simply looking at it through their own life experiences without taking into account how bad things can get.

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SoraX64

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#41 SoraX64
Member since 2008 • 29221 Posts
My friend tried suicide, and she ended up in a mental hospital for like two weeks. :( RIP.
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Blu_Falcon37

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#42 Blu_Falcon37
Member since 2006 • 4041 Posts

I think anyone who thinks committing suicide is wrong and selfish should read this letter. No one should have to live with this kind of burden if they don't want to. Makes me feel grateful that I haven't had to live with such a huge weight on my shoulders that I can't get rid of. RIP.

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rockinplanes

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#43 rockinplanes
Member since 2010 • 266 Posts

[QUOTE="-Big_Red-"][QUOTE="rockinplanes"] Oh you and your rape boxes...D:Jandurin
Must you follow me around attempting to derail threads that I venture into?

you're in like every thread

THANK you. He almost made me feel guilty.

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Blaminator1221

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#44 Blaminator1221
Member since 2010 • 455 Posts
Not flaming here, but if i was him i would kill the guy who raped me, not myself...
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Rekunta

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#45 Rekunta
Member since 2002 • 8275 Posts

Not flaming here, but if i was him i would kill the guy who raped me, not myself...Blaminator1221

I agree, but I think he mentioned that he was already dead. Should've been tortured to death IMO.

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applesxc47

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#46 applesxc47
Member since 2008 • 10761 Posts

He's better off now.

I can't believe he lasted as long as he did.

RIP

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deactivated-6016f2513d412

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#47 deactivated-6016f2513d412
Member since 2007 • 20414 Posts

[QUOTE="t3hrubikscube"]It's interesting that there haven't really been any rude or negative replies in this thread. Normally when suicide is brought up, so many people are so quick to jump on the "he's a selfish coward" bandwagon, but when you present something so agonizing and human such as a suicide letter like this one, people seem to change their tune a little...or even if they don't, they at least don't express the same cliche (and, in my opinion, wrong) sentiments. Anyway, that is very sad.Rekunta

Yea, I think the reason being is this letter elaborates and goes in-depth as to what pain truly can entail. Kind of humbles people. Most who judge are simply looking at it through their own life experiences without taking into account how bad things can get.

For sure. It seems like people have a hard time stepping into other people's shoes. What one person might not see as a problem or a struggle doesn't go for everyone else, and people seem to lose that and some people seem to develop this tough guy mentality that if they can handle something, surely everyone else can too, and that just isn't true. We all lead different lives and have different expectations. If those expectations aren't being met, we're going to be unhappy. I guess I see it as very simple, but yet I see so many people not being able to be empathetic in any way. Maybe it's just easier to hurl insults around rather than attempt to be understanding. I just see it so much in the topic of suicide and it bothers me a lot on many levels.
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BluRayHiDef

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#48 BluRayHiDef
Member since 2009 • 10839 Posts

[QUOTE="rockinplanes"]I don't get what was his problem. RIP anyway.-Big_Red-
He was raped... Repeatedly. Did you read the letter?

I'm not saying that what happened to him isn't unfortunate. However, if I were raped, I wouldn't let it affect my self esteem, because it wouldn't have been my fault. He was the victim, not the culprit, so why should he feel guilty or shameful. It wasn't his fault.

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applesxc47

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#49 applesxc47
Member since 2008 • 10761 Posts

[QUOTE="-Big_Red-"][QUOTE="rockinplanes"]I don't get what was his problem. RIP anyway.BluRayHiDef

He was raped... Repeatedly. Did you read the letter?

I'm not saying that what happened to him isn't unfortunate. However, if I were raped, I wouldn't let it affect my self esteem, because it wouldn't have been my fault. He was the victim, not the culprit, so why should he feel guilty or shameful. It wasn't his fault.

Your opinion would change as soon as it actually happened.

His pain would be a lot harder to understand from our perspective

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deactivated-6016f2513d412

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#50 deactivated-6016f2513d412
Member since 2007 • 20414 Posts

[QUOTE="-Big_Red-"][QUOTE="rockinplanes"]I don't get what was his problem. RIP anyway.BluRayHiDef

He was raped... Repeatedly. Did you read the letter?

I'm not saying that what happened to him isn't unfortunate. However, if I were raped, I wouldn't let it affect my self esteem, because it wouldn't have been my fault. He was the victim, not the culprit, so why should he feel guilty or shameful. It wasn't his fault.

Until you've been raped, I don't think you can pass judgments on the subject. Even then, the way you'd have felt post-rape does not and cannot compare to anyone else's feelings because we are all different and we all perceive life differently. It's very easy for you to say that you would just move past it and not feel badly about it when you aren't speaking from experience.