A Suicide Letter....

[QUOTE="-Big_Red-"][QUOTE="rockinplanes"]I don't get what was his problem. RIP anyway.BluRayHiDef

I'm not saying that what happened to him isn't unfortunate. However, if I were raped, I wouldn't let it affect my self esteem, because it wouldn't have been my fault. He was the victim, not the culprit, so why should he feel guilty or shameful. It wasn't his fault.

glad to know you are 100% sure how you'd feel if you were raped

[QUOTE="-Big_Red-"][QUOTE="rockinplanes"]I don't get what was his problem. RIP anyway.BluRayHiDef

I'm not saying that what happened to him isn't unfortunate. However, if I were raped, I wouldn't let it affect my self esteem, because it wouldn't have been my fault. He was the victim, not the culprit, so why should he feel guilty or shameful. It wasn't his fault.

[QUOTE="-Big_Red-"][QUOTE="rockinplanes"]I don't get what was his problem. RIP anyway.BluRayHiDef

I'm not saying that what happened to him isn't unfortunate. However, if I were raped, I wouldn't let it affect my self esteem, because it wouldn't have been my fault. He was the victim, not the culprit, so why should he feel guilty or shameful. It wasn't his fault.

Damn that's horrible :( It makes me sick even to think about growing up in an environment like that. I hope his parents get some perspective from this. It's amazing how "fundamentalist" Christians seem to ignore the most fundamental portions of the Bible. You know, like the parts with Jesus in it.

[QUOTE="-Big_Red-"][QUOTE="Jandurin"]glad i've never been raped or molested he's like dexterJandurin

This might be the most depressing thing I have ever read. I'm tempted to say I've felt similar to what he descibes at points past in my life, but somehow I doubt my ultimately sugar-coated existence comes close to comparing. RIP.

I think anyone who thinks committing suicide is wrong and selfish should read this letter. No one should have to live with this kind of burden if they don't want to. Makes me feel grateful that I haven't had to live with such a huge weight on my shoulders that I can't get rid of. RIP.

Blu_Falcon37

Agreed. Here is a quote people should think about:

"People say suicide is selfish. I think it's selfish to ask people to continue living painful and miserable lives, just so you possibly won't feel sad for a week or two. Suicide may be a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but it's also a permanent solution to a ~23 year-old problem that grows more intense and overwhelming every day."

[QUOTE="Rekunta"]

[QUOTE="t3hrubikscube"]It's interesting that there haven't really been any rude or negative replies in this thread. Normally when suicide is brought up, so many people are so quick to jump on the "he's a selfish coward" bandwagon, but when you present something so agonizing and human such as a suicide letter like this one, people seem to change their tune a little...or even if they don't, they at least don't express the same cliche (and, in my opinion, wrong) sentiments. Anyway, that is very sad.t3hrubikscube

Yea, I think the reason being is this letter elaborates and goes in-depth as to what pain truly can entail. Kind of humbles people. Most who judge are simply looking at it through their own life experiences without taking into account how bad things can get.

Too true. People are not the same, and everyone deals with things differently. These people are fighting against pain that is unimaginable every moment of their lives (hell, even in their nightmares), and that someone feels that they can JUDGE them based on their own experiences while the other is in a constant fight is to me the same as kicking someone when they're down, and it's a mentality I cannot abide and cannot comprehend. Which is the reason I believe they do not hold a concept of what pain really can be. It's not like these people WANT to die. Suicide is a sad situation, plain and simple.

[QUOTE="Blu_Falcon37"]

I think anyone who thinks committing suicide is wrong and selfish should read this letter. No one should have to live with this kind of burden if they don't want to. Makes me feel grateful that I haven't had to live with such a huge weight on my shoulders that I can't get rid of. RIP.

brandojones

Agreed. Here is a quote people should think about:

"People say suicide is selfish. I think it's selfish to ask people to continue living painful and miserable lives, just so you possibly won't feel sad for a week or two. Suicide may be a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but it's also a permanent solution to a ~23 year-old problem that grows more intense and overwhelming every day."

A better option than suicide is intentional memory loss. A 2x4 could solve a person's problem with a traumatic event pretty easily.

[spoiler] This was a joke [/spoiler]

[QUOTE="brandojones"]

[QUOTE="Blu_Falcon37"]

I think anyone who thinks committing suicide is wrong and selfish should read this letter. No one should have to live with this kind of burden if they don't want to. Makes me feel grateful that I haven't had to live with such a huge weight on my shoulders that I can't get rid of. RIP.

BluRayHiDef

Agreed. Here is a quote people should think about:

"People say suicide is selfish. I think it's selfish to ask people to continue living painful and miserable lives, just so you possibly won't feel sad for a week or two. Suicide may be a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but it's also a permanent solution to a ~23 year-old problem that grows more intense and overwhelming every day."

A better option than suicide is intentional memory loss. A 2x4 could solve a person's problem with a traumatic event pretty easily.

A hit with a 2 x 4 could easily kill someone. :|

Too true. People are not the same, and everyone deals with things differently. These people are fighting against pain that is unimaginable every moment of their lives (hell, even in their nightmares), and that someone feels that they can JUDGE them based on their own experiences while the other is in a constant fight is to me the same as kicking someone when they're down, and it's a mentality I cannot abide and cannot comprehend. Which is the reason I believe they do not hold a concept of what pain really can be. It's not like these people WANT to die. Suicide is a sad situation, plain and simple.Rekunta

[QUOTE="Blu_Falcon37"]

I think anyone who thinks committing suicide is wrong and selfish should read this letter. No one should have to live with this kind of burden if they don't want to. Makes me feel grateful that I haven't had to live with such a huge weight on my shoulders that I can't get rid of. RIP.

brandojones

Agreed. Here is a quote people should think about:

"People say suicide is selfish. I think it's selfish to ask people to continue living painful and miserable lives, just so you possibly won't feel sad for a week or two. Suicide may be a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but it's also a permanent solution to a ~23 year-old problem that grows more intense and overwhelming every day."

[QUOTE="BluRayHiDef"]

[QUOTE="-Big_Red-"] He was raped... Repeatedly. Did you read the letter?cybrcatter

I'm not saying that what happened to him isn't unfortunate. However, if I were raped, I wouldn't let it affect my self esteem, because it wouldn't have been my fault. He was the victim, not the culprit, so why should he feel guilty or shameful. It wasn't his fault.

I'm not the happiest person in the world. However, I haven't resorted to suicide. I've learned to accept my miserable existence.

I read the first half, then skimmed the second... It seems like this could have been avoided, had he sought help... People bottling everything up, then unexpectingly killing themselves... Sorry, not something I can be sad about... Don't get me wrong... The loss of a life is ALWAYS sad, but I hold no sympathy for suicide cases. I wish he would have found help, looked towards God, published a book(a surprisingly good writer), or done SOMETHING... Killing yourself is NEVER the answer!jeremiah06

Anyway, that is a very sad story. I can't understand what he went through, but if it caused him to end his own life, I imagine that must have been terrible.

[QUOTE="BluRayHiDef"]

[QUOTE="brandojones"]

Agreed. Here is a quote people should think about:

"People say suicide is selfish. I think it's selfish to ask people to continue living painful and miserable lives, just so you possibly won't feel sad for a week or two. Suicide may be a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but it's also a permanent solution to a ~23 year-old problem that grows more intense and overwhelming every day."

coolbeans90

A better option than suicide is intentional memory loss. A 2x4 could solve a person's problem with a traumatic event pretty easily.

A hit with a 2 x 4 could easily kill someone. :|

You've got to apply just the right amount of force.

[QUOTE="cybrcatter"]

[QUOTE="BluRayHiDef"]

I'm not saying that what happened to him isn't unfortunate. However, if I were raped, I wouldn't let it affect my self esteem, because it wouldn't have been my fault. He was the victim, not the culprit, so why should he feel guilty or shameful. It wasn't his fault.

BluRayHiDef

I'm not the happiest person in the world. However, I haven't resorted to suicide. I've learned to accept my miserable existence.

You also weren't repeatedly raped at age 2. :?

I read the first half, then skimmed the second... It seems like this could have been avoided, had he sought help... People bottling everything up, then unexpectingly killing themselves... Sorry, not something I can be sad about... Don't get me wrong... The loss of a life is ALWAYS sad, but I hold no sympathy for suicide cases. I wish he would have found help, looked towards God, published a book(a surprisingly good writer), or done SOMETHING... Killing yourself is NEVER the answer!jeremiah06

Read the whole thing.

[QUOTE="jeremiah06"]I read the first half, then skimmed the second... It seems like this could have been avoided, had he sought help... People bottling everything up, then unexpectingly killing themselves... Sorry, not something I can be sad about... Don't get me wrong... The loss of a life is ALWAYS sad, but I hold no sympathy for suicide cases. I wish he would have found help, looked towards God, published a book(a surprisingly good writer), or done SOMETHING... Killing yourself is NEVER the answer!t3hrubikscube

[QUOTE="-Big_Red-"][QUOTE="rockinplanes"]I don't get what was his problem. RIP anyway.BluRayHiDef

I'm not saying that what happened to him isn't unfortunate. However, if I were raped, I wouldn't let it affect my self esteem, because it wouldn't have been my fault. He was the victim, not the culprit, so why should he feel guilty or shameful. It wasn't his fault.

my head is going to explode :(

i understand his situation and i'm the first to say "there's always hope" and i do think there copuld have been other ways but i do not personally know him. but this? i stopped reading after "if"

I read the first half, then skimmed the second... It seems like this could have been avoided, had he sought help... People bottling everything up, then unexpectingly killing themselves... Sorry, not something I can be sad about... Don't get me wrong... The loss of a life is ALWAYS sad, but I hold no sympathy for suicide cases. I wish he would have found help, looked towards God, published a book(a surprisingly good writer), or done SOMETHING... Killing yourself is NEVER the answer!jeremiah06

[QUOTE="t3hrubikscube"][QUOTE="jeremiah06"]I read the first half, then skimmed the second... It seems like this could have been avoided, had he sought help... People bottling everything up, then unexpectingly killing themselves... Sorry, not something I can be sad about... Don't get me wrong... The loss of a life is ALWAYS sad, but I hold no sympathy for suicide cases. I wish he would have found help, looked towards God, published a book(a surprisingly good writer), or done SOMETHING... Killing yourself is NEVER the answer!jeremiah06

Considering that he could not start any functional relationships with another human being because of his condition, it's a bit easy for one to say that he should have sought help.

Its such a shame that some people get to a point like this, its makes me feel ashamed that I am not more appreciative of what I've got

[QUOTE="BluRayHiDef"]

[QUOTE="-Big_Red-"] He was raped... Repeatedly. Did you read the letter?zoraluv

I'm not saying that what happened to him isn't unfortunate. However, if I were raped, I wouldn't let it affect my self esteem, because it wouldn't have been my fault. He was the victim, not the culprit, so why should he feel guilty or shameful. It wasn't his fault.

my head is going to explode :(

i understand his situation and i'm the first to say "there's always hope" and i do think there copuld have been other ways but i do not personally know him. but this? i stopped reading after "if"

Suicide is never the answer. Heck, if I were him, I would have gotten revenge. That would have set things straight.

[QUOTE="t3hrubikscube"][QUOTE="jeremiah06"]I read the first half, then skimmed the second... It seems like this could have been avoided, had he sought help... People bottling everything up, then unexpectingly killing themselves... Sorry, not something I can be sad about... Don't get me wrong... The loss of a life is ALWAYS sad, but I hold no sympathy for suicide cases. I wish he would have found help, looked towards God, published a book(a surprisingly good writer), or done SOMETHING... Killing yourself is NEVER the answer!jeremiah06

[QUOTE="t3hrubikscube"][QUOTE="jeremiah06"]I read the first half, then skimmed the second... It seems like this could have been avoided, had he sought help... People bottling everything up, then unexpectingly killing themselves... Sorry, not something I can be sad about... Don't get me wrong... The loss of a life is ALWAYS sad, but I hold no sympathy for suicide cases. I wish he would have found help, looked towards God, published a book(a surprisingly good writer), or done SOMETHING... Killing yourself is NEVER the answer!jeremiah06

"You may wonder why I didn't just talk to a professional about this. I've seen a number of doctors since I was a teenager to talk about other issues and I'm positive that another doctor would not have helped."

[QUOTE="zoraluv"]

[QUOTE="BluRayHiDef"]

I'm not saying that what happened to him isn't unfortunate. However, if I were raped, I wouldn't let it affect my self esteem, because it wouldn't have been my fault. He was the victim, not the culprit, so why should he feel guilty or shameful. It wasn't his fault.

BluRayHiDef

my head is going to explode :(

i understand his situation and i'm the first to say "there's always hope" and i do think there copuld have been other ways but i do not personally know him. but this? i stopped reading after "if"

Suicide is never the answer. Heck, if I were him, I wouldn't gotten revenge. That would have set things straight.

you know we all have opinions and it's good that you will never resort to it. just don't make it seem it's the only way

Damn, that letter made me almost cry :(. Goes to show you how much better you have it.. RIP buddy.

[QUOTE="jeremiah06"]Of course it could have been avoided had he sought help. In his situation, with the experiences he had had, seeking help really wasn't a rational solution, even if, in reality, it is the most rational one. You feel no sympathy for a man who could see his own life and its future only through a darkness tinted spectacle? If you had been living with the same burden for 23 years, whether it had been with you from birth (another huge contributing factor considering childhood shapes our character) or not, would you really expect anything to help? The man had no semblance of hope for his life, how you can have no sympathy for that is despicable.

jamejame

[QUOTE="jeremiah06"]I read the first half, then skimmed the second... It seems like this could have been avoided, had he sought help... People bottling everything up, then unexpectingly killing themselves... Sorry, not something I can be sad about... Don't get me wrong... The loss of a life is ALWAYS sad, but I hold no sympathy for suicide cases. I wish he would have found help, looked towards God, published a book(a surprisingly good writer), or done SOMETHING... Killing yourself is NEVER the answer!jamejame

[QUOTE="jeremiah06"][QUOTE="t3hrubikscube"] Oh, here we go. We were doing relatively well in this thread too. What a shame. Also, the God thing isn't for everyone. ;)brandojones

"You may wonder why I didn't just talk to a professional about this. I've seen a number of doctors since I was a teenager to talk about other issues and I'm positive that another doctor would not have helped."

[QUOTE="zoraluv"]

[QUOTE="BluRayHiDef"]

I'm not saying that what happened to him isn't unfortunate. However, if I were raped, I wouldn't let it affect my self esteem, because it wouldn't have been my fault. He was the victim, not the culprit, so why should he feel guilty or shameful. It wasn't his fault.

BluRayHiDef

my head is going to explode :(

i understand his situation and i'm the first to say "there's always hope" and i do think there copuld have been other ways but i do not personally know him. but this? i stopped reading after "if"

Suicide is never the answer. Heck, if I were him, I would have gotten revenge. That would have set things straight.

*facepalm*

No offence or anything. :)

But really, things are just not that simple. This was not someone keying his car that he could just go and break his car window and it would make it all good. This guy was repeatedly raped, as a CHILD for Chrissakes, for god knows how long. Think about that, and how it would affect every single aspect of his life.

[QUOTE="coolbeans90"]

[QUOTE="BluRayHiDef"]

A better option than suicide is intentional memory loss. A 2x4 could solve a person's problem with a traumatic event pretty easily.

BluRayHiDef

A hit with a 2 x 4 could easily kill someone. :|

You've got to apply just the right amount of force.

Far, far more easily said than done. The likelihood of killing someone seems quite a bit more likely than simply resetting their memory. Have you done the calculations of the proper amount of force an a specific part of a specific person's skull? How did you attain that data? How will you properly control for the force you apply to the lever which will in turn strike the skull of said person? Have you been practicing your 2x4 wielding skills? Or does one resort to using a very carefully calibrated machine of some sort? If so, have you taken the appropriate measures to quantify the impact? In the best case scenario where one manages to eliminate their memory without causing permanent debilitating physical damage, mental destruction or death, they either were extraordinarily lucky, and/or the process of working the system out was rather difficult and complex.

[QUOTE="zoraluv"]

[QUOTE="BluRayHiDef"]

I'm not saying that what happened to him isn't unfortunate. However, if I were raped, I wouldn't let it affect my self esteem, because it wouldn't have been my fault. He was the victim, not the culprit, so why should he feel guilty or shameful. It wasn't his fault.

BluRayHiDef

my head is going to explode :(

i understand his situation and i'm the first to say "there's always hope" and i do think there copuld have been other ways but i do not personally know him. but this? i stopped reading after "if"

Suicide is never the answer. Heck, if I were him, I would have gotten revenge. That would have set things straight.

You watch too much TV.

:( That was a rather sad read. RIP poor guy.

[QUOTE="-Big_Red-"][QUOTE="rockinplanes"]I don't get what was his problem. RIP anyway.BluRayHiDef

I'm not saying that what happened to him isn't unfortunate. However, if I were raped, I wouldn't let it affect my self esteem, because it wouldn't have been my fault. He was the victim, not the culprit, so why should he feel guilty or shameful. It wasn't his fault.

It is common in cases of rape for the victim to blame themselves. It becomes a psychological issue, something which a 2 x 4 won't fix.

*facepalm*

No offence or anything. :)

But really, things are just not that simple. This was not someone keying his car that he could just go and break his car window and it would make it all good. This guy was repeatedly raped, as a CHILD for Chrissakes, for god knows how long. Think about that, and how it would affect every single aspect of his life.

Rekunta

I just want to add that abuse is so detrimental. It is even more detrimental when it takes place in childhood because it quite literally can affect development of the child in many ways. I've read a bit on the subject, including some studies that were done on abused children that followed them throughout their lives, and up against children who hadn't been abused, they were quite obviously underdeveloped in so many aspects of life. They got worse grades, they were emotionally stunted, most of them were depressed and had anxiety issues, etc. Child abuse is as awful and damaging as it sounds, and then in this man's case, you add sexual abuse and the fact that he's male. I say this last part because there's potential social stigma to surround the victims because men are "supposed" to be masculine and "tough" and all of that other stereotypical garbage about masculinity. It therefore makes it harder for a male victim of abuse, especially sexual abuse, to come forth and seek help. Many abuse survivors feel guilt or like they 'asked' for it in some way, so seeking help is very difficult just on its own.

[QUOTE="zoraluv"]

[QUOTE="BluRayHiDef"]

I'm not saying that what happened to him isn't unfortunate. However, if I were raped, I wouldn't let it affect my self esteem, because it wouldn't have been my fault. He was the victim, not the culprit, so why should he feel guilty or shameful. It wasn't his fault.

BluRayHiDef

my head is going to explode :(

i understand his situation and i'm the first to say "there's always hope" and i do think there copuld have been other ways but i do not personally know him. but this? i stopped reading after "if"

Suicide is never the answer. Heck, if I were him, I would have gotten revenge. That would have set things straight.

It's a f***ing shame stuff like this happens to people.

[QUOTE="BluRayHiDef"]

[QUOTE="zoraluv"]

my head is going to explode :(

i understand his situation and i'm the first to say "there's always hope" and i do think there copuld have been other ways but i do not personally know him. but this? i stopped reading after "if"

cybrcatter

Suicide is never the answer. Heck, if I were him, I would have gotten revenge. That would have set things straight.

"if" means nothing in most cases

I would like to thank the TC for posting this, because I doubt I would of stumbled across this on my own. There are not many times that I've done some serious thinking about life in general after reading a thread in OT and I thank you for that.

[QUOTE="Rekunta"]

*facepalm*

No offence or anything. :)

But really, things are just not that simple. This was not someone keying his car that he could just go and break his car window and it would make it all good. This guy was repeatedly raped, as a CHILD for Chrissakes, for god knows how long. Think about that, and how it would affect every single aspect of his life.

t3hrubikscube

I just want to add that abuse is so detrimental. It is even more detrimental when it takes place in childhood because it quite literally can affect development of the child in many ways. I've read a bit on the subject, including some studies that were done on abused children that followed them throughout their lives, and up against children who hadn't been abused, they were quite obviously underdeveloped in so many aspects of life. They got worse grades, they were emotionally stunted, most of them were depressed and had anxiety issues, etc. Child abuse is as awful and damaging as it sounds, and then in this man's case, you add sexual abuse and the fact that he's male. I say this last part because there's potential social stigma to surround the victims because men are "supposed" to be masculine and "tough" and all of that other stereotypical garbage about masculinity. It therefore makes it harder for a male victim of abuse, especially sexual abuse, to come forth and seek help. Many abuse survivors feel guilt or like they 'asked' for it in some way, so seeking help is very difficult just on its own.

Not to stereotype here, but that's not even taking into consideration his family were strict fundamentalist Christians that were more than likely very narrow minded (if his description is in anyway accurate) and unforgiving people that he couldn't confide in without fear of being judged or told that he was going to Hell or whatnot unless he believed in something life had given him no reason to. From how he described his family, with such intense hate and fury, I can't help but think he despised them as much as the rapist, if not more so.

Rest in peace :(

Wow, that brought me to tears... That was so incredible deep. His cause of death was not a gun shot, he hung himself but was found ALIVE,

"From what I can gather, ten minutes later someone found him and he was rushed to the hospital but ten minutes is a long time to go without oxygen to the brain. He suffered damage and his brain was showing very little involuntary activity and no voluntary activity. He was induced into a coma to prevent swelling but eventually it was declared he'd be in a permanent vegetative state and tonight at 8pm his respirator was removed and he passed on."

[QUOTE="Jandurin"]glad i've never been raped or molested he's like dexter-Big_Red-

Hmm can't say I know the feeling, sorry for him. He didn't try to go to any counselling at all?