couples living together before marriage, where do you stand?

I noticed a trend my friends are going through. Though not married (or married YET) friends I know are moving in together in either their boyfriends/girlfriends house, getting an apartment together, and what not.

Already 7 of them have broken up and moved out, and one friend who I pretty much consider my little sister is moving in with her dbag boyfriend and while I wish her the best, I hope nothing bad comes out of it.

Anyways, where do you stand on people doing this? Does it always end with a bad outcome?

I don't see what's wrong with living together before marriage.

Should be required before you're allowed to get married.Jandurin

I second this.

Should be required before you're allowed to get married.Jandurin

[QUOTE="Jandurin"]Should be required before you're allowed to get married.no_more_fayth

I second this.

[QUOTE="no_more_fayth"]

[QUOTE="Jandurin"]Should be required before you're allowed to get married.nocoolnamejim

I second this.

Amen, brother.

:P

No it doesn't, and I thought this was the norm. :ssuper_mario_128

well I'm a person who wants to enjoy his 20's, make something out of myself, and I honestly don't see marriage in my life in the next 10-15 years if not at all.

[QUOTE="super_mario_128"]No it doesn't, and I thought this was the norm. :sPandaTrueno86

well I'm a person who wants to enjoy his 20's, make something out of myself, and I honestly don't see marriage in my life in the next 10-15 years if not at all.

I have done it
You would think it would help the divorce rate, but the stats show otherwise (more likely to get divorced if you live together first)

I will be honest, it baffles me.
The only explanation I have is a religious one (less likely to live together first and less likely to get divorced for religious reasons)
-though I know many religious people that do both
-it could not possible explain the difference in numbers
...so I am 'stuck'

Perhaps it is due to the fact that those who live together first put less value on the institution of marriage…but who knows

I think it's better. People should know what it's like to live with each other before committing to a marriage.Bourbons3

The only relationships that "end badly" were one's that wouldn't work in the first place. A reason why over 50% of marriages end up in divorce now.

I personally have been living with my girlfriend of 16 months for almost 8 months now and couldn't be happier (except in terms of being financially stable). We are learning quite a bit about each other, even when going through rough patches and fights, and growing closer to one another as time goes on.

I can't see why anyone would marry someone before actually living with them. Some people can delude themselves into thinking they can "make it through anything" but I don't think there is a single person out there who really could... especially when things start getting abusive or hurtful for one of the two partners. I'd say the more time you spend with someone before you marry them, the better. Why? Because marriage is a life-long commitment, and you should "know" 100% who you want to spend it with.

[QUOTE="PandaTrueno86"]

[QUOTE="super_mario_128"]No it doesn't, and I thought this was the norm. :sJandurin

well I'm a person who wants to enjoy his 20's, make something out of myself, and I honestly don't see marriage in my life in the next 10-15 years if not at all.

I guess it's because I just don't feel committed to living in with a girlfriend sometime, I'm not dating anyone at the moment and I don't feel like I want to...I dunno really.

[QUOTE="Bourbons3"]I think it's better. People should know what it's like to live with each other before committing to a marriage.FragStains

I guess it's because I just don't feel committed to living in with a girlfriend sometime, I'm not dating anyone at the moment and I don't feel like I want to...I dunno really.

PandaTrueno86

[QUOTE="PandaTrueno86"]

I guess it's because I just don't feel committed to living in with a girlfriend sometime, I'm not dating anyone at the moment and I don't feel like I want to...I dunno really.

Jandurin

I guess so, I just don't have a desire to date...I enjoy being single and I enjoy my freedom and my 20's. I'm just bummed to see my friends having a hard time living with their boyfriend/girlfriend, or getting pregnant and starting to show signs of failure in the relationship or calling off a quick engagement, or filing divorce. And I'm just fearing for my little sister/best friend that she'll be living with her punk boyfriend and that'll she'll go down that same route considering how she could have a successful life.

I wish her well though.

[QUOTE="FragStains"][QUOTE="Bourbons3"]I think it's better. People should know what it's like to live with each other before committing to a marriage.Jandurin

[QUOTE="Jandurin"][QUOTE="PandaTrueno86"]

I guess it's because I just don't feel committed to living in with a girlfriend sometime, I'm not dating anyone at the moment and I don't feel like I want to...I dunno really.

PandaTrueno86

I guess so, I just don't have a desire to date...I enjoy being single and I enjoy my freedom. I'm just bummed to see my friends having a hard time living with their boyfriend/girlfriend, or getting pregnant and starting to show signs of failure in the relationship or callingoff a quick engagemen, or filing divorce.And I'm just fearing for my little sister/best friend that she'll be living with her punk boyfriend and that'll she'll go down that same route considering how she could have a successful life.

I wish her well though.

life is just a bunch of stuff that happens until you die don't judge her just because she chooses different stuffJandurin

Oh I'm not, but we'll see...obviously I'll be upset and dissapointed IF she throws away modeling for a much-too-soon marriage. but like I said, we'll see...

[QUOTE="PandaTrueno86"]

[QUOTE="Jandurin"] so all you're saying is that you wouldn't want to move in with someone you wouldn't want to get married to. that makes sense. i wouldn't live with a girlfriend i didn't intend to get married tonocoolnamejim

I guess so, I just don't have a desire to date...I enjoy being single and I enjoy my freedom. I'm just bummed to see my friends having a hard time living with their boyfriend/girlfriend, or getting pregnant and starting to show signs of failure in the relationship or callingoff a quick engagemen, or filing divorce.And I'm just fearing for my little sister/best friend that she'll be living with her punk boyfriend and that'll she'll go down that same route considering how she could have a successful life.

I wish her well though.

[QUOTE="Jandurin"][QUOTE="FragStains"]One could contend that before getting married you should know enough about your future spouse that the prospect of conflict while living together after marriage is non-existent. FragStains

Pardon me, I have to do some selective cutting and pasting; what's your wife's email addy again? :Pxaos

Its funny you mention this. A friend of mine was complaining to me yesterday about her boyfriend is not who she though he was after recently moving in together. She complains he like to wear the same clothes back to back and is very picky about food.

Yeah, I think living together is a good way to bring out the secrets.

Should be required before you're allowed to get married.Jandurin

you might want to rethink that position

(Science FTW) I used to think the same way you do until I started reading studies about it.

Should be required before you're allowed to get married.Jandurin

i agree fully with this statement. smartest thing a couple can do before marriage. it will show them what to expect.

btw why did you get rid of your sig?

[QUOTE="Jandurin"]Should be required before you're allowed to get married.Guybrush_3

you might want to rethink that position

I used to think the same way you do until I started reading studies about it.

[QUOTE="Jandurin"]Should be required before you're allowed to get married.Guybrush_3

you might want to rethink that position

I used to think the same way you do until I started reading studies about it.

Not the best of ideas honestly.

As has been stated, couples who live together first actually have a higher level of divorce and even cracked agrees with this.

I am not necessarily against it, but I think it is something that needs to be thought through very carefully.

(Science FTW)

Guybrush_3

I plan to live together with a future partner, yet I refuse to get married. What happens to me in this scenario?

[QUOTE="FragStains"][QUOTE="Jandurin"] ... me not understand.Jandurin

Not the best of ideas honestly.

As has been stated, couples who live together first actually have a higher level of divorce and even cracked agrees with this.

I am not necessarily against it, but I think it is something that needs to be thought through very carefully.

I plan to live together with a future partner, yet I refuse to get married. What happens to me in this scenario?

T_P_O

All those things except for bed arrangements are things that should be discussed before marriage. That what I meant by relationship expectations. And if conflict over who gets what side of the bed is a big problem then maybe marriage shouldn't be on the horizon.FragStains

[QUOTE="Guybrush_3"]

[QUOTE="Jandurin"]Should be required before you're allowed to get married.Jandurin

you might want to rethink that position

I used to think the same way you do until I started reading studies about it.

You know quite well that scientific studies with large amounts of empirical evidence are more accurate than anecdotal evidence.

(More science)

[QUOTE="T_P_O"]

I plan to live together with a future partner, yet I refuse to get married. What happens to me in this scenario?

Jandurin

Its a good idea...you don't want to marry someone only to find out you can't stand living with them.

[QUOTE="Jandurin"][QUOTE="Guybrush_3"]

you might want to rethink that position

I used to think the same way you do until I started reading studies about it.

You know quite well that scientific studies with large amounts of empirical evidence are more accurate than anecdotal evidence.

(More science)