couples living together before marriage, where do you stand?

I don't think the issue is people moving in together before marriage so much as it is people moving in together before they get to know each other really well and become fully committed.

A person could date someone and never get married and have a better relationship than someone who is married.

Marriage doesn't mean much.

It's probably one of the biggest mistakes people make during relationships.

To me it seems completely irrational to not live with someone before legally committing yourself to them. You don't truly know a person until you've lived with them for a signifigant period of time. My wife and I lived together for years before getting married.

It's better than find out you're incompatible and unacceptable dirty secret/habit/whatever after marriage. Worst, it led to divorce and more trouble. By living together before marriage, both of you'll find out about eachother bad habit sooner, get used to it or iron it out.

living with someone before getting married is really the smart thing to do. i lived with my wife for four years before we got married and i'm glad we did. the first year was pretty ****in rough, we learned a whole lot about each other (good and.....bad), but we sacrificed and worked through all of our problems and 3 1/2 years later we were married. so all in all, i definitely recommend living with a partner before marrying them.

[QUOTE="no_more_fayth"]

[QUOTE="Jandurin"]Should be required before you're allowed to get married.nocoolnamejim

I second this.

Read #1.

[QUOTE="nocoolnamejim"][QUOTE="no_more_fayth"]

I second this.

nintendoman562

Read #1.

i'd rather not take dating advice from cracked.com.

[QUOTE="nocoolnamejim"][QUOTE="no_more_fayth"]

I second this.

nintendoman562

Read #1.

Oh well if Cracked says it....

It's probably one of the biggest mistakes people make during relationships.

ImaPirate0202

While I can't really say anything since I haven't even dated someone before, I'll leave this new study here (it's just one study).

University of Denver (DU) researchers find that couples who live together before they are engaged have a higher chance of getting divorced than those who wait until they are married to live together, or at least wait until they are engaged. In addition, couples who lived together before engagement and then married, reported a lower satisfaction in their marriages.

The research, which appears in the Journal of Family Psychology, was conducted by Galena Rhoades, senior researcher, Scott Stanley, research professor, and Howard Markman, professor of psychology.

"We think that some couples who move in together without a clear commitment to marriage may wind up sliding into marriage partly because they are already cohabiting," Rhoades says.

"It seems wise to talk about commitment and what living together might mean for the future of the relationship before moving in together, especially because cohabiting likely makes it harder to break up compared to dating," Stanley says.

The three researchers also studied the reasons why couples decide to live together. That study, which appeared in the Journal of Family Issues, shows that most couples chose to live together in order to spend more time together. The second most popular reason is convenience, followed by testing the relationship. This is different than previous research that found most people cohabit to test the relationship.

"Cohabiting to test a relationship turns out to be associated with the most problems in relationships," Rhoades says. "Perhaps if a person is feeling a need to test the relationship, he or she already knows some important information about how a relationship may go over time."

Edit: Someone already beat me to it . . . kind of. I got the study from the Cracked article.

Well considering my parents livd together for around 6 years before they got married and even had another child i don't think they had a problem with it.

Lived with my wife for 2 1/2 years before we got married. Worked for me:D

I highly recommend taking things for a test drive before buying.

When I was younger, my thoughts were to be married first. But since I got married first and I'm now divorced my thoughts are a little different. When you live with someone, you actually see more of their flaws whichforces you to either accept it or kick them to the curve.And it's not as expensive as adivorce. Your not locked in for life because you made a bad decision. If you can accept that person and all their flaws then possible when you get married it will work.

That depends on why they formed the relationship in the first place, and somewhat less importantly why they're living together.

There are some things you just can't form a stable relationship on.

You really shouldn't live together before getting married, studies have shown it increases the chance of divorce. It's simply because the guy expects things to stay the same after marriage while the woman thinks things will change.

It most likely ends up with a lot of problems, especially if there is a break up, but meh, people do what they want.

I'm moving in with one of my mates when he gets a job down at university. We'll just be housemates but we've already talked about specific things like finances, our rooms being our private places, sock-on-the-door definition, house parties, etc

You learn a lot about your partner, about relationships, about compromise and importantly about yourself. Getting into marriage before testing the water is a bit like accepting a job before you know anything about the company - it may look great on paper, but once you start working you may find that the cultures completely wrong...

Should be required before you're allowed to get married.Jandurin

i think its a good idea, you should know if you can't stand to live with someone before you marry them

You really shouldn't live together before getting married, studies have shown it increases the chance of divorce. It's simply because the guy expects things to stay the same after marriage while the woman thinks things will change.

Jfisch93

I think it's better. People should know what it's like to live with each other before committing to a marriage.Bourbons3

Please check outjmcquaid

You really shouldn't live together before getting married, studies have shown it increases the chance of divorce. It's simply because the guy expects things to stay the same after marriage while the woman thinks things will change.

Jfisch93

[QUOTE="Teenaged"]

[QUOTE="rawsavon"]

I have done it
You would think it would help the divorce rate, but the stats show otherwise (more likely to get divorced if you live together first)

I will be honest, it baffles me.
The only explanation I have is a religious one (less likely to live together first and less likely to get divorced for religious reasons)
-though I know many religious people that do both
-it could not possible explain the difference in numbers
...so I am 'stuck'

Perhaps it is due to the fact that those who live together first put less value on the institution of marriage…but who knows

rawsavon

It was not asserted as one...
-why I used 'perhaps'

I am trying to come up with any explanation I can to explain the numbers (the stat that if you live together first you MORE likely to get divorced)

But I am not American/English/Australian/NZer etc so I could be wrong.

[QUOTE="Jfisch93"]

You really shouldn't live together before getting married, studies have shown it increases the chance of divorce. It's simply because the guy expects things to stay the same after marriage while the woman thinks things will change.

Omni-Slash

and this is why I'm not getting married in a million years.GazaAli

and this is why I'm not getting married in a million years.GazaAli

I'm a religious dude, so I have never been an intimate relationship before. Now that I'm 22, I feel that the hard part is gone and now I finally get to enjoy life. Oh but wait, not is the time to get married according to social norms. screw this. Also, I need to get engaged with a woman I do not know, who needs that.

/rant

I'm a religious dude, so I have never been an intimate relationship before. Now that I'm 22, I feel that the hard part is gone and now I finally get to enjoy life. Oh but wait, not is the time to get married according to social norms. screw this. Also, I need to get engaged with a woman I do not know, who needs that.GazaAli

[QUOTE="GazaAli"]I'm a religious dude, so I have never been an intimate relationship before. Now that I'm 22, I feel that the hard part is gone and now I finally get to enjoy life. Oh but wait, not is the time to get married according to social norms. screw this. Also, I need to get engaged with a woman I do not know, who needs that.Omni-Slash

I don't know, I of course disagree with you as a religious man. People here have absolutely no problem with what I just described and they consider it 100% normal, so maybe its just me.GazaAli

[QUOTE="GazaAli"]I don't know, I of course disagree with you as a religious man. People here have absolutely no problem with what I just described and they consider it 100% normal, so maybe its just me.Jandurin