Do i tell her?

duuude, i can honestly say, i am in the exact, absolute exact position you are in, only difference is, im the person still in love :(, if you go for this you could make her really happy, and you will probably have a lengthy relationship on your hands.

I wish she found the feelings for me again :(, sometimes its so hard to even be her friend because i have different feelings and being friends is just to painful, she just got a boyfriend last night, and i've been feeling messed up ever since, this has been going on for about 6 months, and i dont know how much longer my heart can wait.

but yeah im past this stage and like i said, she was just as confused as you are, now she (you, in your case) has found somebody else and me (the girl in your case) is still sitting here in love with her (you), and its probably the worst i have felt in a long time, she might not feel to bad now but as soon as you find somebody else her life will feel like utter c***

duuude, i can honestly say, i am in the exact, absolute exact position you are in, only difference is, im the person still in love :(, if you go for this you could make her really happy, and you will probably have a lengthy relationship on your hands.

I wish she found the feelings for me again :(, sometimes its so hard to even be her friend because i have different feelings and being friends is just to painful, she just got a boyfriend last night, and i've been feeling messed up ever since, this has been going on for about 6 months, and i dont know how much longer my heart can wait.

supras989

same here, she told me that she fell for another guy. she knew ive been waiting years for an opportunity to be with her, and we just stayed the bestest of friends until recently when she fell for this guy. Shes telling me that there's never not goign to be a "chance", but that she doesn't want me to wait on her. I'm stuck, and hopeless.

I wish everyone with these kinds of problems good luck! It hurts so much =/

dude you gotta be more than friends if thats what she wants. At least go out with her, you'll never be friends again in the long run because your going to move on with your lives. Might as well see if it can work out and if it does, your going to be close friends forever, as a couple. Think about it, I think that's what you might want.MaddenBowler10

[QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"]dude you gotta be more than friends if thats what she wants. At least go out with her, you'll never be friends again in the long run because your going to move on with your lives. Might as well see if it can work out and if it does, your going to be close friends forever, as a couple. Think about it, I think that's what you might want.supras989

yah...i may have a chance some day with my girl. But that's a big maybe, and probably a no. I dont think I'm in her plans for her future.

[QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"]dude you gotta be more than friends if thats what she wants. At least go out with her, you'll never be friends again in the long run because your going to move on with your lives. Might as well see if it can work out and if it does, your going to be close friends forever, as a couple. Think about it, I think that's what you might want.supras989

dude, i had feelings for her too, that went away for some damn reason, hell, i asked HER out..

[QUOTE="supras989"][QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"]dude you gotta be more than friends if thats what she wants. At least go out with her, you'll never be friends again in the long run because your going to move on with your lives. Might as well see if it can work out and if it does, your going to be close friends forever, as a couple. Think about it, I think that's what you might want.RabidChocobo1

dude, i had feelings for her too, that went away for some damn reason, hell, i asked HER out..

it can't be for no reason. we need details

[QUOTE="supras989"][QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"]dude you gotta be more than friends if thats what she wants. At least go out with her, you'll never be friends again in the long run because your going to move on with your lives. Might as well see if it can work out and if it does, your going to be close friends forever, as a couple. Think about it, I think that's what you might want.MaddenBowler10

yah...i may have a chance some day with my girl. But that's a big maybe, and probably a no. I dont think I'm in her plans for her future.

see? i dont want her to be like you guys; waiting and hoping and praying that ill fall for you. I dont want to do that for her, because for all i know, those feelings will never come back, but i dont want to risk her heart for something i have no idea on..

[QUOTE="RabidChocobo1"]

[QUOTE="supras989"][QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"]dude you gotta be more than friends if thats what she wants. At least go out with her, you'll never be friends again in the long run because your going to move on with your lives. Might as well see if it can work out and if it does, your going to be close friends forever, as a couple. Think about it, I think that's what you might want.MaddenBowler10

dude, i had feelings for her too, that went away for some damn reason, hell, i asked HER out..

it can't be for no reason. we need details

[QUOTE="RabidChocobo1"]

[QUOTE="supras989"][QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"]dude you gotta be more than friends if thats what she wants. At least go out with her, you'll never be friends again in the long run because your going to move on with your lives. Might as well see if it can work out and if it does, your going to be close friends forever, as a couple. Think about it, I think that's what you might want.MaddenBowler10

dude, i had feelings for her too, that went away for some damn reason, hell, i asked HER out..

it can't be for no reason. we need details

Your making this more complicated then it really is.

Just take a day or two break from either other, then see how you feel about her after that, and see how she feels after you both just take some personal time.

Or you can just forget about all everything, act as if nothing happened and you both still have feelings for each other. Then after a few days go by and you still feel the same, then you should tell her. One day isn't verylong, so dont think that because of what happened one day should determine your relationship....

Oh, and one think, if 2 people had feelings for each other, then they break up, they cant really stay friends. Now you know why lol. Nothing will ever be the same again.

[QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"]

[QUOTE="supras989"][QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"]dude you gotta be more than friends if thats what she wants. At least go out with her, you'll never be friends again in the long run because your going to move on with your lives. Might as well see if it can work out and if it does, your going to be close friends forever, as a couple. Think about it, I think that's what you might want.RabidChocobo1

yah...i may have a chance some day with my girl. But that's a big maybe, and probably a no. I dont think I'm in her plans for her future.

see? i dont want her to be like you guys; waiting and hoping and praying that ill fall for you. I dont want to do that for her, because for all i know, those feelings will never come back, but i dont want to risk her heart for something i have no idea on..

i then say just give it time, probably leave her alone for a few days or something. Time helps heal wounds. Maybe if things go back to normal, that maybe you'll fall for her again in a better situation.

[QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"][QUOTE="RabidChocobo1"]

[QUOTE="supras989"][QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"]dude you gotta be more than friends if thats what she wants. At least go out with her, you'll never be friends again in the long run because your going to move on with your lives. Might as well see if it can work out and if it does, your going to be close friends forever, as a couple. Think about it, I think that's what you might want.RabidChocobo1

dude, i had feelings for her too, that went away for some damn reason, hell, i asked HER out..

it can't be for no reason. we need details

your pretty shallow, this is EXACTLY what my friend did to me. She's probably destroyed completely inside. I think ur a little weird and messed up that you stopped having romantic feelings about her as well, which is completely messing up her mind and self esteem. You really screwed up dude! :S

lolz, You decided you had 'romantic' feelings for her and then lost them the next day? How old are you?savinger

Im mature enough never to have called it "love" which many teenagers do nowadays

[QUOTE="RabidChocobo1"][QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"][QUOTE="RabidChocobo1"]

[QUOTE="supras989"][QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"]dude you gotta be more than friends if thats what she wants. At least go out with her, you'll never be friends again in the long run because your going to move on with your lives. Might as well see if it can work out and if it does, your going to be close friends forever, as a couple. Think about it, I think that's what you might want.MaddenBowler10

dude, i had feelings for her too, that went away for some damn reason, hell, i asked HER out..

it can't be for no reason. we need details

your pretty shallow, this is EXACTLY what my friend did to me. She's probably destroyed completely inside. I think ur a little weird and messed up that you stopped having romantic feelings about her as well, which is completely messing up her mind and self esteem. You really screwed up dude! :S

The weird thing is that she understood it pretty easily...like...i didnt even say anything and she totally honed in on what was going on... T_T... and yeah, she's going to stop talking to me for a week, which will hurt both of us, but it might be for the best...

[QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"][QUOTE="RabidChocobo1"]

[QUOTE="supras989"][QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"]dude you gotta be more than friends if thats what she wants. At least go out with her, you'll never be friends again in the long run because your going to move on with your lives. Might as well see if it can work out and if it does, your going to be close friends forever, as a couple. Think about it, I think that's what you might want.RabidChocobo1

dude, i had feelings for her too, that went away for some damn reason, hell, i asked HER out..

it can't be for no reason. we need details

i've decided, to put my feelings to rest, cried it out last night, because she now has a man as of last night, and she is changing schools in 2 weeks, the gap created will make it easier for me to move on, but i'm going to tell you that you should probably just leave it, as much as it is going to hurt her, she will move on someday, just like i will. pretty confusing stuff hey :P

[QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"][QUOTE="RabidChocobo1"][QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"][QUOTE="RabidChocobo1"]

[QUOTE="supras989"][QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"]dude you gotta be more than friends if thats what she wants. At least go out with her, you'll never be friends again in the long run because your going to move on with your lives. Might as well see if it can work out and if it does, your going to be close friends forever, as a couple. Think about it, I think that's what you might want.RabidChocobo1

dude, i had feelings for her too, that went away for some damn reason, hell, i asked HER out..

it can't be for no reason. we need details

your pretty shallow, this is EXACTLY what my friend did to me. She's probably destroyed completely inside. I think ur a little weird and messed up that you stopped having romantic feelings about her as well, which is completely messing up her mind and self esteem. You really screwed up dude! :S

The weird thing is that she understood it pretty easily...like...i didnt even say anything and she totally honed in on what was going on... T_T... and yeah, she's going to stop talking to me for a week, which will hurt both of us, but it might be for the best...

I dont want this to be a thread about me, but I was in a position that she was in. She's handling it very well I think, because when this girl was telling me all these things about how I shouldn't wait on her, and that she still loves me, but I have to get her to fall back in love with me and ETC..I kept denying it and I looked back in anger on it. I cried every night and morning thinking about her. This all happend a week ago, and now I just decided I won't talk to her for a while even though we decided to be great friends again. She's doing the rigth thing and you should respect that. But I know for a FACT, that she probably hasn't shed her last tear over you. I think you need to look deep down inside and just maybe pull out the "chance" card and reserve it in your wallet for the future. I think this might be something you look back at and laugh about with her in the future.

[QUOTE="RabidChocobo1"][QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"][QUOTE="RabidChocobo1"]

[QUOTE="supras989"][QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"]dude you gotta be more than friends if thats what she wants. At least go out with her, you'll never be friends again in the long run because your going to move on with your lives. Might as well see if it can work out and if it does, your going to be close friends forever, as a couple. Think about it, I think that's what you might want.supras989

dude, i had feelings for her too, that went away for some damn reason, hell, i asked HER out..

it can't be for no reason. we need details

i've decided, to put my feelings to rest, cried it out last night, because she now has a man as of last night, and she is changing schools in 2 weeks, the gap created will make it easier for me to move on, but i'm going to tell you that you should probably just leave it, as much as it is going to hurt her, she will move on someday, just like i will. pretty confusing stuff hey :P

On a side note, no one is answering my damn question -.-
Do i give her hope by telling her that it wasnt in any way her fault?
Or do i make it clear nothing will ever happen by lying to her and saying that it WAS her fault?
EDIT: and i dont know if i will ever have feelings for her again, but i doubt it...i dont want to give her hope and hurt her AGAINRabidChocobo1

It's simple, all you tell her is that its all your fault and that you should have kept your feelings to yourself unless you were 1000000% sure about wanting to be with her. You lead her on.

[QUOTE="RabidChocobo1"][QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"][QUOTE="RabidChocobo1"][QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"][QUOTE="RabidChocobo1"]

[QUOTE="supras989"][QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"]dude you gotta be more than friends if thats what she wants. At least go out with her, you'll never be friends again in the long run because your going to move on with your lives. Might as well see if it can work out and if it does, your going to be close friends forever, as a couple. Think about it, I think that's what you might want.MaddenBowler10

dude, i had feelings for her too, that went away for some damn reason, hell, i asked HER out..

it can't be for no reason. we need details

your pretty shallow, this is EXACTLY what my friend did to me. She's probably destroyed completely inside. I think ur a little weird and messed up that you stopped having romantic feelings about her as well, which is completely messing up her mind and self esteem. You really screwed up dude! :S

The weird thing is that she understood it pretty easily...like...i didnt even say anything and she totally honed in on what was going on... T_T... and yeah, she's going to stop talking to me for a week, which will hurt both of us, but it might be for the best...

I dont want this to be a thread about me, but I was in a position that she was in. She's handling it very well I think, because when this girl was telling me all these things about how I shouldn't wait on her, and that she still loves me, but I have to get her to fall back in love with me and ETC..I kept denying it and I looked back in anger on it. I cried every night and morning thinking about her. This all happend a week ago, and now I just decided I won't talk to her for a while even though we decided to be great friends again. She's doing the rigth thing and you should respect that. But I know for a FACT, that she probably hasn't shed her last tear over you. I think you need to look deep down inside and just maybe pull out the "chance" card and reserve it in your wallet for the future. I think this might be something you look back at and laugh about with her in the future.

On a side note, no one is answering my damn question -.-
Do i give her hope by telling her that it wasnt in any way her fault?
Or do i make it clear nothing will ever happen by lying to her and saying that it WAS her fault?
EDIT: and i dont know if i will ever have feelings for her again, but i doubt it...i dont want to give her hope and hurt her AGAINRabidChocobo1

[QUOTE="RabidChocobo1"]On a side note, no one is answering my damn question -.-
Do i give her hope by telling her that it wasnt in any way her fault?
Or do i make it clear nothing will ever happen by lying to her and saying that it WAS her fault?
EDIT: and i dont know if i will ever have feelings for her again, but i doubt it...i dont want to give her hope and hurt her AGAINMaddenBowler10

It's simple, all you tell her is that its all your fault and that you should have kept your feelings to yourself unless you were 1000000% sure about wanting to be with her. You lead her on.

I wish I could talk to your friend about this because I just went through this and I could probably help her a ton and give her tips on what she needs to do and how to handle it. My situation was almost exactly the same.

I just wonder who shes going to for help on this.

[QUOTE="RabidChocobo1"]On a side note, no one is answering my damn question -.-
Do i give her hope by telling her that it wasnt in any way her fault?
Or do i make it clear nothing will ever happen by lying to her and saying that it WAS her fault?
EDIT: and i dont know if i will ever have feelings for her again, but i doubt it...i dont want to give her hope and hurt her AGAINsupras989

[QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"]

[QUOTE="RabidChocobo1"]On a side note, no one is answering my damn question -.-
Do i give her hope by telling her that it wasnt in any way her fault?
Or do i make it clear nothing will ever happen by lying to her and saying that it WAS her fault?
EDIT: and i dont know if i will ever have feelings for her again, but i doubt it...i dont want to give her hope and hurt her AGAINRabidChocobo1

It's simple, all you tell her is that its all your fault and that you should have kept your feelings to yourself unless you were 1000000% sure about wanting to be with her. You lead her on.

well when I say you lead her on, you still did in a way. All this "love" and "feelings" stopped when you decided one day that you had none of that anymore towards her. That's a little ridiculous, but I understand kinda if thts what really happened. She probably thinks its her, and will probably always think it was her fault no matter what you say.

I wish I could talk to your friend about this because I just went through this and I could probably help her a ton and give her tips on what she needs to do and how to handle it. My situation was almost exactly the same.

I just wonder who shes going to for help on this.

MaddenBowler10

[QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"]

I wish I could talk to your friend about this because I just went through this and I could probably help her a ton and give her tips on what she needs to do and how to handle it. My situation was almost exactly the same.

I just wonder who shes going to for help on this.

supras989

yep, you gotta realize, she's handling this VERY maturely, and she is obviously doing this because she loves you this much. Her love has to in some way make your tummy tingle a little.

not much else can be said now, you've gotten a lot of help in this thread but your not helping yourself because your still undecided on what to do!

[QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"]

I wish I could talk to your friend about this because I just went through this and I could probably help her a ton and give her tips on what she needs to do and how to handle it. My situation was almost exactly the same.

I just wonder who shes going to for help on this.

supras989

You are being stupid. If you don't like her tell her. You don't have to make it all complicated and is it your fault, or my fault...who cares? You don't like her. It is not like people get to point and choose who they like and don't like...If you end up liking her someday tell her. She probably won't go for it and with good reason seeing as you change your mind about this stuff very rapidly for some reason. Usually such a rapid change is because you don't actually like her, but may want to be with her for other reasons, such as loneliness, insecurity, etc...superheromonkey

[QUOTE="superheromonkey"]You are being stupid. If you don't like her tell her. You don't have to make it all complicated and is it your fault, or my fault...who cares? You don't like her. It is not like people get to point and choose who they like and don't like...If you end up liking her someday tell her. She probably won't go for it and with good reason seeing as you change your mind about this stuff very rapidly for some reason. Usually such a rapid change is because you don't actually like her, but may want to be with her for other reasons, such as loneliness, insecurity, etc...RabidChocobo1

You can't be expected to predict the future...all you can say is that you aren't interested right now. If she wants to have hope, then that is her descision..

[QUOTE="supras989"][QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"]

I wish I could talk to your friend about this because I just went through this and I could probably help her a ton and give her tips on what she needs to do and how to handle it. My situation was almost exactly the same.

I just wonder who shes going to for help on this.

MaddenBowler10

yep, you gotta realize, she's handling this VERY maturely, and she is obviously doing this because she loves you this much. Her love has to in some way make your tummy tingle a little.

not much else can be said now, you've gotten a lot of help in this thread but your not helping yourself because your still undecided on what to do!

i know she does, and i wish she asked for a chance... i wouldve given her one, and who knows, like some people said, maybe those feelings would return...
And listen, her love makes me extremely happy, which is one of the reasons i wanted to be with her, we seemed so damn perfect....we ARE perfect....its just my damn emotions just disappeared....i want them back...but theyre gone...

You shouldn't have said anything in the first place. :D

It's very simple : If you want to be her friend, tell the truth. If you want some action, lie. Then cross the Mexican border for a few years with a new identity.

But that's a different situation entirely :D

Of course, if you're thinking ahead, you can say you have feelings for here now. Then when your feelings return (and trust me, they will), you'll be all set! :)

[QUOTE="RabidChocobo1"][QUOTE="superheromonkey"]You are being stupid. If you don't like her tell her. You don't have to make it all complicated and is it your fault, or my fault...who cares? You don't like her. It is not like people get to point and choose who they like and don't like...If you end up liking her someday tell her. She probably won't go for it and with good reason seeing as you change your mind about this stuff very rapidly for some reason. Usually such a rapid change is because you don't actually like her, but may want to be with her for other reasons, such as loneliness, insecurity, etc...superheromonkey

You can't be expected to predict the future...all you can say is that you aren't interested right now. If she wants to have hope, then that is her descision..

then do it..., what's stopping you? you gave no reason as to why u stopped those feelings, so why can't u just go back to having those feelings again? what has she done to you?MaddenBowler10

she's done Nothing, except love me...

I want to have those feelings again, but theyre just gone for some reason.
Listen, before i asked her out, i could imagine us lying in a bed together and the thought of that made me happy
But the thought of it now just feels wrong, because i dont have those feelings for her...

The few weeks before i asked her out were some of the happiest i have lived so far, because we just loved eachother without telling eachother our feelings..

Of course girls dont let go easily, and unfortuneatly the best way to get a girl to stop liking you is to piss her off.Premier1101

Another simple solution that I forgot to mention. :)

You shouldn't have said anything in the first place. :D

It's very simple : If you want to be her friend, tell the truth. If you want some action, lie. Then cross the Mexican border for a few years with a new identity.

But that's a different situation entirely :D

Of course, if you're thinking ahead, you can say you have feelings for here now. Then when your feelings return (and trust me, they will), you'll be all set! :)

TheDedMetalhead

eh, it wouldve happened eventually. If i didnt man up and asked her, she would have eventually...soon, probably too...

do you like her enough to have a relationship with her? if not, dont be close friends for a while. She will get the hint after you tell her no to a relationship. Of course girls dont let go easily, and unfortuneatly the best way to get a girl to stop liking you is to piss her off.Premier1101

have you read the part where i said "best friends"?

[QUOTE="superheromonkey"]

[QUOTE="RabidChocobo1"][QUOTE="superheromonkey"]You are being stupid. If you don't like her tell her. You don't have to make it all complicated and is it your fault, or my fault...who cares? You don't like her. It is not like people get to point and choose who they like and don't like...If you end up liking her someday tell her. She probably won't go for it and with good reason seeing as you change your mind about this stuff very rapidly for some reason. Usually such a rapid change is because you don't actually like her, but may want to be with her for other reasons, such as loneliness, insecurity, etc...RabidChocobo1

You can't be expected to predict the future...all you can say is that you aren't interested right now. If she wants to have hope, then that is her descision..

You are not hurting her, you were honest to her about it. I understand it is a sticky situation, but you can only do what you can do (as yogi berra said). At the end of the day you are best off just telling her the truth about how you feel. Her feelings are then hers to decide how to handle. Sounds insensitive, but I'm not saying not to be there for her, but don't try and manipulate her feelings even if you think its for her own protection. thats my say.

[QUOTE="MaddenBowler10"]then do it..., what's stopping you? you gave no reason as to why u stopped those feelings, so why can't u just go back to having those feelings again? what has she done to you?RabidChocobo1

she's done Nothing, except love me...

I want to have those feelings again, but theyre just gone for some reason.
Listen, before i asked her out, i could imagine us lying in a bed together and the thought of that made me happy
But the thought of it now just feels wrong, because i dont have those feelings for her...

The few weeks before i asked her out were some of the happiest i have lived so far, because we just loved eachother without telling eachother our feelings..

well maybe your just overthinking it. If it was truely meant to be, then this day was going to come where you both let out ur feelings. thats COMPLETELY normal. I think you are just way overthinking to process of it because you've always been such close friends. I know you don't want to lose if her if it don't work out, but honestly, your both still young and u should realize that u may not be friends forever as life goes on, unless ur literally together as one.

the only thing I can say is, that your friendship will never be the same as it once was. With everything that has been said and with what has happened, it almost seems like your friendship might seem a little phoney for a while because deep inside her mind, she wants you. And inside your mind, you dont know what you want but you don't want to hurt her. I think she's going to be a different person as time goes by.MaddenBowler10

Not really...you dont know how close we are... losing that over a situation like this is too severe... eventually we will be close as we were before all the romantic stuff... There was a time where i wanted her, and she didnt want me, and i cried about that for a while, but i got over it and we went back to being best friends, and i sort of lost the romantic feelings for her then, too...

All you have to do is prioritize. What's more important to you? A friend? Or a girlfriend?

Once you figure that out, the decision will be a piece of cake. :)