Do you think todays parenting has gotten better or worse compare to the 90's, 80's, 70's, 60's, 50's. If so why?

I say great. People aren't as racist, sexist, or homophobic as the earlier generations. Also, less pregnancies and high school dropouts, so that's a plus along with more of us going to college. We use less drugs than the previous generations. I love our usage of social media to keep others aware of what's going on and to educate other people. I love the invention of Wattpad and Fanfiction since it encourages my generation to read, even if it is mostly love stories.

Here is what I think is bad. Less play outside and a shittier diet. So many young kids are chubby, fat, and obese. You have 2 types of parents that are equally as trash. One of them is my aunt. She lets her kids eat ANYTHING: fast food, cookies, donuts, etc., with no vegetables outside of corn (and the OCCASIONAL salad). Her kids have loads of health problems with weight and digestion problems. My other aunt is the opposite. She tried to force my siblings and cousins to eat dried fruit (not even regular fruit), only a certain type of cereal, no snacks at all (not even smoothies or regular fruit) and wanted us to eat ground turkey instead of ground beef. This is horrible because it sends the message that healthy foods are nasty. Also, dried fruit has more sugar than regular fruit, so go figure. Then the less play outside. I love technology and television. I even use it to babysit my younger cousins. Though it's bad when they get literally NO exercise plus a shitty diet. Even as a kid, I rode a bike and played on the trampoline. Adults need to encourage their kids to have fun actively (swimming, biking, trampoline, jump rope, basketball, etc). My dad worked long hours to support us, yet he always made time to take us to the park while my mom had a home cooked meal ready. Stop having a diet of fast food and snacks, while watching TV and using technology all day.

Another thing is our scores and education. Sure we're going to college more, but our scores compared to other countries suck. We need to really rework our education system in America, because this isn't working...

Yeah, but it's highly possible that this isn't so much a case of "good parenting" as much as a case of society changing overall. I mean, it's entirely possible for one's parents to be total assholes, but for the kids to get out into the real world and see that things aren't going to work so well if they follow their parents' example.

I went with bad, don't have kids myself but seeing other kids behaviour leads me to believe that it's bad

Having kids yourself wouldn't matter. We aren't talking about YOUR kids, we're talking about kids in general. You could have the best kids in the world, but it wouldn't mean that all the other kids aren't jerks.

Anyway, I vaguely remember being a kid (thank god most of the memories have disappeared), and I distinctly remember kids being freaking shitty back then as well. That being the late 1980's. So...yeah, I figure that kids today are shitty. But Kids have been shitty for as long as I've been alive, so I'm not entirely sure that things are as bad as many people think.

It's a mixed bag. There is definitely less racism and sexism in western society but that's not a guarantee that a child will be not be raised in such conditions. You also have the case of parents being too controlling, hovering over their kids like helicopters, and you have these people who have no idea how to function in society once they leave the nest. There are a shit ton of kids being medicated for "ADHD" or their eyes will always be on some sort of screen, cause of easy parenting. Overall, I think it's better but it's no where near perfect.

worst..say one size doesn't fit all..yet only allow 1 way of disciplining kids - go to your room...lol..smacking = child abuse..etc. Kids nowadays grows up thinking they are entitled to everything...no more personal responsibility. :P

This...

Now there are problems with this generation that I won't gloss over. Especially the extremes of parenting. One is too strict and the other is too lax. The one that's too strict has their kids going to college acting a fool and getting taken advantage of, because they were never allowed to socialize and get hurt by people. I think it was best that I got hurt by a few 'friends' since it let me experience life and see the signs of a bullshitter. Sheltered kids didn't get to experience that. Then you have the ones who are just bad and wild because their parents can't/won't control them. They don't function too well since they're so used to their parent(s) bending over backwards for them and letting them get away with murder, that they can't handle a society that doesn't do the same. Then the diet and lack of exercise. It's depressing to see an obese kid. It makes me sad for them.

At the same time, kids are objectively better today. Less drug use, less pregnancies, more going to college, and more politically aware.

is a difficult question, there have been problems in the past that may have improved over time and others have gone wrong.

I used to respect my elders but after working construction in a retirement community for a couple years I've grown to realize their are as many old assholes as there are young ones. Nothing has really changed, the is the same amount of entitlement now as there was 30 years ago. The only difference is the massive boomer population is retiring, so they have nothing to do but comment on society, vote, and act like they "saw it all" like their Great Depression-and-WWII-surviving parents did.

The only thing that has changed with parenting is there seems to be a bit more hand-holding, a little less "go outside and be back by sundown" mentality. Also a little bit more of the opposite: go watch TV, play video games, mom/dad is busy...but honestly how is that different from telling a kid to go disappear outside for the day (other than the latter being healthier, more risky).

Other than that, no change.

they're certainly better at school shootings.

Parenting has definitely gotten softer, which is both good and bad. Parents nowadays take more time to understand their children but also suffer from the "my child is so special" BS...a lot of kids are still crappy just like they used to be, except now you don't get shunned because you're black, but because you don't have enough instagram followers and because teenagers are mostly (emotionally) stupid it's just as damaging to them.

I'd say it's a mixed bag. You have a lot of single mother situations where fathers are totally uninvolved with children.

But when fathers are involved, they tend to be much more involved. In the past, fathers were not doing things like changing diapers, feeding babies, or going to their kids' sports games or music recitals or whatever. They went to work while women stayed home and cared for the children. Usually they had very little involvement with the kids. Fathers when they are present are taking a much more active role now, which is good.

My father for instance has said that he barely knew his father. He was so stoic and had so little involvement in the household. He basically went to work and then came home and drank himself into a stupor. He wasn't abusive or anything. He just wasn't really there. Mad Men is a pretty accurate depiction of what fatherhood was like in the past. I think it's great that men actually want to be involved in their kids' lives now.

If you ever resort to hitting your kid, you have failed as a parent.

Children should feel safe with their parents. A huge adult hitting a small child is abuse. It's also completely awful.

People who hit their kids are absolute scum. Just like animal abusers.

I'd say it's gotten better since Gen X. My opinion of boomers as parents is pretty poor and, while the so-called greatest generation was great at a lot of things, I don't think being parents was one of those things. Not only was abuse much more common and accepted during their time, but they don't seem to have had very good relationships with their children. They seem to have been very distant, disapproving, and held high expectations while giving out little praise. Surprise, surprise, they raised a generation of self-centered, self-critical, damaged individuals who internalize all their perceived failings and project their insecurities onto their children, hence the tendency of boomers to want to control every aspect of their children's lives and the rise of helicopter parenting. And yes, this plays a part in the younger generations being less prepared to face some of life's challenges (though coming of age during an economic downturn and facing huge economic hurdles like the exploding cost of education plays a role in that, too). In my experience, though, Gen xers and millennials realize, unlike their parents, that the unrealistic expectations heaped upon them are wrong, that their parents are fallible and not part of some generation of omniscient sages, and that good parenting doesn't just constitute laying down the law but teaching children how to be caring, empathetic, and happy individuals.

l don't think too much has changed as far as actual parenting goes. We still try to raise the kids with the eventual goal of them being able to stand on their own when the time comes. As they get older, they get more responsibilities and more say in their own affairs. Eventually, us parents have to stand back and let the kids live their life the best they can.

I agree with all of this. What I would add is that boomers saw divorce as the solution to pretty much any marital problem. They didn't care what it did to their children. I think it goes along with them being very greedy and selfish people generally speaking. Boomer selfishness lead to a massive divorce epidemic in the late 70s, 80s, and early 90s, with children growing up in broken homes.

I think this is a huge part of why Gen Xers and Millennials have such a low opinion of marriage. They saw how it meant so little to their parents that they could just discard their children and their families like they meant nothing to them.

There are things that are better and things that are worse, but the simple fact dads are more involved with parenting leads me to say better over all. My grandfather was on his neighbor's roof fixing their antenna when my mother was born. They yelled up to him, "it's a girl". That's just nuts.

I voted best ever because it is, but that's not saying much as it's still bad.

Interesting

It hasn't changed at all. People say the same thing about kids as they always have "there not as respectful as the last generation", "there too entitled". They only difference is tech has changed. There's going to be bad parents and good parents. The best you can do is just to raise your kids right. I look at how my parents raised me and think about what worked, what didn't, what I didn't like as a child, what I did like and build on that.

The funny thing about that is that parents f*** up all the time. It's easy to say "if you do this, then you've failed as a parent", but it's also sort of meaningless. because then it's a case of, "okay, so i failed as a parent...but I'm still a parent, aren't I?"

Point being, your comment is sort of just casting judgement without actually offering a SOLUTION. Plenty of parents may smack their kids. Wrong? Sure. Failures as parents? Okay. So, what's the solution here? Take away their kids? Ask them to not hit their kids any more? What exactly should be done when parents "fail at parenting"?

It gotten way better than before in some aspects. Why? That is because parents nowadays are mostly open minded and the children living in this generation know what makes their self esteem low or high. The downside of this generation is most children are lack in discipline.

Take away their kids sounds like a perfectly fine solution to me. Why even have a kid if you're just going to abuse them? It's the same thing with people who abuse dogs. Why get a dog if you're just going to hit and starve it? There are plenty of people who would give that child or dog a loving home free from abuse.

Hitting doesn't even work. Both children and dogs learn by positive reinforcement. This is psychology 101 level stuff.

I should clarify, I don't think they're so much selfish as self-centered, which again, is perfectly understandable given the seeming lack of of positive reinforcement from their parents. It seems like a lot of them were just told to succeed without ever getting praised for anything, which means that they're more responsible for taking care of their own self-esteem than is typical. Ergo, they spend a lot of time focusing on themselves, which can be both a good and bad thing. I think where it really negatively affects their parenting is that they have no problem being overly self-critical, meaning they have no problem being critical of others as well, but since they're naturally inclined to focus on themselves they have a harder time empathizing and self-correcting when they act hurtful.

As for divorce, the counterpoint to that is that before boomers the standard in marriages was to just "work it out," which usually meant staying with an abusive spouse. Out of three aunts and uncles on my mom's side I've seen four divorces, and they were all a good idea. In fact, my mom probably should've left my dad as well. Better that kids have to deal with a divorce than with a failing marriage that won't end. In fact, it's been proven to be psychologically damaging for children to be in a household where parents don't know how to work their problems out in a healthy manner. It can lead to behavioral problems, lower grades, and aggressive behavior, which are ironically some of the problems commonly associated with divorce. I think it begs the question of if children of divorce are negatively impacted because of the divorce or because of the factors that led to divorce in the first place? Anyway, I don't think getting divorced is necessarily bad parenting. It's definitely bad if one parent basically just leaves and stops taking responsibility, but that's becoming less and less common.

Yeah, what's wrong with taking their kids away? It may seem unfair to the parent, but how fair is it to the kid who has to stay in that environment their entire childhood and will have to deal with behavioral problems, depression, trouble with school, and all the other terrible consequences of abuse? Not to say I agree with hitting at all, but it's probably more traumatizing to a child to be hit once out of anger than habitually spanked. Studies show that just two such incidents at a young age impair the child's ability to read social cues, irreparably hurt their self-esteem, and instill patterns of aggression as coping mechanisms. These are consequences that can completely alter the child's life and impair their ability to succeed in school and work, form healthy relationships, and even predispose them to criminal behavior. They didn't ask for that, they're completely dependent on their parents to help them learn how to be healthy, happy human beings and their parents failed them. Again, not saying it's necessarily fun to be the parent in that scenario, but the child is the real victim here.

Parents aren't (in my experience) as strict as they were before.

Tell the kid to stand or sit in a corner without anything to do. Work wonders for some at least.

Just wondering how many here are actually parents themselves?

*raises hand*

Me too. We've had two of the squealing poop-machines which is why we don't want any more kids. Well, the wife wouldn't mind a third. Not me though. I'm D-O-N-E. ;)

Anyway, I wonder how the posters here would deal with a 4-year old who has an innate curiosity about electrical wall sockets; enough so that the kid would take a fork and pry out the plastic cover?

Gets worse with each successive generation. I'm not Christian, but as we drift more and more away from a moral base, we become more lost, and that goes for parenting also.

Find something with a high enough voltage to sting, but without the Amps to hurt them?

I went with the worst yet. I work in a library... I don't think these kids even HAVE parents.

No its got worse a lot worse. Sounds like fallout that :P.

Its not the parents fault its the government as if a parent tries to punish there kids then they think they might get done. Although I did see a grandparent or looked like they where smack the legs of there grandson who was quite young. Dont no what he did wrong but dont think he would do it again and I bet those legs where red raw. If police saw or if she got reported she would have been done for abuse been the age we live in. You dammed if you do and you dammed if you dont.

Too much permissiveness leads to self entitlement. Not enough boundaries today.

I wish. The first time my kid took the cover off one receptacle, my wife went ballistic and slapped the fork out of the kid's hand. There was simply no time to waste. Naturally, the kid bawled out a river until her mom comforted her. A few weeks later, she did it again. Same thing as the first.

When she attempted to take the cover off a third time, she looked at us, listened to our shouting, and moved away. After that, no more problems with electrical outlets.

As she grew older, she finally understood that people can die. Some can die from old age (like grandma). Others can die from doing certain things or through bad combinations such as water and electricity, metal in the microwave oven, sharp objects, chemicals, etc.

Anyway, our two kids are now 22 and 10, respectively. The eldest is already an adult. I don't control her life anymore even though she still lives with us. She has enough common sense to not ruin a good thing. The only thing left for her to do is move out when she decides to.

The youngest at 10 isn't a problem either. Of course, I can't say for certain if that will hold. But, I think she's on the right track like her sister.

I think we're doing okay as parents.

Well, unless you're talking about bringing back those abysmal Dickensian orphanages, then you clearly haven't thought much about this. There are already systems in place for removing kids from abusive homes. If you're talking about expanding their power so that they can permanently take away someone's kids just because of a single smack (or ANY type of negative reinforcement, since it's been established that positive reinforcement is far more effective), then have you taken even a minute to consider just how many kids would suddenly need to be cared for by the state? Where exactly is the money for that supposed to come from?

One of the things you're forgetting is that one of the big reasons why it's not that easy to take away someone's kids is because then there'd be a SHITLOAD of kids ending up being taken away. That's an extra big problem that needs to get addressed, because then that's a LOT of kids that either need to be adopted or raised in orphanages.

Well that worked nicely it seems. I was thinking if repeated despite your best effort to prevent it, you might have to use stronger methods to get the message across. 3 times only... That's pretty quick.

In terms of discipline, much worse. Values, significantly better. Parents don't realize they can tell their child "No!" without hitting them, so kids these days are a bunch of entitled brats who think they get everything they want.

It is a mixed bag in terms of modern times versus the past.

Kids are more knowledgeable, thanks to the things that are available to them now versus 20 years ago. I remember having to go to the library to do a research paper when I was in middle school, while my kids can go on the internet instead to get the information. While the internet existed when I was in high school, it was the mid to late 90s and it wasn't nearly as available as it is now, especially when I went to school in poorer neighborhoods with smaller budgets.

On the other hand, some kids are entitled and don't appreciate what they have. Or they may be disrespectful, and their parents' hands are tied in ways they can discipline them without being accused of abuse. I am not recommending being physically abusive, but you would be surprised what can get a parent arrested depending upon where you are.

Also, technology makes it harder for kids to get away with what our parents and grandparents could get away with. Or, in the case of cyberbullying, technology makes it easier for kids to be assholes to each other.

Both.

Parents make a better effort to connect to their kids and build a relationship. That's better.

Parents have less time with their kids and are able to provide less value to their kids due to the economic pressures of this world, which leads to less discipline and less accountability. That's worse.

for all you ranting about how good parents where in the past.

keep this in mind...I am 50.

do the math, I am a product of those parents

It's either really bad or really good, isn't it? Kids trying to pass a road, in my experience, either run across without looking or thinking, the other half waits for all traffic to stop before they cross.

I don't know. I didn't see children in 80's, 70's, 60's. In 90's I was a child and I thought it was a good time. But now I rarely see children and I can't to know about their parenting.

So, you think you turned out okay? ;)

I'm in the same age age group. Although I got into a lot of fisticuffs back in my elementary school days, I still think I turned out okay.

I think I turned out great in more than one metric and better then all my peers.

but I doubt people here think that of me which is why I made the comment..;)

At 4, I think the kid's listening and reasoning abilities are better developed than say, at 2 which were probably non-existent yet. Lucky us that curiosity with wall outlets occurred later.

In subsequent similar situations, we reserved a certain tone of voice that indicated a can of whoop-ass is coming if the kids didn't cease or desist whatever they was doing. That was our pattern until they were old enough to understand our explanation of why they shouldn't do some things.

I think both kids got spanked once or twice when they were younger. They knew I'll go through with it if they pushed it. The rest of time? That tone of voice was enough. I haven't spanked them since. My youngest is 10 years old now. She's old enough where even that tone of voice is not needed. She listens to reason and she knows I wouldn't lead her astray. But, she still needs direction. For example, she's currently cut off from her gaming PC until her grades are back up.

Sounds reasonable to me. My son loves to push the limits, but he knows once he has gone to far from the tone of my voice. If he doesn't listen, he receives some sort of time out.

Def worse now

@foxhound_fox: Yeah. Know a family who are nice people themselves, but purposefully never, ever tell their children no. Their youngest hits me hard without my permission whenever I go see them and laughs(Doesn't really hurt, just the sentiment behind it) and thinks he is entitled to anything and everything. For example, we can be going out to an expensive, fancy, dinner and if their youngest doesn't like the food, then they pay and go to a different restaurant. Their oldest is okay though. (I almost pity their youngest for the day when he learns the real world is NOT like that.)