Does resorting to physical discipline on your kids make you a bad parent?

No they can't. Force can create total subservience due to a paralyzing fear of retribution, but that's not the same as respect and trust.

theone86

Exactly. This is why I oppose authoritarian parenting.

Punishment and reward make children meek and selfish, not assertive and unselfish. I agree that children should be prevented from touching hot stoves, beating up other kids, etc. but those actions don't merit punishment. Nor does helping out someone else merit some material reward.

No, if you do it constantly yes.

[QUOTE="theone86"]

No they can't. Force can create total subservience due to a paralyzing fear of retribution, but that's not the same as respect and trust.

ghoklebutter

Exactly. This is why I oppose authoritarian parenting.

Punishment and reward make children meek and selfish, not assertive and unselfish. I agree that children should be prevented from touching hot stoves, beating up other kids, etc. but those actions don't merit punishment. Nor does helping out someone else merit some material reward.

Well, reinforcement is the universally accepted form of discipline. It doesn't always have to be positive reinforcement (giving a child a gift or treat for doing a good thing), it can be negative reinforcement (time out can be viewed as an example of this, you put them in an uncomfortable situation and then remove them from that situation if they have behaved themselves). Reinforcement is also most effective when it is random (this is why slots are so addicting, because reinforcement of pulling the lever happens randomly instead of on a fixed or constant interval).

No, as long as the parent makes sure to explain to the child the reason he or she is being spanked.

No, as long as the parent makes sure to explain to the child the reason he or she is being spanked.

soulless4now

This...I don't think spanking a child is bad at all. Matter of fact, I look at it as reinforcing a point. I hope I never have to resort to it though.

It depends on how drunk you are.Jazz_Fan

I would dare to say there really isn't much debate here. It's been proven that hitting your children can have lasting phycological effects that will probably follow them into adulthood. If you children are out of control it's pretty much your fault unless they have a disability or something.

nope it doesn't Not hitting ones kids thus using negative reinforcement when they do something bad is the reason we have so many useless hippies and liberals now whom are so worried about P.C that the world is falling apart.

Its simple humans are animals no matter their higher brain function, when an animal does something bad you punish it they are less likely to do that thing, they do something good you rewards them they are more likely to do that thing its simple logic and common sense if a child needs to be punished then punish them dont be all PC and such.

with how kids act these days a good might open hand slap to the face will wake them up

nope it doesn't Not hitting ones kids thus using negative reinforcement when they do something bad is the reason we have so many useless hippies and liberals now whom are so worried about P.C that the world is falling apart.

Its simple humans are animals no matter their higher brain function, when an animal does something bad you punish it they are less likely to do that thing, they do something good you rewards them they are more likely to do that thing its simple logic and common sense if a child needs to be punished then punish them dont be all PC and such.

WilliamRLBaker

It's not about political correctness. Reward-and-punishment parenting is fundamentally irrational and makes kids have selfish motives later in life. After all, isn't someone who helps others just to avoid trouble selfish?

Motives matter, too; external behavior is meaningless without good reasons for behavior.

I was spanked, slapped a few times, and kicked once and I turned out fine, I'm on deans list twice and I can hold two jobs. My youngest brother who obviously got less of that because he was younger when the whole thing stopped is now and idiot and pain in the @$$ and me and my other brother are the ones that have to resort to giving him a whack when he's being a pain. My dad's fine with it though, my mom on the other hand hates it. I remember one time my dad told me to teach him math because he clearly wasn't trying. We went into my dad's office and I took out a rubber band. Everytime he got a problem wrong I gave him a snap in the back of the neck with the rubber band, let's just say he tried harder.

[QUOTE="WilliamRLBaker"]

nope it doesn't Not hitting ones kids thus using negative reinforcement when they do something bad is the reason we have so many useless hippies and liberals now whom are so worried about P.C that the world is falling apart.

Its simple humans are animals no matter their higher brain function, when an animal does something bad you punish it they are less likely to do that thing, they do something good you rewards them they are more likely to do that thing its simple logic and common sense if a child needs to be punished then punish them dont be all PC and such.

ghoklebutter

It's not about political correctness. Reward-and-punishment parenting is fundamentally irrational and makes kids have selfish motives later in life. After all, isn't someone who helps others just to avoid trouble selfish?

Motives matter, too; external behavior is meaningless without good reasons for behavior.

You shouldn't ever hit your children, it teachers them to be scared and fearful of you.JasonDarksavior

isnt that the point of physical disipline? so to keep the kids in line when they have done something wrong?

[QUOTE="JasonDarksavior"]You shouldn't ever hit your children, it teachers them to be scared and fearful of you.punkpunker

isnt that the point of physical disipline? so to keep the kids in line when they have done something wrong?

[QUOTE="punkpunker"]

[QUOTE="JasonDarksavior"]You shouldn't ever hit your children, it teachers them to be scared and fearful of you.JasonDarksavior

isnt that the point of physical disipline? so to keep the kids in line when they have done something wrong?

It's not nearly as bad as you may presume, but that kind of parenting is still flawed because it encourages selfish motives.ghoklebutter

if one parent has gone too far then yes.

[QUOTE="ghoklebutter"]It's not nearly as bad as you may presume, but that kind of parenting is still flawed because it encourages selfish motives.punkpunker

if one parent has gone too far then yes.

[QUOTE="JasonDarksavior"][QUOTE="punkpunker"]

isnt that the point of physical disipline? so to keep the kids in line when they have done something wrong?

ghoklebutter

[QUOTE="ghoklebutter"][QUOTE="JasonDarksavior"] I really hope not. I never thought of physical discipline that way. I thought people hit their kids to try and get them in line but to be scared of you. It would be pretty damn horrible I imagine to be scared of your parents.Nibroc420

[QUOTE="Nibroc420"]

[QUOTE="ghoklebutter"] It's not nearly as bad as you may presume, but that kind of parenting is still flawed because it encourages selfish motives.ghoklebutter

You should not need to. You should train them like you would a dog when they are young. weezyfb

Hit them with a rolled up newspaper when they are bad.

I don't see anything wrong with spanking your kids but I also don't think kids should work in coal mines, so maybe it really is for the best in the future.

Did not read all the replies but here is my 2 cents. I would rather not but when all else fails and you need to correct a nagative behavior in your child then yes.

Preferably not. There are other ways to control your kids.

Preferably not. There are other ways to control your kids.

invisibletearsx

Of course not. Raising children with a complete lack of discipline so they're almost unable to function at anything but the lowest level of society - that's being a bad parent. People physically disciplined their children for thousands of years before these self-proclaimed "experts" came along in the 1960's with their tough-feely ideas, totally unsupported by any sort of research, and for some unimaginable reason people took that nonsense seriously.

I think that physical discipline is fine so as long as it doesn't result in injuries. Physical pain is a good deterrent for bad behavior, especially at young ages when children are too young to understand the moral concepts behind the forbidden nature of certain behaviors.

What if my child says to his teacher that i spanked him, do they call child services on me?Second_Hokage

They can but they better be able to prove it or risk their job. Not everybodyis cut out to be a parent and some do abuse their children. Most parents are hard working decent people that compete with many negative influences. Kids are easily influenced and can do stupid things without the experience to understand the harm in the new behavior. I gave my kids the option get smart or get strong and would PT them.

Children do not have the reasoning skills to be reasoned with. DaBrainz

Heck no. I got my azz beat for being a prick of a child. It's all part of raising a child. I believe in punishing your kid the way you want, but there is a line that parent shouldnt cross.

[QUOTE="DaBrainz"]Children do not have the reasoning skills to be reasoned with. StRaItJaCkEt36

[QUOTE="DaBrainz"]Children do not have the reasoning skills to be reasoned with. StRaItJaCkEt36

No the child needs to come up to the adults level or the parent is not doing their job.

[QUOTE="StRaItJaCkEt36"][QUOTE="DaBrainz"]Children do not have the reasoning skills to be reasoned with. noscope-ak47

No the child needs to come up to the adults level or the parent is not doing their job.

As long as the parent isn't overly violent/angry, nothing wrong with a smack on the arse.

[QUOTE="WilliamRLBaker"]

nope it doesn't Not hitting ones kids thus using negative reinforcement when they do something bad is the reason we have so many useless hippies and liberals now whom are so worried about P.C that the world is falling apart.

Its simple humans are animals no matter their higher brain function, when an animal does something bad you punish it they are less likely to do that thing, they do something good you rewards them they are more likely to do that thing its simple logic and common sense if a child needs to be punished then punish them dont be all PC and such.

ghoklebutter

It's not about political correctness. Reward-and-punishment parenting is fundamentally irrational and makes kids have selfish motives later in life. After all, isn't someone who helps others just to avoid trouble selfish?

Motives matter, too; external behavior is meaningless without good reasons for behavior.

Do you have kids?

[QUOTE="StRaItJaCkEt36"][QUOTE="DaBrainz"]Children do not have the reasoning skills to be reasoned with. ghoklebutter

Have you ever tried to reason with a 3-year old?

Call me old fashion but all of the progressive, just put them in time out, doesn't work without some fear of what will happen if they simply refuse or leave time out early. I feel that spanking on the butt when they're younger is necessary. I'm not indicating a beating, just what parents have been doing forever and has worked. I turned out fine and I got spanked when I was young for misbehaving.

I'm for a mix of spanking and then time out when they are old enough to realize what it is for and the spanking reinforces that they stay in time out or their room. Empty threats simply don't work. "Go to timeout." "No" Go to timeout!!" "No." What now? Withhold meals?

Withhold meals?

Sunfyre7896