Having a REAL WOMAN PROBLEM please offer your advice

ok before I tell my story let it be known that Iam not some 17 yr old kid with a highschool girl problems, Iam 24 yrs ol and very mature, I work for a living i went to college and I do everything for myself now here is my story:

for everything to make since I have to go backwards for a min. when I was about 18 yrs old I met a girl online and we talked for a yr and never saw eachother, she was leaving to go to college very soon and wanted to atleast meet one time before she left, so we made plans and we met, it was love at first sight so we decided that we would stay together while she was at school, i would come down there and she would come down here whenever we could. Everything was working great we would see eachother like every 2 weeks i stay ther weekend with her and she stays with me, like within 6 months of her going to college I had met someone in my city and we talked alot , i started to go see her we had alot in common so it was great we even played video games together, so long skips a few month, i started to fall in love with her and i was slowly but surely loosing feelings for the one that is college. now this has been going on for yrs. I have been with the one that was in college for about 5 yrs and the other one for about 4 yrs. they both love me to death and would do anything for me so its hard. I know i shoudnt be doin this because they both love me and I care for both of them i dont want to hurt either one, so lets get back to present, the one from college was over my house this weekend and i thought everything would be fine because my other girl was down north caroline for the weekend but i keep my phone ringer off anyway just incase she would have called. so sunday came and she was about to drive back to college so we go outside and i help her with her bags, my other girl dirves up on me and says : so this is how it is and she starts to snap on me, we basically make a huge scene outside they r both arguing with eachother, finally my girl " the one that drives up on me "leaves and the other one that was goign back to college stays and cries for hrs. she finally leaves. Im so freakin confused i dont know what to do, my heart tells me to go with the one that drove up on me because i feel like i love her more but my better judgement tells me to go with the one that goes to college because i feel like she will love me move and we will have a better future. im so confused man, i want to propse to the one thats in my city on her birthday which is this thursday even tho i might get shot down, i feel like fi i dont make a move right away i will lose her for good. somebody tell me something.

First off, I have to ask this before I read that wall of text; did you finish college?

Because I noticed that you can't spell or type worth a damn, sorry, just makes your post a little hard to read.

wow, can you space it out a bit?lonewolf604

yes i agree it makes it so much easier to read even of the space dont make sense

After reading your wall of text, I can surmise that your age isn't a factor in your maturity or your actions.

You are acting like those 17 year old in high school with what you have created.  The fact that you need to sneak around, and turn your ringer off should've been a sign that you weren't treating either girl with any kind of respect.  I hope they both dump you.  You deserve to lose both. 

Having two women that want you is not a bad problem to have and I've been there myself.

Often times, in situations like this, you have to make the hard choice and hurt somebody's feelings.

I say go with the girl who lives in  your city. It's the only logical choice.

I love this girl more than i love myself.gamespot4life

No you don't.

You were having two, what seems to be very committed relationships, behind the back of the another woman. I doubt you could make amends with either of them. What you should be concentrating on now is apologizing to the both of them.foxhound_fox

well it just happenned lastnight but I have been callng them and texting them almost nonstop saying how sorry iam< especially to the one at college cause i feel like she is hurt the most because she realizes that I love the onether one more, i feel so dead on the inside without the one that lives in the city, i havent been able to focus all day i just keep thinking of her layin next to me in bed sleep with a smile on her face, i cant do this man i need her back

I'd say go with the one that drove up on you and lives in your city.

Although, in the end, it has to be the one you think you will have a more successful relationship with. 

[QUOTE="foxhound_fox"]You were having two, what seems to be very committed relationships, behind the back of the another woman. I doubt you could make amends with either of them. What you should be concentrating on now is apologizing to the both of them.gamespot4life

well it just happenned lastnight but I have been callng them and texting them almost nonstop saying how sorry iam< especially to the one at college cause i feel like she is hurt the most because she realizes that I love the onether one more, i feel so dead on the inside without the one that lives in the city, i havent been able to focus all day i just keep thinking of her layin next to me in bed sleep with a smile on her face, i cant do this man i need her back

[QUOTE="foxhound_fox"]You were having two, what seems to be very committed relationships, behind the back of the another woman. I doubt you could make amends with either of them. What you should be concentrating on now is apologizing to the both of them.gamespot4life

well it just happenned lastnight but I have been callng them and texting them almost nonstop saying how sorry iam< especially to the one at college cause i feel like she is hurt the most because she realizes that I love the onether one more, i feel so dead on the inside without the one that lives in the city, i havent been able to focus all day i just keep thinking of her layin next to me in bed sleep with a smile on her face, i cant do this man i need her back

Love is supposed to hurt, that's what makes it so raw. Weigh the pros and cons. Seriously consider which will be be the best move for you, don't think about who will be hurt more...That's how they get you.

[QUOTE="gamespot4life"]

[QUOTE="foxhound_fox"]You were having two, what seems to be very committed relationships, behind the back of the another woman. I doubt you could make amends with either of them. What you should be concentrating on now is apologizing to the both of them.blazinpuertoroc

well it just happenned lastnight but I have been callng them and texting them almost nonstop saying how sorry iam< especially to the one at college cause i feel like she is hurt the most because she realizes that I love the onether one more, i feel so dead on the inside without the one that lives in the city, i havent been able to focus all day i just keep thinking of her layin next to me in bed sleep with a smile on her face, i cant do this man i need her back

Iam well aware of the fact that iam an idiot for what I did and will probably never live to swallow it down, I came here for advice not for criticizm, pleasesave it for another time

as true as that may be I cant let it happen, I love this girl more than i love myself. what hurts the most is no matter what happens Iam going to lose someone and hurt someone really bad, I feel so bad because neither of them have done nothing to deserve this.gamespot4life

You don't two-time someone you love.

[QUOTE="gamespot4life"]as true as that may be I cant let it happen, I love this girl more than i love myself. what hurts the most is no matter what happens Iam going to lose someone and hurt someone really bad, I feel so bad because neither of them have done nothing to deserve this.stevenk4k5

You don't two-time someone you love.

Ah, but can you two-time TWO someones you love? Two negatives make a positive, yes?

CliffNotes, please?stevenk4k5

19-year-old dude hooks up with college-bound chick.

1 year later, hooks up with townie chick as well as seeing college-bound chick every weekend.

4 years of cheating later, townie and college chick find out about each other.

now-24-year-old thinks he's mature and needs advice on how to maintain a healthy relationship, none-the-wiser that he's going to lose both of them.

[QUOTE="stevenk4k5"]

[QUOTE="gamespot4life"]as true as that may be I cant let it happen, I love this girl more than i love myself. what hurts the most is no matter what happens Iam going to lose someone and hurt someone really bad, I feel so bad because neither of them have done nothing to deserve this.Oleg_Huzwog

You don't two-time someone you love.

Ah, but can you two-time TWO someones you love? Two negatives make a positive, yes?

No but that's life. If you can get into a situation this complicated, you can get yourself out. 

Don't be scared, just be honest. There is nothing wrong with loving two women but realistically you can't have both.

[QUOTE="stevenk4k5"]

[QUOTE="gamespot4life"]as true as that may be I cant let it happen, I love this girl more than i love myself. what hurts the most is no matter what happens Iam going to lose someone and hurt someone really bad, I feel so bad because neither of them have done nothing to deserve this.Oleg_Huzwog

You don't two-time someone you love.

Ah, but can you two-time TWO someones you love? Two negatives make a positive, yes?

[QUOTE="blazinpuertoroc"][QUOTE="gamespot4life"]

 

well it just happenned lastnight but I have been callng them and texting them almost nonstop saying how sorry iam< especially to the one at college cause i feel like she is hurt the most because she realizes that I love the onether one more, i feel so dead on the inside without the one that lives in the city, i havent been able to focus all day i just keep thinking of her layin next to me in bed sleep with a smile on her face, i cant do this man i need her back

gamespot4life

Iam well aware of the fact that iam an idiot for what I did and will probably never live to swallow it down, I came here for advice not for criticizm, pleasesave it for another time

the best thing you can do is let them both go or break ones heart and fix things with the other. Im sure you dont need gamespot to tell you. There isnt much you can do brah, I know how it feels to be hurt and regret something more than anything else.blazinpuertoroc

Good advice is rare. This is good advice ^

[QUOTE="gamespot4life"]as true as that may be I cant let it happen, I love this girl more than i love myself. what hurts the most is no matter what happens Iam going to lose someone and hurt someone really bad, I feel so bad because neither of them have done nothing to deserve this.stevenk4k5

You don't two-time someone you love.

Seriously...I mean I aint the one to judge and all but if you sleep around and then one or both of the girls get pissed off, dont be suprised. I have always wondered, why not just leave the person if you dont like them? Either way you are gonna hurt her feelings (cheating or dumping her) but atleast one way she still respects you :?

Yes I realize that TC likes both girls, but he met one of the girls first. Since he was willing to cheat he must not have luved her very much. Sure there is pure animal lust, but being in love should easily trump your overactive libido.

[QUOTE="blazinpuertoroc"]the best thing you can do is let them both go or break ones heart and fix things with the other. Im sure you dont need gamespot to tell you. There isnt much you can do brah, I know how it feels to be hurt and regret something more than anything else.Boba_Fett_3710

Good advice is rare. This is good advice ^

yes it really is, its just so hard to hurt the one in college, i mean she does everything for me.

[QUOTE="blazinpuertoroc"][QUOTE="gamespot4life"]

 

well it just happenned lastnight but I have been callng them and texting them almost nonstop saying how sorry iam< especially to the one at college cause i feel like she is hurt the most because she realizes that I love the onether one more, i feel so dead on the inside without the one that lives in the city, i havent been able to focus all day i just keep thinking of her layin next to me in bed sleep with a smile on her face, i cant do this man i need her back

gamespot4life

Iam well aware of the fact that iam an idiot for what I did and will probably never live to swallow it down, I came here for advice not for criticizm, pleasesave it for another time

You should expect to catch flack for doing something like that.  Do you want us to pat you on the back and tell you that what you did was ok?  Blazin is right, you reap what you sow; you put yourself into this situation so you have to deal with the consequences.  In the end, it's up to the either one of the girls if they even want anything to do with you, us OTers can't make them change their mind about what you did.

[QUOTE="Boba_Fett_3710"]

[QUOTE="blazinpuertoroc"]the best thing you can do is let them both go or break ones heart and fix things with the other. Im sure you dont need gamespot to tell you. There isnt much you can do brah, I know how it feels to be hurt and regret something more than anything else.gamespot4life

Good advice is rare. This is good advice ^

yes it really is, its just so hard to hurt the one in college, i mean she does everything for me.

But you can't string her along. I've been in the same situation (very very similar). My advice would be to move forward instead of moving back towards the past.

[QUOTE="Boba_Fett_3710"]

[QUOTE="blazinpuertoroc"]the best thing you can do is let them both go or break ones heart and fix things with the other. Im sure you dont need gamespot to tell you. There isnt much you can do brah, I know how it feels to be hurt and regret something more than anything else.gamespot4life

Good advice is rare. This is good advice ^

yes it really is, its just so hard to hurt the one in college, i mean she does everything for me.

well it just happenned lastnight but I have been callng them and texting them almost nonstop saying how sorry iam especially to the one at college cause i feel like she is hurt the most because she realizes that I love the onether one more, i feel so dead on the inside without the one that lives in the city, i havent been able to focus all day i just keep thinking of her layin next to me in bed sleep with a smile on her face, i cant do this man i need her backgamespot4life

You've been two-timing for over 4 years?!? That's impressive.Oleg_Huzwog

Trust Oleg to bring the win.

After reading your wall of text, I can surmise that your age isn't a factor in your maturity or your actions.

You are acting like those 17 year old in high school with what you have created.  The fact that you need to sneak around, and turn your ringer off should've been a sign that you weren't treating either girl with any kind of respect.  I hope they both dump you.  You deserve to lose both. 

FragStains

This.. I do have something to say myself though.

as true as that may be I cant let it happen, I love this girl more than i love myself. what hurts the most is no matter what happens Iam going to lose someone and hurt someone really bad, I feel so bad because neither of them have done nothing to deserve this.gamespot4life

Oh, congratulations, you've come out of your bubble for once. God, you are a real jerk aren't you? You should have told the one who is at college before you went out with the one in the city.

option 1. Convert to Islam, with Polygamy at your side you can go for Thirds aswell.

option 2. Become a preist, say to both what youve done is so bad that you have repented your sins in the name of jesus. Thus leaving you sin free, and start over again with either 1 or lie again to both.

option 3. Start a relationship with yourself, because you seem infactuated with how much affection you can get. So get to some self loving and it'll save you alot of money.

TC, the only good thing that can come from this relationship is you learning from your mistakes. Even if one of the girls forgives you, they will never trust you again. It will always be hanging over your head for the rest of your relationship. My suggestion is to move on and try to avoid these type of situations in the future.II_Seraphim_II

i understand that they may never trust me again and i deserve it, but still i love her and i just cant let go that easy, i have been around and I know that a really good woman is hard to find, here Iam with 2 of them and using both of them, i really do feel bad but that wont change anything or make them feel better, i mean look at me here Iam confused but Iam constantly thinking about trying to save the relationship with the one that lives in the city, but I just feel so bad for the one in college i mean if you were in my shoes and you see what she did for me you would feel just as bad, i mean she bought a car just so she can to home to see me more often and here Iam being a dog, she deserves so much more than that.

[QUOTE="II_Seraphim_II"]TC, the only good thing that can come from this relationship is you learning from your mistakes. Even if one of the girls forgives you, they will never trust you again. It will always be hanging over your head for the rest of your relationship. My suggestion is to move on and try to avoid these type of situations in the future.gamespot4life

i understand that they may never trust me again and i deserve it, but still i love her and i just cant let go that easy, i have been around and I know that a really good woman is hard to find, here Iam with 2 of them and using both of them, i really do feel bad but that wont change anything or make them feel better, i mean look at me here Iam confused but Iam constantly thinking about trying to save the relationship with the one that lives in the city, but I just feel so bad for the one in college i mean if you were in my shoes and you see what she did for me you would feel just as bad, i mean she bought a car just so she can to home to see me more often and here Iam being a dog, she deserves so much more than that.

Your circular logic is killing your choice, man. Just be honest and they'll have to accept.

i refuse to believe that you are very mature, and the fact that you cheated on your gf when she was away proves this fact. i mean, thats what you did, right?

also, i dont think youre telling us everything.. did your girlfriend start crying for hours because an unknown girl walked up to your house? obivously it could have been anyone. you should tell us every detail if you want our help.

tbh i think you should just follow your heart, as they say.. i mean, you cant be together with one girl if you love another girl more? its up to you, man. good luck.

[QUOTE="II_Seraphim_II"]TC, the only good thing that can come from this relationship is you learning from your mistakes. Even if one of the girls forgives you, they will never trust you again. It will always be hanging over your head for the rest of your relationship. My suggestion is to move on and try to avoid these type of situations in the future.gamespot4life

i understand that they may never trust me again and i deserve it, but still i love her and i just cant let go that easy, i have been around and I know that a really good woman is hard to find, here Iam with 2 of them and using both of them, i really do feel bad but that wont change anything or make them feel better, i mean look at me here Iam confused but Iam constantly thinking about trying to save the relationship with the one that lives in the city, but I just feel so bad for the one in college i mean if you were in my shoes and you see what she did for me you would feel just as bad, i mean she bought a car just so she can to home to see me more often and here Iam being a dog, she deserves so much more than that.

Personally I think that "true love" is paramount to insanity. But if you feel that you truly love for one of the girls and really want to be with her, then go for it. Most romantasists will tell you to "gamble everything for love" or "love conquers all" personally I think there are times when its better for you to make the rational choice than the emotion feuled "love" choice. And this is one of those times. If you go in a relationship with either of the woman, it will most probably be a ticking time bomb. But you know what? For some people its worth it. And if you are one of those people, then go for it. Just be honest with the one you want to leave, I know she did so much for you, but if you dont sort things out with her, you cant go foward. After that, You can chase after the other girl and you better beg for forgiveness. You need to show her that you changed, but if you ever cheat on her again...oh boy....lets just say you might wake up one day missing an appendage....

As long as you dont cheat on any of your partners again, then think of this as good luck rather than bad luck, because this could have happened at a worse time, like when you were married and had kids.

i refuse to believe that you are very mature, and the fact that you cheated on your gf when she was away proves this fact. i mean, thats what you did, right?

also, i dont think youre telling us everything.. did your girlfriend start crying for hours because an unknown girl walked up to your house? obivously it could have been anyone. you should tell us every detail if you want our help.

tbh i think you should just follow your heart, as they say.. i mean, you cant be together with one girl if you love another girl more? its up to you, man. good luck.

escapeoftheape

yes iam leaving stuff out thats because i wanted to keep it short enough so people would want to read it, but i will answer any questions. and the one from college was kinda on to me that something funny was going on because some weekends i would tell her not to come home because i was busy and she claims that one of her friends seen me with someone before, its more than that but its just too much to type

[QUOTE="gamespot4life"]

[QUOTE="II_Seraphim_II"]TC, the only good thing that can come from this relationship is you learning from your mistakes. Even if one of the girls forgives you, they will never trust you again. It will always be hanging over your head for the rest of your relationship. My suggestion is to move on and try to avoid these type of situations in the future.II_Seraphim_II

i understand that they may never trust me again and i deserve it, but still i love her and i just cant let go that easy, i have been around and I know that a really good woman is hard to find, here Iam with 2 of them and using both of them, i really do feel bad but that wont change anything or make them feel better, i mean look at me here Iam confused but Iam constantly thinking about trying to save the relationship with the one that lives in the city, but I just feel so bad for the one in college i mean if you were in my shoes and you see what she did for me you would feel just as bad, i mean she bought a car just so she can to home to see me more often and here Iam being a dog, she deserves so much more than that.

Personally I think that "true love" is paramount to insanity. But if you feel that you truly love for one of the girls and really want to be with her, then go for it. Most romantasists will tell you to "gamble everything for love" or "love conquers all" personally I think there are times when its better for you to make the rational choice than the emotion feuled "love" choice. And this is one of those times. If you go in a relationship with either of the woman, it will most probably be a ticking time bomb. But you know what? For some people its worth it. And if you are one of those people, then go for it. Just be honest with the one you want to leave, I know she did so much for you, but if you dont sort things out with her, you cant go foward. After that, You can chase after the other girl and you better beg for forgiveness. You need to show her that you changed, but if you ever cheat on her again...oh boy....lets just say you might wake up one day missing an appendage....

As long as you dont cheat on any of your partners again, then think of this as good luck rather than bad luck, because this could have happened at a worse time, like when you were married and had kids.

thank you for your advice, i will use it wisely

:lol: So THIS is what it's like to be on the other end of the drama.

No wonder my friends thought it was so funny. Hey, you should be able to look back at this and chuckle.

Until then though, focus on picking one from the two, or consider ditching them both.