How the hell do you ask a girl out?

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lonewolf604

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#1 lonewolf604
Member since 2007 • 8748 Posts

Here's my situation:

My friend comes in with his friends at my restaurant, when I was working. He introduces me to them, I chat, blah blah.

They're pretty nice, but I had to leave and get back to work. Then my damn boss and coworker decide to give my number on a napkin to one of the girls, and my friend initially said she was going to text me. Apparently she was too shy so I had to take initiative to get her number and text her myself. I'm really really shy and I was really nervous doing so, lol...

Anyway, my objective isn't so much to get her to be my girlfriend...but to maybe...ask her to hang out? get to know her? I don't know, I wasn't very good at this in the first place, so this could be good experience for me. But hey, if it happens it happens I guess...

I have her number, and also have her on MSN. Instead of just IMing or texting I want to ask her out maybe...mind you I only met her prior to the weekend, and texted her yestarday. How would I ask her out?

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Solid_Tango

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#2 Solid_Tango
Member since 2009 • 8609 Posts
You: hey, i m the guy from the restaurant, remember me? :p well you seen like a nice interesting girl, would you like to go out some day and do something? well hit me up bye :) dont sound desperate and dont txt her again if she doesnt answer the first time, let her know u are interested but dont be desperate ;) hope it helps
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tim22000

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#3 tim22000
Member since 2008 • 530 Posts

heyyyyyy i hear you like movies wanna see one together sometime.

(who doesent like movies)

before you know you will be reproducing.

/thread.

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lonewolf604

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#4 lonewolf604
Member since 2007 • 8748 Posts
[QUOTE="Solid_Tango"]You: hey, i m the guy from the restaurant, remember me? :p well you seen like a nice interesting girl, would you like to go out some day and do something? well hit me up bye :) dont sound desperate and dont txt her again if she doesnt answer the first time, let her know u are interested but dont be desperate ;) hope it helps

hehe funny enough i already did the first part "remember me?" but now i don't know what to do. i have her on MSN, we texted each other already. but i don't know how to continue it. i always get the feeling that i'm bothering her, because its always ME having to message people.
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CrystalFox

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#5 CrystalFox
Member since 2006 • 9908 Posts

"Wanna go out sometime?"

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DJ_Lae

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#6 DJ_Lae
Member since 2002 • 42748 Posts
Just ask her if she wants to get together for coffee or lunch or something. No need to elaborate or get fancy, there will be plenty of time for that once you're together. Also, this may just be me showing my age, but if you're going to ask her out call her and ask her - don't text or IM.
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Solid_Tango

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#7 Solid_Tango
Member since 2009 • 8609 Posts

[QUOTE="Solid_Tango"]You: hey, i m the guy from the restaurant, remember me? :p well you seen like a nice interesting girl, would you like to go out some day and do something? well hit me up bye :) dont sound desperate and dont txt her again if she doesnt answer the first time, let her know u are interested but dont be desperate ;) hope it helpslonewolf604
hehe funny enough i already did the first part "remember me?" but now i don't know what to do. i have her on MSN, we texted each other already. but i don't know how to continue it. i always get the feeling that i'm bothering her, because its always ME having to message people.

Yeah i know how you feel, i had similar experiences. Well what i think you should do its, let her know you are interested invited her like i posted above, and wait for her to make her move, dont rush anything aight ? Be cool and remember that you have nothing to lose dont be nervous :) good luck and keep us posted

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XilePrincess

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#8 XilePrincess
Member since 2008 • 13130 Posts
Tell her who you are, and ask her if she'd like to hang out to get to know each other better. Don't beat around the bush, don't try and be sly, don't be subtle. Just ask her straight out what you want, and that's all. No girl enjoys standing in front of the mirror looking back and forth from herself to her text message wondering "what he meant by that" and if she's dressed right for it. Be very clear as to whether it's a date or a friends thing.
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DigitalExile

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#9 DigitalExile
Member since 2008 • 16046 Posts

heyyyyyy i hear you like movies wanna see one together sometime.

(who doesent like movies)

before you know you will be reproducing.

/thread.

tim22000

The succinctness of this post made me lol.

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shoot-first

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#10 shoot-first
Member since 2004 • 9788 Posts

Tell her that you were wondering if she would want to hang out or go to the movies some time. (I usually go straight for the secks part) :P

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lonewolf604

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#11 lonewolf604
Member since 2007 • 8748 Posts
Tell her who you are, and ask her if she'd like to hang out to get to know each other better. Don't beat around the bush, don't try and be sly, don't be subtle. Just ask her straight out what you want, and that's all. No girl enjoys standing in front of the mirror looking back and forth from herself to her text message wondering "what he meant by that" and if she's dressed right for it. Be very clear as to whether it's a date or a friends thing.XilePrincess
The problem with me is, I always think "what if". I'd rather not do anything as to avoid asking her and risk being rejected... And also another problem is, we're basically strangers to each other. This is something I've never been faced with before. Everyone before was a mutual friend, but this girl and I only have ONE mutual "friend", (and my friend isn't even that close to her either). She could be friends with guys she already likes! Who am I to them...is what I always think about.
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Scarebaby

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#12 Scarebaby
Member since 2008 • 1273 Posts

Just flat out ask her if she wants to go out with you. Even if she doesn't even like you she'll be too flattered to turn you down. Trust me, I know.

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Solid_Tango

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#13 Solid_Tango
Member since 2009 • 8609 Posts
[QUOTE="XilePrincess"]Tell her who you are, and ask her if she'd like to hang out to get to know each other better. Don't beat around the bush, don't try and be sly, don't be subtle. Just ask her straight out what you want, and that's all. No girl enjoys standing in front of the mirror looking back and forth from herself to her text message wondering "what he meant by that" and if she's dressed right for it. Be very clear as to whether it's a date or a friends thing.lonewolf604
The problem with me is, I always think "what if". I'd rather not do anything as to avoid asking her and risk being rejected... And also another problem is, we're basically strangers to each other. This is something I've never been faced with before. Everyone before was a mutual friend, but this girl and I only have ONE mutual "friend", (and my friend isn't even that close to her either). She could be friends with guys she already likes! Who am I to them...is what I always think about.

You have nothing to lose :| just ask her out
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Travo_basic

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#14 Travo_basic
Member since 2003 • 38751 Posts
just ask her to hang sometime, maybe go to a movie or get something to eat.
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Kenny789

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#15 Kenny789
Member since 2006 • 10434 Posts

"Wanna go out sometime?"

CrystalFox
This works.
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Dogswithguns

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#16 Dogswithguns
Member since 2007 • 11359 Posts
Talk about movies with her first, then if she likes movies then say let's go see a movie sometimes.... after that you two may go eat out at fast food some place.
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Homiegesus

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#17 Homiegesus
Member since 2003 • 5706 Posts

This is going to sound like the most obvious advice you have heard a million times but there are only two paths you can take being a shy person.

1. Find your voice socially, be confident in who you are, and not think thoughts that are made up in regards to social interactions.

2. Be yourself and if the person doesn't like it then move on to someone else. If you don't like the fact that she doesn't like you then you must be looking for a casual relationship which would revert you back to achieving #1. You can infact continue to be a shy person and find a girl that is meant for you and won't care about your social interactive problems.

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weezyfb

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#18 weezyfb
Member since 2009 • 14703 Posts
" ho you doin ma" "hey you come here often" "wanna get with me"
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Blazed

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#19 Blazed
Member since 2005 • 2947 Posts

Grow a nut sack, it ain't that complicated. If she doesn't like you move on, we all go through it.

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ExpiredGhost

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#20 ExpiredGhost
Member since 2010 • 528 Posts
Just ask her out to do something. Ask her to go eat some wheres and go see a movie.
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Xx_Hopeless_xX

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#21 Xx_Hopeless_xX
Member since 2009 • 16562 Posts

"Oh Hai, You can haz to be mai Girlfriend Pliz..kthnxbai"..:P

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Engrish_Major

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#22 Engrish_Major
Member since 2007 • 17373 Posts
You're a level 33, right? Just slip that nonchalantly into the conversation. I guarantee positive results.
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WeaponXY

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#23 WeaponXY
Member since 2009 • 1280 Posts

"Wanna go out sometime?"

CrystalFox
[/Thread]
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deactivated-5c37d3adcd094

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#24 deactivated-5c37d3adcd094
Member since 2006 • 8362 Posts
"Hey, how would you like to do _____ with me sometime?" Fill in the blank yourself, with basically anything except the word 'intercourse'.
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Engrish_Major

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#25 Engrish_Major
Member since 2007 • 17373 Posts
"Hey, how would you like to do _____ with me sometime?" Fill in the blank yourself, with basically anything except the word 'intercourse'.kamikaze_pigmy
How about snu-snu?
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deactivated-5c37d3adcd094

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#26 deactivated-5c37d3adcd094
Member since 2006 • 8362 Posts
[QUOTE="kamikaze_pigmy"]"Hey, how would you like to do _____ with me sometime?" Fill in the blank yourself, with basically anything except the word 'intercourse'.Engrish_Major
How about snu-snu?

Yeah. The ladies are into that.
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Atmanix

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#29 Atmanix
Member since 2009 • 6927 Posts

Nice shoes...

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DigitalExile

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#30 DigitalExile
Member since 2008 • 16046 Posts

If I re-read the OP correctly he states that the girl is already interested?

Why is there an issue? :/

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peaceoutmedusa

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#31 peaceoutmedusa
Member since 2010 • 2130 Posts
[QUOTE="XilePrincess"]Tell her who you are, and ask her if she'd like to hang out to get to know each other better. Don't beat around the bush, don't try and be sly, don't be subtle. Just ask her straight out what you want, and that's all. No girl enjoys standing in front of the mirror looking back and forth from herself to her text message wondering "what he meant by that" and if she's dressed right for it. Be very clear as to whether it's a date or a friends thing.lonewolf604
The problem with me is, I always think "what if". I'd rather not do anything as to avoid asking her and risk being rejected... And also another problem is, we're basically strangers to each other. This is something I've never been faced with before. Everyone before was a mutual friend, but this girl and I only have ONE mutual "friend", (and my friend isn't even that close to her either). She could be friends with guys she already likes! Who am I to them...is what I always think about.

Rejected". Who cares, if she says no, then it isnt the end of the world. Everyone has been rejected before.
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metalpower08

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#32 metalpower08
Member since 2007 • 1254 Posts

EMERGENCY WARNING. STOP READING THREAD NOW. IT IS FULL OF FAIL.

Seriously, this might as well be ending up in friends zone 101

First we need to know what did you talk about with her when you met her?

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Cpt-Obvious

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#33 Cpt-Obvious
Member since 2010 • 170 Posts

Call, don't text her, and ask her to the movies, or ask if she wants to go out for supper, or for a walk, or go bowling, or anything really. The activity isn't as important as it is showing confidence and asing her out, as well as the conversation during whatever you guys decided on doing.

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immortality20

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#34 immortality20
Member since 2005 • 8546 Posts

Last time I asked a girl out it was a cashier. She asked me if I had any plans for New Years (it was like Dec 29th or something) and I said no and asked her and she said no plans just staying home watching a movie. So I took this as a sign and asked if her if she wanted company and then she pulled the boyfriend card. I 100% believe I was tricked.:x

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deactivated-5e836a855beb2

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#35 deactivated-5e836a855beb2
Member since 2005 • 95573 Posts
you have her number? Just ask her if she wants to go do something :S
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nocoolnamejim

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#36 nocoolnamejim
Member since 2003 • 15136 Posts
Try something straightforward: "Hey, I know that we only met recently, but I'm interested in getting to know you a little better. Want to hang out sometime? Maybe grab lunch?" Go for something light. First dates, at least ones with people you barely know, should be low pressure and casual things.
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koospetoors

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#37 koospetoors
Member since 2004 • 3715 Posts
Just be yourself around her and get to know her, just don't act like she's some space alien or something and for gods sake, don't forget her name!! But for a start, just call her and ask her how her day was and try expanding things from there on, like start asking about her hobbies and favorite things. and if all else fails: slap her across the face, turn around and moonwalk outta there.
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metalpower08

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#38 metalpower08
Member since 2007 • 1254 Posts

k fine, since you won't tell me here is a canned line a lot of others have used but it can work well.

Hi it was lovely to meet you. Shame we didn't get longer to talk/I hope you got back safe. p.s. do you like roasted marshmallows!

So we both like marshmallows! Cool, you have some sweet tooth, hu! :-) p.s. you like red or white wine?

Red/white wine girl eh? And champagne goes well with anything! :-) p.s. what's your favourite movie genre – romance, comedy or horror?

Excellent! We shall have to have a DVD, wine and marshmallows evening! :-) p.s. I hope you are good at picking one of them, would you rather pick the wine or the DVD?

Cool! :-) I shall trust your excellent taste! Lets meet @ (name of bar or whatever), 7 or 8 o'clock?

Her:What about the marshmallow evening?

you again: I don't like (whatever colour of wine she chose) with winking smiley or something

Marshmallow NOTES

-This is good because she has a mental image of the two of you in a more intimate setting without you actually having to go through with it while there is not enough comfort/connection between you

-She already envisions herself with you on a future date before you even get to the first one which will no doubt spure up some romantic feelings for you

-This does have a small risk of coming off to strong in which case she will probably flake you or give you short one or two word answers. What you then do is reply with something funny "don't play hard to get with a guy who is hard to get ;)" or "you didn't reply are you okay? did something happen to you or a family member? I'm so sorry." I think this second option is great because it makes it look like you have never been flaked before. Never been flaked before = high value

-p.s. Everything has an easy question to answer "p.s." with options. Options give an illusion of choice but actually constrains her and keeps her on the 'yes' ladder.

-Using her name is good at the start. It she's got a nickname or can construct a good one could use that instead e.g. "such and such girl" or "Ms such and such"… but only if it's really good.

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Deathxcore

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#39 Deathxcore
Member since 2007 • 1786 Posts
Just casually ask her if she wants to hang out or go do something. Don't make it seem like it really matters to you. Life goes on whether or not she says yes.
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Deathxcore

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#40 Deathxcore
Member since 2007 • 1786 Posts
Or.. *unzip* *thud*
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mindstorm

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#41 mindstorm
Member since 2003 • 15255 Posts

"Wanna go out sometime?"

CrystalFox
You can't pose it as a question, things like this require a forceful declaration that she is going out with you. Just make sure you tell everyone else first, we wouldn't want your yelling and throwing of things to catch her off guard. But seriously, simply asking a simple question like that is very likely enough. If you have the personality for it, you can be more original in your asking.
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jpph

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#42 jpph
Member since 2005 • 3337 Posts

You: hey, i m the guy from the restaurant, remember me? :p well you seen like a nice interesting girl, would you like to go out some day and do something? well hit me up bye :) dont sound desperate and dont txt her again if she doesnt answer the first time, let her know u are interested but dont be desperate ;) hope it helpsSolid_Tango

this would work. the fact is, if you're confident, you can carry off any retarded line. act confident!

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D_Battery

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#43 D_Battery
Member since 2009 • 2478 Posts
Be like "Hey, so I heard you like to do... stuff."
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mrbojangles25

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#44 mrbojangles25
Member since 2005 • 60850 Posts

1. Call, dont text, dont instant message. Simply be like "Hi, this is _____, we met a couple days ago. What are you doing tomarow?" or something like that.

Well, I was going to go into a whole multistep process but, honestly, there is only one step. And if she says she cant, dont get all flustered, just ask when a good time works for her. Be flexible and make clear you want to hang out with her, but not needy

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Lockedge

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#46 Lockedge
Member since 2002 • 16765 Posts

Here's my situation:

My friend comes in with his friends at my restaurant, when I was working. He introduces me to them, I chat, blah blah.

They're pretty nice, but I had to leave and get back to work. Then my damn boss and coworker decide to give my number on a napkin to one of the girls, and my friend initially said she was going to text me. Apparently she was too shy so I had to take initiative to get her number and text her myself. I'm really really shy and I was really nervous doing so, lol...

Anyway, my objective isn't so much to get her to be my girlfriend...but to maybe...ask her to hang out? get to know her? I don't know, I wasn't very good at this in the first place, so this could be good experience for me. But hey, if it happens it happens I guess...

I have her number, and also have her on MSN. Instead of just IMing or texting I want to ask her out maybe...mind you I only met her prior to the weekend, and texted her yestarday. How would I ask her out?

lonewolf604

Example A: "So hey, I'm heading over to the cinema to see X movie around X:XX, Wondering if you'd like to come with". Or some similarly worded question that lets her know you're doing X activity, and that either way, you're going to do it with or without her there; all the while giving her the option to accept or decline without pressure.

It doesn't need to be movies, that was just the first that came to mind(I actually don't like the idea of seeing a movie with a single other person as it's not very social). Could be for food, or just some exercize that you're wondering if she'd like to tag along, or whatever. There's a plethora of options. Just let it be casual, and don't apply pressure either. If she accepts, be casual about it. if she declines, apply the same logic.

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Lockedge

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#47 Lockedge
Member since 2002 • 16765 Posts

[QUOTE="Solid_Tango"]You: hey, i m the guy from the restaurant, remember me? :p well you seen like a nice interesting girl, would you like to go out some day and do something? well hit me up bye :) dont sound desperate and dont txt her again if she doesnt answer the first time, let her know u are interested but dont be desperate ;) hope it helpsjpph

this would work. the fact is, if you're confident, you can carry off any retarded line. act confident!

This is the truth, really. My friend called up a girl he met one night at a concert asking if she'd like to meet up for some mid-afternoon schnitzel. It worked.
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KungfuKitten

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#48 KungfuKitten
Member since 2006 • 27389 Posts

Jees it's very easy. Treat her like You want to, she is a nice person right?
Don't be all obsessive about it. Don't worry so much. Hey You should think twice what kind of girl You want to settle down with and if You know, then it is much easier to do those things.
Like i would be looking for a nice and understanding person, so if i am really nervous and afraid that i might give the special someone the wrong impression then i can simply say that. Some will accept it, and that's a bingo.
You are exploring her too, keep that in mind.

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deactivated-5e836a855beb2

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#49 deactivated-5e836a855beb2
Member since 2005 • 95573 Posts
My friend called up a girl he met one night at a concert asking if she'd like to meet up for some mid-afternoon schnitzel. It worked. Lockedge
Is that what it's called these days? I'm so out of touch :cry:
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Lockedge

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#50 Lockedge
Member since 2002 • 16765 Posts
[QUOTE="Lockedge"]My friend called up a girl he met one night at a concert asking if she'd like to meet up for some mid-afternoon schnitzel. It worked. Jandurin
Is that what it's called these days? I'm so out of touch :cry:

Actually, they did go out for Schnitzel at the nearest "Schnitzel hut" restaurant establishment. Although yes, they later hooked up as well.