I don't understand women......

Generalizations are fun. If all women wanted to be with jerks, the successful marriage rate would be in the toilet being flushed into the sewers. It is all about finding the right woman for you.foxhound_fox

Ummm half of marriages already end in divorce and there is much to question as to whether or not the ones that don't end in divorce are healthy or happy marriages....

what you need ot understand is that women are arrtacted the most to this.........................it isn't looks so everyone quit it with the "i'm too ugly **** What they like most about guys is the way they make them feel. you canlt be that run of the mill average "wuss" type that goes up to a girl and says "Excuse me, I think you're very beautiful, would you like to dance??" What you do is go up to her and say "You know, I've noticed you've been checking me out quite a lot, so I guess I can do you a favor and give you one dance."

firebreathing

this guy hit the nail on the head... confidence is paramount. At the end of the day even the ugliest dude can throw on some decent clothes, put on a nice aftershave and gel his hair up a bit. As long as you come across confidently and make a girl feel good about herself then you'll be okay.

Even if you are "hot" but you come across as a nervous clumsy wreck then a girl wont be into you anyway.

Generalizations are fun. If all women wanted to be with jerks, the successful marriage rate would be in the toilet being flushed into the sewers. It is all about finding the right woman for you.foxhound_fox

Um, not quite sure when's the last time you checked the statistics. But 53% of marriages today end in failure in the first 6 years.

Seriously.

I don't even know if women today actually want to be with nice guys. All the relationships I see anymore are of women with jerks. I've dated a number of times but how it ends never makes sense to me. My previous relationship ended in a way that didn't even make sense to me. She and her friends had stated numerous times that they were glad she ended up with a "nice guy" for once that would treat her right (which I did). But she didn't want to go to college as a virgin and broke up with me because I wouldn't "put out", so she went and slept with one of her ex's. Now I've been labelled as a jerk by her and her friends.

I seriously don't understand women. Many say they want a nice guy to treat them with respect, but is this all a lie? I know plenty of great guys, but they never get dates because of that very reason. So what's going on here girls? Do women want guys who will respect them even more, or has society changed somuch that we are a turn off?

Sparticus247

It truth, it sounds like she was using you. She knew you were a nice guy and used that for her advantage, but all in all, she left you since you wouldn't give what she wanted. Sounds like she was a waste of your time.

Um, not quite sure when's the last time you checked the statistics. But 53% of marriages today end in failure in the first 6 years.manic626

Ummm half of marriages already end in divorce and there is much to question as to whether or not the ones that don't end in divorce are healthy or happy marriages....Thechaninator

[QUOTE="CuddlesTheBunny"]I'm gonna be going to college next year too, and it's stupid to think you'll be a loser if you don't put out. I actually find it a turn off if I find out that my girlfriend isn't a virgin. Thechaninator

I find that outlook stupid, but at the same time I am not gonna let someones past get in the way of a relationship. So what if she isn't a virgin? As long as she hasn't slept with half her college/high school then no biggie. Mine as well have someone with experience help teach you in the bedroom....

They are complicated and get upset about little things during relationships I've noticed. They take things too seriously and exaggerate it. Every girlfriend I've ever had played these "trust games" on me where they would make a horrible lie up to me to see my response and how much I care about them and what not. Telling me you just had sex with your ex and then telling me it was just some sort of test is a good way to kill all of my trust in you, and tick me the hell off. I've always been nice and straightforward to all the girls I've dated, and tried to be as far away as complicated as I can. Zaeryn

You've had that too? It was a little different with me, they would say a few things and would try to get me angry, to see what I would do and say once I got ticked off. That or decide one day to brush me off and act angry with me and see how I would respod and ammend the situation.

Idk if this is common bet man are they some very odd tactics:?

Seriously.

I don't even know if women today actually want to be with nice guys. All the relationships I see anymore are of women with jerks. I've dated a number of times but how it ends never makes sense to me. My previous relationship ended in a way that didn't even make sense to me. She and her friends had stated numerous times that they were glad she ended up with a "nice guy" for once that would treat her right (which I did). But she didn't want to go to college as a virgin and broke up with me because I wouldn't "put out", so she went and slept with one of her ex's. Now I've been labelled as a jerk by her and her friends.

I seriously don't understand women. Many say they want a nice guy to treat them with respect, but is this all a lie? I know plenty of great guys, but they never get dates because of that very reason. So what's going on here girls? Do women want guys who will respect them even more, or has society changed somuch that we are a turn off?

Sparticus247

Being nice and being celibate are not synonamous. Maybe you've been watching too much porn, but there's nothing disrespectful about sleeping with your girl.

[QUOTE="Sparticus247"]

Seriously.

I don't even know if women today actually want to be with nice guys. All the relationships I see anymore are of women with jerks. I've dated a number of times but how it ends never makes sense to me. My previous relationship ended in a way that didn't even make sense to me. She and her friends had stated numerous times that they were glad she ended up with a "nice guy" for once that would treat her right (which I did). But she didn't want to go to college as a virgin and broke up with me because I wouldn't "put out", so she went and slept with one of her ex's. Now I've been labelled as a jerk by her and her friends.

I seriously don't understand women. Many say they want a nice guy to treat them with respect, but is this all a lie? I know plenty of great guys, but they never get dates because of that very reason. So what's going on here girls? Do women want guys who will respect them even more, or has society changed somuch that we are a turn off?

darkmoney52

Being nice and being celibate are not synonamous. Maybe you've been watching too much porn, but there's nothing disrespectful about sleeping with your girl.

It was this particular situation that threw me. She said she felt like she shouldn't be a virgin once she got to college, I told her that it really isn't that big of a eal, as there are a lot of people who are still virgins in college. She said no, everyone is definetly not a virgin and that she didn't want to be considered wierd. Well I wasn't goin to have sex with her just because she felt that society told us to, that;s just not right. Well she got pissed and the rest is history.

Believe me, I don't plan on living my life as a celibate, but having sex just because of societal pressure isn't right.

I find something very comical about your girlfriend running off and sleeping with another dude because you wouldnt put out. Its usually the other way around.

Anyway. Dont try to understand them. Just find one thats submissive so you dont have to answer any questions.

I think men are just as capable of mind games, secret tests and emotional blackmail.

One of my exs used to play weird mind games with me and do little tests... I really hated it because I can't stand being manipulated. And I don't manipulate men either coz I'm a nice person.

[QUOTE="Thechaninator"]

[QUOTE="CuddlesTheBunny"]I'm gonna be going to college next year too, and it's stupid to think you'll be a loser if you don't put out. I actually find it a turn off if I find out that my girlfriend isn't a virgin. CuddlesTheBunny

I find that outlook stupid, but at the same time I am not gonna let someones past get in the way of a relationship. So what if she isn't a virgin? As long as she hasn't slept with half her college/high school then no biggie. Mine as well have someone with experience help teach you in the bedroom....

Well a bit of jealousy is definitely normal. I just wouldn't let that get in the way and I am definitely going to control my jealousy once in a relationship.

you know, I was always that girl who would go for the so called "nice guys". I'd never be attracted to jerks, and I went for the nice guys who weren't as attractive but who supposedly treated women right, and I can tell you from experience that every single one ended up being the biggest jerk, worse than the other so called "jerks" women go for. so maybe, nice guys don't get girls because they aren't as nice as they think. Pearl_of_Egypt

I am sorry but I think you got tricked many a time.

There are actual nice guys like myself and then there are the guys who ACT nice to try and get in your pants.

Believe me, I have a friend who has had her heart broken many times because she thought a guy was nice and then he eventually showed his true face at some point...

Thats one more thing I hate about being a nice guy. I am always afraid that I will be mistaken as a faker....

[QUOTE="Pearl_of_Egypt"]you know, I was always that girl who would go for the so called "nice guys". I'd never be attracted to jerks, and I went for the nice guys who weren't as attractive but who supposedly treated women right, and I can tell you from experience that every single one ended up being the biggest jerk, worse than the other so called "jerks" women go for. so maybe, nice guys don't get girls because they aren't as nice as they think. Thechaninator

I am sorry but I think you got tricked many a time.

There are actual nice guys like myself and then there are the guys who ACT nice to try and get in your pants.

Believe me, I have a friend who has had her heart broken many times because she thought a guy was nice and then he eventually showed his true face at some point...

Thats one more thing I hate about being a nice guy. I am always afraid that I will be mistaken as a faker....

no these weren't the kind of guys pretending to be nice to get in my pants. they were the kind of nice, shy guys that women tend to ignore. I always liked them for their personality, but then I would always find out along the way what kind of people they really were. and in some cases, they were the nice, fun guys that supposedly respected women, and they still ended up being jerks. the nice guys are only nice when they have no or little experience with women, and once they get over that, that's when their true face comes out. not saying all nice guys, you may be a real nice one, but in my experience it was pretty much all of them.

[QUOTE="darkmoney52"][QUOTE="Sparticus247"]

Seriously.

I don't even know if women today actually want to be with nice guys. All the relationships I see anymore are of women with jerks. I've dated a number of times but how it ends never makes sense to me. My previous relationship ended in a way that didn't even make sense to me. She and her friends had stated numerous times that they were glad she ended up with a "nice guy" for once that would treat her right (which I did). But she didn't want to go to college as a virgin and broke up with me because I wouldn't "put out", so she went and slept with one of her ex's. Now I've been labelled as a jerk by her and her friends.

I seriously don't understand women. Many say they want a nice guy to treat them with respect, but is this all a lie? I know plenty of great guys, but they never get dates because of that very reason. So what's going on here girls? Do women want guys who will respect them even more, or has society changed somuch that we are a turn off?

Sparticus247

Being nice and being celibate are not synonamous. Maybe you've been watching too much porn, but there's nothing disrespectful about sleeping with your girl.

It was this particular situation that threw me. She said she felt like she shouldn't be a virgin once she got to college, I told her that it really isn't that big of a eal, as there are a lot of people who are still virgins in college. She said no, everyone is definetly not a virgin and that she didn't want to be considered wierd. Well I wasn't goin to have sex with her just because she felt that society told us to, that;s just not right. Well she got pissed and the rest is history.

Believe me, I don't plan on living my life as a celibate, but having sex just because of societal pressure isn't right.

I'm sorry you got dumped but I agree with Sparticus there is nothing wrong with having sex. Having sex with a girl doesn't make you a bad guy. I understand why you wouldn't and if you weren't ready its a good thing you didn't have sex. That being said, there are a lot of virgins in college however, at least where I go to school it isn't the norm and it does turn some heads if someone says they are still a virgin.

To me it doesn't seem like your ex girlfriend doesn't like nice guys. It just seems that you both wanted different things out of this relationship and that is why it ended. It sucks for you, but I just find it hard to blame it on her not really wanting a "nice guy."

Since the days of the Caveman women are attracted by strong and dominant man. Evolution from our ancestors...

It all makes sense... don't worry too much about and just search for another women.

i think when it became common knowledge that girls liked jerks it was the downfall of western society.

sure there are nice girls that like normal guys but they all have one thing in common: there not single

[QUOTE="Thechaninator"]

[QUOTE="Pearl_of_Egypt"]you know, I was always that girl who would go for the so called "nice guys". I'd never be attracted to jerks, and I went for the nice guys who weren't as attractive but who supposedly treated women right, and I can tell you from experience that every single one ended up being the biggest jerk, worse than the other so called "jerks" women go for. so maybe, nice guys don't get girls because they aren't as nice as they think. Pearl_of_Egypt

I am sorry but I think you got tricked many a time.

There are actual nice guys like myself and then there are the guys who ACT nice to try and get in your pants.

Believe me, I have a friend who has had her heart broken many times because she thought a guy was nice and then he eventually showed his true face at some point...

Thats one more thing I hate about being a nice guy. I am always afraid that I will be mistaken as a faker....

no these weren't the kind of guys pretending to be nice to get in my pants. they were the kind of nice, shy guys that women tend to ignore. I always liked them for their personality, but then I would always find out along the way what kind of people they really were. and in some cases, they were the nice, fun guys that supposedly respected women, and they still ended up being jerks. the nice guys are only nice when they have no or little experience with women, and once they get over that, that's when their true face comes out. not saying all nice guys, you may be a real nice one, but in my experience it was pretty much all of them.

Yes this can happen. All we really have to go on are our experiences, that's the problem with making general statements (Like the one I made in my 1st post), but if that's all we have experianced then it can be pretty justifiable.

Like your statement about them turning out to be worse people is more than likely true as I have seen it happen before. The situations that I have are about the same as my 1st post, but it doesn't mean that it will always be that way or that I will stop trying.

The only people who understand women are other women. :P

Oh, and when you heard her friends talking about your being a nice guy and their being happy for your ex...were they speaking to you specifically or were they in your prescence, not bothering to hide what they were saying?TheEndBoss

Speaking to me.

[QUOTE="TheEndBoss"]The only people who understand women are other women. :P

Oh, and when you heard her friends talking about your being a nice guy and their being happy for your ex...were they speaking to you specifically or were they in your prescence, not bothering to hide what they were saying?Sparticus247

Speaking to me.

Then I wouldn't put too much stock into what they said. It could be they were trying to make you feel good about yourself and your character, while not necessarily meaning what they said. Everybody lies.

[QUOTE="Sparticus247"]

[QUOTE="TheEndBoss"]The only people who understand women are other women. :P

Oh, and when you heard her friends talking about your being a nice guy and their being happy for your ex...were they speaking to you specifically or were they in your prescence, not bothering to hide what they were saying?TheEndBoss

Speaking to me.

Then I wouldn't put too much stock into what they said. It could be they were trying to make you feel good about yourself and your character, while not necessarily meaning what they said. Everybody lies.

Wait what? Read this line again QUOTE-"Now I've been labeled as a jerk by her and her friends."

There are a lot of girls out there who like nice guys... myself included. ;) I like nice, smart, nerdy guys.t3hrubikscube

lol I love the Spock Avi, that just made my day right there.

[QUOTE="t3hrubikscube"]There are a lot of girls out there who like nice guys... myself included. ;) I like nice, smart, nerdy guys.Sparticus247

lol I love the Spock Avi, that just made my day right there.

Hahaha, thanks. I'm glad someone else out there likes it too. :P

There are a lot of girls out there who like nice guys... myself included. ;) I like nice, smart, nerdy guys.t3hrubikscube

see I like nice, smart, nerdy guys too, but it seems they're all a-holes :?

[QUOTE="t3hrubikscube"]There are a lot of girls out there who like nice guys... myself included. ;) I like nice, smart, nerdy guys.Pearl_of_Egypt

see I like nice, smart, nerdy guys too, but it seems they're all a-holes :?

Really? :/ I've never really met a guy like that who turned out to be a jerk. They've all been really nice and shy.

[QUOTE="Sparticus247"]

Seriously.

I don't even know if women today actually want to be with nice guys. All the relationships I see anymore are of women with jerks. I've dated a number of times but how it ends never makes sense to me. My previous relationship ended in a way that didn't even make sense to me. She and her friends had stated numerous times that they were glad she ended up with a "nice guy" for once that would treat her right (which I did). But she didn't want to go to college as a virgin and broke up with me because I wouldn't "put out", so she went and slept with one of her ex's. Now I've been labelled as a jerk by her and her friends.

I seriously don't understand women. Many say they want a nice guy to treat them with respect, but is this all a lie? I know plenty of great guys, but they never get dates because of that very reason. So what's going on here girls? Do women want guys who will respect them even more, or has society changed somuch that we are a turn off?

firebreathing

what you need ot understand is that women are arrtacted the most to this.........................it isn't looks so everyone quit it with the "i'm too ugly **** What they like most about guys is the way they make them feel. you canlt be that run of the mill average "wuss" type that goes up to a girl and says "Excuse me, I think you're very beautiful, would you like to dance??" What you do is go up to her and say "You know, I've noticed you've been checking me out quite a lot, so I guess I can do you a favor and give you one dance."

If I saw some jerk say that to a girl I'd probably let him have it.

Seriously, that's dumbest ****ing thing I've ever heard. It basically translates into the following:

"I'm hot, I know I'm hot, and I know you've been checking me out, becuase I'm so goddam hot and we both know it. So, I guess I could lower my standards for the next few minutes and dance with you, would that make you feel better about yourself, you passive, weak-willed bridge troll?"

Good ****ing God...

[QUOTE="t3hrubikscube"]There are a lot of girls out there who like nice guys... myself included. ;) I like nice, smart, nerdy guys.Pearl_of_Egypt

see I like nice, smart, nerdy guys too, but it seems they're all a-holes :?

[QUOTE="Pearl_of_Egypt"]

[QUOTE="t3hrubikscube"]There are a lot of girls out there who like nice guys... myself included. ;) I like nice, smart, nerdy guys.t3hrubikscube

see I like nice, smart, nerdy guys too, but it seems they're all a-holes :?

Really? :/ I've never really met a guy like that who turned out to be a jerk. They've all been really nice and shy.

Well, being a guy I guess this doesn't really concern me anyway but, I've noticed that a lot of shy, nerdy, guys can be really bitter and act like a-holes.

[QUOTE="Pearl_of_Egypt"]

[QUOTE="t3hrubikscube"]There are a lot of girls out there who like nice guys... myself included. ;) I like nice, smart, nerdy guys.t3hrubikscube

see I like nice, smart, nerdy guys too, but it seems they're all a-holes :?

Really? :/ I've never really met a guy like that who turned out to be a jerk. They've all been really nice and shy.

they are, but once they're used to you as their girlfriend, they come out of their shell and that's when you see their true nature. I'm still hoping to find a nice, smart, nerdy guy who isn't a jerk but I'm starting to lose hope. my advice is go for those guys, but make sure they've already had a serious relationship or two before so you don't be their guinea pig about it.

[QUOTE="t3hrubikscube"]There are a lot of girls out there who like nice guys... myself included. ;) I like nice, smart, nerdy guys.Pearl_of_Egypt

see I like nice, smart, nerdy guys too, but it seems they're all a-holes :?

I tend to like smart nerdy guys too......woah wait a minute!!:o

[QUOTE="Pearl_of_Egypt"]

[QUOTE="t3hrubikscube"]There are a lot of girls out there who like nice guys... myself included. ;) I like nice, smart, nerdy guys.ayanami_rei

see I like nice, smart, nerdy guys too, but it seems they're all a-holes :?

heh that's awesome, hope I find the same some day :)

[QUOTE="Pearl_of_Egypt"]

[QUOTE="t3hrubikscube"]There are a lot of girls out there who like nice guys... myself included. ;) I like nice, smart, nerdy guys.Sparticus247

see I like nice, smart, nerdy guys too, but it seems they're all a-holes :?

I tend to like smart nerdy guys too......woah wait a minute!!:o

Smart/intelligent =/= nerdy

[QUOTE="t3hrubikscube"][QUOTE="Pearl_of_Egypt"]

[QUOTE="t3hrubikscube"]There are a lot of girls out there who like nice guys... myself included. ;) I like nice, smart, nerdy guys.Pearl_of_Egypt

see I like nice, smart, nerdy guys too, but it seems they're all a-holes :?

Really? :/ I've never really met a guy like that who turned out to be a jerk. They've all been really nice and shy.

they are, but once they're used to you as their girlfriend, they come out of their shell and that's when you see their true nature. I'm still hoping to find a nice, smart, nerdy guy who isn't a jerk but I'm starting to lose hope. my advice is go for those guys, but make sure they've already had a serious relationship or two before so you don't be their guinea pig about it.

[QUOTE="TheEndBoss"][QUOTE="Sparticus247"]

[QUOTE="TheEndBoss"]The only people who understand women are other women. :P

Oh, and when you heard her friends talking about your being a nice guy and their being happy for your ex...were they speaking to you specifically or were they in your prescence, not bothering to hide what they were saying?Sparticus247

Speaking to me.

Then I wouldn't put too much stock into what they said. It could be they were trying to make you feel good about yourself and your character, while not necessarily meaning what they said. Everybody lies.

Wait what? Read this line again QUOTE-"Now I've been labeled as a jerk by her and her friends."

Again, everybody lies. At that point in time they were trying to make you feel good about yourself and your character. However, they either didn't feel that way to begin with or are just going along with whatever your ex thought/thinks.

There's a a few flaws with your logic thier pearl. First off, rejecting a guy just because he hasn't had a relationship could result in you turning that guy you've been looking for down. In fact, it can be an indication he's one of those nice guys. Using myself as an example, I only got myself involved in a serious relationship back in september - my first year of uni. Because the majority of girls in high school and below were just too immature. I'm sure there's plenty of guys out there who are exactly the same as me (girls as well, except they wouldn't be dating guys). If the guy didn't date because he didn't like the immaturity, than that's a clear indicator that he's mature, and hopefully that's he's a nice guy - not just a jerk looking to get his hormones satisfied, otherwise he would have gone after any girl, regardless of her maturity. In my opinion, a guy who hasn't had a lot of relationships i either a total jerk (hence why woman don't date him, but that would be obvious early), or are nice guys who prefer a serious relationship and/or just doesn't like immature girls. At least that's my theory :P darkslider99

the reason why I say it's not a good idea to date those guys unless they have had relationships before is because they dont know what they want in a relationship yet, and they don't really know themselves. the nice, shy guys that haven't dated a girl yet think that once they do they'll appreciate the girl who decided to be with them just for the fact that she's with them at all. thing is, after they get into a relationship, once the whole excitement of being with a girl wears off, they learn what it is they really want and who they really are in a relationship. maybe if I was younger, I'd be okay with that as it would be my first relationship too, but now that I'm more experienced, and know exactly what I want, I wouldn't date someone who hasn't found himself out yet. also, since with experience comes maturity, and girls tend to be more mature than boys in general, it's best to date a guy that has experience and has matured enough to compensate.