Men have no choice in pro-choice

[QUOTE="-Jiggles-"][QUOTE="NYiVtec"][QUOTE="-Jiggles-"][QUOTE="NYiVtec"]

[QUOTE="DarkPrinceXC"]If he doesn't want children, why doesn't he get "fixed"?NYiVtec

that would mean losing your manhood:|

No, just a little incision in the scrotum. The male can keep his family jewels.

but he can no longer utilize his family jewels:(

If he went through on the decision to defertilize himself, I am pretty sure he doesn't ever want to have kids. Ever.

Even if he did want kids, he could always have some sperm extracted afterwards.

well he was suggesting it to the op. it just wouldnt feel the same if you know what i mean

A man can still orgasm after having a versectimy as there will still be a combination of liquids to ejaculate afterwards. However, there will be no sperm due to the operation he had before, thus making it impossible to impregnate a woman during intercourse.

[QUOTE="Sajedene"]

I believe that the decision to have the child is made when they chose to have sex or not - not when the woman gets pregnant. The reason why the woman has more say in the abortion matter is because she is the one who has to carry the thing for 9 months and then pop it out.

fbigent34

Thats a double standard and not fair for guys thats the problem.

Howv is it a double standard? They both have sex, but she has to carry it for 9 months and pop it out. A guy has to pay child support if she chooses to raise that child -- all he has to do is cough up some money.

Where is the double standard there?

[QUOTE="fbigent34"][QUOTE="Sajedene"]

I believe that the decision to have the child is made when they chose to have sex or not - not when the woman gets pregnant. The reason why the woman has more say in the abortion matter is because she is the one who has to carry the thing for 9 months and then pop it out.

Sajedene

Thats a double standard and not fair for guys thats the problem.

Howv is it a double standard? They both have sex, but she has to carry it for 9 months and pop it out. A guy has to pay child support if she chooses to raise that child -- all he has to do is cough up some money.

Where is the double standard there?

The part where the father doesn't get a say in whether or not his child may live or die.

Pro-choice is not only hypocritical; it's sexist beyond belief.

[QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="fbigent34"][QUOTE="Sajedene"]

I believe that the decision to have the child is made when they chose to have sex or not - not when the woman gets pregnant. The reason why the woman has more say in the abortion matter is because she is the one who has to carry the thing for 9 months and then pop it out.

Theokhoth

Thats a double standard and not fair for guys thats the problem.

Howv is it a double standard? They both have sex, but she has to carry it for 9 months and pop it out. A guy has to pay child support if she chooses to raise that child -- all he has to do is cough up some money.

Where is the double standard there?

The part where the father doesn't get a say in whether or not his child may live or die.

Pro-choice is not only hypocritical; it's sexist beyond belief.

Okay... so if he wants the kid to live but the mom doesn't... can he go and carry the child for 9 months and pop it out - and even have that risk of dying during birth?

no that's not right. what he should do is get her to sign a legal contract saying she accepts not to have children with him.

thats the only way. if she disagrees then he'll just have to stop having sex with her. :lol:

Okay... so if he wants the kid to live but the mom doesn't... can he go and carry the child for 9 months and pop it out - and even have that risk of dying during birth?

Sajedene

The mother, like the father, has the obligation to care for the child. She does not have the right to evict it from the crib. "Risking death from birth," :lol: appeal to emotion. Not only is that risk unbelievably small, it's well-known before birth.

The child belongs to both parents. Giving only one or the other the right to kill it against the will of the other is sexist. It's just like giving the woman custody of a baby in a legal battle even though she has a criminal record, whereas the man, who has a clean record, is deemed unfit to care for the child "because he didn't give birth to it."

[QUOTE="Sajedene"]

Okay... so if he wants the kid to live but the mom doesn't... can he go and carry the child for 9 months and pop it out - and even have that risk of dying during birth?

Theokhoth

The mother, like the father, has the obligation to care for the child. She does not have the right to evict it from the crib. "Risking death from birth," :lol: appeal to emotion. Not only is that risk unbelievably small, it's well-known before birth.

The child belongs to both parents. Giving only one or the other the right to kill it against the will of the other is sexist. It's just like giving the woman custody of a baby in a legal battle even though she has a criminal record, whereas the man, who has a clean record, is deemed unfit to care for the child "because he didn't give birth to it."

wow this i totally agree with :P i wasnt excpeting a sweet answer that fast.

[QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="fbigent34"][QUOTE="Sajedene"]

I believe that the decision to have the child is made when they chose to have sex or not - not when the woman gets pregnant. The reason why the woman has more say in the abortion matter is because she is the one who has to carry the thing for 9 months and then pop it out.

Theokhoth

Thats a double standard and not fair for guys thats the problem.

Howv is it a double standard? They both have sex, but she has to carry it for 9 months and pop it out. A guy has to pay child support if she chooses to raise that child -- all he has to do is cough up some money.

Where is the double standard there?

The part where the father doesn't get a say in whether or not his child may live or die.

Pro-choice is not only hypocritical; it's sexist beyond belief.

The woman not only risks her life in birth, but is forced to bare the child for 9 full months which ends in excruitating pain.. If men got pregnant too, then there wouldn't be a double standard.. But long and behold there is.

[QUOTE="Theokhoth"][QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="fbigent34"][QUOTE="Sajedene"]

I believe that the decision to have the child is made when they chose to have sex or not - not when the woman gets pregnant. The reason why the woman has more say in the abortion matter is because she is the one who has to carry the thing for 9 months and then pop it out.

sSubZerOo

Thats a double standard and not fair for guys thats the problem.

Howv is it a double standard? They both have sex, but she has to carry it for 9 months and pop it out. A guy has to pay child support if she chooses to raise that child -- all he has to do is cough up some money.

Where is the double standard there?

The part where the father doesn't get a say in whether or not his child may live or die.

Pro-choice is not only hypocritical; it's sexist beyond belief.

The woman not only risks her life in birth, but is forced to bare the child for 9 full months which ends in excruitating pain.. If men got pregnant too, then there wouldn't be a double standard.. But long and behold there is.

She knows and took the chance and the guy knows he took a chance.

yes there would be a doulbe standrad if men got pregant women would want there voice heard and agure till they get the right.

[QUOTE="fbigent34"][QUOTE="Sajedene"]

I believe that the decision to have the child is made when they chose to have sex or not - not when the woman gets pregnant. The reason why the woman has more say in the abortion matter is because she is the one who has to carry the thing for 9 months and then pop it out.

Sajedene

Thats a double standard and not fair for guys thats the problem.

Howv is it a double standard? They both have sex, but she has to carry it for 9 months and pop it out. A guy has to pay child support if she chooses to raise that child -- all he has to do is cough up some money.

Where is the double standard there?

Easier said than done. How old are you? What experience do you have with jobs? To be fair, my job experience so far has been with the easier jobs, but I know that my experiences won't reflect those of others. Some jobs are easier than others, and in some cases the job one would be forced to go into might be a rather difficult one. And once he finds it, he needs to work enough to pay for himself and for the child support; I'm not sure if "cough up some money" is a fitting phrase.

Though to be honest, I don't know much about how the child support system works myself...

[QUOTE="Sajedene"]

Okay... so if he wants the kid to live but the mom doesn't... can he go and carry the child for 9 months and pop it out - and even have that risk of dying during birth?

Theokhoth

The mother, like the father, has the obligation to care for the child. She does not have the right to evict it from the crib. "Risking death from birth," :lol: appeal to emotion. Not only is that risk unbelievably small, it's well-known before birth.

The child belongs to both parents. Giving only one or the other the right to kill it against the will of the other is sexist. It's just like giving the woman custody of a baby in a legal battle even though she has a criminal record, whereas the man, who has a clean record, is deemed unfit to care for the child "because he didn't give birth to it."

You bring up some good point, but it's still the women that goes through all the physical and mental states. But personally I think it's not that big of deal, because I would bet 97% of men wouldn't want to raise the child in the first place.

Now cant women take drugs so she dosent feel anything? so reality... some feel pain some others dont.

bobaban -its the way nature is though you can stop someone from romaing nude in there house. is there right to do it.

also the fact i would raise i child and i am a male.

[QUOTE="Sajedene"]

Okay... so if he wants the kid to live but the mom doesn't... can he go and carry the child for 9 months and pop it out - and even have that risk of dying during birth?

Theokhoth

The mother, like the father, has the obligation to care for the child. She does not have the right to evict it from the crib. "Risking death from birth," :lol: appeal to emotion. Not only is that risk unbelievably small, it's well-known before birth.

The child belongs to both parents. Giving only one or the other the right to kill it against the will of the other is sexist. It's just like giving the woman custody of a baby in a legal battle even though she has a criminal record, whereas the man, who has a clean record, is deemed unfit to care for the child "because he didn't give birth to it."

The mother who chooses to keep the child until birth will most likely have the best intentions of the child (which is why if she chooses to keep the child, the father becomes obligated to pay child support). The risk of death from birth is LOW in well developed countries - but the fact that that risk exists makes it a factor.

It is not sexist only because of the fact that a man can NOT carry a baby. The day that day comes then this "sexist double standard" will cease to exist. I myself would love to not ruin my body just to have a baby. Nature already chose the vessel of the child, and that carrier gets to choose whether it will maintain hosting duties or not.

I'm pro-life, so I don't really care.

The purpose of sex is procreation. If you or your partner get pregnant by "accident," you should be expected to raise the baby.

Sajedene - the fact is it sexist and still a doulbe standrad you like it or not.

bungie93-the point of having sex is to bring other life to earth kids change your lifes for worst and better. if you want to "protect youself for sex dont have sex at all"

[QUOTE="fbigent34"][QUOTE="Sajedene"]

I believe that the decision to have the child is made when they chose to have sex or not - not when the woman gets pregnant. The reason why the woman has more say in the abortion matter is because she is the one who has to carry the thing for 9 months and then pop it out.

Sajedene

Thats a double standard and not fair for guys thats the problem.

Howv is it a double standard? They both have sex, but she has to carry it for 9 months and pop it out. A guy has to pay child support if she chooses to raise that child -- all he has to do is cough up some money.

Where is the double standard there?

[QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="fbigent34"][QUOTE="Sajedene"]

I believe that the decision to have the child is made when they chose to have sex or not - not when the woman gets pregnant. The reason why the woman has more say in the abortion matter is because she is the one who has to carry the thing for 9 months and then pop it out.

peaceful_anger

Thats a double standard and not fair for guys thats the problem.

Howv is it a double standard? They both have sex, but she has to carry it for 9 months and pop it out. A guy has to pay child support if she chooses to raise that child -- all he has to do is cough up some money.

Where is the double standard there?

well the fact man really dont have a say. I think you should write something to congress about this :P That said i look forwaord rasining a child up with my future wife. :)

[QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="fbigent34"][QUOTE="Sajedene"]

I believe that the decision to have the child is made when they chose to have sex or not - not when the woman gets pregnant. The reason why the woman has more say in the abortion matter is because she is the one who has to carry the thing for 9 months and then pop it out.

peaceful_anger

Thats a double standard and not fair for guys thats the problem.

Howv is it a double standard? They both have sex, but she has to carry it for 9 months and pop it out. A guy has to pay child support if she chooses to raise that child -- all he has to do is cough up some money.

Where is the double standard there?

If you ask me -- you all got the easy end of the stick here. All you got to do is put in some money for the next 21 years. The woman who CHOOSES to keep the child is obligated to be a MOTHER to that child -- not just an ATM machine.

The reason why the mother has more weight in this decision again comes down to the FACT that she has to be the one to carry it and give birth to it -- if she keeps it (again stressing that that is the only time a man has to pay child support) RAISE it, nurture it, care for it, educate it, etc etc etc etc.

Seriously, somene please explain to me how to make it work in a scenario where a man wants to keep the child but the woman doesnt. HOW can one make that work? If you can explain it to me - then I will accept the existance of a double standard.

[QUOTE="peaceful_anger"][QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="fbigent34"][QUOTE="Sajedene"]

I believe that the decision to have the child is made when they chose to have sex or not - not when the woman gets pregnant. The reason why the woman has more say in the abortion matter is because she is the one who has to carry the thing for 9 months and then pop it out.

Sajedene

Thats a double standard and not fair for guys thats the problem.

Howv is it a double standard? They both have sex, but she has to carry it for 9 months and pop it out. A guy has to pay child support if she chooses to raise that child -- all he has to do is cough up some money.

Where is the double standard there?

If you ask me -- you all got the easy end of the stick here. All you got to do is put in some money for the next 21 years. The woman who CHOOSES to keep the child is obligated to be a MOTHER to that child -- not just an ATM machine.

The reason why the mother has more weight in this decision again comes down to the FACT that she has to be the one to carry it and give birth to it -- if she keeps it (again stressing that that is the only time a man has to pay child support) RAISE it, nurture it, care for it, educate it, etc etc etc etc.

Seriously, somene please explain to me how to make it work in a scenario where a man wants to keep the child but the woman doesnt. HOW can one make that work? If you can explain it to me - then I will accept the existance of a double standard.

you not even listing whats the point? your using the women body agurement. and the fact man cant have babies is a double standard when it TAKES TWO TO MAKE A BABY Man And Female.

[QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="peaceful_anger"][QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="fbigent34"][QUOTE="Sajedene"]

I believe that the decision to have the child is made when they chose to have sex or not - not when the woman gets pregnant. The reason why the woman has more say in the abortion matter is because she is the one who has to carry the thing for 9 months and then pop it out.

fbigent34

Thats a double standard and not fair for guys thats the problem.

Howv is it a double standard? They both have sex, but she has to carry it for 9 months and pop it out. A guy has to pay child support if she chooses to raise that child -- all he has to do is cough up some money.

Where is the double standard there?

If you ask me -- you all got the easy end of the stick here. All you got to do is put in some money for the next 21 years. The woman who CHOOSES to keep the child is obligated to be a MOTHER to that child -- not just an ATM machine.

The reason why the mother has more weight in this decision again comes down to the FACT that she has to be the one to carry it and give birth to it -- if she keeps it (again stressing that that is the only time a man has to pay child support) RAISE it, nurture it, care for it, educate it, etc etc etc etc.

Seriously, somene please explain to me how to make it work in a scenario where a man wants to keep the child but the woman doesnt. HOW can one make that work? If you can explain it to me - then I will accept the existance of a double standard.

you not even listing whats the point? your using the women body agurement. and the fact man cant have babies is a double standard when it TAKES TWO TO MAKE A BABY Man And Female.

BUT it ONLY TAKES ONE TO CARRY AND GIVE BIRTH TO IT. Not by choice either. Which is the whole point I'm trying to make. A man can choose to keep the baby the day he can choose to carry it for 9 months and give birth to it. Women didnt choose this scenario - so it can not be a double standard. Women don't choose to be the one to carry that child.

[QUOTE="peaceful_anger"][QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="fbigent34"][QUOTE="Sajedene"]

I believe that the decision to have the child is made when they chose to have sex or not - not when the woman gets pregnant. The reason why the woman has more say in the abortion matter is because she is the one who has to carry the thing for 9 months and then pop it out.

Sajedene

Thats a double standard and not fair for guys thats the problem.

Howv is it a double standard? They both have sex, but she has to carry it for 9 months and pop it out. A guy has to pay child support if she chooses to raise that child -- all he has to do is cough up some money.

Where is the double standard there?

If you ask me -- you all got the easy end of the stick here. All you got to do is put in some money for the next 21 years. The woman who CHOOSES to keep the child is obligated to be a MOTHER to that child -- not just an ATM machine.

The reason why the mother has more weight in this decision again comes down to the FACT that she has to be the one to carry it and give birth to it -- if she keeps it (again stressing that that is the only time a man has to pay child support) RAISE it, nurture it, care for it, educate it, etc etc etc etc.

Seriously, somene please explain to me how to make it work in a scenario where a man wants to keep the child but the woman doesnt. HOW can one make that work? If you can explain it to me - then I will accept the existance of a double standard.

[QUOTE="Theokhoth"][QUOTE="Sajedene"]

Okay... so if he wants the kid to live but the mom doesn't... can he go and carry the child for 9 months and pop it out - and even have that risk of dying during birth?

Sajedene

The mother, like the father, has the obligation to care for the child. She does not have the right to evict it from the crib. "Risking death from birth," :lol: appeal to emotion. Not only is that risk unbelievably small, it's well-known before birth.

The child belongs to both parents. Giving only one or the other the right to kill it against the will of the other is sexist. It's just like giving the woman custody of a baby in a legal battle even though she has a criminal record, whereas the man, who has a clean record, is deemed unfit to care for the child "because he didn't give birth to it."

The mother who chooses to keep the child until birth will most likely have the best intentions of the child (which is why if she chooses to keep the child, the father becomes obligated to pay child support). The risk of death from birth is LOW in well developed countries - but the fact that that risk exists makes it a factor.

It is not sexist only because of the fact that a man can NOT carry a baby. The day that day comes then this "sexist double standard" will cease to exist. I myself would love to not ruin my body just to have a baby. Nature already chose the vessel of the child, and that carrier gets to choose whether it will maintain hosting duties or not.

A questionable assumption, at most. I've heard of a couple news stories of male being able to carry a baby.

In any case, I think the point being made was that even within the assumption that the woman has the greater burden, the woman chooses to have that burden in not getting an abortion, whereas a man can't make that choice.

[QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="peaceful_anger"][QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="fbigent34"][QUOTE="Sajedene"]

I believe that the decision to have the child is made when they chose to have sex or not - not when the woman gets pregnant. The reason why the woman has more say in the abortion matter is because she is the one who has to carry the thing for 9 months and then pop it out.

peaceful_anger

Thats a double standard and not fair for guys thats the problem.

Howv is it a double standard? They both have sex, but she has to carry it for 9 months and pop it out. A guy has to pay child support if she chooses to raise that child -- all he has to do is cough up some money.

Where is the double standard there?

If you ask me -- you all got the easy end of the stick here. All you got to do is put in some money for the next 21 years. The woman who CHOOSES to keep the child is obligated to be a MOTHER to that child -- not just an ATM machine.

The reason why the mother has more weight in this decision again comes down to the FACT that she has to be the one to carry it and give birth to it -- if she keeps it (again stressing that that is the only time a man has to pay child support) RAISE it, nurture it, care for it, educate it, etc etc etc etc.

Seriously, somene please explain to me how to make it work in a scenario where a man wants to keep the child but the woman doesnt. HOW can one make that work? If you can explain it to me - then I will accept the existance of a double standard.

What woman in their right mind would want to carry a child they do not want full term? Do you have any idea what pregnancy is and what it does to a woman's body?!

[QUOTE="peaceful_anger"][QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="peaceful_anger"][QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="fbigent34"][QUOTE="Sajedene"]

I believe that the decision to have the child is made when they chose to have sex or not - not when the woman gets pregnant. The reason why the woman has more say in the abortion matter is because she is the one who has to carry the thing for 9 months and then pop it out.

Sajedene

Thats a double standard and not fair for guys thats the problem.

Howv is it a double standard? They both have sex, but she has to carry it for 9 months and pop it out. A guy has to pay child support if she chooses to raise that child -- all he has to do is cough up some money.

Where is the double standard there?

If you ask me -- you all got the easy end of the stick here. All you got to do is put in some money for the next 21 years. The woman who CHOOSES to keep the child is obligated to be a MOTHER to that child -- not just an ATM machine.

The reason why the mother has more weight in this decision again comes down to the FACT that she has to be the one to carry it and give birth to it -- if she keeps it (again stressing that that is the only time a man has to pay child support) RAISE it, nurture it, care for it, educate it, etc etc etc etc.

Seriously, somene please explain to me how to make it work in a scenario where a man wants to keep the child but the woman doesnt. HOW can one make that work? If you can explain it to me - then I will accept the existance of a double standard.

What woman in their right mind would want to carry a child they do not want full term? Do you have any idea what pregnancy is and what it does to a woman's body?!

Depends if she says "If I get knocked up I'll get an abortion;" you know, some sort of agreement. I'm not sure how legal that is though.

Basically, if he says he's not taking responsibility for her getting pregnant then he should be off the hook. It's not like chicks don't have contraception either.

I have a question. Is there a double standard when it comes to becoming a parent?

If a man lets a woman know from the beginning of a relationship that he doesn't want children, but she becomes pregnant and keeps the child, should he have to pay child support and be responsible for that child?

The reason I'm asking this is because a woman has a choice whether to have the baby or not, but a man has no choice in the matter. He can't make her have an abortion or make her carry the baby full term. So if the man doesn't have a vote on whether the baby lives or dies, should he be forced to be financiall responsible for the child? peaceful_anger

he should take steps to prevent it if that's the case. like condoms or getting snipped.

Well legally I think it should ultimately be up to the woman since its her body. on a personal level I think the one should talk to the man about it and make the decision together.Zero5000X

A man should make sure he can trust that woman before getting her pregnant. If he knows that she would keep the baby, well, keep the risks out the way.

If a man doesn't want to have children, but he gets a girl pregnant and she decides to keep it, I think the man has the right to give up any rights to the child, in doing so I think he shouldn't have to pay money for her to take care of the child that she chose not to abort. I think that would make everything even.ElectronicMagic

that's why men can choose to use protection as well. they could also have a contract written out before had but i doubt most will get laid after pulling out a contract like that hehe.

[QUOTE="Zero5000X"]Well legally I think it should ultimately be up to the woman since its her body. on a personal level I think the one should talk to the man about it and make the decision together.DigitalExile

I agree to an extent. If they use contraceptives and she still gets pregnant then thats different if she for some reason tricks the guy into getting her pregnant (ie says she's using birth control but isn't).

I have a question. Is there a double standard when it comes to becoming a parent?

If a man lets a woman know from the beginning of a relationship that he doesn't want children, but she becomes pregnant and keeps the child, should he have to pay child support and be responsible for that child?

The reason I'm asking this is because a woman has a choice whether to have the baby or not, but a man has no choice in the matter. He can't make her have an abortion or make her carry the baby full term. So if the man doesn't have a vote on whether the baby lives or dies, should he be forced to be financiall responsible for the child? peaceful_anger

There is no way to "force" a man to be financially responsible for his child. He is supposed to, but there are so many deadbeat fathers out there, that the government will pay child support if the father doesn't, in order to lower poverty(this exists in Canada, I'm not sure about other parts of the world). I've also heard that the father will not be able to work any government jobs, but I don't know if this is true.

You don't want it

problem solved:P

I have a question. Is there a double standard when it comes to becoming a parent?

If a man lets a woman know from the beginning of a relationship that he doesn't want children, but she becomes pregnant and keeps the child, should he have to pay child support and be responsible for that child?

The reason I'm asking this is because a woman has a choice whether to have the baby or not, but a man has no choice in the matter. He can't make her have an abortion or make her carry the baby full term. So if the man doesn't have a vote on whether the baby lives or dies, should he be forced to be financiall responsible for the child? peaceful_anger

The only one that really doesn't have a choice is the baby being killed.

And to answer you're question, if two people are going to be mature enough to have sex, they need to be responsible enough and mature enough to deal with what might come from the act.

I think the Father should have some sort of right, beyond the right to be, ya know, completely ****ed. Pre-notification, for example. Same goes for parents or legal guardians, if the mother is a minor.

And before someone goes "nuts," I am pro-abortion, and I support the idea that the woman, ultimately, has the final say.

Abortion sounds so me as nothing but laziness, irresponsibility for one's actions, and a symptom to the ultimate problem - sexual promiscuity. If a person has sex, you should know the possible outcomes by now. Accept those possible outcomes if you are going to get your freak on. If you are not ready to be a parent, do not have sex.

I find it quite odd that a person can go to jail and be looked down upon for killing an animal but many do not find it wrong to kill a child. No, it's not a child, it's an inconvenience. What the heck is wrong with this picture? Why can't people step up and take responsibility.

Men should have a right in pro-choice they had help make the baby. they have all the repsonblity to raise the child just like the mother. its only fair.

but yea if men got pregant women would agure and complain intill they get there way to the law.

mindstorm - I think it really depands on the baby health if anything else. Its simliar to putting you're dog to sleep beaucse he sick and slowy dieing i think its about the same way.

A man is required for a woman to get pregnant, you know. If the man doesn't want to have any babies, then he could either wear a condom or not have sexual intercourse at all.

If a woman gets pregnant without the husband/boyfriend being involved is an entirely different issue. :|

-Jiggles-

Agreed. I don't think men should be allowed a say in whether a woman can get an abortion or not. Sure they can talk to her but I don't think they should be allowed to have their own way if the couple disagrees.